Yellow Wolf - Bluefrost1800 - Gravity Falls [Archive of Our Own] (2024)

Chapter 1: Meet the twins

Chapter Text

Ah, summer break.

"So you want cheese on that, hon?" asked a man in hismid-twenties grilling burgers while kids were running around and other people were sitting at a picnic table.

A time for leisure, recreation, and taking her easy. Unless you're me.

A teenage boy and two girls ridding a golf cart crashedthrough the 'Welcome to Gravity Falls' billboard, screaming and being chased by an unknown creature. One of the two girls was driving while the passengers looked back.

"It's getting closer!" yelled the boy. He had short blond hair, blue eyes and pale skin. He was wearing a black v-neck t-shirt, blue jeans and red converse. The girl that wasn't driving had long brown hair that curled at the end and brown eyes. She was wearing a purple sparkling sweater with a cat on it, green skirt, black sneakers, a green headband and star shaped earrings. The girl that was driving looked like the other girl and that was understandable as they were twins. She had her hair tied into a high ponytail and was wearing a simple red t-shirt, blue shorts, black sneakers and a blue vest. The unknown creature tried to catch the cart but fell short. The cart flew off a rock and landed roughly.

My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel and the blond hottie is Liam, but don't get your hopes up, he has a girlfriend. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.

Suddenly, the monster threw a tree that nearly hit them.

"Look out!" yelled Mabel.

Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation. Let's rewind.

*Flashback*

It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air.

The girls were in the living room of their house inPiedmont, California. Dipper was laying on the couch, reading a book while Mabel was sitting next to her and knitting a sweater. Their parents walked in and looked at them.

"Is this what you're going to do all summer, girls?" asked their father.

"Pretty much."they answered in union, not taking their eyes off of what theywere doing.

"How about you spend summer in Oregon with your great-uncle?" suggested their mother.

"I wouldn't mind. What about you Dipper?" asked Mabel, looking at her sister who just shrugged.

They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods.

When the twins arrived at their room in the attic they started to unpack. The roomfeatured a triangular window that faced the same direction as the main entrance, multiple old arcade games, a coffin used as a TV table, a small area with a second window, two closets, two beds, a table under the window and a nightstand next to it.

"This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!" said Mabel after she had attached some posters.

My sister tended to look on the bright side of things.

Dipper and Mabel were outside and doing their own things. Mabel was rolling in grass while Dipper was under a tree and trying to read a book. Key word 'trying'. A woodpecker was pecking on her hat.

But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings.

A man in a mask jumped from behind her, effectively scaring her. He took off the mask and laughed before starting to cough and hitting his chest. He was wearing a black suit, a red fez andrectangular glasses.

And then there was our Great Uncle Stan. That guy. Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called 'The Mystery Shack'. The real mystery was why anyone came.

At the Mystery Shack Stan was showing some tourists fake creatures.

"Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!" he showed them a what appeared to be a sasquatch wearing underwear. The tourists, the gullible fools they were, started speaking excitedly and snapped pictures.

And guess who had to work there.

The girls were nearby sweeping the floor. Dipper looked at the group and sighed, already bored.

It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer. Until one fateful day...

Mabel was peeking through Stan-bobbleheads. She was wearing a peach colored sweater with red-violet-magenta jagged stripes design, a dark green skirt, red headband, black sneakers and green feather earrings.

"He's looking at it! He's looking at it!" she repeated. She was looking at a boy who was reading a note she had written.

"Uh.. Do you like me? Yes? Definitely? Absolutely!!!" he read and looked around.

"I rigged it!" she said. Behind her, her sister was spraying a jar with water and wiping it.

"Mabel, I know you're going through your whole 'Boy Crazy' phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the 'crazy' part." she said. Dipper was wearing a white tank top, jean shorts, black sneakers and a brown cap with a star on it.

"What?" Mabel blew a raspberry. "Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!"

"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?" she asked, remembering every time her sister flirted with a guy that summer.

"Mock all you want, sister, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now." she pointed at the entrance to the museum, and a moment later Stan walked through it, holding fliers and signs.

He burped but it got caught in his throat. "Oh! Oh, not good. Ow."

"Aww! Why!" said Mabel as her twin laughed.

"All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." the elder said.

"Not it!" said the twins quickly.

"Uh, also not it." said Soos who was installing a shelf on the wall. Soos had light brown hair, brown eyes and light peach fair skin. He was wearing a light brown cap, dark brown shoes, beige shorts and a jade green-ish gray shirt with a big dark green poorly painted question mark on the front and the word 'staff' on the back, which was from the Mystery Shack.

"Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that." he said and started eating a chocolate bar.

"Wendle, I need you to put up this sign!" he said, turning to the redhead at the cash register who was reading a magazine. Wendle had shoulder-length red hair, green eyes and fair skin with freckles. He was wearing a open green flannel shirt with a white undershirt, blue skinny jeans, muddy rain boots, and a tan and dark brown lumberjack hat.

"I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh..." he said,pretending to reach for the signs.

"I'd fire all of you if I could. All right, let's make it... eenie, meenie, miney... you." he pointed at Dipper.

"Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched."

"Ugh, this again." he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out 'BEWARE'." she showed him her arm.

"...That says 'BEWARB'. Look, kid. The whole 'monsters in the forest' thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." he pointed to a sweaty guylaughing while looking at a Stan-bobblehead's head bobble. "So quit being so paranoid!"he said and gave her the signs.

Dipper was in the forest hammering signs on trees and murmuring to herself unaware of the two glowing yellow eyes watching her from the shadows.

"Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say." she said, hammering a sign that said 'To The Mystery Shack'. Shestarted to hammer a nail on another tree trunk, but it made a metallic sound. She tapped the tree with the hammer, which made more metallic sounds.Wiping away some dust, she opened a secret window that revealed a mechanical box with two control switches on top. She tested one control but nothing happened. Then she tried the other and behind her a hole opened up in the ground.

"What the...?" she looked inside the holewhere abook layed covered in dust. She picked the book up and placed it on the ground, checking if anyone was watching. The book was maroon colored and had a six fingered hand with the number three on it. She flipped one pagewhere an eye-glass wasand she looked throughtit beforeputting it down.Flippingto another pageshe began to read aloud.

"It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon."she flipped through the pages. "What is all this?" she asked no one in particular and stopped at a page that said TRUST NO ONE,continuing to read."Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust."she closed the journal. "No one you can trust." she repeated and heard a grow. Looking up, she saw the two glowing eyes and froze. The creature came closer and it was revealed that instead of one there were two wolves that were bigger than any ordinary one. The one on the left had it's right eye shutwith three scars going down it, the same was with the other wolf on its left eye. The wolves had brown coats withthe color on their legs a darker shade. They came closer and closer, their grows growing louder and louder.Dipper knew she had to run but was frozen in fear, her eyes not leaving the wolves. Finally they leaped at her, making her fall on her back and knocking the air out of her. They opened their mouths, showing the impressive sets of teeth and she screwed her eyes shut expecting pain. When none came and she felt something wet and cold touch her, she dared to open her eye. What she saw was not what she expected. The wolves were sniffing her and were wagging their tails.

"Where are you, you stupid mutts!?" yelled someone and the wolves raised their heads. She looked pastthe wolveswhere the bushes rustled and a man came out of them. He had blond hair, blue eyes and pale skin. He was wearing a purple dress shirt, black jeans and black dress shoes; he was obviously not a hiker. "Do you have any-What the hell are you doing!?" he yelled when he saw them. One of the wolves went to him while the other continued to sniff and now lick her. The blond knelt down and moved his face closer to the wolf's. After a moment his eyes widened and he slowly looked at her.

"It's you.." he whispered. "It's really you." he said this time louder. He walked closer to her, the wolf getting off of her, and fell on his knees before her. "I can't believe it..." there were unshed tears in his eyes.

"Who..who are you?" finally asked Dipper and, instead of an answer, she got a hug from the man.

"You came back... you finally came back!" he sobbed on her shoulder.

"Sorry, but I think you've got the wrong person." she said. The man must hadrealized what he was doing and released her from the hug.

"Sorry... I know this might seem strange, but even though you don't know me, I know you."

"Well that isn't creepy at all." she said sarcastically and stood up. "Listen man, you obviously have the wrong girl so I'll just go." she picked up the journal and turned to leave.

"Wait!" he stopped her. "I can explain! You found the journal so that means that you know of the strange things happening in Gravity Falls." he said and she turned to him.

"Yeah, so what?" she asked, tightening her grip on the journal. The man smiled and brought his arms together in front of her. The brunette was confused at thatwhen a bright red flame burst from his palms. The flame took the form of a phoenix and flew around them before going up and erupting into snow.

"Snow?" she asked and looked at the man who was now smiling.

"It's an old family spell. We got off on the wrong foot so can we start over?" he asked rubbing the back of his neck. Dipper though for a moment before hesitantly nodding. "Wicked. My name is Liam and I'm 19. The mutts are Henry," he pointed to the right eyed wolf. "and Rex." he pointed to the left eyed one. "Sorry for scaring you, we were just excited to finally meet you."

"I'm Dipper and I'm 12." she said and thought for a moment before asking him. "I thought you said you knew me?"

"I've only heard stories about you. Anything else you want to ask me?"

"That thing you did with the flame. How did you do it?" she asked taking a step closer to him.

"Like I said, it's an old family spell. We usually teach our young when they're four so that they can get the hang of magic." he explained, making the flame in his hand.

"Amazing. Can you teach me?" she asked.

"It's a bit too early for you but I will." he said and got closer to her.

"DIPPER!"

Dipper froze and looked behind her to where the yell came from. She looked at Liam, then at the wolves,then at the journal.

"She can't know about this." Liam said and she looked at him. "Give me the journal." he reached for the book but Dipper pulled it away.

"I don't trust you." she said.

"I know but you can. We will hide until your sister goes away but she must not know about the journal." he said as the wolves returned to their previous hiding spot. She looked into his eyes and did not see a reason not to believe him. She gave him the journal and watched as he also hid. She turned around to where her twin's voice was lastly hear and a moment laterthe girl jumped up from behind a log.

"Hello." she said happily. "What'cha doing?"

"Putting the signs Grunkle Stan gave me. You?" she answered, trying to keep her voice even.

"Well I just met the best girls ever!" she bragged. "I met them while I was in town."

"What were you doing there?"

"Oh, you know, trying to get a boyfriend. Which I did!" she screamed the last part.

"Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?"

"What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLE!" she gasped. "I have to get ready for my date!" she said and started running in the direction of the shack. The moment she was out of sight Liam and the wolves came out of hiding.

"So..that was your twin?" he said slowly, uncertain.

"Yeah."

"...I don't see the resemblance." he gave her the journal.

"Yeah..." they we silent for a moment. "Can you teach me magic another time?"

"Sure." he raised an eyebrow. "But why not now?"

"I have to see Mabel's 'boyfriend'."

"Why?"

"Because I have a really bad feeling. It's like something awful is going to happen to Mabel soon." she explained, placing her hand on her chest.

"That's good."the brunette looked at him to see him grinning. "That means your powers are awakening."

"Powers?" she asked intrigued.

"I'll tell you later. Your sister must be in danger if you feel it." he said, completely serious. One of the wolves, Rex, walked up to her and crouched. She looked at him and then at the blond. "He wants you to ride him." he said. "He'll take you to the Mystery Shack before your sister even reaches it." she nodded and carefully sat on the wolf's back.

She held tightly on his fur with both hands, journal under her arm. He stood up and started walking around to get used to the extra weight. After a moment he turned to the direction of the shack and started running. The scenery around them started to blur and Dipper could feel the wind in her hair. Her heart was speeding up with every second that passed but not out of fear, but excitement. She leaned forward and slowly opened her eyes. She saw the scenery andenjoyed the way the sun was filtering through the tree branches. She soon let go ofits fur with one hand and then the other, knowing what will happen if she wasn't holding on and not caring. This moment was too memorable and it didn't matter if she fell and broke her neck. All too soon they were at the treeline surrounding theshack. The wolf lowered himself and she got off. She looked at him and lightly petted him.

"Thank you for the ride." she whispered before heading towards the shack. She looked at him one last time before going in. Rex watched for a moment longer before he left. Inside Dipper waited in the living room for her sister, who arrived shortly.

"Whoa. How'd you get here so fast?" she asked.

"Uh, I took a shortcut."

"Hmm.." her twin looked at her suspiciously. "Ok." she broke into a smile, not noticing the sigh of relief her twin gave. At that moment the doorbell rang and Mabel ran towards the door with an 'I'll get it'. Dipper sat down on the armchair and began to read the journal. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her grunkle coming and quickly hid the book under the cushion, grabbeda random magazine and pretended to read it.

"What'cha reading there, slick?" he asked.

"I was just catching up on, uh..." she looked at the cover "Gold Chains For Old Men Magazine?"

"That's a good issue."

"Hey, family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!" said Mabel and the guy next to her turned around to face them. He had dark brown hair covering his left eye, pale skin and black eyes. He was wearing a black hoody with the hood up and ripped at the left shoulder, blue ripped jeans and black sneakers.

"'Sup?" he waved at them.

"Hey..." waved Dipper in return.

"How's it hanging?" greeted Stan.

"We met at the cemetery. He's really deep." said Mabel and felt his arm."Oh. Little muscle there. That's... what a surprise..."

"So, what's your name?" asked the twin.

"Uh. Normal... MAN!" he yelled.

"He means Norman." said Mabel and leaned onto him.

"Are you bleeding, Norman?" Dipper asked, noticing the deep red liquid dripping down his face.

"It's jam." he said and Mabel gasped.

"I love jam! Look. At. This!" said the brunette pointing at herself and Norman.

"So, you wanna go hold hands or... whatever?" he asked.

"Oh, oh, my goodness." she giggled. "Don't wait up!" she ran out. Normanfinger gunned at Stan and Dipperbeforerunning into the wall several times on his way out.

There was something about Norman that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal.

Dipper was in the attic reading the journal, sitting on a plush red window seat with a stained-glass window, designed in the form of Eye of Providence that overlooked the back porch.

"Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious..."she read out loud and gasped. She was on the journal page about The Undead and imagined the picture of the zombie becoming Norman.

"'Sup." she imagined him saying.

"ZOMBIE!" she yelled. The yelled carried through the house and Stan, who was in the bathroom fixing his bow tie, heard it.

"Somebody say 'crombie'? What is that, crombie? That's not even a word. You're losing your mind." he told himself.

Realizing what that meant Dipper looked out the window to see Norman walking towards Mabel with outstretched arms, moaning. Mabel was sitting on a picnic table, kicking her feet, not at all bothered what might happen to her at that moment.

"I like you." she told him.

"Oh, no! Mabel! No, no, Mabel, watch out!" yelled Dipper.

"Huh, huh!" he put his hands around her neck and Dipper's heart stopped at that moment, but it started again when Norman removed his hands to reveal a flower necklace made out of daisies.

"Daisies? You scallywag..." she told him. Breathing out a sigh of relief, Dipper stood up. "Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?" she thought out loud.

"It's a dilemma, to be sure." startled her Soos who was screwing on a lightbulb. "I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' aloud to yourself in this empty room." he said and continued working on the lamp.

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?" she asked.

"Hmm. How many brains didja see the guy eat?" he asked.

"Zero." she looked down.

"Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf."

*Flashback*

Soos was eating his lunch on a bench when a very hairy mailman walked by him. Hescooted away from him, suspicious.

"But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you’re a major league cuckoo clock." he told her.

"As always, Soos, you’re right." she agreed.

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse."

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" yelled Stan from another room.

"I am needed elsewhere." he said and left the attic.

My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence.

Dipper was in the park spying on Norman and Mabel who were playing a game of Frisbee.

"What do you think you're doing?" she looked over her shoulder to see Liam.

"Oh, hey. I was just spying on my sister and her so called 'boyfriend'. You?"

"Just passing through. So what do you know about the guy?" he looked at Norman with a raised brow.

"I think he's a zombie but I need proof or else people will think I'm crazy." she said and looked back at them. Mabel threw the frisbee at Norman, hitting him on the head and making him fall. They both frown, a little disturbed on Dipper's side, at that.

"...He doesn't look like a zombie." Liam said after a moment.

"How do you know?" she asked getting up as her sister and Norman headed somewhere.

"A friend of mine actually dated one."

"Seriously?" she asked, dumbfounded.

"Yeah, so I know a little about zombies." he shrugged. The two of them continued to follow the couple, a few feet behind them as to not make it too obvious but close enough to hear them.

"Where should we go now?" asked Mabel as she skipped.

"Uh, I know this diner where we can eat and stuff." Norman said.

"Oh, oh my." giggled and blushed Mabel.

"I know where they're going." said the blond. "Let's take the shortcut." he turned right and Dipper hesitated a little before following him. They walked for a short amount of time before reaching a diner in theshape of a fallen redwood log. There was even the stump of a redwood located on its right, as though the tree was chopped down and made into the restaurant. There was a sign over it reading the diner's name 'Greasy's Diner' and under it an attached sign 'We have food' as if that wasn't obvious enough. Close by there was a wooden pole with a light hanging from it, and a banner on one side that simply said 'Eat'. The diner was on a train car that was labeled 'Gravity Falls 1883', with steps leading to the entrance and back (side?) door.

"You sure they're going to come here?" she asked as they walked up the stairs.

"Positive." he opened the door to her and she thanked him. The inside was like any other diner with a long counter with bar stools, booths, an old-fashioned jukebox and a cake display. The floor was wooden and the walls were made out of logs. They sat in one of the booths and looked in the menu. "So what do you want? You can order anything, my treat."

"We're not here to eat, we're here to spy on my sister."

"We will but it will seem prettysuspiciousof us to only sit here waiting for them then leave without ordering at least a drink." he closed the menu and signaled for a waitress.

"Hmm...you've got a point." she said as the waitress arrived. The waitress had brown eyes with her left eye closed, her grey hair styled in a beehive and was wearing light blue eye shadow. Her uniform consisted of a grayish rose dress and a white apron around her waist that had acoffee stain.

"What can I get you, dears?" she asked them sweetly.

"Black coffee andice tea." said Liam and the waitress nodded as she wrote it down.

"Anything else?" she asked.

"No, thank you." he said and she left.

"How'd you know I likedice tea?" asked the brunette.

"Like I said, I've heard stories about you. Oh, here they come." he said and raised the menu to hide his face. Dipper looked at the door and saw Norman's arm breaking through the door window to open it from the inside and letting Mabel in. She quickly hid behind her menu like Liam and listened to how Norman stumbled around and crashed, trying to follow Mabel. Luckily they sat only a booth away so they could hear them. They both put down the menus and tried to listen.

"I'm having a wonderful time with you Norman." sighed Mabel.

"Here you go, dears." the waitress gave them their orders and went to serve the other clients. They sat there, drinking their drinks and listening to Mabel talk about her sweaters, crafts and how she can stuff gummy worms in her nose to which Liam shiveredin disgust.

"Are you sure you're related?" he asked at that.

"Yeah, I checked." she said and continued to listen.When Mabel and Norman left Liampaid the bill and they followed the 'couple' as theyfrolicked in the cemetery. Not seeing the open grave, Norman fell into it and crawled out, screaming. They paused then started laughing. From the bushes Liam and Dipper were frowning at that.

I'd seen enough.

The next day Dipper went to her shared room where her sister was brushing her hair.

"Mabel. We've gotta talk about Norman." she said in a serious tone.

"Isn’t he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!" she showed her cheek which had a red spot on it, making Dippersquawk. "Ha, ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower!"

*Flashback*

Mabel was behind the shack with a leaf blower that sat on top a garbage can. She switched it on and put a picture of Norman with his mouth area cut out on the leaf blower's tube. "Kissing practice!" she leaned into leaf blower, but then it sucked in the picture and stuck to her face; she ran around hitting it on the grown, her yelling muffled. "AHHH! Turn it off! Turn it off!"

"That was fun."

"No, Mabel, listen! I’m trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!" she said, wondering just how much she could tell her without mentioning the journal.

Her twin gasped. "You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!"

"No, Mabel I think Norman is a...zombie." she said.

"A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper." her twin frowned.

"I’m not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?" she asked.

"Maybe he’s blinking when you’re blinking. Wait! How do you know about all that? Were youspyingon me?" she asked.

"Um...maybe.."

"DIPPER!"

"Ok, YES! I spied on you but Mabel," she grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "He's gonna eat your brain!"

Mabel pushed her away and looked her straight in the eye. "Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o’clock, and I'm gonna be ADORABLE, and he's gonna be DREAMY," she pushed her out of the room.

"Bu-bu-but-" tried Dipper.

"And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!" she slammed the door in her twin's face.

Dipper sighed and sat down, her back against the door. "What am I gonna do?" she asked herself.

It was 5 o'clock when the doorbell rang and Mabel raced down the stairs, putting on a sweater.

"Coming!" she said and opened the door. "Hey, Norman. How do I look?" she asked showing off her sweater.

"Shiny..." he shrugged.

"You always know what to say!" she walked off with him.

Dipper and Liam were in the living room watching the videos they had made. "Soos was right. I don’t have any real evidence." she said, watching a video that showed Mabel teaching Norman hopscotch, but he fell over.

"Come on! I'm sure there is evidence or my name isn't Liam Murik." he said and took the camera.

"Murik?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah,myeight times great-grandfather was fromDenmark." hefast forwarded to Mabel and Norman with Norman's arm around Mabel.

"Oh, butI guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and-" on the tape, Norman's hand felloff; he glanced around, then reattached it. "Wait, WHAT?!" she screamed and Liam rewound.They watched it again. "I was right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

"You were right!" screamed Liam.

"I was right!" she screamed back. They calmed down, smilingat each other before they realized what that meant. They both raced out the door to where Stan was on a stage in front of a bunch of tourists.

"And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock: the rock that looks like a face." he said.

"Does it look like a rock?" asked a hillbilly.

"No, it looks like a face." he said.

"Is it a face?" asked a fat tourist.

"It’s a rock that looks like a face!" he said, getting irritated.

"Over here! Grunkle Stan!" yelled Dipper.

"Mr. Pines! Mr. Pines!" yelled Liam.

"For the fifth time! It's-it's not an actual face!" yelled Stan.

While all that was happening, Mabel and Norman were in the woods.

"Finally, we’re alone." said Mabel as Norman walked behind her.

"Yes. Alone..." he agreed.

"Stan! Stan!" they yelled. Dipper saw Wendlepull up in a golf cart and ran over to him.

"Dipper?" asked Liam.

"Wendle! Wendle! Wendle!I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!" she yelled and he gave her the keys.

"Try not to hit any pedestrians." he said and walked off.

"Sweet, you got us a ride!" said Liam.

"Yeah, hop in!" she said and got in with the blond. She started driving in reverse but Soos stopped her.

"Dude, it's me: Soos. This is for the zombies." he said giving them a shovel.

"Thanks." said Liam.

"And this is in case you see a piñata." he handed them a baseball bat.

"Uh..." Liam glanced at Dipper for a moment. "Thanks?" they drove off.

"Better safe than sorry!" yelled Soos.

"Uh, Mabel, now that we’ve gotten to know each other, there’s..." exhaled Norman. "...there’s something I should tell you."

"Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything!" she said, chanting 'Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!' in her head.

"All right, just... just don’t freak out, okay? Just... just keep an open mind, be cool!" he unzipeed his coat and threw it off; underneath were five gnomes standing on top of each other. "Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?" spoke the top gnome while she stared at them in complete shock. "R-r-right, I’ll explain. So! We’re gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way."

"Uh..."

"I’m Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and..." he introduced from right to left. "..I’m sorry, I always forget your name." he told the gnome that controlled the left leg.

"Schmebulock." he said and Jeff snapped his fingers.

"Schmebulock! Yes!" Mabel sat down on a rock and face-palmed. "Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?"

"Queen! Queen! Queen!" the other gnomes chanted.

"Heh. So what do you say?" Jeff tappedSteve with his foot, and the gnomes worked together to make 'Norman' kneel in a proposing fashion. "Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri...matri-mo-ny! Blah! Can’t talk today!"

The brunette sucked in a breath. "Look... I'm sorry, guys. You're really sweet, but, I'm a girl, and you're gnomes, and it's like, 'what?'. Yikes..."

"We understand. We'll never forget you, Mabel." the gnomes looked sad and Mabel smiled. "Because we're gonna kidnap you."

"Huh?"

They yelled and jumped at heras she screamed.

Liam and Dipperweredriving down a deserted pathatfull speedwhen Liam put his index finger and thumb in his mouth and loudly whistled.

"What was that for?" she asked and the two wolves ran up to them.

"We're going to save Dipper's twin so donotbite the girl that looks like her. Understood?" he asked and the wolves ran ahead of them. "Gods. I sure as hell hope they understood." he said.

"Don't worry, Mabel! We'll save you from that zombie!" yelled Dipper, hoping that her twin heard.

"HELP!" screamed Mabel.

"Hold on!" yelled Liam and looked around before pointing at a direction. "That way!" he yell and Dipper made a sharp turn to the right. They went through a tunnel made out of trees before reaching Mabel.

"Catch those wolves and don't let the queen leave!" yelled Jeff. The wolves were trying not to bite the gnomes as they protected Mabel.

"What the heckis going on here?!" yelled Dipper as they arrived.

"Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks!" she said and a gnome pulled her hair. "Hair! Hair! Hair!"

"Gnomes? Huh, I was way off." she turned around and took out the journal, turning it to the page about gnomes and read aloud."Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown."

"Aw, come on." groaned Liam next to her. Dipper lowered the book and put it inside her vest. She turned back and sawthat the gnomes had managed to tie Mabel and the wolves to the ground.

"Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!" she walked up to Jeff.

"Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?" he asked her.

"You guys are butt-faces!" she yelled and a gnome covered her mouth. While that was happening Liam went to cut the wolves' ropes as all the gnomes were gathered around Mabel.

"Give her back right now, or else!" she held up the shovel they had brought.

"You think you can stop us, girl? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-" she casually tossed him away with the shovel and ran to cut her twin's ropes with it.

"Yah!" once freeMabel kicked the gnomes away.

"Let's go!" yelledthe blond as they got in the cart.

"They're getting away with our queen! No, no, no!" yelled Jeff.

"Seatbelts!" they buckled up and drove off with the wolves running behind them.

"You've messed with the wrong creatures, girl! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!" Jeff shouted as various gnomes came out of their hiding spots and stacked up.

"Hurry, before they come after us!" said Mabel.

"I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!" said Dipper and stopped the cart as she heard a stomping sound;they looked back and saw a giant gnome made of little ones coming their way.

"Bloody hell." swore Liam.

"All right, teamwork, guys. Like we practiced." said Jeff who was on the top. Using the hats as levers, the gnome growled.

"Move, MOVE!" shouted Mabel and her sister drove the cart away just as the gnomes smashed theirhand down and it broke. The gnomes frantically ran back into position and chased after them.

"Come back with our queen!" demanded Jeff.

"It's getting closer!" shouted Liam. The giant gnome threw several gnomes at the cart that chewed on it and wrecked havoc. Mabel elbowed a gnome off. Shmebulock jumped up behind Dipper, who grabbed him and slammed him into the steering wheel out of annoyance, Liam kicked some of the gnomes off and the wolves ran towards the giant gnome to bite it. A gnome jumped on the cart and started to clawat Dipper's face.

"I'll save you, Dipper!" said Mabel and repeatedly punched the gnomeuntil it fell off with Dipper's hat.

"Thanks, Mabel..." her twin said, dazed from the punches.

"Don't mention it." she said. The giant gnome picked up a tree and threw it towards them.

"Look out!" yelled Mabel. Dipper swiftly turned, making the cart spin before overturning and landing next to the shack. They crawled out of the wreckage as the gnome approached.

"Stay back, man!" said Liam, addingsome of his powerto the shovel, hethrew it at the gnome. When the gnome punched it in mid-air it erupted in flames and burned some of the gnomes.

"Aaahhh!" screeched the gnomes as the arm fell apart. They all heard twin howls and the two wolves jumped at the gnome from the back, biting and clawing. The gnomes turned their attention to the wolves and, with the only hand left, caught them and squeezed hard, making them yelp.

"There's gotta be a way out of this!" said Dipper.

"I gotta do it." said Mabel, taking a step forward.

"What?! Mabel, don't do this! Are you crazy?"

"Trust me." she turned to the gnomes. "All right, Jeff. I'll marry you."

"Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason!" said Jeff and started climbing down. "Thanks, Andy! Alright, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike." when his feet touched the ground he approached Mabel and pulled out a diamond ring. "Eh? Eh?" he put the ring on her outstretched hand. "Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!"

"You may now kiss the bride!" she said, stopping him in his tracks.

"Well, don't mind if I do." he leaned up to kiss her and she took out a leaf blower. "Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?!" he tried to back away and got sucked half-way in.

"That's for lying to me!" she increased the sucking power. "THAT'S for breaking my heart!"

"Ow! My face!" he shouted as he was slowly sucked further.

"And THIS is for messing with my sister!" she aimed at the giant gnome and asked her sister, "Wanna do the honors?"

"On three!"

"One, two, three!" they blasted Jeff towards the gnome monster and watched as it exploded into separate gnomes.

"I'll get you back for this!..." yelled Jeff as he flew off into the distance.

"Who's giving orders? I need orders!"said a gnome.

"My arms are tired." complained another one.

"Anyone else want some?" asked Liam as Mabel moved the leaf blower back and forth, blowing gnomes away. Dipper saw the wolves limp into the forest and grew worried for their well-being. "Don't worry." whispered Liam. "I'll check up on them and treat them if they have any injuries."

After making sure that all the gnomes were gone the twins headed towards the shack and Liam towards the woods. "Hey, Dipper? I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me." apologized Mabel.

"Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there." tried to cheer her up Dipper.

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes."

"Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one will be a vampire!"

"Oh, you're just saying that!" she playfully punched her.

"Awkward sibling hug?" Dipper asked with open arms.

"Awkward sibling hug." they hugged and patted each other. "Pat, pat." they broke the hug and walked into the gift shop where their grunkle was counting the profit money.

"Yeesh. You two get hit by a bus or something? Ahah!" he laughedas they walked away, before they reached the stairs Stan stopped them. "Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?"

"Really?" asked Mabel.

"What's the catch?" folded her arms Dipper.

"The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something." he said and they both looked around. Dipper picked up a blue pine tree hat from one of the shelves and looked in a mirror.

"Hmm. That oughta do the trick!"

"And I will have a..." Mabel grabbed an item from a box, hiding it, she twirled around. "GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!" she pointed it in the air.

"Wouldn't she rather have, like, a doll, or something?" Stan asked Dipper. Mabel fired the grappling hook up at the ceiling; it caught and pulled her up.

"GRAPPLING HOOK!"

"Fair enough!" he said.

The girls were in their room. Dipper was reading a mystery book while Mabel was jumping on the bed. Hearing the grappling hook get fired shelooked up to seeher sister reeling it back with a stuffed animal attached and smiled.

"Hey, Mabel, could you get the light?" she asked, dog-earing the page.

"I'm on it!" she said, firing the grappling hook and knocking the lamp out the window. "It works!" they both laugh before falling asleep.

Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.

In the Mystery Shack exterior, Stan walked in holding a lantern. He went into the gift shop and put a code into the vending machine. The machine opened andhe walked inside, looking from side-to-side before closing it behind himself.

Chapter 2: The Legend of the Gobblewonker

Chapter Text

It was morning in the Mystery Shack. Dipper was wearing a red tank top, blue shorts, brown sneakers and her new pine tree hat. Mabel was wearing a purple sweater with a red heart wearing sunglasses on it, a blue skirt and black sneakers. They were eating breakfast when they decided to have a syrup race. Mabel was racing with 'Sir Syrup' and Dipper was racing with 'Mountie Man'.

"Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?" asked Mabel, shaking the syrup bottle as if it was talking.

"I'm always ready!" answered Dipper, doing the same with her bottle.

"Then you know what this means." said Mabel.

"Syrup Race!" they both yelled, tilting their bottles back and dripping syrup into their mouths.

"Go, Sir Syrup!" yelled Mabel.

"Go, Mountie Man!" yelled Dipper.

"Go! Go!" they chanted.

"Almost...almost." said Mabel and tapped on the bottom of her bottle so that the syrup driped on her tongue. "I won!" she cheered and started coughing. Dipper picked up a magazine called 'Wacky News' and started to read it.

"No way. Hey Mabel, check this out!" she said pointing at a page in the magazine. Mabel came to look at it but an ad on the opposite page caught her eye.

"Human-sized hamster balls?" she gasped. "I'm human-sized!"

"No, no, Mabel. This." she said pointing at a monster contest ad. "We see weirder stuff than that every day. Hey, do we have any photos of those gnomes?" she asked looking at her twin.

"Nope, just memories. And this beard hair." she says, holding up said beard hair.

"Why do you have that?" asked Dipper, looking grossed out and Mabel just shrugged. At that moment came into the kitchen Stan wearing a white tank top, green boxers, dark green slippers and this signature red fez.

"Good morning, knuckleheads. You know what day it is?" he asked them.

"Um... Happy anniversary?" said Dipper unsure.

"Mazel tov!" yelled Mabel, throwing her hands in the air.

"It's Family Fun Day." he says, walking over to the fridge. "We're going to have one of those bonding-type days." he sniffed the milk and put it back into to the fridge.

"Grunkle Stan, is this going to be like our last family bonding day?" asked Dipper skeptically.

*Flashback*

Dipper and Mabel were in the basem*nt making counterfeit money with Stan supervising them.

"You call that Ben Franklin? He looks like a woman!" yelled Stan at Dipper. Suddenly, they heard police sirens. "Uh-oh"

"The county jail was so cold." said Mabel, shuddering at the memory.

"OK, so maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I promise that today we're going to have some real family bonding. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?" asked Stan enthusiastically.

"YAY!" cheered the twins, throwing their hands in the air.

"Wait, what?" asked Dipper just processing what Stan said.

Stan was driving his car with Mabel and Dipper in the backseat, blindfolded. He leaned down to adjust the radio and the tires screeched, making the girls in the back jump.

"Blindfolds never lead to anything good." said Dipper.

"Wow! I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers!" said Mabel, touching her sister's face, making her giggle. The car jumped, making the twins hit the doors.

"Grunkle Stan are you also wearing a blindfold?" asked Dipper and her grunkle laughed.

"Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker?" he asked, driving through a wooden guardrail, the girls screaming. They soon arrived at a lake and the girls were still blindfolded. "You can take the blindfolds off now." said Stan and they took them off ."Ta-da! It's fishing season!" said the elder Pines, behind him was a sign saying 'Fishing Season Opening Today'.

"Fishing?" asked Mabel.

"What are you playing at, old man?" asked Dipper pointing at him.

"You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!" said Stan, turning to the lake and he wasn't lying, the whole town really was there. There was Lazy Susan,who was waving a pan telling the fishes to get in there, Toby Determined,taking a photo of a man who caught a large fish but because of the camera's flash the man fell, and Manly Dan with his sons, teaching them how to catch fish. "That's some family bonding." Stan told the girls.

"Grunkle Stan why do you wanna bond with us all of a sudden?" asked Dipper.

"Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me. They don't 'like' or 'trust' me." he said using air quotes.

"I think he actually wants to fish with us." whispered Mabel to Dipper.

"Hey I know what will cheer you girls up." he said and slapped fishing hats with their names on their heads. "Pines family fishing hats! Those are hand stitched, you know." the girls took them off to examine. Dipper's read 'Dippy' in blue and greenwhile Mabel's had her name but the 'E' was turned over and the letters were in purple and red.

"MABEL!" someone yelled. They all turned to the voice and saw a blond, blue eyed teenage girl jogging to them. She was wearing a pink tank topwith a red unbuttoned plaid shirt over, short shorts and brown fishing boots.

"Lilly!" yelled Mabel happily and they gave each other a hug.

“Uh, Mabel, who is this?" asked Dipper.

"Oh, yeah. Grunkle Stan, Dipper this is Lilly. Lilly, these are my grunkle and sister." said Mabel.

"Nice to meet you." said Lilly happily with a bright smile.

"What are you doing here?" asked Mabel.

"Well,I'm here with-" she was cut of by the yelling of someone. That someone was an old man with long white beard wearing an old brown hat and brown overalls. He was running from the dock and was crashing into and overturning various things. He was yelling about seeing something again and then he started dancing.

"Who is that?" asked Dipper.

"That's Old Man McGucket, he's the local kook." answeredthe blonde. A man went to the old man and started spraying him with a spray bottle.

"Hey, hey! What did I say about scaring my customers? This is your last warning dad!" he exclaimed.

"But I have proof this time, by gummity!" he said and led everyone to the dock where he showed them a destroyed boat. Sheriff Blubs, deputy Durland and and a new policewoman were in a police watercraft next to it. Blubs and Durland were wearing the standard police uniform, which was a light green shirt, dark green pants and black boots. The policewoman had her long brown hair tied in ponytail and was wearing the female version of it, consisting of a green short sleeved shirt, brown shorts and black boots. "Behold! That is the work of the Gobble-dy-wonker! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe and had wrinkly skin like...this gentleman right here!" he said pointing to Stan who was picking his ear. "It chawed my boat up to smitheroons and shim-shammed to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!" he shouted.

"Attention all units! We have ourselves a crazy old man!" said sheriff Blubs to his walkie-talkie. Everyone laughed except the Pines, Lilly, Tate and the new policewoman.

"Aww, donkey spittle! Aww, banjo polish!" said McGucket as he walked away, dejected.

"Well that happened. Now let's untie this boat and go out on that lake!" said Stan getting inside a rowboat.

"Did you heard that?" asked Dipper turning to the other two girls.

"Aww, donkey spittle!" Mabel said, trying to mimic McGucket.

"I don't think she meant that."said the cop to Mabel.

"Uh, who are you?" asked Dipper.

"Oh, Dipper this is my other friend Christina." introduced the brunette.

"Nice to meet you." said Christina and extended her hand for a handshake.

"Nice to meet you too." she shook her hand.

"What did you mean before about what Old Man McGucket said?" asked Christina.

"About the monster. If we can snap a photo of it we can split the prize fifty-fifty!" Dipper said enthusiastically.

"Wait? What prize? We're kinda lost here." said Lilly pointing to herself and Christina.

"Dipper found this ad about a monster photo contest with a huge prize." said happily Mabel.

"Oh, yeah. I've seen that add." said Christina.

"You wanna help us?" asked Dipper.

"Sorry, I have work." said Christina.

"I can help you." said Lilly.

"Shouldn't you be with your family?" questioned Christina, crossing her arms in disapproval.

"Yeah, but Peter is there and you know how much I hate him." explained Lilly.

"Can't argue with that. But what are you girls going to do with all that money?" asked Christina.

"I'm going to buy myself a human-sized hamster ball!" said Mabel proudly, already imagining it.

*Mabel's Imagination*

Mabel was inside a human-sized hamster ball in the gift shop of the Mystery Shack. On the counter was a hamster inside a smaller ball.

"Not so high and mighty anymore!" shetold the hamster who just 'aww'ed. Rolling back and forth while laughing, Mabel crashed through the wall and rolled onto the street. There she met Xyler and Craz, who were waiting for the light to turn green. "Hey boys!" they looked at her. "You can look but you can't touch." she said. When the light turned green she scurried down the street in her ball.

"Awesome!" said Xyler and Craz in union looking at her.

"Ok. But aren't you going to spend time with your grunkle? He looks prettyhappy about this fishing thing."said Christina.

"Nah, he won't mind." said Dipper going to Stan. "Grunkle Stan! Change of plans. We're taking this boat to Scuttlebutt Island and we're going to find that monster!" she said excitedly.

"Monster hunt! Monster hunt!" started chanting Dipper, Mabel and Lilly. There was a large honking sound and Soos pulled up his boat.

"Hey dudes! What's this about a monster hunt?" he asked.

"Soos!" yelled Mabel.

"Wassup, hambone!" said Soos. He and Mabel fist bumped and made explosion noises. "Dude, you can totally use my boat for the hunt. It has a steering wheel, chairs. Normal boat stuff."

"All right, all right, let's think this through. You girls can go on some epic monster finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your great uncle Stan!" said Stan. The girls look at Soos in his boat where hewas doing a robot dance then they look at Stan in his leaky old boat and he sniffed his armpit. They then look at the island in the distance and grinned at each other.

"So whaddaya say?" he asked and the response he got was the noise of Soos's boat driving off, leaving him behind. "Ingrates! Aw, who needs 'em. I've got a full box of creepy fishing lures to keep me company." after a moment of looking at the lures with flies buzzing around them he cringed and closed the box. Christina just shook her head and walked away.

They were heading for the island. Dipper was standing on the stern of the boat with her foot on the guardrail, adjusting the visor of her cap. "Hoist the anchor!"she yelled and Soos pulled up a cinder block anchor. "Raise the flag!" she yelled again and Mabel held up a beach towel.

"We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" yelled Mabel.

"And we're gonna win that photo contest!" added Dipper.

"Do any of you girls have sunscreen?" asked Soos.

"I do." said Lilly, holding up a bottle of sunscreen.

Ten minutes later, Dipper was pacing in front of the others.

"Alright, if we wanna win this contest we have to do it right! Think. What's the biggest problem with most monster hunts?" she asked.

"Being a side character who dies in the first five minutes. Dude, am I side character? Did you think about that?" asked Soos panicking.

"No, no. Camera troubles. Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, act like Bigfoot." said Dipper and Soos strucka Bigfoot pose. "There he is! Bigfoot!" she said in a mock acting voice and started patting her vest. "Oh no, no camera." she pulled a camera out of her vest. "Wait, here's one! Aw, no film!" she said andwent back to her normal voice. "You see? You see what I'm doing here?"

"She's got a point." said Lilly.

"That's why I bought twenty-one disposable cameras!" she said and started listing off their locations. "Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag and one under my hat! There's no way we're going to miss this! Ok, let's test our cameras now." she said. Soos took a picture of himself but the flash startled him and he threw the camera. "See, that's why we need backup cameras. We still have twenty more!"

"Ah, bird!" yelled Mabel throwing a camera at it.

"Ok, I repeat; don't lose your cameras." she said, already starting to get stressed out.

"Wait? Lose the cameras?" asked Soos.

"DON'T!" yelled Dipper.

"Dude, I just threw two away." he said pointing at the cameras in the water.

"Seventeen! Alright we have seventeen camera-" she accidentally crushed one with her fist. "Sixteen. We have sixteen cameras."

"So what's the plan? Throw more cameras overboard or what?" asked Mabel ready to throw cameras.

"That's not the plan, Mabel. We're gonna use these cameras to take photos of the monster." explained the teen.

"Thank you Lilly, at least someone knows the plan." said Dipper, relaxing. "Ok. Mabel will can be on lookout, Soos will work the steering wheel, Lilly will be the first mate and I'll be captain."

"What why do you get to be captain? What about Mabel, huh? Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel!" she started chanting.

"It's best if Dipper is captain Mabel. She is the most responsible of us." said Lilly.

"Aww, fine." Mabel pouted.

"Ok guys. Our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this." Dipper gestured to a barrel with fish good.

"Permission to taste it?" asked Soos.

"...Granted." said Dipper. Hearing that Soos licked some, gagged and wiped his tongue, coughing.

"Dude, I don't know what I was expecting that to taste like!" said Soos while the girls laughed.

Stan was holding a fishing rod and watching over his shoulder as Soos and the girls laughed. "Traitors! I'll find myself new fishing buddies!" looking aroundhespoted a couple up ahead. "Ah! There's my new fishing buddies!" he said, starting his engine.

The man was turned away from the woman and was looking at a diamond ring inside a velvet box. Taking a breath he turned to her. "Now that we're alone Rosanna, there's a burning question which my heart longs to ask you."

"Oh, Reginald!" exclaimed Rosanna, tearing up.

"Hey!" interrupted Stan, pulling his boat up to theirs. "Wanna hear a joke?" he asked. After neither of them said anything Stan told the joke. "Here goes. My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better!" he paused. "Her aim is gettin' better!" another pause. "Y'see, it's because marriage is terrible." he explained and the couple rowed away. "What?" he yelled.

They were approachingthe surroundedby fog island. Soos and Lilly were at the back of the boat shoveling fish food over the side, while Dipper and Mabel were at the front. Dipper was trying to see through the fog while Mabel was playing ventriloquist with a pelican.

"Hey! How's it going?" she asked then changed her voice and moved the pelican's beak. "It's going awesome! Bow bow, buh bow bow!"

"Mabel, leave that thing alone." said Dipper, putting her hands on her hips.

"Aw, I don't mind." she said in the pelican voice. "Hey look, I'm drinking water." she said and started drinking water while moving the pelican's mouth. "Twinkle, twinkle little-" she tried to sing but choked and started coughing as the pelican flew away.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?" Dipper asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Look out!" Mabelthrew a volleyball at her twin who fortunately dodged. "Heh, heh. But seriously, I'm on it." she said and the boat crashed on the shore. "See I'm a lookout genius! Hamster ball, here we come!" the foursome disembarked and ventured into the foggy forest with Dipper in the lead, carrying a lantern. They soon come across a sign nailed to a tree that said 'Scuttlebutt Island'. Mabel and Soos stopped in front of it.

"Dude, check it out. Butt Island." he said, covering the Scuttle part, and they both laugh.

"Soos, you rapscallion." she said and turned to Dipper and Lilly. "Hey! Why aren't you laughing? Are you scared?" she teased.

"It just isn't funny to us." said Lilly and Dipper nodded in agreement. There was a growling sound in the distance and they all looked around. "Did you guys hear that?" asked Lilly, sounding scared.

"Was that your stomach?" Mabel asked Soos.

"Nah. My stomach makes whale sounds." he said. Mabel put her head on his stomach and heard the whale sounds.

"So majestic." she whispered.

An opossum jumped out of some bushes and took the lantern from Dipper, running away.

"Our lantern! Aww, I can't see anything." said Dipper.

"I don't know girls. Maybe this isn't worth it." said Soos sounding distress.

"Not worth it! Guys, imagine what we could do with that prize!"the brunette said.

*Dipper's Imagination*

Dipper was being interviewed on a talk show by Charlie, who had grey hair, a dark grey mustache and was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a blue tie. The stage was big with a purple background, a big TV screen, wooden floor, three velvet armchairs that were slightly turned to the audience, and a glass coffee table between them. She was dressed like a female version of Indiana Johns and Liam was dressed similarly. She was sitting on one of the chairs with Henry sitting on her right, Liam on her left and Rex on his left.

"Tonight we're here with adventure seekers Dipper Pinesand Liam Murik and their two loyal wolves, who photographed the Gobblewonker. Tell us Dipper, what is the secret to your success?" asked Charlie leaning forward.

"Well, I run away from nothing." she sipped from her coffee and an embarrassing photo of Stan scratching his butt appearedon the TV screen. "Nothing except the time I ditched my grunkle in order to pursue that lake monster."nshe said.

"How right were you to do so. He looked like a real piece of work. I don't often do this but I feel the need to give you a reward!" he gave her a medal and they all smiled as paparazzi took photos.

"I'm in!" said Dipper smiling.

"Me too!" said Mabel.

"Me three!" said Lilly and they ran off, leaving Soos behind.

"Alright girls, I'm coming." he yelled and chased after them.

They had been walking for walking for a while now, Dipper and Lilly had their cameras ready and were focused while Soos and Mabel were beat boxing.

"My name is Mabel
It rimes with table!
It also rimes with...glabel!
It also rimes with...shmabel!" she sang.

"Dude, we should be writing this down." said Soos.

"Did you guys hear that?" askedthe blonde and the growling noise from earlier was heard as a flock of birds flew overhead, away from the sound.

"This is it! This is it!" said Dipper as she and her twin started punching each other excitedly and headed towards the sound. Soos and Lilly grabbed sticks and followed the twins. As they walked through the fog Lilly stopped the group as she spotted a lake monster silhouette. They all ducked behind a nearby log and Dipper turned to them.

"Everyone, get your cameras ready." she instructed and they all turned on their cameras.

"Ready? GO!" she said and Soos, yelling, jumped over the log, holding the camera in front of his face, andran towards the silhouette, snapping photos at random. The girls followed him but as they got closer the silhouette turned out to be just a boat wreck with beavers living on it. The beavers didn't seem to notice them and continued with what they were doing.

"But...but, what was that noise then? I heard a monster noise!" said Dipper disappointed. The monster noise was heard again and on their left they saw a beaver chewing on a rusty old chainsaw, starting it on a log.

"How cute! A beaver with a chainsaw." said Lilly taking a picture of it.

"Maybe that old guy was crazy after all." said Dipper.

"He did use the word 'scrapdoodle'." agreed Mabel, also disappointed.

"Look, when you're threadin' the line-a lot of people don't know this-but you wanna use a barrel knot."Stan explained. "That's a secret from one fishing buddy to another! Heh heh." he whispered, nudging a chubbyboy with his elbow.

"Uh, I, uh, who are you, exactly?" the boy asked, clearly uncomfortable.

"Just call me your GRUNKLE STAN!" he said.

"Sir, sir, sir! Why are you talking to our son? If you don't leave now I'm calling the police!" chastisedthe kid's angry mother, with the equally mad father behind her.

"Ha, ha, you see, the thing about that is..." he quickly started his motor and sped away.

"Go bother your own kids!" yelled the mother.

"Ooh, yeah! Work it! Work it! Nice! Nice! Gimme another one of those! Yeah, I like that one." said Soos as he and Lilly took photos of a beaver posing on a stump.

"What are we going to say to grunkle Stan? We ditched him for nothing." asked Dipper. The rock which she was sitting on shook. "Hey... guys. Do you feel that?" she asked and the rock suddenly sank. Dipper quickly swam to shore where Lilly helped her get out of the water. They all saw the Gobblewonker's silhouette swim away.

"This is it! This is our chance!" said Dipper as she took photos of it. "Come on!" she turned to the others but they backed away. "What's wrong with you guys?" she asked, co*cking her head to the side. The monster's silhouette swam back towards the island and began to rise behind her.

"Dipper..." said Lilly.

"Dude..." said Soos. Fear was evident on their faces but Dipper just raised a brow.

"It's not that hard, all right? All you gotta do is point and shoot. Like this!" she turned around and aimed the camera at the Gobblewonker only to realise itwas right in front of her. It roared causing her to drop the camera and the four to ran away. It pushed a tree which almost hit the twins but Dipper lunged at Mabel and they rolled out of the way. They continue to run, dodging falling trees and eventually catching up with Soos and Lilly.

"Get back to the boat! HURRY!" yelled the handyman. The monsters snapped it's jaws at Mabel and she jumped onto Soos's back. Dipper aimed her camera at it but tripped over a root and dropped it.

"The picture!" she said and turnedto run to the camera but Lilly grabbed her.

"It's not worth it!" she yelled. The group ran towards the boat and Soos helped the girls get on before pushingthe boat into the water. He climbed on himself just as the monster got closer.

"Let's get outta here!" said Lily as she drove the boat backwards.

"All right! This is it! Cracked lens?! Soos! Get a photo!" said Dipper holding a camera. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" she yelled, seeing him throwing the cameras at the monster.

"Oh! I still got one left! Don't worry, dude!" he threw the camera to Dipper but missed, hitting the wall and breaking the device. The monster dove into the water and chased the gang. Lilly quickly stirred the boat forward and drove away from it.

"Lilly, give me your cameras!" said Dipper.

"Sorry Dipper, I dropped them when it started chasing us."

"Er, ugh, gah! Mollycoddling..."Stan said, struggling to tie a knot.

"Can you pwease tell me mo'e funny stories, Pop Pop?" asked a little girl a few meters away in a boat with her brother and grandpa.

"Anything for my fishing buddies!" said the grandpa and patted both children on the head while Stan growled.

"Pop Pop? I just weewized dat...I wuv you." said the little boy.

"Aw, come on! Boo! Boo!" boo'ed Stan, clearly envious.

"Hey, now! What's the big idea?" asked the grandpa standing up.

"Maybe he has no one who wuvs him, Pop Pop." said the little boy.

"Yeah, well, I... I..." started Stan but the S.S.COOL DUDE drove past him with the monster hot on its heels, soaking Stan in the process. He threw his hat to the ground in frustration, then sat down and sighed.

The they were back at ScuttlebuttIsland with the monster getting closer to them.

"LILLY! BEAVERS!" yelled Dipper. The boat crashedthrough the old broken boat and beavers flew everywhere. The beavers landed on the boat, biting it and its crew. Two beavers were biting Dipper's hat, Mabel was able to shake a beaver off of her arm and a beaver was on Soos' face. Dipper tried to dislodge a beaver from the side of the boat while Soos ran in circles, crying out in pain from the beaver still on his face. Dipper threw beavers towards the Gobblewonker who dove and continued to chase them under the water. The S.S.COOL DUDE sailedthrough the areawith people fishing, who were overturned by the monster behind them. It swiped at the boat and managed to knock the control cabin off.

"Aah! Look out!" screamed Mabel, pointing ahead where two men were transporting a glass sheet by boat.

"Easy...Easy..." said the man with the blond hair and mustache. The boat drove through it, breaking it.

"My glass!" yelled the other man.

"WHERE DO I GO?!" asked Lilly. In front of them was a waterfall and the twins looked around. Dipper turned her back to them, took out the journal and flipped through the pages.

"Um... uh... GO INTO THE FALLS! I think there might be a cave behind there!" she said and put it back.

"MIGHT BE?!" the blonde asked. They all screamed and covered their eyes as the boat went through the waterfall and into cave behind. Their boat crashed, sending them into the dirt. They all stood up and turned around to see the Gobblewonker swimming in after them but got stuck in the cave entrance.

"It's stuck!" said Mabel.

"Ha ha! Yeah! Wait...It's stuck?" asked Dipper and tried to find a camera but had none. Mabel lifted her sister's hat and revealed her last camera. Dipper laughed and took photos of the monster.

"Didja get a good one?" asked Mabel.

"THEY'RE ALL GOOD ONES!" she said and hugged her.

"Woo! Hamster ball!"the brunette cheered. The Gobblewonker, still roaring, got hit by a rock. Its head fell down with an electric noise.

"What the...?"Dipper murmured and walked up to it. She touched its side but pulled back as if it burned her.

"What's wrong?" asked Lilly. Dipper stepped on the Gobblewonker and knocked on it. It made a hollow metallic sound and she climbed up.

"Careful, dude!"

"I've got this! Hold on!" she said as she climbed over it, then popped up from the other side. "Hey, guys! Come check this out!" she yelled, waving at them. They discovered a trapdoor with a handle and turned it, causing steam to come out. As they opened the trapdoor more steam came out, revealing old man McGucket inside controlling the machine.

"Work the bellows and the...Eh? Aww, banjo polish!" he looked at them over his shoulder.

"Wha- Yo- You?! You made this? W-w-why?" asked Dipper.

"Well, I... I, uh... I just wanted attention." he said, as if he was a child being scolded by his parents.

"I still don't understand."

"Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma beard!" he explained.

"Okay, yeah. But why did you do it?" asked Mabel.

"Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore. My own son hasn't visited me in months! So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robot!" he said and laughed like a maniac. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family." he said and the twins took out their fishing hats.

"Dude. I guess the real lake monster is you two. Heh, heh! Sorry, that just like-boom-just popped into my head there." he said, Lilly glared at him.

"So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?" asked Lilly.

"No, ma'am, I got to work straight on the robot." he said and a projector showed blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor. "I made lots of robots in my day!" he said, pushing a button and the projector showed a newspaper clip with a robot pterodactyl breathing fire on a town and the word 'CHAOS'. "Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron," he pushed the button again and the projector showed a picture of a man. "or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party," he pushed the button again and the projector showed another newspaper with a large robot terrorizing a town and the word 'DISASTER'. "and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!" he laughed like a maniac again. "Well, time to get back to work on my death ray!" he ducked into the Gobblewonker and construction noises were heard from inside. He raised hand in a grabbing motion. "Any of you kids got a screwdriver?" he asked.

"Well, so much for the photo contest." said Dipper in disappointment .

"You still have one roll of film left." said Lilly.

"Whaddaya wanna do with it?" she asked hertwin.

Stan was driving towards the shore looking defeated and sighed.

"Hey! Over here!" said Dipper. Soos drove by on the beat-up S.S.COOL DUDE and both boats stopped. Dipper then took a photo of him.

"What the-Kids? I thought you two were off playing 'Spin the Bottle' with Soos and that blond chick! Where is she by the way?" he asked.

"We left her off with her family." said Soos.

"And while we spent all day trying to find a 'legendary' dinosaur." started Dipper.

"We realized, the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here." finished her sister.

"Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time withoutcha'! Makin' friends, talkin' to my reflection-I had a run-in with the lake police and I met that other girl, Christina. Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun." he showed it to them.

"So... I guess there isn't room in that boat for three more?" asked Dipper and Stan glared at them. They put on their fishing hats and his expression softened.

"You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?" he asked.

"Five bucks says you can't do it!" betted Dipper.

"You're on!" he accepted and she climbed on Stan o' War.

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!" said Mabel.

"I like those odds!" he said as Mabel and Soos climbed on. "Whoa! What happened to your shirt?" he asked, seeing Soos shirtless.

"Long story, dude." he said.

"All right, everybody get together. Say fishing!" said Dipper.

"Fishing." they said. Mabel was in the middle, Stan was leaning down on her left and Soos was on her right but only his belly was in the frame.

"Dude, am I in the frame?" he asked and Dipper took the picture. They took many more pictures, such as: A picture of Mabel covering Stan's eyes while he peeked and tried to thread a hook; Stan reading jokes while Mabel and Soos laughed; Dipper holding her first fish; Stan posing with his hand in his vest; Stan and Mabel stealing fish from the little girl from before and her grandfather; Dipper, Mabel and Stan driving away from the lake police with Christina smiling and waving.

At the end of the day when they were driving to the shore the boat seemed to hit something.

"Whoa!" said Mabel.

"What was that?" asked Dipper and her sister shrugged. Little did they know that underwater a disposable camera sank and the real Gobblewonker swam by and ate it.

Chapter 3: Headhunters

Chapter Text

Dipper and Mabel were in the living room watching a show on TV called Duck-tective. The show featured a constable and a detective, who was a duck, standing next to a telephone booth that had limbs of an unseen victim sticking out. While watching the television program Mabel was knitting a new sweater and Dipper was eating popcorn from a bowl. Mabel reached for some popcorn but her twin slapped her hand.

"I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence and this is obviously an accident."said the constable gesturing to the telephone booth.

"An accident, constable? Or is it...Murder?!"read the subtitles as the duck quacked.

"What?!"asked the shocked constable.

"Duck-tective will return after these messages."said the TV announcer and Mabel gasped.

"That duck is a genius!" she said. She was wearing a turquoise sweater with a strawberry design, a pink skirt, a turquoise headband and black sneakers.

"Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground." said Dipper not very impressed. She was wearing black shorts, a white shirt with the words 'I may be wrong but I dough it' in black, black sneakers with white soles and her pine tree hat.

"Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?" challenged her sister, squinting at her doubtfully.

"Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating.." she sniffed her breath and raised both eyebrows."...an entire tube of toothpaste?!"

"It was so sparkly..." said Mabel and Soos ran in.

"Hey, girls, you'll never guess what I found!" he said excitedly.

"Buried treasure!" said Dipper.

"Buried-Hey, I was going to say that!" said Mabel, punching her twin playfully. They both followed Soos down an old hallway filled with spider webs and covered in dust.

"So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!" he explained and opened the door. The room was dark and filled with wax sculptures.

"Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!" said Dipper amazed, shining her flashlight around.

"They're so life-like." said Mabel touching a wax Sherlock Holmes.

"Except this one." said Dipper pointing at Stan.

"Hello." he said and everyone screamed in surprise. "It's me, your grunkle Stan." he chuckled and they ran away, screaming in fright. Aftercalming down they returned to the room and Stan started explaining. "Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions...before I forgot all about it. I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes," he looked at a wax Larry King. "some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"

"Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" asked Dipper shuddering.

"And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over-" he looked at the melted glob of wax on the floor, which was under sunlight from the window above it. "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!" he said and bent down to touch the wax. "How do you fix a wax figure?" he asked no one in particular.

"Cheer up, Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?" asked Mabel and was answered with an 'egh'. "Beep, bop, boop!" she cheerfully poked his face.

"Ow." he said after she poked him in the eye.

"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!"

"You really think you can make one of these puppies?" he asked her doubtfully.

"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" she said, lifting her right arm where a glue gun was stuck and proceeded to shake her arm.

"I like your gumption, kid!" he said after thinking for a bit.

"I don't know what that word means, but thank you!"

It was the afternoon and Mabel was in an empty room in the shack. She was drawing in her sketch book, wearing an apron over her sweater and a beret, in front of her there was a big wax cube ready to be sculptured. Dipper was drinking soda and walking towards her twin to see what she was doing.

"Dipper!" Mabel yelled, startling her and making her choke on the soda. "What do you think of my wax figure idea? She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!" she explained showing her her sketch. The sketch was of a blonde woman wearing a pink dress and pink high heels, holding in her left hand a magic wand. She had a brown horse head sticking out of her stomach and the horse body started where her butt was supposed to be.

"M-maybe you should carve something from real life." Dipper suggested.

"Like a waffle, with big arms!" Mabel said and showed her a sketch of an angry waffle with big muscular arms.

"Y-okay... Or, you know, something else. Like-like someone in your family." she suggested again. Then Stan came in wearing only the top half of his suit, red fez, green striped boxers and green sleepers.

"Kids, have you seen my pants?" he asked, posing on a briefcase.

Mabel turned around, her eyes wide. "Oh, muse. You work in mysterious ways."she said looking up.

"Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?" he asked Dipper.

For the next few hours Mabel worked nonstop; sculpting, painting and adding touches here and there. The next morning Soos and Dippercame to see her work.

"I think... it needs more glitter." the brunette said after a while.

"Agreed." said Soos, handing her a bucket of glitterthat she tossed onto the sculpture.

"I found my pants but now I'm missing my-" Stan walked into the room in his suit and fez but missing his shoes. He fell back when he noticed the sculpture .

"What do you think?" the artist asked.

"I think... the Wax Museum's back in business!" he grinned.

At noon Soos was leading people to see the grand opening of the Wax Museum while Dipper was working in the stand with Wendle.

"I can't believe this many people showed up." she said in astonishment.

"I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something." he said.

"He bribed me." she held up a dollar and he did the same.

"Hey Dipper!" Lilly called and Dipper turned her way. She was wearing a baby blue strapless dress, blue heels and a blue headband. "It's good to see you again."

"I was about to say the same thing." Dipper said, smiling. "Where is Christina? Isn't she coming?" she looked around.

"Unfortunately no. She has some work to do and my boyfriend also can't come because something came up." frowned the blonde.

"Well, you better go find yourself a seat because they're starting soon." said Dipper and she nodded. Paying the fee, she wentto find a seat. Just like Dipper had said, Stan soon went to the podium and cleared his throat before he started talking.

"You all know me, folks! Town darling, 'Mr. Mystery'. Please, ladies, control yourselves!" he said which was completely unnecessary as the women just blankly stared. "As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me!" he uncovered wax Stan and Soos made a fanfare sound on his keyboard, then made a 'Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!' sound as three people from the audience clapped politely. "And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!" he said, giving his great-niece the microphone.

"It's Mabel. Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!" she said happily and the audience made disgusted sounds. "Yeah. I will now take questions! You there!" she pointed at McGucket.

"Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?" he asked completely serious.

"Um... Yes! Next question!" she pointed at Toby Determined.

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?" he asked, holding up a turkey baster as if it were a microphone.

"Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby. Next question." said Stan and pointed to Shandra Jimenez.

"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter." she side-eyed the other reporter. "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?" sheheld up a flyer that said free pizza. The audience agreed and Stan began to sweat.

"That was a typo. Good night, everyone!" he used a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fee with him. The audience began to leave, some were sad because there was no pizza while others were angry, like Manly Dan who punched and broke a pole.

"Well... that went well." Lilly said sarcastically to Mabel.

"I know." she said making the teen think that she didn't catch her sarcasm. Lilly's phone rang and she answered it. After listening to the person on the other line talk she answered with an 'okay' and hung up with a groan. "Who was that?" asked Mabel.

"That was my mum, she wants me to go and bail my brother out of jail again." she said.

"WOAH! YOUR BROTHER'S IN JAIL!?" Mabel yelled, gaining the attention of her twin and Wendle.

"Who's in jail?" asked Wendle.

"My brother."

"I didn't know you had a brother." said Dipper.

"Yeah, we aren't on good terms so I don't talk about him." she said with a shrug. "Plus goes toFreewolf Institute and I don't see him much. Anyway I gotta go or else he won't stop complaining on the way back." she waved them goodbye and left.

"Well, I also gotta leave. Bye guys." said Wendle as he also left.

In the evening, the Pines family and wax Stan were in the living room. Stan was counting the money he got while Mabel was cleaning Wax Stan, who was leaning on the armchair, and Dipper was sitting on the dinosaur skull reading a book.

"Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person, this guy!" he gestured to Wax Stan. Mabel jokingly punched his stomach making it jiggle and he noogied her. "Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!" heshooed the girls upstairs. "Kids." he sighed.

"Well, duck-tective, it seems you've really quacked the case."theconstable told the detective.

"Don't patronize me."said the duck and Stan laughed.

"Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john. You need anything?" he asked the figure and laughed whenit didn't answer. "I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere." he said and left the room.

The girls were in the bathroom brushing their teeth. Dipper was standing in front of the mirror in white shorts and white tank top with the Eiffel Tower on it, while Mabel was sitting on the rim of the bathtub in a purple oversized shirt with a floppy disk.

"Dipper, you wanna do a toothbrush race?" suggestedMabel.

"Sure."

"No... No... Noooooo!" screamed their grunkle. They looked at each other and ran downstairs. When they got there Stan was shaking. "Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered!" hepointed at the wax figure, which was laying on the floor, headless. The clock bonged three times, Mabel fainted and Dipper caught her.

Sheriff Blubs, Deputy Durland and Christina were in the living room where Stan was explaining the situation. The sheriff was sipping from his coffee and listening to the explanation while Durland wrote it down and Christina rubbed circles on Mabel's back.

"I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!" he said.

"My expert handcrafting... besmirched. Besmiiiirrrched!" said Mabel and started to cry.

"Who would do something like this?" questioned Dipper.

"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?" asked Christina.

"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts...this case is unsolvable." he said.

"WHAT?!" yelled the Pines family.

"You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!" yelled Stan.

"You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want." suggested Dipper.

"She's really good. She figured out who was eating our tin cans!" said Mabel.

"All signs pointed to the goat."

"Yeah, yeah! Let the girl help. She's got a little brain up in her head." said Stan.

"Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City girl thinks she's gonna solve a mystery with her fancy computer phone!" chuckled the sheriff.

"City giiiiiirl! City giiiiiiiiirl!" hollered the deputy.

"You are adorable!" said the sheriff.

"Adorable?" she asked, frowning.

"Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?" he asked.

"Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!"said a man over Blub's walkie talkie.

"It's a 23-16!" said Durland.

"Let's go!" said Bubs and they left.

"That's it! Mabel, you and me are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable." she sneezed.

"Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!" said her twin and Dipper glared at her.

The next morning the twins were in the living room, studying the crime scene. Mabel was wearing a turquoise sweater with a white flower on it, a white skirt, black sneakers and a light blue headband. Dipper was wearing a black t-shirt with the words 'Trust me I'm a detective' in white, blue shorts, black sneakers and her signature pine tree hat.

"Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it." said Dipper as Mabeltook pictures of the 'victim'. "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling." shelooked at the bulletin board with pictures of suspects. "The murderer could have been anyone."

"Even us!" said Mabel.

"I doubt it but it might take us a while before finding a clue."

"Hey, look! A clue." Mabel pointed at footprints.

"Footprints in the shag carpet!"

"That's weird. They've got a hole in them."

"And they're leading to..." they followed the trail and found an ax behind the armchair. They both gasped and looked at each other. Taking the ax, they wentto the shop where they saw Soos and gave it to him to examine.

"So,what do you think?" Dipper asked.

"In my opinion: this is an ax." he handed it back.

"Wait a minute. The lumberjack!" gasped Mabel.

"Of course!" they both remembered how Manly Dan punched and brokethe pole the day before.

"He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza." said Dipper.

"Furious enough for murder!" continued Mabel, shaking her fist.

"Oh, you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown." Soos said with a smile.

"Then that's where we're going." said Mabel, narrowing her eyes.

"Dude, this is awesome. You two are like: The Mystery Twins!" he said.

"Don't call us that." said Dipper, frowning, and put the ax in her backpack. She and her sister walked outside where they saw their grunkle pulling a coffin out of his car.

"Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy." hepulled it out.

"Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we have got a big break in the case!" said Dipper.

"Break in the case!" repeated Mabel.

"We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer." said Dipper.

"We have an ax!" said her twin, pulling it out of her sister's bag and started making horror movie screeching sounds.

"Hm, it seem like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do... Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!!" he yelled as the girls ran towards the town.

The girls were sneaking behind the 'Skull Fracture'. Dipper checked a note with the address making sure they were in the right place. "This is the place." she said and they both looked at the entrance where a large, muscular thug with dark skin and many tattoos stood. On his forehead there was a tattoo that said 'HEAD', on his chin there was a tattoo that said 'CHIN' and on the back of his neck there was one that said 'NECK'. He also had a tattoo on his shoulder that said 'Over The Shoulder', one that said 'No ♥ for U' and another of a swirling square. He wore a white singlet tucked into a pair of blue jeans with a black and gold belt where a chain came out of his jeans pocket and pair of black boots. They both gasped and hid when he looked at their direction. "Got the fake IDs?" she asked and her sister her gave one. Looking at the IDs she sighed. "Here goes nothing." she said and they both walked towards the entrance.

"Sorry, but we don't serve miners." the bouncertoldthe miner.

"Daaaannnnng'nab it!" said the miner. He spat and walked away and the girls walked up to the bouncer.

"We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan." said Mabel as they both showed their obviously fake ID cards.

"Works for me." he shrugged and opened the door for them. Inside men are fighting and Dipper motioned for her sister to follow her.

"He's resting." Mabel said when she saw a body lying on the floor.

"Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?" Dipper told her.

"You got it, Dippingsauce." she climbed onto a chair and started talking to a biker. "Hey there, fellow restaurant patron! Bap!" she patted his arm and he growled.

Manly Dan was playing a wrestling game when Dipper walked up to him.

"Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see. Where were you last night?" she questioned.

"Punchin' the clock." he groaned.

"You were at work."

"No, I was punchin' that clock!" he pointed to the broken clock outside.

"10 o'clock, the time of the murder. So, I guess you've never seen this before?" she asked, showing him the ax.

"Listen little girl! I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!" he ripped the machine's arm off and proceeds to beat the machine with it.

"Get 'im! Get 'im!" giggled Tyler Cutebiker.

"Left handed... " sherepeated and went to Mabel, who was looking at a cootie catcher with the biker as shecounted off.

"3, 4, 5, 6." Mabel gasped. "Your wife is gonna be beautiful.".

"Yes!" he said, pumping his arm.

"Mabel, big break in the case!" she told her and they both left.

"But will she love me?!" the biker called.

Thesisters were walking down the street as Dipper explained what she found out andwhile writing something on her notepad.

"It's a left handed ax." shestated and showed her a suspect list. The names Manly Dan, Old Man McGucket, That Fat Guy, Angry Lady, Mikey R., Uncle Phil, Susie, Lilly and Toby Determined were written, and across theme there were two column. Over the first one was written 'left' and over the second 'right'. "These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer." sheexplained, checking 'right' across Dan's name.

"Wait, you suspect Lilly?" asked Mabel, frowning.

"Well, yeah. She could have murdered him."

"Well I don't think she did it." said Mabel, crossing her arms.

"I can't believe you actually did that!" yelled a familiar voice. The twins saw that a few meters ahead of them stood Lilly and and a brown haired man.

"Oh, don't give me that crap Lillia. You've known me long enough to know that I would totally do that kind of sh*t." the man said. He was wearing a white Henley, dark blue jeans and white converse.

"Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that it's wrong!" she said. She was wearing a denim dress reaching her knees and denim high heel boots.

"And it also doesn't change the fact that it's fun! Don't be such a bit-" Lilly slapped her right hand over his mouth when she noticed the two sisters.

"Hi guys!" she smiled, her hand still over the man's mouth, who seemed quite annoyed by this.

"Hi!"greeted Mabel.

"You're right-handed?" asked Dipper.

"Yes?" she said and Dipped checked 'right'. "Why do you ask?"

"We're trying to solve Wax Stan's murder." answered Mabel.

"And why did you need to know my dominant hand?"t he blonde raised an eyebrow.

"Because the murder weapon was a left-handed ax." this time Dipper answered and the man started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" asked Lilly, removing her hand.

"Oh man, haha, this-this is priceless, haha, you are a suspect in a murder! What happened to Ms.Goody Two Shoes? Hahaha." he wiped a tear out of the corner of his eye.

"SHUT UP!" she yelled at him but he continued laughing.

"Hey! It's not nice to laugh at other people." scowled Mabel.

"Oh, oh! A 10 year old is sticking up for you!" he laughed even harder.

"Leave him be Mabel, but even if I was left-handed I couldn't have done it." said Lilly.

"Why do you say that?" askedthe brunette.

"Chrisy called me last night about it andtold me that it happened at midnightand I was still driving to where this idiot was to bail him. We arrived home at 1am." she explained and Dipper nodded.

"That leaves only seven people." Dipper looked at the list.

"Then let's split." said the man and the girls look at him.

"Split?" asked Mabel.

"Yeah, spilt. You and Goody Two Shoes take three suspects while we take the other four." he put his arm around Dipper's shoulders, making her feel uncomfortable.

"Deal." said Lilly before either of the sisters could answer.

"Great!" he took the notepad and split the list in half, giving one half to Lilly and Mabel. "Have fun." he said. Lillia took their half and started pulling Mabel, leaving Dipper and the man behind. They watched them walk away before the man pulled her the other direction. "What a bitch." he said and Dipper looked at him, just noticing hisice blue eyes. "She just left you with me despite the fact that I've been multiple times in jail." he said and looked at her. "I'm Peter by the way."

"... Dipper.."

"So you're the new Yellow Wolf." he said.

"What?"

"The Yellow Wolf, you know. Mind manipulation, insanity, future ruler of the Mindscape? You have two wolves named Henry and Rex?"

"That's what I'm called? I'm still new to this. I had just recently met the wolves and Liam." she said.

"The half vampire? Wow, and I'm guessing he hasn't explained anything to you yet?"

"No, but he's going to teach me the spell with the phoenix."

"Ah, the beginners spell. Well, if he's going to teach you magic I'll teach you the history of the Wolf family, but enough about thatlet's get started with those suspects or else Lillia won't stop bitching later."

"By the way, what's your relationship with her?"

"She's my annoying little sister. Who's first on the list?" he looked at the paper.

"It's Mikey R."

"Ok, I know where he lives." he said. He led her to an ordinary lookinghouse and they knocked on the door only to find that he had both of his arms in casts. Dipper crossed his name out and they went to Susie who was jogging in the park. Peter called her name and Susie waved at him with her right hand, continuing to jog. "Ok that's everyone!" he said proudly.

"But we haven't met uncle Phil!" argued Dipper.

" He's right handed and it couldn't have been him because he went on a fishing trip yesterday around 5." he told her.

"Then the only one left is... Toby Determined!" she said.

"That's our guy, he's left handed."

"We gotta call Mabel and Lilly and tell them about this!" she grinned.

"Ok, but how about this: we have lunch first then call them."

"Well... sure, I am hungry." she said and his grin widened.

They both went to Greasy's diner and sat in a booth.

"So what do you want?" he asked her, looking at the menu.

"Mmm, not sure. What about you?"

"Pancakes." he said.

"I thought they only served them for breakfast."

"They do but I'm an exception." he said proudly and lazy Susan came to take their order.

"Peter! It's good to see you! Heard you went to jail again." she said with a big smile.

"It's good to see you too, Susan, and yes I did go to jail." he said, puffing his chest with pride.

"Well it's good to have you back. Now what can I get you and your date?" she asked, making Dipper blush.

"Two batches of pancakes, one strawberry and one chocolate milkshake." he said and Susan wrote that down.

"Ok, I'll be right back with your order so you can continue with your date." she said with a wink and walked away.

"Don't mind her, she's only joking." he said to Dipper.

"Ok... Hey, can you tell me why you went to jail?" she asked.

"Sure and I'll even be able to tell you an important life lesson." he said, leaning on the table.

"What is it?" she asked, curious.

"Flammable and inflammable are the same f*cking thing and you should never leave me unsupervised while I'm drunk." he said completely serious and staring her straight in the eye.

"Here's your order. Call me if you need anything else." said Susan and left to take care of the other customers.

"Chocolate or strawberry?" he asked.

"Chocolate. Mabel likes strawberry." she said and they started eating. While they were eating Dipper explained everything they've found about the murder and after they finished Peter paid the bill and they left.

"Where are we going?" asked Dipper.

"We're going to Gravity Falls Gossiper." he answered, pulling out his phone to call someone. He waited for a bit before the other person answered. "Tell thosedumbasses that are suppose to protect the town that it was Toby Determined and meet us in front of the Gossiper." he said quickly and hang up.

"Who did you just call?" she asked.

"Ms.Goody Two Shoes so we better hurry before they get there." he picked her up and started running.

"What are you doing?!" she yelled and started to squirm but wrapped her arms around his neck when he gained speed.

"Didn't I say that we have to get there fast? I want to get some hits before the police get there." he said with a smirk.

"You can't do that!" she yelled.

"Sorry, cutie, but Black is my master and I only take orders from them." he said with a laugh.

"Who's Black?" she asked.

"I'll tell you later." he said andcontinued running and before Dipper knew it they were in front of the Gossiper and Peter put her down. "Ok, here's the plan. I smash the door open and hit him a few times and you ask the questions after that." he told her.

"Um... isn't it better to ask first then hit?"

"Not the way Black and I do it." he said and before she could argue he smashed the door open and charged inside. She heard Toby scream and quickly went inside where she found the journalist on the floor with Peter's foot on his chest and him looming over him.

"What is this?!" he yelled.

"Toby Determined you are arrested for murdering wax Stan." said in aauthoritative tone Peter.

"I didn't do it!" yelled the scared journalist.

"I don't like it when people lie to me Toby." he told him and applied pressure on his chest which made him scream.

"STOP THAT! YOU'RE HURTING HIM!" yelled Dipper.

"I DIDN'T DO IT! I SWEAR!" screamed Toby.

"Then where the hell where you?" asked Peter applying even more pressure.

"I WAS HERE AND KISSING MY CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF SHANDRA JIMENEZ! I HAVE IT EVEN ON TAPE!" he screamed and Peter lifted his foot.

"It wasn't him." said Peter and turned to Dipper. She had tears running down her cheeks and when he took a step towards her she flinched back.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"Because that's the best way to get the truth out of people. That's how Black and Red do it." he continued walking towards her while she backed away.

"Red?"her back hit the wall and Peter was right in front of her, crouching as to be on eye level with her.

"Yes, now let's get out of here." he stood up and left with Dipper following, although hesitant. Peter closed the door and Dipper noticed the police sirens getting louder and louder. They waited as the the police arrived with their sisters.

"How'd you get here so fast?" asked Christina.

"We ran." answered Peter with a shrug. "But it wasn't Toby Determined who murdered wax Stan. Are there any fingerprints on the ax?" he asked Christina and she shook her head.

"None." she said.

"Told ya that the case was unsolvable." said the sheriff and the twins sighed.

"Well I guess that there's one thing left for us to do." said Mabel.

"What's that?" asked her twin.

"Go to wax Stan's memorial." she said.

Stan was standing behind a podium in the wax figure room. On his right was the open coffin with wax Stan inside and behind them was a portrait of them together. In front of him a bunch of chairs were set up with Dipper, Mabel (who was holding the ax), Lilly, Peter, Soos and the wax figures as the audience. "Kids, Lilly, Soos, cool looking guy that I have nevermet, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming." said Stan and Soos blew his nose. "Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."

"They're wrong!" yelled Soos.

"Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven." said Stan and wiped a tear. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!" he ran out of the room with Soosfollowing.

"Those cops are right about me." said Dipper, crossing her arms.

"Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now." said Mabel, trying to cheer her sister up.

"But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues," she said while walking towards wax Stan's coffin and looked inside. "Wax Stan has a hole in his shoe..." she noted.

"All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy." explained Mabel, walking towards her twin.

"Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints? Mabel! The murderers are-" her eyes widened.

"Standing right behind you." said Wax Sherlock Holmes, startlingLillia and Peter as all the wax figures came to life.

"Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?" gasped Dipper.

"Wha s'up Holmes?" greeted Wax Coolio as Wax Lizzie Borden took her ax from Mabel.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" repeated Mabel and hid behind her twin, Lillia mirroring the action with her sibling.

"Congratulations, my four amateur sleuths, you have unburied the truth and now we're going to bury you." said Wax Holmes, pointing at them with his magnifying glass. "Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret." hetook out Wax Stan's head out of his cape. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically." heordered and the figures applauded. "Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap." he corrected and they clap slowly. "There we go, nice and condescending."

"How is this possible? You're made out of wax!" said Lillia.

"Are you... magic?" asked Mabel and he laughed.

"Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic! WE'RE CURSED!" he yelled and the figuresrepeated the word 'cursed'. "Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale." he explained.

"A haunted garage sale, son!" added Coolio.

*Flashback*

Stan was at a garage sale and looking at wax figures.

"I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price." said the seller and Stan looked at the price.

"Twenty dollars?! I'll just take 'em when you're not lookin'."

"What?" asked the confused seller.

"I said I was gonna rob you." repeated the grunkle.

And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man.

But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night.

The figures were messing around in the Mystery Shack. Wax Larry King was flicking Wax Coolio's braids while he was trying to read.

"Hey, I told you to stop that." he said.

"Make me!" said Larry continuing flicker his braids. Wax Holmes and Wax Edgar Allan Poe were in Stan's room while he was asleep, laughing and taking pictures. The times when Stan would wake up they would freezeuntil he went back to sleep.

It was a charmed life for us cursed beings...

Stanshook the empty admission box and after that put the wax figures in storage.

That is, until your uncle closed up the shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away...

After years of being in storage Holmes took WaxLizzie Borden's ax and on that fateful he swiped Wax Stan's head off with it.

But we got the wrong guy.

"So,you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!" exclaimed Dipper.

"You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!" said Mabel.

"Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... die." said Wax Holmes. The wax figures approached them with their eyes rolling back and growling.

"What do we do?" asked Lilly.

"How the f*ck should I know!" yelled Peter. He pulled out a gunand started shooting.

"Why do you have a gun!?" yelled the blonde.

"I always have a gun!" he said and continue to shoot. The wax figures stumbled back with melted holes and Dipper got and idea.

"That's it! We can melt them!" she said and took aheated fire poker. Mabel and Lillia nodded at each other and grabbed the electric candles. The wax figures backed away from them.

"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!" threatened Lillia.

"Decorative candles!" added Mabel.

"You really think you can defeat us?" asked Wax Holmes.

"It's worth a shot." said Dipper.

"So be it. Attack!" he ordered and the figures obeyed. Wax Lizzie Borden swung her ax at Lillia, but accidentally decapitated Wax Robin Hood.The teen sidestepped her and sliced her in half. Wax Shakespeare snuck up behind Mabel butran away when she cut off his arms with the candle. His hands were still moving though and started choking her but Lillia quickly melted them.

"Interview this, Larry King!" Dipper yelled, decapitating him.

"My neck! My beautiful neck!" he yelled.

"Hey wax assholes!" yelled Peter gaining the figures' attention. "Have any of you ever seen a dragon breath fire?" he asked with a mischievous grin. Not waiting for their answer, he lit a lighter in front of his mouth and blew fire, effectively melting them while they screamed.

"Dipper! Watch out!" yelled Mabel. Dipper turned around and saw Wax Holmes approach her.

"Alright. Let's get this taken care of." he put Wax Stan's head on the horn of a rhino's head on the wall and grabbed a hanging sword. He then swung at her but she dodged. Holmes kept on attacking her and she blocked every attack but was pushed backuntil they reached the attic floor. The brunette was cornered by Wax Holmes against the wall.

"Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once more!" he said, getting ready to strike.Thegirl looked at the window and just when Sherlock brought the sword down, she rolled between his legs and out the window.

"Don't count on it!" she yelled, climbing onto the Mystery Shack sign.

"Come back here, you brat!" he yelled and followed her.

Dipper slowly walked across it while Wax Holmes swung the sword at her. They clashed between poker and sword while trying to maintain balance. Wax Holmes tried to hit herwith his sword, but shejumped back and the 'S' in 'Shack' fell off.

"You really think you can outwit me girl? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!" he yelled. Dipper dropped the poker and began climbingup the sign. She hid behind the chimney and looked out to see where he was. Just as she looked at the other side Wax Sherlock kicked her and raised his sword. "Any last words?" he asked.

"Um... you got any sunscreen?" she asked lamely.

"Got any-? What?" he turned around and gasped when hesaw the sun beginning to rise. "No." he said as he melted.

"You know, letting me lead you outside? Probably not you sharpest decision." shesat up.

"Outsmarted by a child in short pants! No!" he said and started to melt faster. "Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter hallabaloo!" everything but his face melted.

"Case closed!" she clappedher hands but the dust madeher sneeze.

"Ha ha ha! You sneeze like a kitten! Those policemen were right, you're adorable! Adorable!" he fell off the roof, splashing on the ground.

"Ew." was the only thing she said and climbed down to the room where she saw Lillia and Mabel throwing the last remaining wax figure parts into the fire.

"Dipper, you survived!" said happily Peter as he took Wax Stan's head off the wall and gave it to her.She nodded at him, not entirely trusting him after earlier that day.

"Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?" yelledStan, lookingaround the destroyed room in horror.

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!" explained Mabel.

"I decapitated Larry King." added Dipper.

"And I sliced in half Lizzie Borden" added Lillia.

"And I melted them with my fire breath." bragged Peter.

"How did you do that?" asked him Mabel.

"I drank two bottles of whiskey before coming here." he dodged his sister's elbow.

"...Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!" smiled Stan and shook his head.

"On the bright side, though, look what we found." Dipper showed him the head.

"My head! Haha! I missed this guy! You've done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing."

"Oh I'm not so sure about that. Is there any other alternative...?"

"Oh uh...I'm not so sure..."

Stan laughed and noogied them both. At that moment a police car drove up to the window with Blubs and Durland sitting in front and Christina in the back.

"Solved the case yet, girl? I'm so confident you're gonna say 'no', that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee." he said and did just that.

"Actually, the answer is 'yes'." she showed them the head. Because of the unexpected answer the sheriff spit the coffee in Durland's face. He screamed and spitit back in Blub's face and they repeat that all the while the others laughed.

"It burns! It burns!" screamed the sheriff.

"My eyes!" screamed the deputy. They drove away screaming with Christina in the back laughing.

"They got scalded!" yelled Peter and a crash was heard.

"Are they ok!?" asked Lillia.

"Eh, probably." said Peter and she ran out to check.

"So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?" asked Dipper.

"We're99% sure that we did!" answered Mabel.

"Good enough for me!" she said. Nobody noticed Wax Larry King's head in the vent where he watched them, laughing. A rat walked up to him and he stopped laughing.

"So you're a rat. Tell me about that." he said and it ripped off his ear and ran off. "Hey, get back here!" he hopped after it. "I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!"

Chapter 4: The hand that rocks the Mabel

Chapter Text

It was sunset and Stan Pines was out in the front yard with some tourists. "For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible 'Sack of Mystery'. When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!" he said, holding out a sack with a stitched on question mark. The crowd muttered several positive things about the trick's credibility and Stan's character. They put their money in it and Stan smiled at their gullibility. While that was happening Soos and the twins were watching TV. Soos was sitting on the one of the armrests of the yellow armchair, Mabel was sitting on the other armrest and Dipper was sitting on the floor.

"The tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him with a fist."said the TV narrator. It showed a tiger which had a large muscular human arm attached to its shoulder and they started to cheer. The tiger gasped at the sight of the arm and accidentally punched itself. "Tiger Fist! ...will return after these messages."said the narrator and pianomusic started playing.

"Hey, look. It's that commercial I was telling you girls about." said Soos.

"Are you completely miserable?" voiced-over a man with a southern accent.

"YES!" answered a man through his tears.

"Then you need to meet Gideon."voiced-over the man, whispering the name.

"Gideon?" asked Dipper.

"What makes him so special?" asked Mabel.

"He's a psychic. So don't waste your time with other so-called 'man of mystery'." the screen showed a clip of Stan coming out of an outhouse and was stamped with the word 'FRAUD'. "Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy."finished the man and the subtexts werespeed through for commercial.

"Wow, I'm getting all curiousy inside!" said Mabel as Stan walked in.

"Well, don't get too curiousy. Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble." said Stan, remembering how Gideon stole his parking spot.

"Well, is he really psychic?" asked Mabel, standing up.

"I think we should go and find out." suggested Dipper.

"Never! You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!" said Stan and shook his fist.

"Do tents have roofs?" asked Dipper.

"I think we just found our loop hole... literally! Mwop mwop!" Mabelheld up a string with a loop in it.

"So come down soon, folks. Gideon is expecting you."voiced-over the man but nobody heard it.

Later that night Soos, Dipper and Mabelwent to the Tent of Telepathy. The tent was blue and white with a colorful wooden pentagram with an eye in it's center on top and in front the tent there was a large, slightly portly, balding man with long brown sideburns going down his face. He was wearing a salmon floral button up shirt with a collar, a white undershirt, a straw hat, tan pants, and white pointed shoes. He had a name tag with 'Buddy' written on it.

"Step right up there, folks. Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack." hetold them, holding a blue sack.The crowd muttered several positive things about the sack's credibility. Inside the tent the trio took their seats.

"Whoa, this is like a bizarre version of the Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos." said Dipper, pointing to a guy very similar to Soos.

"I know, right?" said someone behind her. Turning around, she came face to face with none other than Peter. He was wearing a tuxedo shirt, blue jeans and black chucks.

"What are you doing here? And where is Lilly?" she asked, looking around nervously for the blonde.

"She's at home, sleeping. I put some sleeping pills in her soda so I could sneak out." he explained.

"It's starting! It's starting!" whispered Mabel as the lights dimmed.

"Let's see what this monster looks like." said Dipper, crossing her arms. The curtains opened to reveal a short, stout kid with white pompadour hair bigger than his head. He had an upturned nose, blue eyes and three freckles on each of his cheeks. He wore a baby blue suit, a black shirt, and an American flag pin on the left side of his collar and brown, polished shoes.

"Hello America! My name is Li'l Gideon." the boy, Gideon, greeted. He clapped his hands and white doves flew out of his hair, making the crowd cheer.

"That's Stan's mortal enemy?" asked Dipper.

"But he's so wittle!" said Mabel in a baby voice.

"Don't be fooled by the act. Black, BetaandOmega use the same trick." Peterwhispered toDipper.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight!... Such a gift. I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say 'aww'." he said and made a cute pose that made the crowd say 'aww'.

"It came true." said Mabel, awed.

"What? I'm not impressed."

"You're impressed!"

"Hit it, dad!" said Gideon. His father, the man from before, started playing the piano and he started singing and dancing.

"Oh, I can see, what others can't see
It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability
Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined
And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!
Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going!"he said and everyone stood up, clapping along the beat.

"Wha—? How did he—?" startled Dipper and Peter frowned.

"Keep it going!
You wish your son would call you more"he sang, pointing to an old woman with a cat.

"I'm leaving everything to my cats!" she yelled, shaking her fist and the cat meowed.

"I sense that you've been here before."hetold sheriff Blubs, who was wearing a shirt with Gideon's face on it and holding various other Li'l Gideon merchandise.

"Oh, what gave it away?" he asked.

"Come on." Dipper rolled her eyes.

"I'll read your mind if I'm able
Something tells me you're named Mabel"sang Gideon to Mabel.

"How'd he do that?" she asked her sister and Peter looked pointedly at the sweater she was wearingthat had her name on the front.

"So welcome all ye... to the Tent of Telepathy
And thanks for visiting... widdle ol' me!"the song endedwith Gideon was sweating and panting as the crowd cheered wildly. "Oh... oh my goodness." he panted and drank some waterbefore turning to the crowd. "Thank you! You people are the real miracles!"

"Woo! Yeah!" cheered Mabel.

"Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan! No wonder our uncle's jealous." said Dipper as they were exiting.

"Oh, come on. His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair? It was like, whoosh!"commented Mabel.

"You're too easily impressed." said Peter.

"Yeah, yeah!" she said.

The next day at the Mystery Shack Mabel approached Dipper. Mabel was wearing a yellow sweater with a brown llama on it, dark blue skirt, a brown headband and black shoes. "Check it out, Dipper! I successfully bedazzled my face! Blink!" she blinked as she saidthat and some of the sequins fly off her face. "Ow."

"Is that permanent?" Dipperasked. She was wearing a red cami top, blue shorts, black sneakers and her pine tree hat.

"I'm unappreciated in my time..." frowned Mabel and the doorbell rang.

"Somebody answer that door!" yelled Stan.

"I'll get it." said Mabel and went to answer it. She opened it but there was no one thereuntil she looked down and found Gideon.

"Howdy." he greeted.

"It's wittle ol' you!" sheexclaimed, makingGideon laugh nervously.

"Yeah, my song's quite catchy. Now, I know we haven't formally met, but after yesterday's performance, I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head."

"You mean this one?" she laughed obnoxiously.

"Oh, what a delight! Now, when I saw you in the audience, I said to myself 'Now there's a kindred spirit! Someone who appreciates the sparkly things in life'."

"That's totally me!" she laughed and cough up some sequins that landed on Gideon's suit, bedazzling it.

"Enchanting. Utterly enchanting." he whispered.

"Who's at the door?" yelled Stan.

"No one, Grunkle Stan!" yelled back Mabel.

"I appreciate your discretion. Now, Stan's no fan of mine. I don't know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet."

"Gideon! Aha ha!"

"What do you say we step away from here, and chat a bit more. Perhaps in my dressing room?" he suggested.

"Oh! Makeovers. Yahoo!" she poked him in the stomach. They left the shack and Gideon took her to his house and then to his dressing room which Mabel stared in amazement.

"Ya see something you like? 'Cause I do." he said, making her laugh.

"What?" she asked cluelessly.

Later that day when Mabel returned to the Mystery Shack she went straight to Dipper who was sitting sideways on the armchair in the living room and reading the journal. "Hey Dipper. What's goin' oooon?" she asked, dangling her manicured fingernails over the brunette's head.

"Whoa, where have you been? And what's going on with those fingernails, you look like a wolverine." she sat up, closing the journal.

"I know, right?" she roared, pretending to scratch something. "I was hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. He is one dapper little man."

"Mabel, I don't trust anyone who's hair is bigger than their head."

"Oh, leave him alone! You never want to do girly stuff with me; you and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time! Even though you're a girl!" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"What do you mean?" she asked and, as if on cue, Soos entered the room.

"Hey dude, you ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?" heheld up a package of hot dogs.

"Am I!" sheexclaimed and exited the room with Soos, leaving Mabel behind. "One-at-a-time! One-at-a-time!" they chanted and laughed as popping sounds were heard from the kitchen.

The next day Mabel and Gideon were on the roof of a factory. Gideon was wearing his baby blue suit while Mabel was wearing a pink sweater with a penguin on it, a purple skirt and a purple headband.

"Whoa, the view from your family's factory is nuts! Good thing we both brought our—" she started.

"—Opera glasses!" they said in unison, holding up the glasses and laughing.

"Mabel, when I'm up here lookin' down on all those little ol' people, I feel like I'm king of all I survey. I guess that makes you my queen!"

"What? You are being so nice to me right now, quit it!" she said, smacking him in the stomach.

"I can't quit it. I am speaking from the heart." heput his hand over his heart.

"From the where-now?"

"Mabel, I've never felt this close with anyone. So, so close." he stroked her hair, giggling, and she pushed his hand away.

"Look Gideon, I um..." he reached to stroke her hair again, but she pushed his hand away again. "I like you a lot, but let's just be friends." she gave him a smile.

"At least just give me a chance. Mabel, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

"A play date?" she asked and he shook his head. "A shopping date?" she tried again.

"It'll just be one li'l ol' date, I swear on my lucky bolo tie."

"Ummm. Okay, then... I guess..."

"Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world!" he hugged her.

"...Are you sniffing my hair?"

When Mabel returned to the Mystery Shack she saw a white motor scooter parked outside. Curious, she went inside and into the living room where she saw Liam and Dipper sitting on the floor playing a video game. Liam was wearing a green t-shirt, black jeans and black sneakers.

"What'cha doing?" she asked them.

"Liam brought his console and we started playing." answered her sister, not looking away from the screen.

"Shouldn't you be with Lilly?" asked Mabel, sitting on the armchair.

"Nah. She's having an argument with her brother, or more like she's yelling at him while he's looking at his phone. Something about sleeping pills, I think." he said.

"Anyway how was your day?" asked Dipper.

"I have a date with Gideon. It's not a date-date, it's just, you know, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and so I figured I'd throw him a bone." she said.

"Woah, Mabel. Guys don't work that way. He's gonna fall in love with you." said Liam, pausing the game and giving her his full attention.

"Yeah right. I'm not that lovable." she scoffed.

"I'm telling you Mabel, he's gonna fall in love with you-"

"Unless he already has."interrupted Dipper.

"-and you're gonna regret it." he said, crossing his arms. The doorbell rang and Mabel went to answer it. Opening the door a horse burst through making her scream and fall on her butt.

"A night of enchantment awaits, m'lady!" said Gideon riding the horse.

"Oh boy."

The whitenettetook her to an aquatic themed restaurant for their date and were seated at a booth.

"I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here!" she said, looking at the horse as he ate from a woman's plate.

"Well, people have a hard time saying no to me." he said, putting his feet on the table.

"Ah, Monsieur Gideon! Ze feet on ze table! An excellent choice!" said a waiter, pouring water in his glass.

"Jean Luc, what did we discuss about eye contact?" asked Gideon.

"Yes, yes, very good!" said Jean Luc looking away as backed away.

"I've never seen so many forks! And water with bubbles in it? Ooh lala, oui, oui!" she said, awed by everything.

"Oh! Parlez vous français?!" he asked.

"...I have no idea what you're saying."

Meanwhile, at the Mystery Shack Stan had just found out about Mabel and Gideon's relationship. "Hey, hey! What the jackal is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?" he asked, holding a newspaper with a photo of them.

"Oh, yeah, it's like a big deal. Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight." said Wendle as tapped on his phone.

"WHAT?! That little shyster is dating my great-niece!?" he yelled.

"I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple. Mabideon? Gideabel?" wondered Soos out loud before gasping. "Magidbeleon!"

Hearing enough, Stan threw the crumbled newspaper before exiting the gift shop to change into his suit.

"I didn't know! I didn't hear about it and plus, I told her not to." yelled Dipper andStan re-entered after a moment.

"Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop RIGHT now!" he slammed the door.

"Dude, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet, and he had to come back out again and go out the real door?" Soos opened the door. "Nope. Real door."

Stan's car skid past Gideon's house before he backed up and halted it. The house was a two-story cape cod with a light blue roof and shutters and white walls. There was a fence surrounding the property and a large sign that had a picture of Gideon Gleeful and large words that read 'Home of Lil Gideon' and 'Like from TV'. In the yard there were several garden decorations that resembled Gideon, a gazebo, and numerous plants and trees. Stan walked up to the door which had a 'Please pardon this garden' sign and started knocking.

"Gideon, you little punk! Open up!" he yelled and read the sign. "I will pardon NOTHING!" he ripped the sign off and the door was suddenly opened.

"Why, Stanford Pines! What a delight!" said Bud Gleeful when he saw who was atthe door.

"Out of the way Bud, I'm looking for Gideon!"

"Well, I haven't seen the boy around, but since you're here, you simply must come in for coffee!" hepulled him inside. The living room was painted in light purple and decorated with various pictures. There was pink armchair, a sofa, a wooden coffee table and a marble column-shaped end table.

"But-but I came-" he stuttered.

"It's imported! All the way from Colombia!" said Bud.

"Wow... I went to jail there once." he lookedaround andwhistled. "Some digs you got here." he came closer to a crying clown painting. "Oh, this. This is beautiful."

"Now, I hear that your niece and my Gideon are, well, they're singin' in harmony lately so to speak!" said Bud, setting down two cups of coffee and sitting down on the armchair.

"Uh, yeah, and I'm against it. Nyah." said Stan, knocking a pillow off the couch.

"No no no. I see it as a fantastic business opportunity." started Bud, showing Stan around. "Yes, the Mystery Shack and the Tent of Telepathy. We've been at each other's throats for far too- lemme get that," he said, ripping down a picture of Stan from a dart board. "we've been at each other's throats for far too long, yes we have. This is our big chance to set aside our rivalry and pool our collective profit, you see." he said and a ding of a cash register was heard.

"I'm listening." grinned Stan.

"...And so I said 'Autograph your own head shot lady'." said Gideon and laughed.

"Yeah..." sighed Mabel as the lobster on her plate pinched her fork.

"Mabel, tonight's date was a complete success. And tomorrow's date promises to top this one in every way!" he smiled.

"Whoa whoa, you said just one date, and this was it." argued the girl.

"Hark! What a surprise! A red crested South American rainbow macaw!" heexclaimed and a macaw landed on his arm, scaring Mabel. "...two, three, four..."

"MABEL! WILL YOU- ACCOMPANY- GIDEON- TO- THE BALLROOM DANCE- THIS- THURBDAY." it said and Gideon shook it violently. "THURSDAY!" it corrected itselfbefore coughingup a letter and flying away.

"Oh, so adorable." said a woman as a crowd started gathering.

"Gideon's got a girlfriend." said the chef.

"They're expectin' us. Please say you'll go." whispered Gideon.

"Oh, Gideon, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say-" she was interrupted by the sheriff.

"I'm on the edge of my seat."

"This is gonna be adorable." said Tyler Cutebiker.

"If she say's no, I'll die from sadness." said an old woman.

"I can verify that that will indeed happen." said a doctor next to her. Mabel glanced around as the whole restaurant gathered around their table, whispering excitedly among each other as they awaited for her answer.

At the shack Mabel walked past her twin as she was reading a book.

"Hey. How'd it go?" she asked.

"I don't know... I have a lobster now." was the answer she got as Mabel put the lobster in the aquarium.

"Well, at least it's over and you'll never have to go out with him again." a pause. "Mabel? It's over, right? Mabel?"

"BLAARRGG!" her twin flailed her arms. "He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say 'no'."

"Like this: no." she said.

"It's not that easy, Dipper! And I do like Gideon, as a friend/little sister, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings! I just need to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends."

The followingnight Gideon and Mabel were in the middle of the lake with Old Man McGucket rowing the boat.

"Boat in the night! Boat in the night!" laughed McGucket.

"Hah, you know I thought dancing was gonna be the end of the evening, right?" she laughed nervously.

"Don't you want this evenin' to last, my sweet?" Gideon leaned in and took her hands in his.

"NO!" she pulled her hands away. "I mean yes. I mean I'm always happy to hang out with a friend, buddy, pal, chum, other word for friend..."

"Pal?" suggested McGucket.

"I already said pal, uh, mate?"

"How about soul mate?" proposedGideon and fireworks flew over their heads. When they exploded they read 'Mabel' within a heart.

"Well, you can't say no to that." said McGucket and she grimaced. In the shadow of the trees two glowing eyes could be seen. They watched the the trio for a moment or two longer before disappearing into the night.

Dipper was walking down the stairs when she heard her sister talking and pacing in the living room.

"...I mean, he's so nice, but... I can't keep doing this. But I can't break his heart. I have no way out!"

"What the heck happened on that date?" asked Dipper.

"I don't know! I was in the friend zone, and then before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone. It was like quick sand! Chubby quicksand!" she shook her.

"Mabel, come on. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon." assured her Dipper and Stan came in.

"Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon!" he said, wearing a white shirt with the words 'Team Gideon' in blue.

"WHAT?!"

"It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus I got this shirt." he gestured the shirt. "Ugh, I am fat." he stated and Mabel ran out the room screaming. "Bodies change, honey! Bodies change..." he called after her. Dipper went after her and found her in the attic where she was hiding in her sweater.

"Oh no. Mabel..."

"Mabel's not here. She's in sweater town." she said, rocking back and forward.

"Are you gonna come out of sweater town?" the pre-teen asked, crouching in front of her and Mabel whined, shaking her head. "Alright, enough is enough. If you can't break up with Gideon, I'll do it for you." she proposed.

"You will?"the brunette peaked out the sweater and saw her twin nodding. She squealed and hugged her. "Oh, thank you thank you thank you!"

"Alright."

"So what's the plan again?" asked Liam as he drove his scooter to The Club.

"I'm going to meet Gideon and tell him that Mabel is breaking up with him." said Dipper, holding tightly onto him from behind.

"And you're sure that this is a good idea."

"Not really, but it's worth a shot." she was quiet for a moment before asking. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Are you really a vampire?"

"Only half. I'm guessing Peter told you."

"Yeah. He also said that you will teach me magic while he teaches me the history of the Wolf family." she looked at the nearing club shaped restaurant.

"That's a good thing 'cuz I can't really explain the history as I'm an outsider."

"How come?"

"Well I've only heard stories about the family while Peter actually is in a way part of it." heexplained as he parked. "You go in and I'll wait here." he told her. Dipper went inside the casino-themed restaurant and straight to Gideon who was sitting in a booth, waiting for her twin. She cleared her throat and he put down the menu to look at her.

"Oh. Dipper Pines, how are you? You look good, you look good." he nodded.

"Thanks, you uh... Look, Gideon. We've got to talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight, she uh, she doesn't want to see you anymore. She's uh. She's kinda weirded out by you, no offense." she said and his eye twitched.

"So what you're sayin' is... you've...come between us." his eye twitched again.

"You're not gonna like, freak out or anything, are ya?" she asked, noticing his scowl before it turned into an innocent smile.

"Of course not. These things happen. Bygones, you know."

"So. Okay. Cool. Then again, sorry man, but uh, hey, thumbs up. Huh?" she backed away and left.

"Thumbs up indeed, my friend." he whispered once she had turned her back to him.

"How did it go?" asked the blond the moment he saw her leave the restaurant.

"Ok, but I have a bad feeling."she got on the scooter.

"How so?" he started it and they were off.

"His eye twitched when I told him that Mabel didn't want to date him and he said that I was getting in between them." shetold him. "Plus he kinda creeps me out."

"I know what you mean. He's so innocent and cute that it gives me the creeps and I'm the guy who's half family is vampiric." he said and shuddered. "You won't believe the things I've seen them do."

Soon they arrived at the shack, saying their goodbyes the half vampire left and the brunette went inside where she was greeted with her twin's anxious face.

"How'd it go? Was he mad? Did he try to read your mind with his psychic powers?" was the first thing Mabel said.

"Don't worry, Mabel, he's just a kid. He doesn't have any powers." at least that's what she hoped.

Gideon was in his room, breathing heavily and looking in the mirror, the candle and the light bulbs on the mirror the only sources of light in the otherwise dark room.

"Dipper Pines, you don't know what you've done!" he grabbed his amulet and the candle began to levitate as the light bulbs exploded one by one. Soon all of the furniture in the room began to levitate. "You've just made the biggest mistake of your life!" the levitating objects were droppedon the floor by his will. Because of the noise Bud opened the door to see the mess of broken furniture.

"Gideon Charles Gleeful, clean up your room this instant!" he ordered.

"I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU, OLD MAN!" yelled Gideon, pointing at his father.

"...Fair enough." said Bud and closed the door. Gideon looked at the pictures he had of Mabel attached to the door, and glared at the one with Dipper in it and her side of the picture was burned away.

The next day Soos and the girls were outside. Soos tucked a pillow under his shirt. "Hit me, dude!" he said, the twins charge into his stomach and bounce off, laughing. "Feels good."

"I'm so glad everything's back to normal!" Mabel said and they heard the telephone ring. "Your turn." said first Mabel.

"Your turn." finished Dipper her sentence a second later. "Aw, man..." she stood up and walked into the gift shop to answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper."

"Oh hey man. Sorry for accusing you of murder last week and Peter torturing you." she apologized.

"Water under the bridge! Say, we want to interview you about whether you've seen anything unusual about this here townsince you've arrived."

"Oh, finally! I thought nobody would ever ask! I have notes and theories!" she listened for a moment. "Uh huh, uh huh." she took out her notebook and wrote down the address Toby gave her. "412 Gopher Road. Tonight? Got it."

Toby hang up and turned to the person in front of him.

"There. I did your dirty work. Now it's time you pay YOUR end of the bargain!" he said and the mysterious person threw him a slip of paper. "Ha! Shandra Jimenez's phone number! Bless you, Li'l Gideon!" he hugged the paper as Gideon stood up and left.

Dipper was walking along Gopher Road until the warehouse own by Gleeful family came into view. She looked at her notepad where address and time of the meeting were written on and then at the old mailbox with the number 412 on it. She took a deep breath and exhaled, continuing to walk toward the warehouse. When she reached it, she opened the door and walked in.

"Hello?" she called out, her voice echoing. She turned to leave, only for the door to slam shut.Dipper banged on the door and turned around when the lights turned on. Gideon swerved around in a swivel chair, petting a doll of himself.

"Hello friend." he greeted.

"Ughh, Gideon." she rolled her eyes.

"Dipper Pines. How long have been livin' in this town? A week, two? You like it here? Enjoy the scenery?" he asked while playing with the doll's hands.

"What do you want from me, man?" she crossed her arms.

"Listen carefully, girl. This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend!"

"Is this about Mabel? I told you, she's not into you!"

"LIAR! YOU turned her against me!" he grabbed his amulet and walked towards her. "She was my peach dumplin'!"

"Uh, you okay, man?" she asked and he levitated her and threw her into a pile of merchandise.

"Readin' minds isn't all I can do."

"But-but you're a fake."

"Oh tell me, Dipper: is this fake?" he levitated all of the merchandise.

"f*ck." she whispered.

Mabel was outside the Mystery Shack, thinking and chewing on her hair. Wendle walked outside and sat next to her. "How's that hair tastin', buddy?" he asked her.

"Wendle, I need some advice. You've broken up with girls, right?"

"Oh yeah: Rose Allen, Elly Hall, Harriet Watson..." he counted on his fingers.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross."

"Petra Wirley, Natalia Holt, oh, that girl with the tattoos..." he continued, not listening to the brunette.

"Maybe letting Dipper do it for me was a mistake. Gideon deserves an honest break up."

"Daniela Feldman, Monica Epston... Oh man, I'm not sure I ever actually broke up with her. No wondershe keeps calling me." he said.

"I know what I've gotta do. Thanks for talking to me, Wendle." she said and ran to get her bike and rode off on it. Wendle took out his ringing phone. "Ignore."

Dipper was running away from the merchandise being thrown at her. Gideon laughed evilly and moved a cabinet to smash the pre-teen. Dipper jumped out of the way buthit her head on the wall.

"Grunkle Stan was right about you, you ARE a monster!" she told him.

"Your sister will be mine!" he laughedcruelly and pulled the string on one of his dolls making it also laugh. While he wasn't looking she grabbed a bat from one of the packages and got up. "Who's a cute little guy? You are!" he told it.

"No you are!" said the doll. She started running towards him with the bat raised but he saw her and levitated her, making her drop the bat.

"She's never gonna date you, man!" she told him.

"That's a lie." he said and looked at a box of lamb shears. "And I'm gonna make sure you never lie to me again, friend." he levitated the sheers out of the box and moved them closer to her. Outside Mabel got off the bike and ran to the window and saw what was happening. She quickly opened the door and turned to Gideon.

"Gideon! We have to talk!"

"M-Mabel. My marshmalla." he dropped the shears. "What are you doin' here?"

"I'm sorry Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself."

"I-I don't understand." he squeezed the amulet, therefore squeezing Dipper.

"Uh, Mabel!? This probably isn't the best time to be brutally honest with him!" choked out her twin.

"Hey, but we can still be makeover buddies, right? Wouldn't you like that?" she asked, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"Really?" he asked hopefully and she looked at his amulet.

"No, not really!"s he pulled off the amulet and Dipper fell. "You were like, attacking my sister, what the heck?!"

"My tie! Give it back!" he tried to reach it and Mabel threw it to her sister, who caught it.

"Ha! Not so powerful without this, are you?" she mocked and he charged at her screaming, making her drop the amulet, and both broke through the window.

"Dipper!" gasped her twin. They both screamed as they fell and Gideon slapped her, in return shepunched him. They start screaming again as they near the ground. They were saved by Mabel who levitated them using the mystic amulet and floated down. "Listen Gideon, it's over. I will never, ever, date you." she said.

"Yeah!" agreed her twin. Mabel dropped them and threw the amulet to the ground, breaking it.

"MY POWERS! Oh this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle... ol' me!" he walked back into the dark forest.

"Ah, this is livin', brother." said Stan after he finished signing papers.

"From now on it's all name brand foods and clown paintings." said Bud and Gideon stormed in. "Well, hey, Gideon! Why, look who I-" Gideon stood on the coffee table.

"Stanford Pines, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!" he told him.

"Rebuke? Is that a word?" asked the elder Pines.

"The entire Pines' family have invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!"

"What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?"

"Apbap bap but-but sunshine?" laughed Bud nervously. "What about our arrangement with Mabel and-"

"SILENCE!" commanded Gideon.

"Well, uh, I see that he's takin' to one of his rages again. Eh, sorry Stan, I have to side with Gideon on this one." Bud said and ripped the contract.

"Okay, okay. I can see when I'm not wanted." said Stan, grabbing the clown painting andturning to leave.

"Stan, I'm-I'm sorry but I'm gonna need that painting back! Stan? STAN!" yelled Bud as Stan ran.

"TRY AND CATCH ME, SUCKERS!"he yelled.

Back at the shack, Stan hang up the paintingwhile the twins, who were a mess,sat on the armchair. "I coulda had it all." he said and looked at his nieces. "What the heck happened to you two?"

"Gideon" they said in unison.

"Gideon. Yeah, the little mutant 'swore vengeance' on the whole family." he sat down on the dinosaur skull. "Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or somethin'."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, how's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?" laughed Dipper

"He'll never guess what number I'm thinking of. NEGATIVE EIGHT! No one would guess a negative number." said Mabel and they all laughed.

"Uh oh. He's plannin' on destruction right now!" said Stan and laid on top the twins as they all laughed.

Gideon was making dolls of the Pines family and started playing with the Mabel doll.

"Gideon, I still love you. If only my family weren't in the way." he picked up the Stan doll and imitated him. "Look at me. I'm old, and I'm smelly." he finished the Dipper doll and mocked her. "Hey, what are you gonna do without your precious amulet?" he answered in his regular voice. "Oh you'll see girl... " he closedJournal 2. "You'll see..."

Chapter 5: The Inconveniencing

Chapter Text

The twins were in the gift shop of the Mystery Shack with Wendle, who was wearing his usual 'uniform' with the addition of a name tag, leaning against the counter, reading a magazine while Mabel was sitting on a spinning globe wearing a turquoise sweater with a music note against a rainbow stripe, a purple skirt and a blue headband. Dipper was sitting on barrel next to the counter reading the journal, which was disguised to look like an ordinary book, and was wearing a green T-shirt, blue shorts, a blue vest and her hat.

"Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?" asked suddenly Dipper.

"I believe you're a big dork! Hahaha!" shelaughed and Dipper put her pencil against the globe, causing for her twin to fall off.

Stan entered from outside. "Soos! Wendle!" he called and Soos ran up to him panting.

"What's up, Mr. Pines!" he asked.

"I'm headin' out. You two are gonna wash the bathrooms, right?"the man asked.

"Yes, sir!" answered Soos with a salute while Wendle with his reply of "Absolutely not!"

"Haha! You stay out of trouble!" warned Stan before he left. Soos and Wendle glanced at each other and the redhead walked past the girls to a curtain.

"Hey girls! What's this?" he unveiled the curtain to show a ladder. "A secret ladder to the roof?"

"Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that." said Soos worriedly.

"Huh?" Wendle extended his arm with his palm towards Soos.

"Uhhhhh."

"Huh?"

"You're freaking me out, dude!" said Soos, clutching his hat.

"Can we actually go up there?" asked Dipper.

"Sure we can! Roof time! Roof time!" chanted the teen already climbing the ladder.

"Roof time! Roof time!" chanted the girls also climbing itas Soos looked out the window nervously. They exited through the trapdoor on the roof of the gift shop and climbed to the other side if the shack.

"Alright, check it out!" he said, showing them his spot. There was an opened beach umbrella with a sunbed underneath it, a cooler and a bucket filled with pine cones next to them.

"Did you put all this stuff up here?" asked Dipper.

"I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, everyday." he answered casually. Picking up a pine cone, he threw it and hit a target on the totem pole near the shack. "Yes!"

"Cool!" "Me first!" said the twins, both grabbed some pine cones and tried to hit the target. Dipper accidentally hit a car, blushing as the alarmwent off.

"Jackpot! High five." said the teen holding up his hand. She looked at him and felt her face heat up againwhen she saw him smiling at her as the wind gently blew his hair. "...Don't leave me hangin'." he added after she didn't high five him and she quickly did. "Oh hey, it's my friends!" he said and they lookedwhen a blue SUV pulled up and someone waved from the driver's side window.

"Wendle!" the man called out.

"Hey, you guys aren't going to tell Stan about this, are you?" he asked them. Dipper smiled and zipped her lips, throwing away the imaginary key. The teen did the same before turning towards the car. "Later dorks!" he grabbed the nearest tree and slid down it before getting into the car.

"Let's get out of here!" they heard the driver say before diving off.

"Later Wendle! Heh heh heh! Good times!" said Dipper.

"Uh, oh!" grinned her sister, putting her hands on her hips and swaying them a little.

"What?" she asked.

"Somebody's in love!" Mabel poked her cheek.

"Yeah, right! I just think Wendle's cool, okay? It's not like I lie awake at night thinking about him!" she said.

Later that night, while her twin was sound asleep, Dipper was wide awake. "Uh-oh."

"Random dance party for no reason!" yelled Mabel, turning on the cassette player and started to dance.

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" chanted Wendle as he also danced. Dipper was looking at them, writing 'I am pretending to write something down.' on a clipboard and nodding as she read it. "Dipper!" called outthe redhead, startling her.

"Uh what, yes?" she asked nervously.

"Aren't ya gonna get in on this?" he asked her.

"I don't really dance." she walked closer to them when they stopped dancing.

"Yeah, you do! Mom used to dress her up in a princesscostume and make her do..." Mabel lowered her voice as to whisper to him. "The Princess Dance!"

"Now is not the time to talk about the Princess Dance." Dipperhissed at her.

"Princesscostume? Wow, is there like a crown and a lot of sparkles or...?" he asked the girl.

"Dipper would dance around and sing about what it means to be a queen." answered Mabel, holding a picture of a 5 year old Dipper in arenaissance styled blue dress with a silver circlet resting on her head. They all heard the clock cuckoo and Wendle stood up.

"Hey, look at that! Quittin' time! The gang's waitin' for me." he took off his name tag, put it in his pocket, and started walking towards the door.

"Wait! Why don't I - or we come with you?" asked Dipper, stopping him in his tracks.

"Ooh... I don't know. My friends are pretty intense. How old did you guys say you are?" he asked.

"We're thirteen! So, technically a teen." she said.

"All right. I like your moxie, kid! Let me get my stuff." he said and left the two sisters alone.

"Since when are we thirteen? Is this a leap year?" mused Mabel.

"Come on, Mabel. This is our chance to hang out with, you know, the cool kids. And Wendle and whatever." Dipper reasoned, looking away when she said the last part.

"I knew it! You love him!" Mabel jumped off the counter and started dancing around her, singing: "Love love love love love!"

"Oh hey, what's that?" pointed Dipper. Mabel turned to look at where her twin pointed and Dipper flipped her hair over her face.

Outside the shack two teenagers were holding their friend upside-down by his legs. The boy on the left waslanky and hadlong blonde hair. He was wearing a red t-shirt with an orange thumbs up symbol on it, black shorts andblack and white converses. He had pale skin and a somewhat large chin. The girl on the right haddark skin, mid-back brown hair and a dark aqua green and white cap. She was wearing a black t-shirt with a melting skull on it, blue skinny jeans and black shoes. She also had tattoos on her arms. The guy in the middle who was being held was heavyset and had light skin, brown hair and mustache stubble. He wasn't wearing a shirt but was wearingbrown shorts, white socks, a brown and gold watch, and brown and gray shoes. Another girl was a few feet across from them. She had long black hair that covered her left eye,pale skin with a few pimples and several piercings on her ears. She waswearing tight skinny jeans with a key chain attached to the pocket and a black hoodie with a picture of a red bleeding heart with stitches on it, along with black fingerless gloves. She hada black guitar strapped to her back. Next to her was a boy witholive skin and long purple hair in a half mohawk who was recording on his phone. He was wearing a light purple shirt, black jeans and black boots.

"In the belly! In the belly!" chanted the teenagers holding their friend.

"Come on! Hurry up!" he yelled. The raven haired girl got ready to throw a jelly bean but someonebeat her to it. She looked at her jelly in confusion before turning around and seeing Wendle straighten up from his throwing position, smiling.

"Wendle!" they called.

"Hey guys! These are my pals from work, Mabel and Dipper." he introduced.

"I chewed my gum so it looks like a brain! BLAH!" said Mabel and stuck her tongue out to show the gum.

"She's not much for first impressions. Unlike this girl!" said Dipper pointing at herself.

"So are you, like, babysitting, or-" asked the raven haired girl.

"Come on, Robin! Guys, this is Lee and Natalia." introduced Wendle pointing at the blond and the girl with the tattoos. "Timber." he pointed at the guy with purple hair who was texting on his phone.

"Hey..." he greeted, not taking his eyes off the device.

"Thompson, who once ate a runover waffle for 50 cents." he pointed to the last remaining boy who had put on a green shirt with a popped collar and a small bunny icon over his left side.

"Don't tell them that!" he said.

"And Robin. You can probably figure her out." he pointed to the black haired girl who was now playing her guitar.

"Yeah, I'm the girl who spray-painted the water tower." she casually said.

"Oh, you mean the big muffin!" said Dipper.

"Um, it's a giant explosion." she correctedand everyone looked at the water tower.

"Hehe! Kinda does look like a muffin!" said Lee and laughed with Natalia making Robin glare at the pre-teen.

"Let's hurry it up, guys. I got big plans for tonight!" clapped his hands Wendle. They all got in the car and Dipper went to the passenger seat but saw Robin already sitting there.

"Sorry kid, I'll ride shotgun alright?" she said smugly and the pre-teen went to sit with her sister in the back. Thompson started the car before turning to his friends.

"Okay just, before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof anymore, so..."

"Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!" the teens chanted, punching the roof. Sighing, hestarted driving. Mabel looked around, takingher sister's red sharpie she crossed out 'You stink!' on her door and wrote 'You look nice today!'.

"Ha! This is gonna blow someone's mind!" she told Dipper.

"Mabel, please!" elbowed her Dipper.

"What, am I embarrassing you in front of your new BOY-" Dipper quickly slapped her hand over her sister's mouth before pulling it away.

"Ugh! Did you just lick my hand?"

Stan was in the living room watching TV.

"You're watching the black and white period piece old lady boring movie channel!"said the TV announcer and Stan looked around for the remote.

"Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!" he yelled.

"Stay tuned for the Friday night movie, The duch*ess Approves, starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as 'The duch*ess' and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain 'Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire'!"

"KIDS!" he yelled desperately but it was too late, the show had started. "NO! NOOOO!"

They had arrived at their destination which was an ordinary looking convenience store that they wereobserved from the other side of the wired fence.

"There it is, fellas! The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn!" said Wendle.

"Ha! Cool!" laughedLee and Natalia.

"Neato!" said Mabel.

"Why'd they shut it down, was it like a health code violation, or-" asked Dipper.

"Try murder!" said Natalia.

"Some folks died in there, the place has been haunted ever since!" said the blond.

"This town has such a colorful history!" said happily Mabel.

"Wha... Are you guys serious?"

"Yeah! We're all gonna die! Chill out man!" the redhead punched her lightly. "It's not as bad as it looks!" Dipper looked at a sign that read 'NO TRESPASSING VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED' but someone wrote with red paint 'DEAD' over prosecuted. They started climbing the fence even though Dipper was a bit scared at first but, hey, she has ridden a wolf, fought a gnome monster and nearly got killed by a psychic because he couldn't take a hint! There was no way a simple fence was going to scare her! She steeled her nerves and jumped off the fence, landing perfectly fine. Once everyone was on the other side they all went to the store.

"Wow! This place is amazing!" commentedthe redhead as he looked through the window.

"I think it's, it's stuck!" said Robin as she pulled at the door.

"Let me take a crack at it!" said confidently Dipper.

"Oh yeah. I can't get in, but I'm sure Junior here is gonna break it down like She-Hulk!" the ravenette said sarcastically.

"Come on, leave her alone. She's just a little kid." said Wendle. Deciding to take action, Dipperwalked over to a dumpster and using it got to the roof.

"Kid, what are you doing?" asked a worried Timberas she went to the vents and started punching the metal plate until it gave out.

"Go Dipper! Punch that metal thing!" encouraged her sister and she walked in.

"Who wants to bet he doesn't make it?" asked Robin and, as if on cue, Dipper opened the door from inside.

"Good call inviting this little maniac!" said Lee as he passed her.

"Your new name is Dr. Funtimes!" told her Natalia and Mabel high fived her.

"Nice work!" praised Wendle and she followed.

"Do you guys really think it's haunted?" asked Thompson

"Na! Thompson are you kidding me?" asked Natalia. Nobody saw how the'Yes, we're open' turned on it's own to 'Get lost! We're closed'. The group started exploring the old store, the moonlight their only source of light.

"Whoa man, it's even creepier than I imagined!" said Wendle as he explored with Dipper and Robin. Mabel wiped dust off a change slot at the cash register and licked itoff her finger.

"Yep. It'sdust." she confirmed. Dipper took an old newspaper covered in dust and wiped it off to find that it dated back to May 2, 1995.

"Hey dude, where do you think they keep the dead bodies?" Lee asked Natalia and she shoved him with a "Shut up, man!"

"Guys, check it out! You think these still work?" asked Wendle as he switched the lights onand the store came to life.

"Jackpot!" said Mabel.

"So, what are we going to do now?" asked Dipper.

"Anything we want." he answered. They soon separated into two groups, grabbing as much food as they could andstarted throwing it at each other. Later they sat in a circle and popped mints into a Pit Cola bottle, cheering as it exploded. Mabel ran around a corner and stopped dead at her tracks, a display full of sugary snacks in front of her.

"Oh my Gosh! Smile Dip! I thought this stuff was banned in America!" she took one.

"Maybe they had a good reason." said Dipper who nearly got hit by a balloon full of mustard so she ran off. Mabel opened the package and put the stick into the the Smile Dip, looking at the stickshe then poured the entire package into her mouth.

Wendle and Dipper were sitting on top a shelf and eating ice pops as Natalia called for Thompson to come where she was and he eagerly went, making the redheadlaugh. "Thompson! Dipper, this night is like, legendary." he told her.

"Really?"

"Just look around. The girlsand Thompsonare bonding." Natalia was pulling Thompson's pants as Robin stuffed ice into them. "I've never even seen Timber look up from his phone this long." Timberglanced from his phone for a second. "And your sister seems to be going nuts with that Smile Dip." Mabel was leaning against the display covered in the powder.

"Ugh, maybe I've had too much. What do you think?" she asked the huge dog only she could see since she was hallucinating because of the powder and had found herself in a valley that changes colors and crazy pop music was playingin the background.

"Would you like to eat my candy paws?" asked another big dog, raising his paw.

"Of course you little angel! "she grabbed the paw and started chewing it while in reality she was opening and not entirely closing her mouth, her pupils blown. Wendle and Dipper watched her for a moment before continuing with their conversation.

"You know Dipper, I wasn't sure if you could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age."

"Yes, yes I am." she continued to eat her ice cream.

"Hey guys! We need more ice!" said Lee as he shook an empty bag over Thompson's pants.

"I'm on it!" said the brunette, jumping off the shelf and walking towards the freezer. She grabbed a bag of ice and looked up to see ahuman brain with veins hanging off of it, some of which formed hands, two retractable stalk eyes, and a mouth that looked like a pair of dentures. She yelped and quickly closed the door, the bag of ice thrown to the floor. She gasped and looked at the door. She slowly opened the door but the brain was not there.

"What was that? I thought I heard some lady screaming back here." said Lee as he and the gang walked towards her.

"You freakin' out, kid?" asked Natalia.

"No. I'm cool. Everything's cool." she lied.

"Then what's all this about?" asked Robin pointing towards the ice on the floor.

"That's uh, um uh..." she looked around for a distraction. "Hey look! Dancy Pants Revolution! The game that tricks people into exercising!" the teens quickly forgot about her and went to play the game withDipper following but slower as to think about what she just saw. Thompson started to play the game as everyone, except Mabel, cheered him on.

"Dance! Hurry up!"said the game.

"Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!" chanted Lee and Natalia.

"Wow. He's really terrible at this."commented Wendle.

"Heh heh, yeah. That's, that's great." said Dipper. She glanced into a glass door and saw the reflections of Wendle, Robin, Timber, Thompson and herself but as skeletons. Sherubbed her eyes and everything wasback to normal. "I'll be right back." she ran towards a payphone and dialed a number. After two rings it was answered.

"Hello?"asked the familiar voice of the blond half vampire.

"Liam! Iseriouslyneedyourhelp! We'retrappedinahauntedconveniencestoreand-" she said in one breath.

"Woah, woah, woah! Calm down!"he said and she breathed before trying to explain.

"I need your help. I'm with Wendle and his friends ina convenience store and I think it's actually haunted." she said slowly.

"Convenience store? Isit by any chance Dusk 2 Dawn?"

"Yeah, I'm guessing you've heard of it?"

"My dad actually. He said that the ghosts of the old couple were restless and still haunted the place." she heard some noise from his side. "I'm coming and whatever you do if you find chalk markings of the bodies don'tlet anyone lay down on them. I'll be there in about 10minutes." he hung up. She looked at the phone beforerunning to her sister.

"Mabel, I need your advice. We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store and if I say anything about it to any of these guys they'll just think I'm a scared little kid or something!" she said and Mabel just madea gurgling sound with Smile Dip all over her face and clothes, her pupils were constricted and her irises were somehow green. "Mabel?"

*Mabel's Hallucination*

Mabel was ridding on a flying dolphin with muscular human armswhile crazy pop music was playing in the background. "The future! ...is in the past! Onward Aoshima!" she said. Aoshima, the dolphin, moved its fists in a circular motion, creating a second head, its mouths opened to reveal a fist coming out of them each of them and it's sides, and the fists opened out to reveal dolphin faces that spit out rainbows.

"Mabel! How many of these did you eat!?" shook her Dipper by the shoulders.

"Beleven.. teen..." answered her twinand Dipper dropped her. She went to where the teens were, hoping that Liam would arrive soon.

"Whoa guys, you might wanna see this." said Robin and everyone gathered around the chalk markings of the old couple.

"Then the rumors are true!" said Lee wide-eyed and Dipper gulped.

"Dude, I dare you to lie down in it." said Robin to the blond.

"Good idea!" he turned to Natalia."Go lie down in it!"

"I'm a dead body, look!" she said, walking towards the markings. Just as she was about to step on them, and Dipper was about to stop her, the door was opened to reveal the half vampire.

"What do you think you're doing?" heasked.

"We're having fun, obviously." Robin crossed her arms to which Liam snorted.

"Really? Because it looks to me like you're trespassing. So you either get out right now or I'll call the cops." he threatened, pulling out his phone. The teens looked at each othernervously before Robin snapped at him.

"What's your problem? We're just having fun!" she yelled.

"Yeah and this 'fun' will land you in jail." he said, getting annoyed. Dipper looked at the two and spoke up.

"Maybe we should listen to him Robin." she said and the ravenette glared at her.

"So you're siding with him now Captain Buzzkill?"

"I thought I was Dr. Funtimes."

"Well, you're acting like Captain Buzzkill!" she walked towards the markings.

"Don't step on those!" yelled the dhampir.

"Or what?" she laid down and the markingslit upas the lights went off. Timber looked up from his phone before dissolving, dropping the device. Liam picked it up and read out loud.

"Status update: AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" they looked up as the security camera monitorturned on and Timber appeared on it, screaming and banging on the screen. Everyone except Liam, who looked paler than usual, screamed.

"TIMBER! TIMBER!" called Wendle.

"Can you hear us!?" asked Dipper and the teen only looked around, not seeing them.

"What are we supposed to do!?" asked Natalia.

"I don't know man! I don't know!" said Lee.

"Let's just go already!" said Robin.

"Thompson!" the redhead called to the teen who was still playing Dancy Pants Revolution.

"Wait! I've almost got the high score!" said the brunette before disappearing and reappearing inside the game. "Uh? What?"

"It's time to shake what your mama gave you!"the game said as arrows started fallingwhile the teen tried to dodge them.

"No! So many arrows!" he said as the arrows hit him, making him fall.

"You're a dance machine!"praised the game, increasing the number of arrows.

"No! You're a dance machine!" the teen said, curling up into a fetal position and crying.

"Thompson!" said Wendle.

"Forget them! Let's go!" said Robin and the doors slammed shut.

"What the..." Liam tried to open them but couldn't. "It's locked!"

"OUTTA MY WAY!" said Robin and threw the cash register at the doors but it dissolved and green light flew at her.

"Everybody, wait! Whatever's doing this has to have some kind of reason!" tried to reason Dipper as she opened the journal. "Maybe if we can figure out what it is, they'll let us out of here!"

"'Uh-uh they'll let us out of here!'" said Robin sarcastically. "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense!"

"Hey! Last time I checked it is your fault we are in this mess!" growled Liam.

"Yeah, Robin. You were the one who laid down on the marking." agreed Wendle. "Plusmaybe she's got a point!"

"Yeah right, I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings!" said Lee sarcastically before dissolving and appearing on a cereal box.

"I'm bonkers for eating you alive!" said the bird on the box before stabbing the blond with his spoon.

"Lee! Okay, okay... I'm with you kid! 100%, man!" said Natalia. Mabel flew up from behind the counter, her eyes completely white and and a blue aura around her.

"Welcome." she said in a deep voice making them scream.

"They got Mabel!" screamed Dipper.

"Welcome to your graves, young trespassers." laughed thepossessed twin, holding her middle and kicking her legs.

"We're super sorry for hanging out in your store!" apologized Wendle.

"Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever?" asked Dipper.

"Well... okay. You're free to go." the ghost said and the doors opened. "But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs!" she said and floated towards the hot dog cooker. Both teenage girls screamed and ranfor the door only for it to close. "Just kidding about the hot dog sale!" said the ghost.

"Just let us out of here already!" said Natalia.

"I don't like your tone!" the ghost said and Mabel's eyes glowed as the girl was lifted into the air and dissolved before appearing on the hot dog cooker as a hot dog. "It begins." everything shook before floating to the ceiling. "Welcome to your home for all eternity!"

"Dipper, what do we do?!" asked Wendle as asmoothie machine came towards him from behind.

"DUCK!" she quickly pulled him down as to avoid being hit by it.

"Quick! In there!" said Liam pointing to an overturned cupboard. They all ran, avoiding the floating objects and hid inside.

"What are we gonna do!?" asked the pre-teen.

"Whatever it is we better do it fast or else Mabel's body isn't going to last long." said the halfa looking at the possessed girl.

"What do you mean her body isn't going to last?" asked Dipper as dread filled her.

"Well the ghost obviously hates us and I don't think it will hesitate to kill us. It's just playing with us. And Mabel's body won't be able tolast longif the ghost continues to usethe powers it showed." he said and Dipper froze. The blond continued to talk but she wasn't listening, the whole world seemed to go silent for her. It was all her fault, she thought, she was the one who wanted to spend some time with Wendle and she went ahead and dragged her sister. Fear gripped her heart as she thought how her sister, her best friend, the girl who has always been with her was going to get killed because of her... She got angry. The ghost was messing withhersister,herbest friend, the girl whowas with her from the first day of her life. She got up and walked towards the ghost, Wendle called for her but she didn't hear. She felt like there was fire in her hands as she walked towardher sister, not realizing that therei fact were yellow flames in her hands.

"Hey ghost!" she said and Mabel turned toward her. "GET." she stomped on a piece of glass, breaking it. "AWAY." the ghost flinched back. "FROM." the flames grew bigger as she clenched her hands and Liam covered Wendle's eyes as he watched. "MY SISTER!" fire erupted from her legs and wrapped around her twin. Mabel screamed, but instead of her scream it wasa scream of the deeper and a higher voice mixed in one. Mabel fell limp as the screams continued and was gently cradled by the yellow flames. The screams continued for a few more seconds before stoppingand everything fell back to the floor, but the twins were gently lowered by the fire before it extinguished. The teens were all freed and asked what had happened.

"You are not going to believe it! The ghosts appeared and Dipper- "Liam slapped a hand over the redhead's mouth.

"And Dipperjust grabbed a bat, and started beating ghosts down, left and right, and the ghost got all scared, and ran away." he said. Wendle tried to say something but a glare fromthe blond stopped him. The teens soon left the shop with Liam carrying Mabel and putting herinside the van. He bid them goodbyeas he got on his scooter and warned them (with a glare at Robin) to not do that again to which they agreed, a little scared, before he drove off.

"Well, I'm probably scarred for life." said Wendle.

"Yeah, that was pretty crazy." said Dipper.

"I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and RETHINK EVERYTHING. Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack. Okay?"

"Sure." they got inside the van and left. Soon Mabel started stirred awake while everyone except Thompson and Dipper were asleep. She groaned and looked at what she had written before on the door. "What kind of sick joke is this?"

Thompsondropped them off in front of theMystery Shack and continued to the others' homes, by then Mabel had awaken more but still had a small headache. They were walking towards the front door when the TV from the living room was thrown from the window, nearly hitting them. Stan poked his head from the broken window. "Uh, couldn't find the remote."

Chapter 6: Magic lesson and training Stan

Chapter Text

Stan was in the gift shop of the shack with a customer.

"I like to get my Christmas shopping done early. Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?" the customer, Tyler Cutebiker, asked.

"Uh, how about these crystals?" said Stan, putting a bowl of 'crystals' on the counter.

"Ha ha! Looks like broken glass."

"What are you, a cop?" narrowed his eyes Stan.

"Ooh! What is that new thing?" Tyler ran towards a display just as the twins came in. Mabel was wearing an olive green sweater with mushrooms, a pink skirt, black shoes and a pink headband. Dipper was wearing a light blue shirt, cobalt shorts, black sneakers and her pine tree hat.

"Grunkle Stan?"

"Can we go to the diner? We're huuungry." said Mabel.

"Huuuuungry." repeated her twin. They both hit their stomachs against each other for emphasis.

"Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo makes up his mind." he pointed to Cutebiker.

"Do you have this in another animal?" Tyler pointed at a fur trout.

"...I'm fine locking him inside if you are." he said and the girls nodded. The three Pines exited the shop and Stan put a plank against the boor. They ran to the car and drove away while the customer was still inside, oblivious, choosing between a puma shirt and panther shirt.

They arrived at the diner and went inside to find a booth. They walked past Old Man McGucket, who was drinking A LOT of coffee, past Wendle, who was eating with Manly Dan, and past sheriff Blubs, who was eating pancakes very quickly while deputy Durland used a speeding device on him.

"Well, if it isn't the Pines family." said Christina sitting in a booth with Lillia and Liam.

"Hi Liam." greeted Dipper while Mabel greeted the girls.

"You guys wanna sit with us?" asked the brunette. She was wearing a green tied shirt, skinny jeans and tan sandals with her hair was done in a braid.

"Sure!" said Mabel and sat next to her with her grunkle while Dipper sat across from them, next to Liam. He was wearing a dark purple turtleneck, blue jeans and black boots. Lillia was wearing a white tube top, black leggings and running shoes. Lazy Susan soon came to take their orders.

"Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?" asked Stan.

"I got hit by a bus!" she said and he laughed.

"Hilarious!" he said still laughing.

"Thank you. What can I get you?"

"We'll have two omelets and a number thirteen." said Liam. "You?"

"You do split plates, right?" asked Stan.

"Maybe..." she pulled her eyelid up and then down. "Wink!"

"Great! We'll all split a one-fourth of the number seven, plus a free salad dressing and a small plate of ketchup for the ladies." he said. Susan wrote down the orders and walked away.

"But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!" complained Mabel.

"With the fancy flour they use these days? What am I, made of money?" he raised hands and a piece of money showed out of his sleeve. "Tap tap." he tapped it back inside. Dipper looked around and saw a Manliness Tester, the prize of which were free pancakes.

"Hey Liam, why don't you win us some pancakes by beating that manliness tester?" she asked.

He looked at the machine and grinned at her. "Sure!" the pre-teen stood up and the halfa walked to the machine. He squeezed the joystick and a light appeared next to the 'manly man' level. He smirked, grabbing the plate of pancakes, he walked back to the booth.

"Nice job, Liam!" praised Christina.

"I always knew I didn't just dated you for your looks." teased Lillia. Soon Susan brought them their orders. "Food!"

"Thanks there, sugar pot. I-I mean, I mean uh honey wasp, kitten baby, b-baby cow." stuttered Stan.

"Haha! Silly!" she walked away. "Silly man..."

"What was that about?" asked Lillia.

"Nothing. I don't wanna talk about it. Talk about what? Why is this table wet?" he said nervously.

"Wait just a second. I think I have an idea happening here. You..." started Mabel.

"No!"

"And her..." continued Christina.

"Stop it!" he said and Mabel squealed. "Oh boy."

"You have a thing for Lazy Susan! You do have a soft side!" said Lillia.

"Keep it down, will ya?!" he shushed them. "Alright. I admit it, okay? It would be nice if she liked me. But I've been out of the game for so long I wouldn't know where to start. I mean, look at her. She's so classy." they turned to look at the woman as she hit the spinning pie trolley, demanding it to spin.

Mabel grabbed his face and turned him towards her. "Grunkle Stan, you are a cranky, gross, weird old man. But we will get Lazy Susan to like you because nothing isstronger than the power of-"

"Love?" he asked.

"Mabel. To victory!" she drank the salad dressing.

"And we'll help you." said Christina and Liam hummed.

"Well, while you're helping Stan, Dipper and I will hang out." the dhampir stood up and so did Dipper.

"You're not going to help us?" asked Lillia with a slight disapproving tone.

"I'm not really good with the whole 'asking someone out' thing," he kissed her on the cheek. "and you were, after all, the one who asked me out." he quickly left with Dipper while she blushed.

"Where are we going?" asked Dipper once they were outside.

"To a little clearing in the woods. Peter and the wolves are waiting for us there." he turned to an alley that lead to the woods. "We agreed that it's time for your first magic and history lessons."

Dipper grinned at that. "What will my first lesson be about?" she moved a branch away.

"Magic. You're going to learn my family spells first before you begin with your own family magic. After that, Peter's going to teach you the Wolf family history."he turned after a large rock. "We're here." he said after half an hour of walking. They arrived at a clearing with a stream running near it and a picnic table, half under the shade of a tree, with books on the shade end while on the other end there was a picnic basket and a radio. Peter was seated on the bench and was listening to the radio while the two wolves were laying in the sunlight. He was wearing a red shirt, black slacks and combat boots.

"And now, traffic." they heard the radio say."There’s a stalled car on the northbound on-ramp to the Eastern Expressway just south of Route 800. Commuters should have little delays, as Highway Patrol is fiercely denying this report." the brunette noticed them and waved.

"Hey, what took you so long?"

"We had lunch. You're listening to the Night Vale news?" he got a hum in response.

"I heard that they were gonna tell the horoscopes." he said and turned towards the radio. Dipper looked at Liam who shrugged and sat down, a moment later so did Dipper. "What sign are you?" asked her Peter.

"Virgo. You?"

"Taurus and Dracula is Leo." he said.

"...All other roads seem clear. Expect delays, of course, at the drawbridge construction site, because it is years away from being competently finished." said the radio."Here are this week’s horoscopes. Virgo: Go see a movie today. It’s a great escape! Especially from all this pollution and dangerous UV radiation. Say, is that mole new?" it said and Dipper paled. What kind of horoscope was this!?

"It only applies to people who are in Night Vale." said Peter.

"Where is Night Vale?" she asked.

"Night Vale is located somewhere in the American southwest, surrounded by empty desert, near Desert Bluffs. It's pretty hard to find so I like going there when the police are searching for me or when I want a vacation. I can take you there sometime when you learn how to control your powers." the older brunette said. They fell silent as they listened to the other horoscopes and waited for their own.

"Taurus: Today is your annual Crime Day. All Tauruses are exempt from laws today."

"Hell yeah!" cheered Peter, grabbing a beer from the basket he stood up. "I'm going to Night Vale. I should be back sometime later this evening."

"What about the history lessons?" Dipper asked.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you another time." he said and left as the radio continued it's broadcast.

"...stars say today. Interpret it as you will.Leo: It’s better that I don’t read this aloud. Better that you not know. Tell your family that you love them." it said and continued with other things.

Liam looked sharply at the radio, muttering, "Thank heavens I'm not in Night Vale." and turned it off. "Well it looks like magic will be the only thing you'll be studying today." he looked at the books at the other end of the table and smiled. "It seems that Peter brought some of his own books." he picked up a leather bound book with a golden ankh symbol, under it were golden letters but she couldn't read them as they were in another language. "Today I'll be teaching you the Phoenix spell." he opened the book and turned to the first page, unsurprisingly it was in the same foreign language but there was a drawing of a phoenix anda handunder it. "We'll start with the theory first before moving to actually doing it."

"I can't read what it says." she complained and the blond chuckled. He put his hand an inch or two over the book and muttered something in another language. The letters glowed red and shifted into different letters, ones that she could read before ceasing to glow.

"How bout now?"

"Better." she said and started to read about the spell.

At the Mystery Shack, Stan was in the living room, shuffling cards when his niece, Lillia and Christina walked up to him. "Okay, Grunkle Stan. Welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life! First, a before picture." said Mabel and Christina raised a camera.

"Get ready Mr.Pines." she warned and took a photo of him looking bored and holding cards in his hands. Mabel took the photo and slapped it in a purple scrapbook. "I never miss a scrapbookertunity! Let's start out with some roleplaying. Soos will play Lazy Susan." she pointed to Soos who was dressed similarly to Lazy Susan.

"I'm soft, like a woman." he said.

"Grunkle Stan, show us how you approach a woman. Remember this is a safe, non-judgemental environment. We'll just be right off the side judging you on a scale from one to ten." she raised a notebook with a pen.

Stan walked up to Soos and spat to the side. "Can I borrow some money?" he asked and Mabel blew a whistle.

"This is gonna be harder than I thought."

"So this spell is only used for distractions and for control teaching?" asked Dipper after reading about the spell.

"Mhm. It teaches you to slowly put magic into it or else it might explode in your face, which isn't pleasant at all, and to bend the flame at your will." he explained and she nodded.

"I think I got it. Can we try it out?" he shrugged and stood up.

"Sure, it's a pretty safe spell but there is a chance of burning your eyebrows off." she walked with him a few feet away from the table before stopping. "Ok, so first step is to extend your dominant hand with your palm up, which is important because if you use the other hand you will lose control of the spell." he extended his left hand.

"I'm ambidextrous." she said.

"Then do it with whichever hand you want. It's good to be ambidextrous because then you have a better grip on the spells you do when using both of your hands." nodding, she extended her right hand with the palm up. "Now I want you to create a flame. You were able to create fire in the convenient store last time because you were angry, but this time I want you to be calm and feel the magic inside your body. Remember: this is your first try so don't be disappointed if it doesn't work." he easily created a scarlet flame, the same one she saw on the day she met him. She closed her eyes and exhaled. Remembering the instructions from the book and the feeling she had when using the flames in the convenient store, she concentrated on gathering heat in her hand. When she opened her eyes she was greeted with the sight of a small yellow flame in the centre of her palm.

"Nice job." praised the blond. "Your first try and you already have a flame."

"It's pretty small compared to yours." she watched the flame flicker from the wind.

"Well I do have more experience than you, but you'll soon surpass me with the way things are going." he paused. "How about we practice a bit more before taking a walk around the woods?"

"Sure."

Mabel was sitting on a chair while Stan stood in front of her, Christina and Lillia nowhere in sight. "Alright! Let's try to get that inner beauty on the outside. Smile harder." she said.

Stan tried to smile but it was more of a grimace. "EHHH...AGGHHH..."

The pre-teen stood up. "Harder!" he struggled more but wasn't able to do it. "Perfect!" she turned around and yelled, "Soos!"

Soos walkedup to her eating a sandwich. "Sup, hambone."

"Wha'd'you think?" she asked. When he saw Stan's 'smile' Soos threw his sandwich and ran out the door, leaving it to swing on its hinges. Lillia poked her head from outside before going inside. "Where's Christina?" asked Mabel.

"She got called in." she said. "Didn't work out with the smile I'm guessing."

"This is going to take some really great training music." Mabel put a CD labeled 'Training Mix' in theplayer and pressed play.

They were still in the clearing with the wolves watching them and the radio quietly playing music. Dipper had a yellow flame, bigger than before, in her hand while Liam sat on the bench and read a book. Dipper's clothes and hair were slightly burned and her face was dirty. A few minutes later Liam put a bookmark between the pages before closing the book and put it aside. "I think that's enough training for one day." he stood up and she extinguished the flame. "Let's walk around the forest and get you cleaned up."

"But I haven't learned the spell yet."

"Patience. You can't just expect to learn a spell in one day. You have to rest." he raised his hand towards the books and muttered something, his hand and the books glowed red as the books shrunk until they were the size of his palm. He put them all in the basket and turned towards her.

"That's a pretty handy spell. Can it work on people, you know, just in case?"

"Yeah, it can. It's an advanced spell so I'll teach you when you're older. In the meantime you can use height altering crystals." he grabbed the basket and started walking with the pre-teen and wolves following.

She nodded, making sure to remember that. "Where are we going now?"

"Hot springs. I know some guys- well not guys, manotaurs- who have them. Don't worry they also have private ones." they walked for about an hour and a half before reaching a cave which was inhabited with minotaurs who wore white towels wrapped around their waists. Inside the cave there was a black couch, a darts board on the stone wall, a foosball table and a gong. "Hey guys!" greeted Liam and they turned towards him.

"Blood sucker!" one of the manotaurs came and enveloped him in a bone crushing hug which made her wince. "We haven't see you in years!" he said and released him. "What can we do for you?"

"Hey Chutzpar. Listen we need to borrow one of your hot springs. Dipper got a bit dirty during training." he said.

"Dipper?" the manotaur, Chutzpar, asked and looked at the girl.

"Hi." she gave a weak wave.

The manotaur frowned. "I'm sorry Blood sucker but females are not allowed here. Even if it is for you."

"Hmm. Well I guess that can't be helped." he turned to leave. "Peter will be really mad when he finds out tho." he said casually.

The manotaurs got scared. "You wouldn't tell the Hunter, would you Blood sucker?" asked Chutzpar, nervously.

"I don't have to. The moment he steps back in Gravity Falls he will learn and he will come here for you." he turned to Dipper. "Come on Dipper, let's go." the four walked towards the exits as the manotaur huddled.

"What are we gonna do now?" asked the brunette.

"Don't worry, they'll let you use the spring."

"Blood sucker!" said loudly the monster. "After discussing with the others we agreed to let her use our hot springs."

Liam grinned. "Great! Come along Dipper." they walked past the manotaurts, towards the springs. There many springs and at the side there were curtains that hid the other ones. "You can use those ones." he reached inside the basket as the opening glowed a little and pulled out a green fluffy towel with toiletries and gave theme to her. She looked at him curiously. "Magic pockets. You can store things everywhere. I'm leaving the mutts and the basket with you while I'm with the manotaurs. Inside you'll find clothes that are about your size; a gift from Red." he left her with the wolves and she went to take a bath.

After giving Stan a beauty mask with cucumbers (he kept eating the cucumbers), trying to shave his hairy chest (the hair kept growing back in just seconds), making him walk with books on his head, teaching him not to scratching himself, teaching him to make eye contact, putting a corset on him as to hide his stomach, continuing to shave his chest before giving up, teaching him to straighten his back and suck in his stomach, they gathered in the living room as to see the final result of all their hard work.

"Okay, Grunkle Stan. You started like this.." said Mabel, holding a before picture of Stan wearing a white tank top, a gold necklace, striped blue underwear, slippers, his glasses and fez. "But you became.. " she lowered the picture to reveal Stan even messier with sweat marks under his armpits, his glasses skewed, his right slipper missing and there was a cotton bud still in his left ear.

"Can I scratch myself now?" he asked.

"No! No, no, no! Is that throw up on your shirt?" she asked.

He glanced down. "I don't know how to answer that." she ripped the before picture with a groan.

"Face it, Mabel. Your uncle's unfixable. Like that spitting pie thing in the diner." said Lillia and Mabel grinned.

"Grunkle Stan, come with me!" she ran out the door before poking her head back inside. "And leave your pants at home!"

"With pleasure!" he followed her.

After cleaning herself in the hot spring Dipper pulled the basket behind the curtain to dress. After drying she looked at the clothes from Red and tried them on; surprisingly they fit (even the underwear). She wore a simple yellow dress with a black belt and black sandals. Her hat wasn't damaged, thankfully, but she decided to leave it in the basket. She went to find the blond with the wolves and found him talking with the manotaurs before he noticed her.

"You look amazing." he complimented,making her blush.

"Thanks."

He turned to the beasts. "Well, we'll be leaving."

"Um, thanks for letting me use your hot spring."

"It's no problem. Blood sucker toldwho you are and we'd like to apologise about before. We didn't know that you were the Yellow Wolf." Chutzpar seemed to regret his earlier attitude towards her.

"It's alright, I forgive you." they smiled at that. They said their goodbyes and left. "Where to now?"

"We're going to the Multi-bear. He has some things for me." he said. "You don't have to come but it will be a good for you to meet more of the inhabitants of the forest." they fell into a comfortable silence after that. They reached the cave where the Multi-bear lived in less than an hour.

"What is a Multi-bear?" the brunette asked when they stopped in front of the opening.

"Oh, you'll see." he said with a smirk. There was a roar from inside the cave and moments later the Multi-bear came outside. He was a large black bear with eight heads and twelve limbs. He had one main head which was surrounded by four other heads on his neck region. He had three other heads, one on his back attached to a partially formed separate body, and one in each of his two crotches. He had two sets of arms, and two sets of legs, as well as an additional, vestigial set of limbs on the partially formed body on his back. Dipper was speechless and took a step back. "Hey Multi!" greeted cheerfully the half vampire.

The bear smiled. "Liam! It's good to see you again. And who is this young lady with you?" he asked.

"This is Dipper, she's the Yellow Wolf."

He looked at her closer. "Ah, you certainly look the part."he turned towards the cave. "Come with me." they walked inside. They cave was like any other cave but there were bones scattered about on the floor and there was was a tape player with tapes lying laying around it. They walked deeper into the cave were there was surprisingly light, not from another opening, but from crystals that were stacked in a pile. They were a mix of red, orange and yellow and radiated heat and light. Near them was a thick quilt blanket with colourful pillows under it. Multi-bear walked towards the quilt and pulled out a small leather drawstring pouch and gave it to the blond. "There weren't many; I hope these are enough." he told Liam as he opened the bag. Inside were scales of various shades of blue and green.

"That's ok, they're more than enough." he opened the basket and pulled out a metal cookie box. "From Blue." Multi-bear took the box and thanked him. "We better get going. Thanks again for the scales."

"No problem." he saw them off and returned to his cave. They walked through the woods, chatting about the creatures inhabiting the forest before reaching the Mystery Shack. They said their goodbyes and Liam gave her her hat back before leaving.

Lazy Susan was hitting the pie trolley when Mabel and Stan walked in. She got off the step ladder when Mabel started talking. "Lazy Susan. Listen: I know he's not much to look at, but you're always fixing stuff in the diner, and if you like fixing stuff, nothing can use more fixing than my Grunkle Stan! Also women live longer than men so your dating pool is smaller and you should really lower your standards."

"So, Lazy Susan, what do you say?" asked Stan. Lazy Susan looked him up and down before leaving. Stan frowned and headed for the doorwith Mabel.

"Heeeeyyyy! Here's my number. Why don't you give me a call sometime?" she gave him the piece of paper.

"Really?!"

"REALLY!! HAHA. Also: here's some pie. On the house. For YOU!" she put the plate down and left.

Mabel squealed and they sat down. "We did it! When are you gonna call? You wanna call now? I don't have a phone. Let's buy a phone! We can put it on a credit card. Let's get a credit card."

"Mabel! Let a man enjoy his pie, huh?" he said but was also happy.

A few days later Stan was in the living room watching TV when the phone rang. "Oh, not again!" he groaned.

"Message number: 36" said the answering machine before playing the call. "Hey, handsome! It's me, Lazy Susan, calling to say hi: Hi! My cats also wanted to say hi! Say hi, Donald!"there was meow from a cat. "Good, Sandy, you say hi!" another meow. "Mr. Cat-face, now it's your turn to say-"there was a furious meow. "Mr. Cat-face!"she scolded. "Well, anyway call me! Call me back!"she hang up.

"How do I get out of this?!"

Chapter 7: A Little Party Never Killed Nobody

Chapter Text

The Mystery Shack was being decoratedby Soos, Wendle and Peter for a party later that evening. While the men were decorating the twins were sitting on a couch.

"Oh no, Mabel. I-I don't feel so good. I-BBBBLLLAAAA!" Dipper gagged, spraying silly string on her twin.

Mabel groaned. "Ohhh, Grunkle Stan, what did you feed us?! BBBBBLLLAAAA!" she also sprayed silly string. They continued to spray each other until Wendle ran up to them.

"Guys, guys, stop! Something terrible just happened!" he cried and they stared at him. He sprayed them with silly string. "BBBBLLLAAAA!" they laughed hysterically, spraying and throwing confetti at each other.

"Alright, alright! Party supplies are now off-limits." Stan took away the silly string cans and confetti.

"Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again?" asked Soos, tying a party banner.

"Nobody's. Thought this party might be a good way to get kids to spend money at the Shack." he unrolled a 'Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey' game.

"Nice!"

"The young people of this town want fun; I'll smother 'em with fun!"

"Maybe comments like that are why kids don't go to the Mystery Shack." Dipper commented, pouring Mabel some Diet Pitt Peach Cola.

"Hey, hey!" he took away the soda. "How about you make yourself useful and copy these flyers?" he gave her a clipboard with a pink flyer. It said 'PARTY AT THE MYSTERY SHACK; KIDS AND TEENAGERS WELCOME;FREE?' and there was a drawing of two party hats and a deer.

"Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!" said Mabel.

"Calendars, mugs, t-shirts and more! They got it all at the copier store! That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store." said Soos.

"Save the trouble. You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!" said Stan. The girls went to their Grunkle's office where the copier was covered with a sheet. Dipper removed it to reveal the old, busted up machine as several moths flew around it.

Mabel gasped. "Butterflies!"

Dipper lifted the lid up. "Does it even work?" she pressed a button and rested her forearm on it while reading the flyer. The copier turned on and made a copy of her arm with a puff of black smoke. The twins coughed and Mabel picked up the copy. "Success!" the paper suddenly rippled, causing her to drop it. The picture of Dipper's arm came to life and started crawling toward them. "AH!"

"Stay back!" Dipper threw Mabel's soda at it, disintegrating it. "Oh my gosh! Mabel, I think this copier can copy human beings!"

"Do you realize what this means?" asked Mabel and when Dipper didn't respond she sprayed her with silly string. "BBBBLLLAAAA!!".

After making copies they returned back to the room where the party would be held.

"Alright party people." said Stan holding a clipboard. "Let's talk business. Soos, because you'll work for free, and you begged, I'm lettin' you be DJ."

"You won't regret it, Mr. Pines. I got this book to teach me how to DJ R-R-Right!" he held up said book.

"Not encouraging." he turned to the redhead. "Wendle, you and Mabel will work at the ticket stand."

"What? But Grunkle Stan, this party is my chance to make new friends!" complained Mabel. Dipper was about to volunteer to take her place, thinking that this was the perfect chance for her and the teen to be alone, when she felt someone squeez her shoulder. She looked up and was met with Peter's disapproving look, as if he could read her mind. She stayed silent while her twin complained.

"Dipper." her grunkle said. "You'll be the hostess. And Peter... you don't actually work here so you can do whatever you want."

It was minutes before the party would begin and Mabel was in front of the mirror in their shared bedroom getting ready. She wore a dark grey sweater with a lightning bolt on it, a dark green skirt, a dark green headband, sneakers and a bow.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Dipper walking in.

She sighed and looked at her reflection. "I wanted to be at the party and make friends."

Dipper frowned, feeling guilty. "Mabel." said Peter from the door. He was wearing a red dress shirt with the top buttons undone, black slacks and black dress shoes. "You're supposed to be at the ticket booth in 5."

"See you later Dipper. Have fun." she left the room and Peter walked in.

"Here." he gave her a shopping bag. "Some clothes for the party."

"What's wrong with the clothes I'm wearing." she crossed her arms and Peter scrunched up his nose.

"They aren't exactly for a party." he turned towards the door. "I'll be outside when you're ready."

After putting on the clothes she exited the room where the young adult was waiting for her in the hallway. He looked her up and down and nodded. "That's better." she was wearing a jean shirt, a white skirt, a big brown leather belt, brown chucks and her hat. "Now let's go; the party can't start without it's hostess." he gave her a toothy grin. They walked to through the curtain and found themselves on top of the stairs with the party going on. Stan soon joined them and leaned on the railing.

"Can your uncle throw a party or what?" he asked. He wasn't wearing his usual suit, but instead a white dress shirt, brown slack and brown dress shoes.

"Not bad Mr.Pines." said Peter.

"The energy, it's electric! Uhh, lightning, lightning, lightning, lightning..." said Soos as he pressed several buttons on the sound machine, making various noises but not the one he needed.

"And if anyone wants to leave, I'm charging an exit fee of 15 bucks!"

Lee and Natalia, who were close to them, shoved their hands in their pockets and took out all the money they had. "We've only got 13!" said Natalia in panic.

"We're trapped!"exclaimed Lee and started banging on the window for help.

Peter was looking at the sea of faces and smirked when he saw a familiar one. "Dipper, come with me." he walked down the stairs towards a dancing guy, who had his back turned towards the brunette. Peter leaned towards him, his face near the guy's ear and gentle blew. The guy spun around while taking a step back.

"Peter! Don't do that!" said Liam, covering his ear and blushing.

Peter laughed at the blond. "I can't help it! You're cute when you blush." that only made the halfa blush more. "So, how's training?"

"It's going well. Dipper already learned the Phoenix spell in record time and is now learning a levitation spell." explained the blond, grabbing a cup of Pitt Cola.

"Really?" Peter raised an eyebrow at her, smiling. "You just started and you're already moving onto the next spell. Nice job, kid."

Dipper blushed at the compliment. "Well, uh, you know, it's easy once you learn not to put too much power into it."

"I guess I should start teaching you about your family tree then."

"Remember dudes," Soos read from his book. "whoever, um, party hardies, what? Gets the party crown!" he held up an ornate crown, decorated with purple jewels. "Most applause at the end of the night wins!"

"You should compete." said Peter as a blond girl with her two friends behind her walked up to Soos.

"And embarrass myself? No thanks." said Dipper, crossing her arms.

"I can't just give you the crown. It's sort of a competition thing." Soos told the girl, gaining their attention. She laughed and picked up the microphone. "Honestly, who's gonna compete against me? Fork girl?" she pointed to a raven haired girl with glasses. "Lizard lady?" she pointed to the auburn haired girl next to her who had a lizard on her shoulder and laughed.

Dipper clenched her hands and Peter smirked. "Come on. Go knock that bitch down a peg or two; I know you want to." she glanced at him for a second before walking towards Soos.

"I'll compete." she said and turned to the girl. "I'm Dipper."

"Is that your real name?" she asked mockingly.

"It's as real as your hair color." she replied. Around them people 'ooh'ed and muttered to each other about her retort.

The blond was shocked but recovered quickly. "It is real." she glared. "May the better partier win." she walked away with his friends.

"Nice comeback, kid." said Peter.

Dipper quickly realized what she did and paled. "Oh man, what have I done?! I can't sing in front of these people, I'll mess up!"

"Hey, hey! Dipper look at me." Liam grabbed her shoulders. "You're not gonna mess up. You'll do just fine." he smiled reassuringly at her. She looked at him and smiled. "Now show us your dance moves."

Outside Mabel and Wendle were selling tickets to a much larger than a minute ago crowd.

"Whoa! Sounds like the party's getting nuts." said the teen, looking through the window. Mabel also looked through the window but with a frown.

"Let the battle for the party crown begin!" said Soos from inside.

"I gotta get in there!" said Mabel.

"Yeah, me too. Too bad we can't be in two places at once." said the redhead turning toward the crowd. Mabel frown for a moment before an idea struck.

"We can! Cover me!" she told him before running off. The girl went to her grunkle's office and laid onto the copy machine. She pressed copy and the machine scanned her, the paper with her copy gently fell on the ground. The paper rippled after a moment and her clone came to life with a cheerful 'Hello!'. Mabel grinned and hopped off the machine as to have a closer look at her clone. Her clone looked just like except the sweater didn't have a lightning bolt.

"Hi! I need you to work in the ticket booth while I party. Oh, and tell Wendle to come here." she told her clone. The clone nodded and set off to do its task. Minutes later the redhead walked in the office.

"Woah, Mabel! I just saw you outside." he said, confused.

"I know! Lie down on the copy machine and we can make you a copy to work in the ticket booth." she pushed him towards the machine. The teen was confused but laid on the machine as the pre-teen made a copy. Wendle got off the machine just as his clone came to life.

"Sup." the clone made a lazy wave and the teen was shocked.

"No way." he circled it. "You look just like me."

"And he can work in the booth while we party." said Mabel.

"Alright. Clone me, you know what to do." the clone gave a salute and left the room. Moments later they also left, making sure to avoid Stan, and went to the party. "Woah." was all that Wendle said as they descended down the stairs.

"What the hell are you doing here?" they turned around and were met with an annoyed Peter. "Shouldn't you be outside?"

"We had someone cover for us." said calmly Wendle. When Peter turned to look through the window the redhead blocked his view.

Peter snorted. "Watch it, Corduroy. I could have you fired in less than a second with the favours Stan owes me; you too Pines." he turned and left them.

"Hey Wendle." said Robin as she walked towards him. "Check out my new guitar." she played some sick notes.

"Whoa, cool!" he said.

"I'm gonna leave you two alone." said Mabel and walked towards some chairs. She sat down and saw a lizard on a girl's shoulder. "Wow! You've got an animal on your body! I'm Mabel."

"Hi, I'm Grenda." she said. Grenda was a large girl with light-skin, auburn colored hair and a ponytail. She was wearing a pink shirt that read 'COOL', purple shorts, white socks and pink and purple sneakers. She also had a red mark on the right side of her cheek and a yellow barrette in the hair. "This is Candy." she gestured to the girl next to her. Candy had straight, black waist-length hair and wore round glasses with black rims, a striped jade shirt, a skirt, white socks, black shoes and black stud earrings. She waved at her with the hand that had forks tapped onto it.

"Why do have forks taped to your fingers?"

Candy put her hand into Grenda's bowl of popcorn and when she pulled it out each finger had some popcorn on it. "Improvement of human being."

"I've found my people!" whispered to herself Mabel.

"Always means forever

ALWAAAAAYYYSS!" the blond haired girl sang; her voice so high that it broke a plastic cup. "Forever."

"Man, what an awful voice!" complained Peter.

"Pacifica pulls ahead!" said Soos.

"Try and top that!" she gave Dipper the microphone and walked away.

"...I can't top that!" she said.

"Don't worry. I gave Soos a song that you know, you just go and sing your heart out." Liam pushed her towards the stage and the crowed cheered. She looked at the crowed before looking at the two young adults who were giving her thumbs up. Soos started the song and she grinned, tapping her foot with the beat.

"Hold on cause I'm letting go
I'm gonna lasso your heart like a rodeo
I'm gonna give you some till you want some more
Cause all I see is an open door

And I see where it's leading me
All of this energy been bottled up way too long
It's powerful, powerful
You see what I'm getting at
I'm ready for all of that
If I'm not a star, you're blind "

"I didn't know that Dipper could sing." said Wendle.

"Neither did I." said Mabel.

"Are you related to that girl?" asked Grenda.

"She's my twin."

The crowd cheered and dance asshe sang and Dipper even got bold enough to jump off the stage and made a finger gun at some of the partiers.

"I'm climbing high but there ain't no net
You'd like to see me jump a bit
Well everyday's just like Russian Roulette
I'm gonna play, play, play with no regrets"

She saw where Pacifica was and walked up to her. "I'm crushing them in my fist
Hushing their ignorance
You had your chance, now's mine"they cheered even more at that.

"Who's that?" asked Mabel.

"The most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest." explained Candy.

"I always feel bad about myself around her." said Grenda.

"I've got high heel stilettos
And I'm kicking in doors
And kissing your feet ain't what my lipstick's for"sang Dipper and walked away from the blond, letting her glare at her back. She sang the chorus before ending the song, panting with a big smile as the crowed cheered.

"Nice job, Dipper!" cheered Liam.

"Thanks. How did you know that I liked that song?"

"Peter told me."

"Now we're gonna bring it down for a minute. Ladies, dudes, now's the time." Soos said as he put on a slow song.

Peter smirked and poked Dipper."Now's you chance to dance with your redhead prince charming." she blushed at that and looked at Wendle, who was sitting on a couch with Robin.

"Can't. Robin's there." the older brunette looked at the raven haired teen before walking up to Soos and whispering something in his ear.

"Dudes, would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside. It is being stolen right now." he announced and Robin quickly ran out the door.

"I guess you can dance with him now." said Liam. The pre-teen shook her head and went to Wendle.

"How 'bout a dance, Blood?" asked Peter and Liam laughed.

"You do realize I am dating your sister."

Peter shrugged. Grabbing the halfa's hand, he twirled him before wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him so that they were touching chests. "I know." he purred, his breath tickling Liam's lips and started gently swaying them. Liam smiled softly and wrapped his arms around Peter's neck.

"Hey Wendle." the pre-teen sat down on the couch.

"Hey Dipper. Nice song, right?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." she realised something. "Shouldn't you be selling tickets?"

He glanced around. "I got someone to cover me but don't tell Stan."

"I won't." she looked at her shoes for a moment before looking at all the people who were dancing. She spotted Liam and Peter and smiled. "Would you like to dance?"

"Hmm? Sure." they went to the dance floor and started dancing, a bit awkwardly. Soon the song ended. "You wanna get something to drink?" she nodded. Grabbing some Pitt Cola they went to a hallway as to talk. "So hey, let's say everyone at this party gets stuck on a desert island. Who do you think the leader would be?"

"I dunno."

"I think I'd go with this lunatic." he pointed to a short, sweaty guy dancing.

She giggled. "I think that Peter would be the leader and Liam would be his right hand."

"Why those two?"

"Well...Peter is really strong and he strikes me as a guy who knows what to do to survive. And Liam is smart and he could help Peter with some decisions." he nodded at her reasoning.

"Good thinking." he drank from his plastic cup. "Wanna see something?" he pulled out his wallet where he had a photo with his thumb over someone. "Those are my brothers, and I'm," he lifted his thumb to show a younger, lanky version of himself with braces. "boooop."

"Ha, you were a freak!" she slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Yep."

She rubbed her neck. "You know, kids used to make fun of my birthmark before I started hiding it all the time."

"Birthmark?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, no! It's nothing! I-I was-I wa–why did I say that?" she groaned.

"No way, dude! Now you have to show me! Show me, show me!" she drank from her cup before giving it to him. Taking a deep breath she took off her hat and lifted her bangs to reveal a Big Dipper-like birthmark.

"The Big Dipper! That's how you got your nickname! I thought your parents just hated you or something. Hey, I guess we're both freaks." he returned her drink and they both clinked cups. Pacifica exited the bathroom and Wendle went inside.

"There you are lover girl." said Peter as he walked up to her. "They'll be announcing the winner for the crown soon."

"One more song, dudes, and then it's time for the bestowing of the party crown. It's gonna be the– " called Soos and played an explosion sound. "Nailed it."

"Ready to take the crown?"

She grinned. "Can't wait." they walked to the back to the party and sat on a couch with the half vampire already there. "How was your dance?" she asked and Liam blushed.

"Pretty nice." answered Peter. "What about yours?"

"Bit awkward."

"Let the party crown voting commence!" said Soos and they went to the stage but not before Liam took off her hat.

"Good luck, Dipper." said sarcastically Pacifica.

"Right back at you." shot back Dipper.

"Applaud to vote for Dipper." the crowd cheered loudly. "Let's check the applause meter." Soos raised his hand high. "Oh, oh, very good." she smiled.

"And the next contestant: Pacifica." the crowd cheered quietly. Seeing that the blond glared and people started to applaud but Peter also glared and they stopped, more afraid from the man who has gone to prison than a little girl. Soos barely raised his hand. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. The winner of the contest is Dipper Pines." he put the crown on her head and the crowd cheered. Dipper smiled and walked over to the two teens.

"Told you you'd win." said Liam and handed her hat back as people left.

"Soos! Play another song! This thing's going all night!" yelled Mabel.

"Way ahead of you, hambone." he played a song and Mabel, Candy and Grenda started to dance.

"Are you leaving already?" asked Dipper, seeing Peter walk to the exit.

"Nah, there's just some stuff I have to do outside and I'll be back." he exited. the pre-teen and the halfa looked at each other, shrugged and started to dance.

Peter dragged a gagged and tied up Mabel and Wendle deeper into the forest. He stopped once they were a good distance away from the shack.

"I'm sure you understand, but there can't be more than one Mabel and one Wendle." he turned his back to them and pulled out two buckets, filled to the brim with water, from some bushes. They started fighting their restrains more once they saw the water. Peter put down one of the buckets as to have a better grip on the other and walked to Wendle. "Goodbye." he gently tipped the bucket as water fell on Wendle, disintegrating him. Mabel choked on her gag as the clone became nothing but a puddle. "Now's your turn." he did the same to her before walking back to the shack to continue partying.

Chapter 8: Irrational Treasure

Chapter Text

The twins were eating nachos in their grunkle's car as he honked the horn. Mabel attached nachos from her chips bag to her ears and grinned. "Haha! Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!"

"That's debatable. Aw, come on, what's with all this traffic? And why is it all.." Stan squinted his eyes. "..covered wagons? Oh no! No! No!" he slammed the gas pedal hard and made a sharp turn to the right. "Not today! Not today!" he quickly hit the breaks when he almost ran over three women. He looked back and drove backwards.

"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" asked uneasily Dipper.

"We gotta get outta here. Before it's too late!" he stopped again. "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooooooo!" he screamed as wagons circled around their car. Mabel looked out the window and saw a brown cow. "I've gotta good feeling about today."

Once the wagons went away the twin got out the car and walked around. "Man. Look at the town." Dipper held up a Gravity Falls postcard for a second and when she lowered it the town was in a sepia shade due to a pane of dirty glass.

"Dirty glass. We got dirty glass! Dirty glass." was called out by a worker, holding one of the sides of the pane.

"Ah, boy. It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded." explained their grunkle when he joined them.

"Welcome to 1863!" said Toby Determined, holding newspapers.

Stan rolled up his sleeve and shook his fist. "I will break you, little man!" Toby ran away from the annoyed grunkle and crashed into a barrel because he wasn't looking.

"Wow! Look! Candle dipping!" exclaimed Mabel as an old woman demonstrated how to make candles to some young girls.

"Whoa, gold panning!" said Dipper, watching Old Man McGucket gold panning.

"I now pronounce you man and wife." announced a priest, in front of him stood a man and a woodpecker. The bird pecked the man's hand. "I do!" said the man.

"What chu talking 'bout?" tilted her head Mabel.

"Back in the day it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers. Weirdos." said an annoyed Peter as he walked up to them and Dipper greeted him.

"Oh, it's still legal." the newlywed man put a hand on his shoulder where the woodpecker was perched. "Verylegal." he walked away.

"Creep." sneered Peter and a man announced that the opening ceremonies were about to begin.

"Grunkle Stan, you coming?" asked Mabel, turning to the senior.

"No, thank you! Just remember if you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me." he warned.

"There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!" said Dipper.

"Well hornswabber my haversack!" said Mabel. They both spat on the ground before running off laughing.

"Dead to me!" yelled Stan. Peter groaned and followed the twins but in a slower pace. They ran to a crowd that had assembled around a large stage.

"Here-ye, here-ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence." announced sheriff Blubs.

"Woo! I got a bell!" said deputy Durland while ringing said bell.

"Oh, no! Police, my purse!" cried out an old woman whose purse just got stolen.

"Ring ring! Ring ring! Woo!" continued to ring his bell Durland.

Sheriff Blubs chucked. "He sure loves his bell."

The twins and Peter walked to the front of the crowd just as Pacifica, who was wearing a pioneer styled blue dress with an opossum fur hat, started talking into the microphone. "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest." she put her right foot on a rock as to look like her grandfather's statue. "I'm also very rich." the crowd applauded her. "Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself."

Mabel gasped. "Audience participation!"

"I'm not sure Mabel." said Peter. "You and Dipper look alike and she might mistake you for her. She isn't exactly friends with Dipper after that singing contest."

"Pfft. We don't look that much alike." she said before running onstage.

"Our first newcomer is..." the blond glared at Mabel, mistaking her for her sister. "...Dipper."

"Ye-wait, what? No, I'm Mabel." she corrected before continuing. "Now, let's get this Pioneer Day started!" she blew a raspberry. "Right guys? USA! USA!" the crowd started to chant 'USA! USA!' and even one of the spectators started to cry tears of joy.

"I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous." Pacifica looked at Mabel's sweater. "I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?"

Mabel clenched her sweater as to hide the design. "Hey, I can be serious!" she tried to glare but it was nothing more than her pouting and puffing her cheeks.

"You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon." Mabel touched her nacho earrings and blushed in embarrassment. "Haha, wow, I'm embarrassed for you." Pacifica turned to the audience. "Give her a hand everybody!" the crowd clapped their hands. Mabel walked off the stage as Pacifica asked. "Now who wants to hear more about me?"

Dipper made her way to Mabel with Peter hot on her heels. They found her sitting on the steps of the Nataniel Northwest's monument.

"You ok, kid?" asked the older brunette.

She sighed. "I need some old-timey butterscotch."

Stan had his car stuck in the mud and was trying to get it out when a man with a donkey walked by him. "Hey there, uh, donkey boy! Give me a hand with my car, huh?"

"Here in 1863, I have never heard-tell of a 'car'. Pray-tell, what is this magic wheel box?" the man asked, poking it with a crowbar.

"Ah, c'mon, Steve, you're a mechanic for Pete's sake! Cut me some slack."

"'Slack?' I am unfamiliar with this bold, new expression." the man, Steve, continued to play dumb which angered the eldest Pines.

"I can't take this anymore!" Stan grabbed Steve by the collar and shook him. "I'm getting dumber every second I'm here!"

Blubs and Durland ran up to Stan. "Are we gonna have to intervene here?"

"Oh, look. The 'Constable'. What are you gonna do? Throw me in 'ye stocks'?" laughed Stan in their faces; moments later he found himself in a pillory. "Aw, c'mon!" he groaned. He saw Gideon Gleeful walking by, holding a bag of tomatoes and wearing a old fashioned nobleman attire. "Hey, nice outfit, Gideon. You actually look less girly than usual."

"Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble tomato farmer, selling his wares. Whoops, I dropped one." he threw a tomato in Stan's left eye. "Whoops, I dropped another one." he threw another one in his right eye.

"Ugh! PIONEER DAY!" screamed at the skyStan.

"Dipper, Peter, can I ask you guys something? Do you think I'm silly?" asked Mabel looking them in the eye.

"No comment." said crossly Peter.

"Uh, nnnoooo?" was Dipper's answer to which Mabel groaned.

"I knew it! The nacho earrings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke." she threw her nacho earrings and took off her sweater, tying it around her waist.

"C'mon, Mabel, you love that sweater!" said Dipper.

"I did before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything!" she sulked.

"Pacifica!" Dipper stood up and glared at the statue of Nathaniel Northwest. "Why does she think that being related to the town founder means she can treat everyone like garbage."

"...We could solve the code that would lead us to the truth about Nathaniel Northwest not being the founder of Gravity Falls." said off-handedly Peter.

"What!?" exclaimed the twins. "There's a chance that Pacifica's family is a fraud?" asked Dipper and got a nod in response. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Because if you haven't noticed I'm not having a good day." he snapped and they flinched. He sighed, pulled out a folded piece of paper and gave it to Dipper. "Here's the code." she unfolded it to reveal a complex series of letters, symbols and words. "If you solve it this you could reveal a major conspiracy."

"Really?" asked Mabel.

"I got to investigate this!" said Dipper.

"Wait! I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right?"

"Definitely." Peter stood up.

"Well, if I help you crack this code, then nobody could call me silly again!"

"What are we waiting for then? Let's go to the library." said Peter, eyeing the monument. "Or someone might beat us to it." he made eye contact with Dipper and she nodded, understanding what he meant by that. They quickly left and Peter would glance behind every few minutes. Behind the statue were eavesdropping sheriff Blubs, deputy Durland and Christina. THe sheriff pulled out his walkei-talkie. "This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia!"

"What?! And what are you doing about it?"

"I'm following them right now."

"Find them and stop them. There's no room for error."

"I understand. Blubs out." he turned to Durland and Christina. "Deputy Durland, Christina, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready." said the brunette, although on the inside she was nervous.

"Woo!" rang his bell Durland.

"Hehe, if being delightful was crime, you'd be breaking the law." chuckled Blubs.

"Let's go get 'em!"

Peter, Dipper and Mabel were in a secluded corner of the Gravity Falls library, trying to solve the code. Well, more like, Dipper and Mabel were trying to solve the code while Peter was reading a book called 'How to Be a Person: The Stranger’s guide to College, Sex, Intoxicants, Tacos and Life Itself' with a frown.

"Alright, Mabel, if we can prove Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it will finally put Pacifica in her place." said Dipper.

"And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly. I'm serious." she held up a random book and lapped up candy from the table into her mouth with her tongue. "Seeeeriousss..."

Dipper put some slides in a projector. "We just need to crack this code. Let me see... it's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not, wait-of course! The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!"

"It's so obvious!" said Mabel.

Dipper grabbed a lit candle. "Alright, let's just light this sucker up and-Mabel!"

Mabel was wearing a paper hat made of the document. "Mwop! I just made a hat. Ugh, I just did something silly again." she blew a raspberry.

"Wait, Mabel. You folded it into a map!" she looked at the candle. "And I was gonna burn it..."

"Get down!" whispered harshly Peter as he hid under the table.

"What's the matter?" asked Dipper once she and Mabel were under the table.

"Cops." was all he said. They followed his gaze and saw that at the entrance to the library were the sheriff, deputy and Christina. The teen met their eyes and grimaced. She glanced at the two men with her who were talking with a librarian before meeting their eyes again and making a 'shoo'ing motion with her hand. Peter shook his head, making a walking motion with his hand, pointed to the door behind her and holding up one finger. Her lips thinned before giving a short nod. Christina turned to the cops, pointed somewhere and told them something to which they started running in that direction. She looked at them again before following. "Let's go." Peter stood up and ran out the entrance with the twins. "Where to now?"

"This map should lead us to..." Mabel looked at the map. "...The Gravity Falls Museum of History."

"...And here are your free Pioneer Day passes, and your balloons, one blue and two pinks." handed them the balloons a woman named Sue. Peter thanked her with a smile and they walked inside.

"What are we gonna do next, steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage?" asked Mabel.

"Ewww, no." said Dipper. "According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right... here!" she stopped in front a triangular exhibition piece mounted on the wall.

"Let's figure this one out quickly." said Peter. "Christina's diversion won't last forever."

"I've been meaning to ask you that; why is she helping us?" asked Dipper as she analyzed the exhibit.

"Let's just say she owes me more than one favour."

Mabel walked over to a bench and sat down. "Hey painting, be less stupid!" she turned upside-down on the bench and gasped. "It worked!"

"What?" Dipper ran over and laid upside-down on the bench. When looking at the painting upside-down it revealed to be an angel pointing. "Wait! It's not abstract, it's upside-down!"

"I think I've seen that statue at the cemetery."

"Let's go! Quick!" they stood up too quickly and got dizzy, thankfully Peter grabbed their shoulders before they could fall.

"I'm sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons." said the woman from before and the young adult looked back.

"Why did we even come?" asked disappointedly Durland.

"Officer Blubs."said a man over the sheriff's walkie-talkie. The cops ran into the museum so they were out of earshot. The girls luckily weren't dizzy anymore so they ran out of the museum with Blubs calling after them. Blubs and Durland tried to chase after them but got stuck at the door with Christina still inside.

Stan was trying to unlock the lock of the stocks with a hairpin in his mouth. "C'mon! C'mon, ugh!" he dropped the hairpin. A hand picked it up.

"Well, if it isn't Dipper and Mabel's uncle, Mr. Pines. Looking for this?" Pacifica held up the pin.

"Yeah, yeah. What d' ya want, money?" he rolled his eyes.

"I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls." she said smugly.

"Oh sure, you want that in writing?" she gave him a pen, which he took with his mouth, and held up a notebook as he wrote something. "There you go." she looked at what he wrote which read 'YOU STINK!'. "Ha! I did that with my mouth!" Pacifica whistled, catching the attention of people with tomatoes and pointed at Stan. "Aw, come on!" was what he said before being hit with tomatoes.

The trio were in the cemetery looking at the angel statue pointing off in the distance. "Ah... The statue must be pointing to the next clue." Dipper looked in direction statue was pointing but then turned back when Mabel spoke. She had put the statue's finger in her nose and Peter was looking at her in disgust.

"Oh, gross! She's picking my nose!" she laughed. The tip of the finger bended upwards and a secret door in the grave opened.

"Mabel, look!" said Dipper and Peter walked closer to the entrance.

"Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam!" she tried to jump down from statue but her nose was still there so the finger tugged on her nose. "Ahh! Ow. Ow. Ow." she cried out in pain. Peter rolled his eyes and got her off the statue. "Thanks."

They descended down the stairs, Peter's flashlight the only source of light the further down they went. "Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode. I feel serious. Mmm." Mabel ate a candy and threw the wrapper over her shoulder.

"Okay, look out for booby traps." warned her twin and she laughed. While laughing, Mabel accidentally stepped on a raised tile that triggered darts to fly out of the wall towards them. "Tranquilizer darts!" Dipper grabbed her sister's hand and ran, maneuvering through them with Peter close behind yelling.

"What did we say about traps?!"

They were able to dodge the darts but tripped over a rock and fell down a tunnel which lead to an underground hiding place filled with historical items. "It's a treasure trove of historic-y, secret-y things." Mabel picked up a top-secret document. The first page was about the secret of Abraham Lincoln's hat, and showed two photos of Lincoln with his top hat in one and him without his top hat with a hand sticking out of the top of his head, in the other. Mabel looked at the next page, where there was a picture of Benjamin Franklin wearing earrings, and the sub-caption says that he was secretly a woman. "Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly wasa woman!"

Dipper was looking around and found a document titled 'Northwest Cover-up'. "Hey, jackpot! Now we'll find out who the real town founder was." Peter and Mabel walked up to her as she read."Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud... as well as a waste-shoveling village idiot"she laughed. "Oh, bad news for Pacifica. Wait till the papers hear about this!"

"Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, they can never call me silly!"

Peter read on."The true founder of Gravity Falls was sir lord, Quentin Trembley, III, Esquire."he paused. "Who the f*ck is that?!"

"That's none of your business!" sheriff Blubs said. "And it's not good to swear in front of children."

"Whoo! We gotcha! Whoo!" Durland said before repeating weakly. "Whoo! Hmm whoo-hoo." he passed out, falling on his face, several tranquilizer darts were sticking out of his back.

"...He got hit with quite a few of the darts." said Christina, not meeting Peter's eyes.

"But Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security." said Blubs.

"Yeah! Ye-ah," Durland panted, putting his hands on his knees. "woo. I think I might be colorblind now."

"What do you mean, 'national security?'" asked Dipper.

"And who is Quentin Trembley, anyway?" asked Mabel.

"See for yourself." Blubs removed hat and took out a reel of film. He put it into a projector and the projection screen showed a countdown in black and white.

"Aww, it's black and white?!" whined Mabel and Dipper quickly shushed her.

The reel started, revealing a government official in an office."If you're watching this, then you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete."he looked offscreen."-What? No? Ho! Well, that's a relief!"he looked back at the camera."Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley: The eighth-and-a-half president of the United States."they showed a framed opal picture of a man with a long nose, sideburns that connected with his mustache and a very small pair of spectacles rested atop his nose.

"President?" asked in unison the twins, and even Peter arched an eyebrow. "Eighth-and-a-half?"

"After winning the 1837 election in a landslide,"on the video, a picture of Quentin Trembley standing next to the other presidential candidates is shown. Then another where alandslide has killed the other candidates andQuentin Trembley cheering."Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president.He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the supreme court, and issued the de-pants-ipation proclamation. His state of the union speech was even worse."the video showed a cassette player with a reenacted recording of Trembley's voice. "The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders!" the government official continued."He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he namedGravity Falls, after plummeting into it at high speed."a picture of Trembley riding a horse backwards was shown."Trembley's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced byWilliam Henry Harrisonas President and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of president Trembley's body are unknown."

"Until now." the sheriff gestured to Quentin Trembley, who was encased in an amber-colored rectangle.

"Is that amber?" asked Peter.

"The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle.Smooth move, Mr. President! Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. And now, thanks to you, it's complete."

"Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's" the deputy held up one of Mabel's candy wrappers. "trail of candy wrappers?"

"Ugh, silly!" Mabel face-palmed and Peter glared at her.

"Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talkin' about it." said Blubs.

"Does that mean-?" started Dipper and Mabel continued. "Are you going to kill us?!" Peter quickly stood in front of the sisters.

"WHAT?!" screeched Christina, who was quiet until now.

"No, no." assured Blubs. "We're just gonna escort you and all this stuff back to Washington. You ain't comin' back, by the way."

Dipper, Mabel and Peter were trapped in a crate with Quentin Trembley's body on a train headed for Washington. "Anyone there?! Help help help!" called out Mabel.

"Hey! Let us out!" yelled Dipper, banging on the wood. Peter was hitting it with his shoulder but it was a fruitless effort.

"Oh. I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. This is all my fault." said Mabel.

"You can say that again." snorted Peter, looking for a way out.

"Pacifica had me pegged all along. I'm just a silly failure, like that embarrassing president what's-his-name." she ate a piece of peanut brittle and in the process broke the block and freed the president.

"It is I, Quentin Trembley." the man ripped his pants off, leaving him in his underwear.

"How the f*ck are you alive?" asked Peter, looking him over.

"Peanut brittle reallydoes have life-sustaining properties! You're not silly, you're brilliant!" said Mabel.

"And so are you, dear girl, for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!"

"He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside-down; Your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!" praised her her twin.

"By Jefferson! We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box." said the old president.

"It's a crate, Mr. President."said Mabel.

Trembley pulled out a key from his pocket. "Good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America!" he started to repeatedly slam the key at the side of the crate.

"That's not gonna work." stated Peter, already annoyed.

"Wood! My age-old enemy. In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived."

Dipper smiled, looking at her sister. "I think I know who can help you."

"Hmm. How 'bout... that hole?" she pointed at a tiny hole at the corner. "We will leap through it!" they both leaped at the hole, trying to go through it. Peter growled and Dipper raised an eyebrow at that.

"What's up with you?" she stood next to him.

"Nothing." he said, glaring at Mabel and Trembley.

The pre-teen frowned. "You've been annoyed all day, that can't be nothing." he looked at her from the corner of his eye.

They were silent for a moment before he spoke. "I saw Liam today." she didn't say anything and he continued. "He was with Lillia." he spat the name like it was venom despite it being his sister's name.

"And? They're a couple, it's normal for them to be together." she reasoned and Peter's frown deepened.

"...I don't like it." she was about to ask him why when the crate fell apart.

"Well, we didn't fit through the hole. Let's rebuild the box and try again!" said Trembley but Dipper quickly shot down that idea.

"We gotta get out of here!"

"Also good!" they open a door leading to the next compartment and see Christina, getting ice.

She saw them and paniced. Looking back towards a door she grimaced. "Use the ladder to the roof, you got five minutes." she quickly said and slammed the door at their faces. They run to the other side and climb up a ladder to the emergency escape. Trembley pulled out his key and started pressing it against the door even though there was no lock.

"Give me that!" Dipper took the key away from him, turned the handle and they all ran out on the roof.

"What now?" yelled Mabel over the wind, her hair flipping around and lightly hitting her. Soon after the policemen and woman came out the escape.

"There..is..no..escape! I gotta take a knee." said Blubs, trying to catch his breath from the running.

"Are you okay? Can I get you anything?" asked a worried Durland and Blubs smiled at him.

"Edwin, darlin', you are a diamond in the rough."

"Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?" yelled Dipper. There wasn't anyway out, unless they wanted to jump from a moving train and be severely injured, if not dead.

"I've got no choice! Our orders come from the very top!" yelled the sheriff and Peter got idea.

Turning to the two centuries old president he asked. "Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?"

"No, sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window." he said completely serious.

The brunette smirked. "Then technically you're still legally the President of the United States."he turned to the police. "You've gotta answer tothisguy now!"

The policemen were bewildered while Christina grinned. "As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. And- and go on a delightful vacation." the president ordered and got hit by a metal rail as the train went by. "Ow! Mmm yeeees!"

"Vacation?" Blubs turned to his partner. "What place have you always wanted to visit? One, two-"

"Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan!" they said in unison.

Blubs and Durland were wearing hawaiian shirts and waving at the group they were to arrest and colleague as the train departed. Once the train was gone Quentin got on his knee to look at Mabel in the eye. "You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. congressman." he took out and unfolded a hat, placing it on the girl's head gently.

"I'm legalizing everything!" she said.

"f*ck yeah!" grinned Peter, already making plans for what he will do after parting with the others.

"And Rosalynn." he said to Dipper.

"It's Dipper." she corrected quickly.

"You dear girl are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So I'd like you to have my President's Key!" he gave her the key he had 'used' multiple times before. "And, finally, Philip..."he began.

"Peter."

"For your feisty nature I'm giving you a Colt Revolver." he gave him said gun. "You'll have a lot more use of it than I would."

The group, minus Christina as she had to pack for her vacation, were back at Gravity Falls with Trembley telling them a story. "And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours.Bottom line,George Washingtonwas ajerk."

"A-greed!" said Mabel. She saw Pacifica alone and ran up to her. "Hey, Pacifica! I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States! Who's silly now?" Pacifica continued to look ahead.

"What? Who is that idiot?" the blonde pointed at Trembley, who had his fists up and chasing a bald eagle.

"Put up your dukes, you bald fiend!" he yelled.

"The eighth-and-a-half president of America. I know what you're thinking, 'How is he still alive?'. Well, turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle and it-" she was cut off by the Northwest heir bursting into laugher.

"Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat, by the way." her parents laughed mockingly at that.

"Good one, daughter."her father, Preston Northwest, said.

"Ooh! I see your car is stuck in the mud. Enjoy walking home!" she walked away and got into a sedan.

"Aren't you going to tell her about her fraud of a grandfather?" asked Peter the young brunette.

"You know what, guys? I've got nothing to prove. I've learned to see silly as awesome!" she said proudly putting on her sweater with a smile.

The Northwest car passed them. "Well, I haven't learned anything!" Dipper grabbed the documents and whistled. "Hey, Pacifica!" she ran up to the stopped car. "Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, and your whole family is a sham. Deal with it!" she handed the documents to Pacifica. The the car drove away and Pacifica looked out the back window shocked. "Man, revenge is underrated. That feltawesome!"

"I know, right?" Peter's chest swelled up with pride at that.

"Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here..." Trembley handed a bill to Dipper.. "On the negative twelve dollar bill."

She examined it and smiled. "Whoa.This is worthless."

"It'slessthan worthless, my girl. Trembley away!" he jumped backwards onto a horse and rode away.

They watched him ride before Mabel asked. "Where do you think he's going?"

"Probably jump off a cliff." the young adult shrugged.

The twins were with their grunkle, who was still locked and was telling them about his day. "And thenSooscame by and talked to me for like, anhour."

"You've been through so much." said Mabel. Dipper used the president's key to unlock the stocks and was very pleased when it worked.

"So what's with the top hat?" asked the elder Pines, rubbing his sore wrists.

"I am a congressman."

"Pardon me?"

"You are officially pardoned." the twins laughed to Stan's confusion.

"Oi. You are a never gonna make sense, are you, kid?"

"No, I'm not, Grunkle Stan. No, I'm not. Mabel, away!" she jumped backwards and crashed into something. "I'm okay!"

Dipper was walking around when she saw Peter looking intensely at something. Smiling, she walked up to him and saw what he was looking - no, glaring at. Across the street were Liam and Lillia dressed in pioneer clothes, talking and holding hands. Lillia closed the distance between them and whispered something to her boyfriend and giggled. Peter grabbed an apple and crushed it with his bear hand, the juice and pieces of the fruit flying everywhere and dirtying his shirt as he bared his teeth.

"...You really hate the fact that they're dating, don't you?" he startled when he heard her but his eyes didn't leave the couple.

"...Yes." was his simple answer.

"Why is that, if you don't mind me asking?" she took a step forward as to see his expression better.

He didn't answer, just watched the couple interact with each other, not noticing the daggers the male brunette was shooting at them. Only after they rounded a corner and disappeared out of sight did he turn to her, and she could see the emotions in his eyes: sadness, anger, jealousy and longing. He sighed and sat on a square bale. "...I don't think she deserves him." he was looking at his shoes, frustrated at something but he wasn't sure at what; or at least that was what he told himself.

"You're jealous." stated Dipper and he immediately snapped his head up, so fast that she wondered how he didn't get a whiplash.

"Ëxplain." he commanded.

"You dislike the fact that Lillia is dating Liam. You think that you should be the one dating him because you love him, Peter." he opened his mouth to protest at that claim but she continued. "I saw how you two danced at the party. How happy you were when he was in your arms." he looked down again. "But you can't force them to break up; and that is not a challenge." she added quickly before he got any ideas. "They have to break up on their own, because of their own reasons." she gave him a small smile. "But that doesn't mean you can't keep flirting with him until then." he looked at her surprised before he smiled, not smirking but smiling.

"Thanks, brat... You give pretty good advice."

Chapter 9: Who needs second chances when you have a time machine?

Chapter Text

It was morning in Gravity Falls and a fair was being constricted behind the Mystery Shack.

"There she is, Mabel; the cheapest fair money can rent. I spared every expense." Stan told his niece. A scream was heard, followed by a loud crash. Dust cleared to reveal Dipper in a broken sky tram car.

"I think the sky tram is broken. Also, most of my bones." she got out of the wreckage.

"Ha ha, this girl. Alright, alright. I've got a job for you two." Stan pulled out a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates with the rate 'A+' on them. "I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit." he handed them to Dipper who gave half to her twin.

"Grunkle Stan, is that legal?" asked Mabel.

"When there's no cops around, anything's legal!" he walked up to Soos, who was using a blowtorch on the handle of a dunk tank. "Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along?"

"Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines."

Stan knocked on the target and the seat barely moved. "Ha, you've got it rigged from here to Timbuktu! There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!"

"Yeah, except for like a futuristic laser arm cannon."

"Ah. Hey, you haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya? Darn thing went missing." he searched through the toolbox next to Soos.

"Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing-um took it."

"You've been spending too much time with those kids." he kept digging around the box and mumbled. "Alright, let's see where'd I put that thing."

A few feet away from them, behind some portable toilets hid a man. He was heavyset, light-skinned and bald, wearing gray and cream goggles and a light gray jumpsuit with simple white boots. "The mission is proceeding as planned." he said to his white watch. "Over." he used Stan's missing red screwdriver to fix his watch, making his jumpsuit change into different sceneries before becoming see through but leaving the skin that was showing (his head and hands) visible.

"It's 12 o'clock!" Stan announced using a megaphone. "The Dunk Tank is now open!" people covered their ears when the megaphone screeched. "Step right up, and dunk me folks!" Stan pointed at a guy eating a pretzel. "I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!" people gathered around the dunk tank. "That's right! Muffin-Top, High-Pants! Who wants a piece of me?" tourists threw balls at the target but failed to knock down Stan who laughed at their attempt. "Ahahahaha! Come back anytime, folks! Ahahahaha!"

Dipper and Wendle were eating corn dogs that were shaped like question marks.

"How do they get them into this shape? It's unnatural." asked the pre-teen.

"But Dipper, they're so..." the teen held up his corn dog at the end of the sign that said 'DELICIOUS'. "delicious?" they laughed at the joke. A little bit of mustard dripped on the redhead's sleeve. "Aw, boo! I'll be right back."

"I'll be right here! Haha!" she laughed and whispered. "I love you!"

"Look at you." said Peter, holding a bag of popcorn. "Finally decided to make a move, haven't you?"

"Yeah! I mean, I gave you advice on how to deal with your crush now I guess it's time I do something about mine."

He smiled and ruffled her hair. "About time you did. Can't have you giving great relationship advice without you following it yourself." she blushed at that. "I'm guessing you were the one who asked to go to the fair?" he got a nod as an answer. "Not bad." he sniffed the air. "You smell smell a whole gallon of hairspray?"

As if on cue, Robin walked up to them. "Hey, have either of you guys seen Wendle around?"

"Who wants to know?" asked the young brunette.

Robin took some of Peter's popcorn. "Yeah, I got some new super tight jeans." she put her leg on a crate as to show off. "Thought he might want to check 'em out."

Peter looked at her up and down before snorting. "They make your butt lookbig andflat."

She glared at him, blushing in embarrassment. "No they don't, you pervert!" yet she looked behind herself.

Dipper snickered at that. "You know, I think I saw him in the Bottomless Pit. You should really go jump in there."

The raven glared at her. "Maybe I will, smart girl." Peter pulled the girl away when Robin tried to purposely bump shoulders with her.

"What a bitch." said the young adult.

"Yeah, but she's a bitch with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep her away from Wendle at all costs."

"Don't worry kid. I'll help you almost every step of the way." reassured Peter.

"Almost?" she raised an eyebrow and he snorted.

"You think the reason I came here was to have fun. I'm here to sabotage Liam's date." she gave him a disapproving look to which he rolled his eyes. "Where's your sister? I haven't seen her all day."

"Last time I saw her she was with Christina." she smiled when she saw Wendle approach them. "Hey, what did I miss?"

"Oh, nothing." she lied and Wendle looked at Peter wearily.

"Peter." he greeted.

Peter gave him a grin in return which send shivers down the redhead's spine and turned to the young girl. "I should get going. Don't want something bad to happen on my sister's date." he turned to leave. "Later, kid."

"So how exactly do youknow him?"

"I met him when solving grunkle Stan's wax figure's murder."

"Ah." he looked around and spotted a stand. "Whoa, check it out! I don't know if it's a tiger or a dog, but I want one!" they walked up to the stand.

"My uncle taught me the secret to these games. You aim for the carnie's head, and take the prize when he's unconscious." said Dipper and Wendle laughed. "One ball, please." she payed the man and he gave her a ball.

"You only get one chance."

She looked at Wendle, who gave her a thumbs up, before looking at the pyramid of bottles. "And a-one and a-two and a-three!" she threw the ball but it hit the edge of the table, bounced back and hit Wendle in the eye.

"AH! MY EYE!" he cried out in pain.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Wendle! Are you okay?" she panicked.

"Does it look swollen?" he removed his hands to reveal a black eye.

"Everything's gonna be fine! Don't worry! I'll-I'll go get some ice!" she ran to the back of the shack where the ice box was before running back. "Where is he, where is he?" she ran into a man, dropping and spilling the ice everywhere. "Hey, watch where you're going, man!" she scraped the ice while the man grabbed what seemed to be a tape measure and ran off. After finishing scraping the ice she ran to Wendle but stopped when she heard Robin.

"Just ease your eyeball into that freezy cone." she was holding a freezy cone against Wendle's black eye.

"Robin, thanks. That's really sweet. The gesture, and the flavored syrup."

"Yeah, I was just here at the right place at the right time. Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you.. we've been spending a lot of time together and I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out with me?" she shyly asked.

The redhead thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Sweet!"

A balloon shaped like a hearth was popped behind the horrified girl with a dart. All of the ice fell out of the bag when she released her hold on it. Peter walked up to her looking very pleased with himself. "How's the date going, kid?"

"Everything is different now." she said. He raised an eyebrow before following her gaze and raising the other one too.

Night soon fell and the lights on the Ferris wheel were turned on as Dipper laid on a 'Slopey Toss' game.

"Uh, are you gonna move?" a guy wanting to play the game asked. She sighed and he left disappointed. Peter walked up to her holding a can of Pit Cola and a can of beer.

"How are you holding up?" he gave her the cola.

"Thanks." she stat up. "Peter, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?"

"Every damn day." he took a swing of his beer. "Why?"

"Well, Wendle only went out with Robin because she was there with the ice and he needed the ice because of the baseball, and I would've had the ice if it wasn't for..." she gasped. "that guy!" she pointed to a bald guy. "Hey, you! Toolbelt! You ruined my life!" she waked up to him.

"Huh?" the man looked at her in confusion.

"I've seen you before. What's your deal? Are you following these kids around?" asked Peter, balling his hand into a fist.

"AAAAAGH! My position has been COMPROMISED! Assuming stealth mode!" the man twisted his watch, making his suit change to different backgrounds. "Color match! Initiating color match! Come on, dang it!" he took out the stolen screwdriver and tried to fix the watch.

"...You're not from this time era are you?" asked Peter, hand going to his gun.

"Uh, NO!! Who told you that?! MEMORY WIPE!" he threw a wet wipe in Dipper's face.

She examined the wipe. "This is a baby wipe."

The man sighed in defeat. "All right, you've cornered me. I'm... a time traveler."

"So wait a minute, if you're from the future, do you have like a time machine, or something?" the girl asked.

"That's... kinda how it works." he said. Behind him was the Ferris wheel where Robin and Wendle came into view.

"Can I borrow it?" asked innocently Dipper.

"Come on," whined Dipper. "can I use your time machine just once?"

"No! Out of the question! You know, this is sensitive extremely complicated time equipment." he pulled out the machine which looked like a tape measure to show them.

"That a f*cking tape measure, dumbass." said Peter.

"It's bad to swear around kids." nagged the bald man.

"f*ck you, I can do whatever I want."

"Who are you?" quickly butted in Dipper before the men started fighting.

"Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year 207̃012 (sñeventy-twelve)." he pulled out his futuristic ID card. "My mission is to stop a time anomaly that is suppose to happen at this very location! But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or I'm just really tired..." he sat down on a crate.

Peter smirked, getting an idea. "You sound like you could use a break."

Dipper followed his lead. "Definitely. May we recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?"

Blendin stood up. "You know what? What the heck! I'm worth it!" he started to leave. "But I've got my eye on you! Ehhh... ehhh..." he headed to a barrel ride, which Soos operated. "One please."

"Uh, sorry dude but you're gonna have to take your belt off for the ride. One of your tools might fly off and accidentally fix something." explained the handyman.

Blendin took off his belt and gave it to Soos. "Guard it with your life."

"I will watch it like a hawk, dude." promised the handyman. Once Blendin was in a barrel Soos started the ride, he set the belt on a barrel next to him. Peter reached over and grabbed the belt. As he was walking away from the ride Soos yelled, "Like a hawk!"

Peter grumbled. "What a sh*tty hawk." which earned him a slap on his arm from Dipper.

Dipper and Peter were sitting on a couch on the porch of the shack, examining the time machine. "So the plan is to go back in time and make sure you don't mess up your throw, right?" asked Peter and Dipper confirmed. "Then let's go." he pulled out some tape. "Grab onto me." she wrapped her arms around his arm and he let go. There was a flash of light making everything freeze. The duo disappeared and everything rewinded.

They reappeared on the couch but Dipper's hat was on fire. Peter quickly patted the fire off as Stan's voice was heard saying. "It's 12 o'clock! The dunk tank is now open! Step right up and dunk me folks! I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!" they grinned at each other. "Let's go."

Dipper caught up with Wendle. "Hey, Wendle!" she greeted.

"There you are. Hey, what happened to your hat?"

"Uh, nothing. Hey, look! What's that?" she pointed at the ball toss stand.

"Whoa! Check it out! I don't know if it's a tiger or a dog, but I want one."

"One ball, please." she said to the carnie.

"You only get one chance." he warned.

"That's what you think..." she murmured. "One tiger-dog, comin' right up! Okay, Dipper, second chance, don't mess this up." she said the last part more to herself. She threw the ball, knocking all of the bottles. "Yes!" she cheered but it was too early; the ball hit the back of the stand, bouncing back it hit Wendle's eye making him cry out in pain. "What?!"

"Does it look swollen?" he asked her.

She looked at her hands. "That's so weird..."

"Oh, hey Robin." that caught her attention. Robin was using a freezy as an icepack for Wendle's injured eye.

"So anyway, we've been hanging out a lot and I've been wondering if, maybe, you would want to go out with me?" Robin asked shyly while playing with the string on her hoodie.

"Yeah, I guess so." shrugged Wendle.

Dipper was pacing in front of Peter, who was eating a hot dog."The exact same thing happened twice; it was spooky."

Peter looked at her with an unreadable expression. "I think I know what the problem is." she stopped pacing as to give him her undivided attention. "It's possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes. It has happened to me a couple of times." he shrugged. "There is only one possible outcome that the forces of time allow: whether or not you win the toy in both cases you will hit Wendle and give him a black eye."

She frowned at that. "So there's no way to win without hitting him?"

He snorted. "I said that is only oneoutcome thatisallowed. I never said that there aren't more that are not allowed."

"So how do I do that?"

"Figure it yourself. You're smart enough." he stood up. "While you think I'll go get us something to eat. Any preferences?"

"No thanks."

When Peter returned with ice cream he found Dipper in deep thought, writing on a popcorn machine, muttering to herself. "...I just thought the wind speed.. factoring cotton candy..."

"How's it going?" he looked at her calculations and smiled.

"Good, nearly done." she tapped her chin with the marker. "But there's one variable missing..."

He walked to the other side of the popcorn machine and put his face next to the equal sign. "A variable?" he smiled when her eyes brightened.

"That's it! I've figured out to win the toss, not hit Wendle, and stop him and Robin from going out!" she stopped and lightly glared at him. "You asshole! You knew about this all along, didn't you?"

He gave her a what could be only described as a 'sh*t eating grin'. "It's good to know that my bad swearing habits have been rubbing off on you and of course I knew. I've had the same problem several times over, just wanted to see if you could solve it. Can't have you always relying on me for every problem, now can we?"

She huffed at that before smiling, seeing the logic in that. "I guess you're right." she pulled out the tape measure. "One more time?"

He grabbed her hand and pulled the tape. "One more." he let go.

They reappeared several hours early and set out to do Dipper's plan after she had explained it. Dipper was at the stand checking the wind speed as she held a ball.

"Are you gonna go?" asked Wendle.

"And a-one and a-two and a-uh!" she threw the ball straight up.

"Ah! Dude! You missed!" exclaimed the teen.

"Did I?" the ball came back down, rolled down the tent, flew up, hit the anemometer, rolled down a pipe which Peter lifted up, and flew at the dunk tank target, hit the target without anything happening, hit a guy's pizza and Robin's snow cone, flew between Dipper and Wendle, knocking down all the cans, bounced off the back of the stand and broke through the top of the tent.

"Your stuffed creature of indeterminate species, sir." the carnie gave Wendle the plushie.

He squeezed the toy and it gave out a squeak. "Oh, awesome!" Dipper took off her hat and the ball fell into it.

"There you are, Wendle!" said Robin as she walked up to him.

"Hey, Robin." greeted the redhead.

"So I was wondering if I.. you a..."

"Look what Dipper got for me!" he interrupted, holding out the tiger-dog with a grin.

"Pfft. Whatever. Can't even tell what species it is. Stupid." Robin pulled the hood over her head and walked away.

"What's her deal? Psh, looks like I came to the fair with the right girl." he smiled at the pre-teen.

Dipper and Wendle finished riding the tunnel of love, laughing and eating corn dogs. "That was even more awesome the third time around! Funnel cake! Let's go get some, Dipper!" the teen ran off.

"You seem to be having fun." commented Peter.

"Yeah." she agreed and hugged him. "Thanks Peter. I don't know what I could have done without you."

"Probably sacrificed this for your dumb twin's happiness." he said lowly.

"Hmm? You say something?" she let him go.

"No."

"YOU TWO!" yelled Blendin.

Peter looked at him disinterestedly but still stepped in front of Dipper. He took out the time machine and threw it to him. "Here's your precious machine. Now go away."

"No way! Do you have any idea, how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking; I wasn't there with you... it was probably a lot, right?" Blendin's anger became nervousness.

Two men appeared next to Blendin. Lolph, as it read on his name tag, was light-skinned, tall and muscular with short, dirty blond hair with bangs. He was wearing a uniform consisting of a gray shirt, black vest with an hourglass symbol on it, dark gray pants, a black belt with a sea foam green buck, sea foam green gloves, black and gray boots, black shoulder pads, gray knee pads and a targeting system over his left eye. The other man, Dundgren, was dark-skinned with short black hair and had a physique similar to Lolph's, though he was a bit taller. He was wearing a uniform almost identical to Lolph's, though he lacked shoulder pads and his targeting system was over his right eye. "Blendin Blandin..." said Dundgren.

"AAAAGH! The Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron!" Blendin jumped a foot in the air.

"You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct." Lolph handcuffed the shorter man and lead him away.

"It was those two!" yelled Blendin. "I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never MEET!!"

"f*ck off Blendin!" yelled Peter as he flipped him off. "I made enough deals with demons to insure that they meet!"

"You made deals with demons?" at this point Dipper wasn't surprised at the things the older brunette had done.

"Yeah. I have a lot of enemies around the multiverse that want me dead. I take great pride in that." he gloated. "Some of them can time travel so I made a couple of deals here and there to ensure that I am born and survive. Which reminds me; we should do something about ensuring that you are born."

"I trust that you know the best with whom I can make a deal?"

"Oh, yeah." there was suddenly a scream which turned a lot of heads. There a couple of feet away from the duo was Robin, wet, with shrinking pants. People started pointing and laughing at her.

"Did you have anything to do with that?" asked Dipper as she laughed.

"She deserved it."

Year207̃012

Everything was white. A crowd dressed similarly like Lolph and Dundgred surrounded Blendin Blandin as he was being suspended in the air by some kind of blue energy coming from the forehead of a giant baby. The baby had a hourglass symbol on its forehead and was only wearing a diaper.

"You have broken the eternal laws of space time!" it said in a deep masculine voice.

"I beg your mercy, Time Baby!" pleaded Blendin.

"What seems to be the problem here?" asked a new voice as a black sphere with red accents appeared and grew in a size large enough for a man to come out of it. The man had reddish brown hair and brown eyes. He was wearing a white button up shirt with long sleeves, black pants and black leather shoes. He also wore a dark red coat with golden buttons, the end of it nearly reaching the white ground. There were collective gasps when the man appeared.

"Time Lord, what are you doing here?" the baby asked.

The man, Time Lord, nodded in greeting. "I came here because I heard a commotion." his smiled gently. "Now, I repeat: What seems to be the problem here?"

"Blendin Blandin has broken the eternal laws of time. I was about to give him his punishment." answered Time Baby.

"Oh?" the lord looked at the bald man. "Is that true, Blandin?"

"N-no, sir!" he said. "It was Dipper Pines and Peter Hunters' fault!"

"Hmm? Hunters?" his eyes turned cold. "You are forbidden from meddling with them unless I say so." that surprised the others.

"Why is that, Time Lord?" asked the baby.

Time Lord gave a chilly smile that made the others tremble in fright. "Because that is my lovely little sister's pupil and my new sister." the others stayed wisely silent as he went through the black sphere.

The Time Lord appeared in a living room as the sphere behind him shrunk and disappeared. He sighed and looked at a leather couch where a teenage girl with shoulder length brown hair slept. She was wearing white high-waist shorts, a pale pink shirt with a white crown on it and white socks. He looked outside the window, noting that it was nighttime and lifted the girl, carrying her bridal style. He walked up the stairs to the second floor, turning right and heading to a white door with the name Helenwritten on it in cursive red letters. He whispered something and the door opened on it's own, revealing a girl's bedroom. He walked silently inside and gently lowered the teenager onto the soft bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed, petting her head and just staring at her. After a few moments he got up and left. Just as he was closing the door the girl spoke, her voice tired and barely above a whisper. "'Night, dad."

He looked at her, a small smile gracing his handsome face. "Goodnight, Helen." he closed the door.

Chapter 10: First signs of the Insane Wolf

Chapter Text

Stan and Mabel were being shown around an arcade by Soos.

"This is it dudes, my favourite place in Gravity Falls. Everything I know, I learned right here. A frog taught me how to cross a street. When my house was haunted, I learned how to eat ghosts. And this thing taught me how to dance." old man McGucket was dancing on the machine despite there being an 'out of order' sign taped onto the screen.

"Woo-hoo-hoo! I've been jiggin' here for seven days straight!" he said.

Mabel picked up the plug to the dance machine. "Uh, Soos?"

"Let him have this." they continued.

Stanwalked up to a new game called Insert Token! and inserted a token.

Congratulations! You win!

Stan smiled at that. The game resumed toread'Insert token!'making Stan frown and growl.

In another part of the arcade, Wendle and Dipper were playing Fight Fighters. Dipper was controlling Rumble McSkirmish, while Wendle was controlling Dr. Karate.

"Watch out! Wow! Ooh, cutscene!" said Dipper.

"DR. KARATE, YOU KILLED MY FATHER AGAIN!"Rumble's face appeared on the screen before Dr. Karate appeared screaming."YOU TAKE THAT BAAACKKKK!!!!!!!!"yelled Rumble.

Fight!

They began to fight each other and soon Dipper won.

K.O! The winner: Rumble Mcskirmish!

"WINNERS DON'T LOSE"said the game character, making a victory sign.

"What? You cheated." said the redhead.

Dipper raised her fists and imitated Rumble. "YOU TAKE THAT BAAACK!" they broke out laughing at that.

Round Two!

"I'm gonna punch the ref. "said the teen as they both got into positions.

Fight!

"Let's gang up on him." agreed Dipper. Rumble and Dr. Karate did all of the combo moves so that they aren't hitting each other but it looked as though they are hitting the referee. Wendle whooped and both of them laughed. Nearby Robin was putting on some posters when she saw the duo.

"Wendle! What's up?" she put her arm around his shoulders. "Yeah, just putting up some flyers for my band. I'm playing lead guitar. No biggie."

Dipper looked skeptically at Robin's picture on the posters in the girl's hand. "Are you wearing mascara?"

Robin rolled her eyes. "Duh."

"Hey Robin, Dipper was just showing me this great game."

"Ha, yeah, sweet, sweet." she turned to the brunette. "Hey, how about you sit this one out, okay champ?"

"But we just started this round." protested Dipper.

Robin held up her hands in defence. "Whoa, whoa, hey! Relax man, I'm just trying to spend a little time with my best friend, alright?"

"It'll just be one round." assured her Wendle.

Round Three! Fight!

"So hey, I'm gonna go camping tomorrow with my dad so, I won't be around." said Wendle as he fought Robin.

"Oh, cool, cool, watch out!" she said, not listening to him. She put her hand around the redhead's shoulder and subtly glared at Dipper.

Opponent sighted!

Dipper narrowed her eyes at the older girl.

Fight!

The next day at the Mystery Shack Stan, Soos, Dipper and Mabel were playing poker.

"King me!" said Mabel, revealing her hand which had two kings.

The others threw their cards onto the table. "Aww! Come on!"

"It's not fair, she doesn't even know what we're playing!" complained Stan.

"Go Fish?" asked Mabel.

Electric guitar music started playing.

"Dude, I think I'm picking up a radio station inside my head." said Soos.

"Try blinking to see if you can change the channel." said Mabel. The handyman blinked but the music didn't change.

"Weeendle!" sang the familiar voice of Robin from outside.

Dipper groaned. "Ugh, must be Robin."

"Robbie? Is she that jerky twerp I see making goo-goo eyes at Wendle all the time?" asked the elder Pines.

"She called me 'Big Dude' once. I mean, I know I'm a big dude, but it kinda hurt." said Soos.

"Should I sic Waddles on her?" asked Mabel hugging a pig that she had won at the fair. Waddles was a light pink pig with a darker pink spot on his left eye and two spots on his left side, one large and one tiny, close to his tail with some additional spots on the right side of his body. His snout was a slightly darker hot pink colour. He had a short, curly tail and his hooves are greyish black. The pig chewed on Mabel's sweater. "Whoa, easy tiger."

Dipper got up and turned to leave saying 'I'll handle it.' over her shoulder.

"Ha ha, conflict!" said Stan.

"Wendle! Wendle! Wendle!" sang Robin before shouting. "Wendle! C'mon out, dude! C'mon down!"

"You realize he's not here, right?" crossed her arms Dipper.

"Yes!" she scoffed and paused. "...What?"

"He's out camping with his family today." the brunette said before adding in a quieter tone. "And if you listened to him for once you'd know that."

"What was that?!" yelled the teen, startling Dipper.

"I- just said he's not here."

"No, no, no! You want to get into it, huh? Let's get into it, kid! You think I don't know what's been going on, huh? It's obvious you've got a thing for my best friend, don't you? Don't you?!" yelled Robin.

"What? No! C'mon, man!" said Dipper with a shaky smile.

"Yeah, I'm sure he's just DYING to ask out a 12-year old kid who doesn't shower often. Hey, here's an idea:" she pulled out her phone and dialled the redhead. "why don't I call him right now and see if he wants to go out on a date with you?"

"Hey! Look-! Don't! You don't have to-!" Dipper stammered, her hands felt cold yet hot as she clenched and unclenched them.

Robin mimicked her. "Oh! Don't! Please, man!" she held up her phone next to her ear and continued in her normal voice. "What're you gonna do, huh? What, huh?"

"Hello?"called out Wendle's voice and Dipper slapped it away but she hadn't realized that the tips of her fingers were covered in yellow flames, that is, until Robin removed the hand she had put on her cheek when Dipper struck. The phone laid broken and forgotten only a foot away as both eyes were on the blood that was on the teen's hand. Dipper looked at her cheek and grimaced when she saw four slashes there with the skin around them burned and red. She glanced at her hands and quickly hid them behind her back when she saw that now her whole fingers were covered in flames. She watched as Robin slowly lifted her hand to touch her wounded cheek and flinched back when she cried out in pain.

Their eyes met, fearful and raged, and Robin screamed. "What the hell did you do to me, you freak!?"

She took a step back. "I don't know! I'm sorry!"

"You're not getting off that easy!" she tried to grab her but Dipper sidestepped.

"Hey!" yelled Stan, poking out the window. He looked at them but his eyes stayed on Robin, on her cheek specifically. "I know a fight when I see one! Stay right there!" he closed the door.

"You. Me. Circle Park. 3 o'clock. We finish this, freak." the teen left just as the elder Pines arrived with a bucket of popcorn.

"Aw, she's gone! I was just gonna call the boys over to place a few bets!" he complained but watched his niece closely as she examined her hands, her back turned to him. Her eyes were wide as she watched the flames slowly but surely spread across her hands. She took off running in direction of the only people who could possibly know what to do, leaving Stan to sigh, slump his shoulders and watch as she ran with sadness in his brown eyes. "...So it's her."

She ran.

She ran and ran and ran.

Her breath was coming out short and she didn't inhale enough air, there were black spots in the corner of her wide and wild eyes. There were scrapes on her knees from the times she had fallen the short amount of time in which she was running and small cuts on her arms and cheeks from low branches and bushes that she ignored. The flames were spreading faster than before and were already past her wrists and reached her elbows, she tried to ignore that fact. The plants that brushed her flame covered forearms or she touched were set ablaze and she chose to ignorethat. Her wild eyes looked around her as smoke rose and animals ran away, screeching in fright of the yellow flames that were eating their homes. She ran and ranandran until finally... she tripped and landed face first in the clearing where Peter, Liam and the wolves were. She heard them say her name but she didn't hear them. They ran up to her and helped her sit up, the wolves on both her sides and the men in front of her. Peter reached out to grab her hands but she pulled them away in fear of burning him too. The flames were nearly reaching her shoulders now.

"...er..."

"...Di..."

"...ipper..."

...Liam?

"Dipper!" yelled the dhampir, effectively snapping her out of the panic-filled haze she was in. "It's ok! You're safe here." he reached to touch her but she moved away, shaking her head as tears ran down her cheeks.

"Liam, make a shield around us." ordered Peter.

The blond nodded and muttered in another language. A pale red force field was created around them, blocking out the animal's distressed calls and the crackling of flames. The older brunette put both of his hands on her shoulders and tightened his hold when she tried to pull away. "Dipper listen to me." his voice was even and calm, his eyes never leaving hers. "Everything will be alright, the shield will protect us. Calm down. Take a deep breath." he inhaled and she tried to copy him but chocked on the little air she inhaled. "Shh, shh, everything is ok, don't worry." Liam rubbed soothing circles on her back as she tried again, this time succeeding. "Now breath out." he did that and she copied. "Breath in, breath out." they continued to repeat the process until the flames on her arms had extinguished. "Better?" she nodded. "Good." he stood up. "I'll go take care of the flames, you keep watch on her." he exited the force field and headed to the raging flames.

"Let's go sit down." Liam said gently with a concern undertone. She nodded and he picked her up carefully, walking to the picnic table, the shield moving with them, and set her down on the bench. He reached into the basket and pulled out a thermos and a mug. He poured a brown liquid and handed it to her. Henry and Rex were sitting next to her. They were silently listening to the radio where the host was talking about feral dogs as they waited for the older brunette to return. Just as the weather started to play on the radio Peter returned slightly dirty.

"I stopped the fire." he stated and sat down. "... Mind telling us what happened for you to lose control like that?"

Dipper stayed silent, the mug in her hands still full. Peter closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "There will be no magic lessons for today. Is that ok?" he looked at Liam who nodded, his lips set in a thin line. After an hour Dipper finally spoke in a quiet tone.

"...I hurt her.."

Peter quirked a brow and the wolves perked their ears but it was Liam who asked. "Who?"

"Robin"

Peter turned to her. "What happened?"

Her hands tightened around the mug. "I-I... I didn't mean to. It was an accident. She was going to call W-Wendle and I panicked and I didn't see the flames and I-" she drew a shaky breath, her hands trembling, making the liquid in the mug spill and Liam took it away. "And I hit her. I think the phone broke but I was looking at her cheek." she looked at her hands. "...There was blood on her hand and slashes on her cheek."

Peter frowned. "Then what happened?"

"S-she yelled at me and called me a freak and tried to grab me but I dodged and Grunkle Stan yelled out the window. She told me to meet her at Circle Park at 3 o'clock where we would finish 'this'."

When tears started to run down her cheeks again Liam pulled her into a hug, whispering reassuring words. Peter watched them for a moment before pulling out a lighter and a cigarette pack from his jacket. He put one in his mouth and lit it. They were like that for a while, Liam hugging the girl as the wolves rubbed their faces in her legs, whining, and Peter smoking. After finishing his cigarette the brunette turned to the girl with a serious face. "Dipper," she looked at him. "You have a choice; we can deal with Robin in a violent or a non-violent way. Which do you choose?"

The girl sniffed. "Non-violent."

Peter nodded. "OK. Would you like to talk to her or would you like us to erase her memories and create new ones that explain the wound?"

"You can do that?"

"Technically, Liam can."

Dipper thought about it before giving her answer. "Erase her memories."

Peter looked at his crush and he nodded. "Raccoon?" getting an affirmative the blonde exited the force field and went to look for the black-haired teenager. The two brunettes watched him until he was out of sight.

"What now?" asked Dipper.

"Now we're going to do something that's overdue: me teaching you about your family." the brunette pulled out a worn-out leather tome. On the cover, in gold, were two wolves facing opposite directions and over them were the words'Wolf Family '. Peter opened the book to the middle page where names were written with different lines connecting them. Dipper looked at all of the different names, seeing her own connected to the same name with a blue line. "See this here?" he pointed to the bottom left corner where lines and what their meanings were.

She furrowed her brows. "Fake marriage?"

"It's a marriage of convenience entered into purely for the purpose of gaining a benefit or other advantage arising from that status, but different in your family." he tapped a light blue line. "This line means counterpart. It means that in an alternate universe the you there is male or vice versa." he tapped on a green line. "I'm sure you know what adoption is and in your family, it's the same." he tapped on the red and purple lines. "Blood related and lovers are self explainable."

She nodded and looked at the tree, noticing how most names were very similar. She paused at one. "Why is this name crossed out?" she pointed to the name and under it was written Helen.

Peter looked at it and hummed. "That's Helen's dead name."

"Dead name?"

"She's transgender."

"And the line?" her finger followed the red line that turned orange, one that used to connect the names Tyrone and Ivy.

"That means divorce." his tone was bitter as he glared at the name Ivy.

Her brows furrowed in confusion at the man's behaviour. "Why did they get divorced?"

Peter thought for a moment before answering. "Well, it's best if I tell you so you wouldn't insult anyone. There were a lot of reasons, but I guess the main one was that when Helen told her parents that she was a girl her mother was furious and told her that she was a boy and to stop playing this 'game'. Tyrone, on the other hand, supported his daughter and fought with Ivy over the matter. Ivy became cold towards Helen and would constantly remind her that it's unnatural and that she should seek help. The last straw was when she took Helen to a psychologist behind his back." he grinned viciously. "You wouldn't believe how pissed off Tyrone was when he found out. He took her to court when she tried to take Helen and after he won he made sure to destroy her; I'm talking making her lose her job and all of her friends. I'm actually surprised that their marriage lasted that long, they weren't exactly.." he made a vague gesture with his hand. "compatible."

She turned her attention back to the tree and made a sound. "Why are these connected with the lover line when they are married and why are these names connected with theblue line but are in different families?"

"Fake marriage and the 'parents' choose who their are children. The yellow line didn't exist until your siblings decided that these four act as the parents so they vandalized the several centuries-old book just for sh*t and giggles. They got punished after that, but it was more like being grounded." he said with a smile.

"Why do Joseph and Josephine have more kids?"

"Because you lot are more troublesome than the others." his answer got him a punch in the arm but he continued in a serious voice. "But seriously tho, you guys really are more destructive."

Dipper raised a brow. "How come?"

"Well, for example, these two," he tapped on the names Gnaeus and Glaucia. "Are mad. Not like you and Mason- you two are insane- but completely and utterly mad, and they know that they are mad, while you two think that you are sane. Their hobbies also include hunting people of their version of Gravity Falls, torturing them before turning them into rugs or taxidermy. Their familiars aren't so different, that's why they hold the Black Wolf title. Now Tyrone here is what we call a Time Lord andDaniela, his counterpart, is a Time Lady. The main difference between those two, other than the obvious gender, is that Daniela does not screw around with timelines. What I mean is that she is neutral while Tyrone is chaotic and would go back in time just to see what would happen if he, let's say, saved one life that was supposed to die. Although he has calmed down some since Helen's birth, but he does go back in time occasionally."

She frowned. "But I'm not mad."

"Not yet, you aren't. Trust me, that will change in the future and it's best for you to just accept that." he said in a hollow voice. Dipper bit her lip, not enjoying that piece of information and Peter's tone.

She looked for a distraction and found it in the form of a line leading to an empty space. "Why is this space empty?"

Peter looked at where she was pointing and laughed lightly. "That's because they still aren't born. This book updates on itself; it's the surest way of knowing if you're expecting. Would you like to read the book?" the young adult asked.

"I thought you were supposed to teach me about my... my family's history." the word 'family' sounded strange to her when she spoke of the people she had not yet met.

"And I will. This book has an unbiased view towards the family but I have lived with them and let me tell you, you won't believe the dumb sh*t some of them have done." he smiled as if remembering a fond memory.

"Like what?"

The older brunette glanced around before leaning in to whisper. "One time, Gnaeus was so drunk he tried to vacuum the grass in the garden and cried when he couldn't clean up the ground while everyone else watched and filmed him. Another time, Tyrone thought that if he taped cardboard onto the stairs they would transform into a slide; needless to say, the cardboard couldn't hold up a grown man's weight and everyone saw him fall down several stairs, and in the process hurt his butt."

Dipper laughed and Peter smiled. "See? Just because they are strong, psychotic, intelligent and homicidal doesn't mean that they don't have their moments where they are complete idiots. You just have to look at the right places." she cringed at that but nodded nonetheless. Pulling the heavy book closer to herself the girl opened to the first page were in neat calligraphy told the story of theRed Wolves, Joseph and Josephine Pines. Peter watched as the young brunette read about the people who were her 'parents' and allowed himself to reminisce the first time he met Glaucia, and later the 'family'.

It must have been late-afternoon when Liam returned to clearing tofind Peter lying on the grassy ground with the wolves, and Dipper, who had calmed down by then, reading the book about her 'family'. He silentlystalked closer and sat next to the young girl,startling her in the process. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

"It's ok, I was just in the middle of reading about the Blue Wolves." she glanced at the blonde briefly before returning to the page. "You know them, right? Back when we were visiting the Multi-bear and you gave them a present, saying that it was from Blue."

Liam nodded. "Yes, I do, but only for the last two years."

Her brows furrowed. "Last two years?"

"Yeah and only because of the triplets. They're seers."

She pursed her lips. Placing a finger between the pages, she turned to the middle and lightly traced the names until she found the correct ones. "Alpha, Beta and Omega? Interesting name choice." she commented drily and turned to Peter when he laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Those aren't their actual names, just the manes they have chosen to be addressed by, same as you." he explained before turning to the halfa. "What took you so long? I thought it was supposed to be a piece of cake to erase and create new memories for the wound."

"Well, I wasn't expecting to see burnt flesh along with the slashes so I had to get a burn salve from home before erasing the memories. Then we had to go to the hospital for stitches."

The young adult whistled. "Stitches? Damn. So what animal did you say it was from?"

"Bear, and before you say anything, yes, I did use magic to sell the story." he sighed. "They said that there will be scars."

Peter laughed again. "And she will make up some story about how she fought one and won." he stopped laughing when he saw how pale Dipper had turned. "Dipper?"

It was Liam who was the first to react by scooping the young girl up and hugging her, whispering reassurances. "It wasn't your fault, Dipper. I saw the memories, she was the one who started it. You weren't at fault, don't beat yourself up." he continued to do that until she calmed down and even then he continued to hug her. "I'm sorry for talking about Robin in front of you, it was too soon."

"..It's ok. You were just saying what had happened."

He tightened his embrace. "I know, but it was still wrong of me to not take into account your feelings on the matter. Please forgive me."

The brunette pulled away from his embrace and tried smiled, but it was more of a grimace. "Like I said it's alright; I'm happy that Robin is ok and doesn't remember anything, and Peter is right, she will probably make up some story about fighting a bear or something." she gave a strained laugh.

Liam wasn't convinced but Peter interjected before he could open his mouth. "It's getting late, you should start heading home." he stood up and dusted himself. "I'll walk you back."

Dipper made to follow but the blonde's hand grabbed hers. "If you ever need to talk to anyone I'm always happy to lend an ear." he squeezed her hand and let it go. She smiled gratefully at him and left.

They were nearing the shack when Peter spoke. "I'm sorry for what happened today."

She sighed. "It's fine-"

"No, it's not!" Peter's yell startled her. "It was too early for you to use your powers offensively. Accident or not. Just because she has a crush on that redhead doesn't mean she can be a bitch about it. I mean, who the f*ck is even threatened by a twelve-year-old girl, no offence. They're the same age so she has a bigger chance of being with him anyway, again, no offence."

Dipper was speechless. This man had just gotten frustrated over her crush and had even insulted Robin about being insecure about losing Wendle to her. She couldn't help it.

She laughed.

It started out as an exhale that turned into a giggle which turned into laughter and then into hysteria. Her face was red and she was doubling over. She could feel Peter looking at herand the tears that were streaming down her cheeksin worry, but she couldn't help it, it was just so funny.

"Uhh, kid? Are you ok?" his hands were hovering uncertainly in the air and that only made her laugh harder.

"Ye-yeah." she gasped out. "N-never be-en better."

"Pretty sure laughing hysterically isn't a sign of being 'better'."

It took a few moments but she calmed down, although, the occasional giggle would still escape her. "I am fine. It's just-" she tried to think of the best way to phrase her thoughts before giving up and telling the truth. "I just found it funny how you got angry over the whole ordeal with Robin and Wendle and after what I did today I guess - I found it laughable. Do you understand?"

He blinked. "Pretty sure that was you running high on adrenaline and it mixing with the exhaustion of the day." he worried his lip. "But I know what you mean, I've had similar situations."

She nodded. "Great, now let's get going." she lead the way with the young adult following, his eyes calculating her every move before his face contorted into a grimace at the realization he had come to.

When they arrived at the shack they were met with Stan waiting for them.

"Hunters." he greeted.

"Pines." the two men seemed to be having a conversation with just their eyes; the conclusion they had come to didn't appear to be good when the elder Pines sighed and motioned for his niece to go inside. "Dinner's on the table."

The girl hesitated but a nod from Peter assured her enough to do that. Once she was inside, both of them walked to the forest's edge. "Please tell me it isn't her." was the first thing the man said. Peter looked at Stan in pity and that was all he needed to know but he still grasped at straws. "How can you be sure that it's her? It could just be a fluke." they both knew he sounded desperate but for such a situation it would be pardoned.

"...Her eyes."

"What about her eyes?"

Peter's lips thinned. "Before, she started to laugh hysterically after I got angry about Robin." he held up his hand when Stan made to speak. "And then I saw her eyes, her eyes that should be a chocolate brown were cognac."

"...What has that got to do with anything?" Stan tried to play dumb, but he knew exactly what it meant, he was just hoping against hope that it wasn't true.

Peter knew what the man was doing and continued on, he had to tell him the truth, no matter how much it hurt. "The same happened with Black. When I first met them their eyes were brown but as time went on they started to get darker and darker until there was no difference between the iris and the pupil." Peter's eyes met Stan's. "I'm sorry Stan, but she is the Yellow Wolf and the sooner you get used to that the better." he turned and felt, leaving the old man with the knowledge that not only had he lost his brother, but soon he will also lose this niece.

Chapter 11: Drinks with a friend

Chapter Text

It was a peaceful day in Gravity Falls. The birds were singing, the sun was shining and the Pines family where in the living room watching Tv, or in Stan's case, trying to. The elder Pines would occasionally glance discreetly at Dipper and furrow his brows. What he didn't know was that the girl knew about his strange behaviour for the last couple of days but still did not know what to make of it.

When the doorbell rang, Stan went to get it with a "Welcome to a world of mystery!"

"Stan Pines?" a man in his mid-thirties in a suit with his hair slicked back inquired.

"The tax collector! You found me!" Stan threw a smoke bomb at the ground for distraction and ran back to the living room where he ripped off a decoration, revealing a bag filled with money. He then continued to pat the tiles on the wall. "Aah... uh... which one of these is the trap door?"

"Mister Pines." the family turned to see that the man had let himself in. "I'm from the Winninghouse Coupon Savers contest, and YOU ARE OUR BIIIIIIG WINNER!" a cameraman came in along with two women holding a check for 10,000,000 Dollars.

"Heh? My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!" Stan smiled.

"We're rich! I'm gonna get a butler!"Dipper told her sister and Mabel in return said. "I'm gonna buy a talking horse!"

"Just sign here for the money." the man gave Stan some documents to sign and he did just that without even pausing to read them. Suddenly, Gideon ripped through the check with a simper.

"Ha! Stanford, you fool! You just signed over the Mystery Shack to lil' ol' me!" he grabbed the documents and did a little dance.

The twins gasped but their grunkle didn't appear at all distressed. "Might wanna take another look there!"

The child raised the contract and read out loud. "The shack is hereby signed over to... SUCK A LEMON LITTLE MAN?!"

Stan laughed and Gideon ripped the paper in rage. "How dare you!" he pointed a finger at the elder as he and the sisters laughed. "I am not a threat to be taken lightly!" he reached up for the lawyer. "Come here hon', I need your arms." the lawyer lifted the boy so he could be on eye level with Stan. "I'll get you, Stanford Pines! I'LL GET YOU ALL!" he yelled as he was carried out by the suited man.

"Wanna see what else is on TV?" he asked the girls who agreed.

Later that day the twins were at the gift shop playing chess against each other while Soos restocked.

"Little guy to black space nine!" Mabel said happily and her twin groaned.

"It's a pawn, that's not your color, and stop stealing the tiny horses!"

Mabel, with the horse pieces in her sweater pocket, said. "They like it better in here. Don't you babies?" she made horse noises.

"And... checkmate!" Dipper knocked over her sister's king, who booed. "O-oh! Dipper wins again!" she pulled out a notebook, which kept track of wins and loses, and added a tally mark on her side of it, making her have 85 wins while Mabel had zero.

"Yo, Mabel? Can you pass me that brain in the jar? The lady one?" Soos pointed to a shelf that had two brains on display, one with a hat and one with a blonde wig and bow.

"I got it." Dipper stood up but the handyman stopped her.

"Thanks, but Mabel's taller."

"What?" the apparently shorter girl asked. "No she's not. We're the same height. We've always been."

"Better check again, dude." he said. The twins lined up so that Soos could measure their height with a tape measure. "Yep, she's got exactly one millimeter on you!" he confirmed.

"What?!" Dipper squawked.

"Woah, don't you see what's happening, Dipper? This millimeter is just the beginning. I'm evolving into the superior sibling! Bigger! Stronger!"

"Like some kinda alpha-twin!" said Soos.

"Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!" the taller sister chanted.

Dipper rolled her eyes. "C'mon, guys, nobody even uses millimeters. It only makes you taller than me in Canada."

"Y'know Dipper, I've always wanted a little sister. Who knew I already had one?" laughed Mabel.

Grunkle Stan walked in the room still in his sleeping attire rubbing his eyes. "I was awoken by the sound of mockery. Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!" he rubbed his hands.

"I'm taller than Dipper!" bragged Mabel, lightly patting her sister on her head who added, "By ONE millimeter."

"Hey, hey, don't get...shortwith your sister." their grunkle laughed.

"Now Grunkle Stan, I hope you don't thinklittle of her." Stan laughed harder.

"Ha ha! Ya! And, and uh... she's short!" both grunkle and niece laughed.

"Dude, maybe you should lay off a tiny bit." Soos said but it only made the duo laugh more.

"Ha! Tiny! Soos is in on it now!" Stan said and continued to laugh. Dipper left in annoyance.

"N-no, I didn't mean that." tried to explain Soos.

"Don't worry, Soos. Dipper will forget. She's got a 3... 2... 1..."

"SHORT-TERM MEMORY!" the duo said and laughed. "POW! We are on FIRE!" they high-fived.

"Ow, ooh, that's, aah." Stan clenched and unclenched his hand.

"I high-five hard." said his niece.

"Ugh! Stupid Mabel! I'm not short!" grumbled Dipper in her shared bedroom. She reached for the journal that was on a high shelf and groaned. "Oh, come on." she exhaled and inhaled, trying to calm herself somewhat. "Ok, focus." she extended her hand to the book and was pleased when it levitated to her. "Now about my height." she flipped through the pages until she found the right one. ""Legends of miniature buffalo and giant squirrels have led me to believe there are height altering properties hidden deep within theforest." .So this is what Liam was talking about."

Dipper was walking through the forest with her nose in the journal when she tripped and fell down the rest on the trail. She groaned and noticed a tiny elk on her stomach. It jumped down and ran to the rest of its kind. As she sat up an eagle flew by her face. Looking around she gasped. "Is that mountain lion tiny or just far away in perspective?" she squinted. The lion growled and pounced. "PERSPECTIVE! PERSPECTIVE! AAAAAAH!" she shielded herself. The lion leaped and froze in a beam of pink light, which shrinked it before letting it go and it hid in the girl's vest. Dipper laughed from the ticklish feeling and held up her hand, allowing the cougar to climb up it. It meowed and bit her finger. "It still hurts, but less!" she let it run away before continuing ahead. She stopped to stare at the giant crystal in awe and watched as a butterfly passed through the pink light, shrinking, then the blue light, growing; as it flew away it knocked over a tree.

"What the f*ck?" using a swiss army knife the girl dug out one of the smaller crystals. She held it up, away from any light, and examined it. With this small crystal her height problem would be solved but she would need to be smart, she couldn't just spontaneously grow a millimeter or two, not when Soos could spot such a small change. The safest course of action would be to use the crystal's power at night when everybody was asleep and could be waved off.

Satisfied with the plan, Dipper carefully covered it with tissue paper and stuffed it in he pocket. With that done she made her way towards the clearing where Liam would be waiting for her for their lesson and to ask him about the small crystal.

"Ok, since you're moving in a faster rate than expected Peter and I talked and we both agreed that it is time for you to learn some offensive and defensive spells." the blond said as he pulled out two thin books from his backpack. "After rummaging through my attic I was able to find some easy but effective spells that don't put too much strain on the body or mind of the user. I went ahead and translated them for you." he handed the young girl both of the books. They looked ordinary enough, both covers were blank and the spines held no marks that told who wrote them.

"Just the theory, right?" the answer was obvious but it never hurt to double check.

The blond nodded. "Just the theory. Peter and I had a slight disagreement on what to teach you first, whether it be a protection charm as I wanted or a spell to burn you enemies as he wanted. So it's up to you to choose."

Dipper lightly pursed her lips in thought. Although an offensive spell would definitely be handy, one forprotection was the better choice. "Protection is better."

Liam smiled. "Good to know that you think with your head. The next spell can be offensive to even things out." he took one of the books and opened it on the first page, Protego written at the top. "This is a fairly easy spell that reflects and blocks spells."

"I think that is enough for today." the halfa said as he readied his bag. "You can keep the book and look through the other spells but don't cast any without me or Peter present, ok?"

The girl nodded as sheleafed through the thin book before remembering the crystal in her pocked. "Liam, remember that time you told me about crystals that changed your height?"

The blond thought for a moment before answering. "Yeah? What about them?"

"What advice would you give me, if say, I were to find these crystals and use theme on myself?" 'tactless' was one way you could describe her questions, another would be 'unsubtle'.

Liam hummed. "I would advice you to be careful. The moment light shines through the crystal you will need quick reflexes unless you want to end up taller than the trees or as small as an ant. I advise practicing on inanimate objects before using it on yourself."

Well... that certainly was helpful.

After a quick trip to the shack for some rope and a flashlight, the brunette was sitting in a more shaded part of the forest. Both wolves watched curiously as she made a stone grow large and then small, each change becoming less and less noticeable until she was satisfied with the end result.

"Now to try it out on a living creature." one of the wolves, Henry if she was not mistaken, whined at that. "I'll be careful!" both canines gave her an unimpressed look. "Ok, how are you capable of expressing such emotion on your faces? Are you shapeshifters or something?" she could swear the wolves were laughing.

It was around 11pm when Dipper made her move. Her sister was snoring peacefully in the other bed and Stan was surely asleep as he had a tendency to go to bed after watching Duck Dective. She quietly slipped out of bed and with the flashlight and stone in hand and made her way to the bathroom, locking he door behind her. After a quick double-check that it was the correct side of the stone she aimed it at herself. It was over in a blink. The change was not obvious but Soos would definitely notice that she was two millimeters taller than before. Happy that she was not the short twin anymore she made to walk out when the handle rattled. Thinking quickly, she turned on the water and stopped it after what she thought was an appropriate time for someone to be washing their hands and waited a bit longer for the drying part.

Opening the door she came face-to-face with her grunkle who looked like he had not yet gone to sleep. Not sure what to do she went back to bed, pretending not to notice the older man looking at her suspiciously.

The next day, the now taller twin walked into the gift shop where Mabel was bragging to the handyman about buying bigger clothes that she would grow into.

"Hey Soos, any jobs I can do?" she asked. Their grunkle had taken to giving them small amounts of money if they worked at the gift shop or helped with the exhibits.

"Not now, but Mr. Pines said that he has an idea that involves moving mirrors that we are doing later." he paused and squinted, looking her up and down.

She played casual when asking. "Something the matter?"

The handyman suddenly exclaimed. "Holy hotsauce! You've grown two extra millimeters!" her sister spluttered at that.

"Really?" Dipper asked, making sure to act surprised and not grin at the answer she was given.

"Yeah! You are now taller than Mabel."

"Huh, guess I'm the Alpha-twin now." she shrugged, acting like it was no big deal even though it was.

Having collected her wits Mabel said. "Well mine happened first. I'm gonna be taller in the end. It's science, Dipper."

"And when that happens I will gladly return to you the title of Alpha-twin." she tried very hard to keep the smugness out of her voice, but a tiny part of it still ended up there, and it appeared that her sister heard it because she frowned and walked away, passing their grunkle on the way out.

"What happened to her?" the elder Pines asked.

Dipper shrugged. "She got upset when she found out that I am taller."

Stan looked at her and by his expression didn't seem to notice the difference. "You are?"

"I've grown two extra millimeters, apparently. Not that noticeable, really." her grunkle was still examining her so she changed the subject. "Soos said you are planing to move mirrors later, can I help?"

The elder Pines acknowledged the question with a grunt, knowing exactly why she wanted to help. "I'll pay you two dollars."

"Eight." she shot back.

Stan narrowed his eyes, the corner of his lip twitched upwards. "Three."

Dipper bit her lip to stop the smile. "Seven."

"Four."

"Six."

"Five, my final offer. Take it or leave it." Stan mockingly sneered, his eyes showing his amusem*nt of the little game they were having. The girl pretended to think it over before agreeing. They shook on it and Dipper left. When she opened the door she came face to face with Gideon Gleeful.

"Oh, it's you. What do you want Gideon?" she crossed her arms, eyeing the bat and the jar of red insects that the boy was holding.

"Oh, howdy Dipper! Would you be a dear and bring your grunkle?" he politely asked.

"He's busy, I can take a message for you."

"Oh, no." he lightly laughed. "I have something that I need to discuss with him that can't wait."

Dipper pursed her lips and looked at him with bored eyes. She looked at the jar again and got an idea. Smiling smugly, she casually said. "I'm sorry, but unfortunately grunkle Stan doesn't have time to talk to fake psychics. But I am willing to listen to what you have to offer." her smile showed more teeth than it was necessary (something she had learned to do from Peter) when the boy turned red.

"Listen closely, girl." he tensely said, his patience running out. "Inside this jar I have 1000 Cursed Egyptian super termites. Tell your uncle to hand over the deed to your property or I'll smash this jar with a bat, and they'll devour this shack with you lot inside!"

She quirked a brow and glanced behind the younger boy. She gasped and pointed at the distance. "What's that?"

Gideon turned to see and in that moment she slapped the jar out his hand. The lid came of and the termites attacked him, making him scream and run away. Dipper laughed and continued on her way to the clearing, intended on telling Liam the story.

"-And then I smashed the jar and the termites attacked him! You should have heard him, he screamed like a girl!" she said, a big smile on her face as Peter clutched his mid-section, doubling over as he laughed. She had been surprised to see the older brunette there but after a quick explanation that the halfa had an unplanned date with Lilly she accepted the change, politely ignoring his wet and red eyes.

After managing to catch his breath Peter said. "Nice job, kid. Not only were you quick in making up a easy plan on how to deal with that nut, but the diversion was not a bad one."

Dipper smiled bashfully. "Thanks. Although I am curious as to why he wanted the deed, it's not like the shack will automatically become his property if he did get it."

Peter's smile fell. "Actually, it does. But the question is why does he want the shack?" his lips thinned and shook his head. "Never mind that, Liam told me that you found height altering crystals?"

The girl perked up at that and started to tell the young adult about how she found them and for what she used them. She also mentioned about her grunkle's behavior the last couple of days (his brows furrowed at that) before they started on their lesson.

When Dipper returned to the Mystery Shack later that afternoon, she immediately started to move some of the lighter mirrors in what was to be a maze.

"Soos! This maze of mirrors is your best idea that I'm taken credit for yet. We're gonna make a fortune!" Stan said as he descended the stairs stopping by one of the mirrors to take off his fez and inspect his ears. "Have my ears always been this big?"

Seeing this as an opportunity to tell her grunkle about the earlierconfrontation with Gideon, Dipper said. "Hey, grunkle Stan? Gideon was at the door earlier with a bat and a jar full of termites, demanding to speak to you."

Stan frowned. "About what?"

"He was threatening to unleash the insects onto the shack if you didn't give him the deed on the property." even though she had her back turned to him, she could see his reflection on the mirrors. He looked like he had swallowed a lemon. "I told him that you were too busy to talk to fake psychics and smashed the jar. He ran away screaming as the bugs attacked him." her grunkle smiled at that.

"Heh, not bad kid, I'll give you an extra dollar for that." she grinned and continued with her work.

It was later that night when the twins were getting ready for bed that Dipper snapped. "What's your problem?"

Mabel seemed surprised byher sister's outburst but answered evenly. "What are you talking about? I don't have a problem."

"Yes, you do. You've been moody all evening. So, I'll ask you again: What's your problem?"

Mabel frowned and mumbled something under her breath.

"What was that?" she stayed silent. "Mabel, what did you-"

"I said that it's because you're taller!" the girl yelled.

Dipper was taken aback at that but quickly recovered. "What do you mean it's because I'm taller? What does my height have to do with anything!?"

"It's because you're better than me at like everything and you always rub it in my face..." Mabel threw a notebook at her twin, continuing to rant. "Chess, checkers, ping pong. I finally felt like I was winning at something for once and then you went and grew two millimeters!" Dipper leafed through the notebook that kept track of the wins and loses of the twins, and for the first time noticed that not once had her sister won against her. She bit her lip and said nothing; what could she say in a situation like this? 'Sorry for being an oblivious jerk and for using a magical crystal to grow taller than you.' that didn't sound good. Her attention was brought back to her sister when she sighed. "Let's just forget about it, okay? Night." she turned off the light and went to bed.

Dipper followed suit, saying a quiet 'goodnight' to her twin. Even after two hours, sleep wouldn't take her so she laid in bed, lightly fingering the magical crystal as guiltconsumed her. The brunette was torn between going to the bathroom to reverse the effects or letting it be when a knock on the window was heard. To say she was startled would be an understatement. She looked at it and was surprised to see Peter waving at her and beckoning. The young girl warily opened the window and asked. "What are you doing here?"

"We're going on a walk."

"We?" she glanced at her twin's bed.

The man nodded. "Yeah. You're thinking so loud that I can hear you from my house across town. So we're going on a walk." he extended his hand for her. Dipper was hesitant, but after a glance at her sister she put on her sneakers and grabbed his hand. He helped her out, closed the window, and jumped down. They walked in an awkward silence that was broken by Peter. "So... what's the problem?"

The girl sighed. "I just realized that I have been an asshole to my sister."

Peter frowned. "How come?"

"Well, Mabel and I have this book that keeps track of our wins and her side is completely bare. And when she was finally feeling like she was winning against me, I went ahead and used a crystal to grow taller because I didn't like being teased for being short."

"I know what you mean. One or two jokes about your height is fine but after a while it starts to feel like they're making fun of you. As for the wins and loses, nobody likes to lose. It's worse when the other person rubs it into your face. I'd advice not to do that in the future unless you want to be called a dick." he lightly bumped into her and she smiled.

They had joined the main road, walking pass closed shops, when Dipper asked. "How are you feeling?" Peter quirked a brow and she elaborated. "About... Liam's date."

His eyes darkened and she worried that she had made a mistake, but before she could corrects herself the young adult answered. "To tell you the truth, not great. I've been enjoying these moments we share when we teach you or when planning the lessons, they're like little dates we have, ya know? What happened today reminded me that we aren't dating and that he's with my sister." he sighed. "I need a drink; come on."

"Where are we going?" Dipper didn't think that any bar was open at that late hour.

"My house."

Peter's house... wasn't what she was expecting. It was a two storey tall building with an attic, white painted walls and a blue roof. The interior and furniture were either brown, beige or white. It was a completely normal looking home.

"You look surprised."

She startled, so unbalanced by the house that she forgot about it's owner. "Yeah, it's just... I guess I was expecting somethingmoreyour style."

"Oh?" he kicked off his shoes and went to what appeared to be the kitchen (it was also normal). "And what were you expecting my house to look like?"

"Something... that wasn't this." she waved her hand to indicate the living room. After taking off her shoes the young brunette went into the kitchen were she found Peter making a drink by the counter. She sat onto a chair and watched him.

"Well, my parents visit me at least once a week and I can't have guns, chains, whips, knifes and bondage materials lying around, now can I?" he finished the drink and lightly pushed it towards her. It was red at the bottom and yellow at the top.

Dipper lightly sipped it, finding the taste sweet. "What is this?"

Peter had taken a bow of raspberries out of the fridge and offered her some (she declined) before answering her. "That's Bahama Mama, a co*cktail." he turned his back and started making his own drink.

"Does this have alcohol?"

"Yes."

"Am I supposed to be drinking it?"

"Mmm, legally, not for another 9 years."

"Can I drink this?"

"With an adult? Probably. Alone? As long as you're not caught."

Dipper huffed, already used to Peter's antics, and quietly sipped her drink. It was good.

"Don't drink too quickly or you'll get a minor headache."

It was nearing 2am when Peter finally spoke. Dipper was on her second co*cktail while the older brunette, after two Smash Libres, had started on vodka.

"Have you ever fallen in love, Dipper?" the man asked. The girl wasn't surprised by the the topic, but more by the question that was directed at her. "And I'm not talking about a crush, but actual love."

Her lips pursed. While she could say that what she felt for her red headed co-worker was certainly something, it wasn't love. "No, I don't think so. Have you?"

He laid his head on his crossed arms. "...Yeah."

"When?" she didn't need to ask the stupid question of who is it? when she already knew.

"A year and a half ago. That's when I first met Liam." he smiled lightly at the name.

"And how did that happen?" she pushed her drink away and leaned forward.

"Lillia had planned to introduce Liam to our parents. You know how it is, six months together and it's time to meet the parents." he blew a raspberry and she giggled. "The little princess was upstairs getting ready when he arrived and I was the one that opened the door." here his voice went soft. "Our eyes met, ice blue and sky blue, and he got this face, the kind you get when you realize that there's a chance that the thing in front of you is going to kill you, and I loved it, I loved the fear that I caused him." his eyes had gone hazy, reminiscing of their first meeting. "I didn't fall for him right then, mind you, but I did find him adorable, twitching and trying to find a way to escape."

"And then what happened?" this was the most her 'teacher' had spoken about his attraction towards the blond and she didn't want it to stop now.

"I gave him a five minute head start, as I was feeling generous, before going after him. Now here's a tip, vampires are fast, whether they are full-blooded or half, and you can't catch up to them unless you are also supernatural or they are fatally wounded. They have to come to you. How would you do that?"

She remembered the, in her opinion, trashy romance novels about vampires that her sister read. "Draw them out with blood?"

"Correct. That's a great way, especially if they haven't drank in a while. Another tip is that when they haven't fed recently they become weaker, but also feral." even when he was drunk, he still made sure to teach her something. "So I sliced my palm and stood against the wind. Barely thirty seconds later he arrived, his eyes red and mouth watering. He went down easily and without a fight, which means that he hadn't had blood in more than a few months, probably years. So, there we were: Liam laying on the forest floor with my knife against his throat, his wrists held by my hand over his head and me straddling him. And the only thing that went through my mind in that moment was how beautiful he looked." he sighed. "Then I released him and the rest is history. What I mean by this story, Dipper, is that I didn't instantly fall for him, I found him attractive and after getting to know him did I fall. Understand?"

She nodded, still processing the information that was given to her.

"Great. Now lets go to bed, it's late. I'll call your grunkle in the morning to tell him where you are." he smoothly stood up and exited the kitchen with the girl following.As they were goingup the stairs Dipper examined the photos that were on the wall. Most of them were of the older brunette through the years with what appeared to be his friends. Pictures of Peter at the beach; Peter with his friends at a party; pictures of a school with its students, a photo of Peter on his graduation day, smirk present as he is surrounded by friends and classmates; and so on.

She paused, her eyes wide.

On the wall, surrounded by the other pictures, was a photo of a woman.

A woman who looked strikingly like Dipper.

She had dark brown - nearly black - hair that fell in curls, black like an abyss eyes, and was wearing a black dress with a white collar. The shape of the face (though more defined), nose, lips and eyes were the same as hers. It felt like she was looking at an older version of herself.

"I see you spotted Black." Peter was suddenly next to her, but she was too focused on the photo to acknowledge him.

"That's Black." it came out as more of a statement than a question but he answered as if was one.

"Yeah, the one and only Glaucia Wolf. Your sister and my master."

Dipper released a breath that she had unknowingly held. Next to the woman - Glaucia - were two wolves. HenryandRex her mind supplied, but they were different. The colour of their coats and eyeswere darker, and they appeared more...feral, wild, cruel. Unlike the sweet canines that they were.

"Despite their similar appearance, those aren't your wolves." he explained, suddenly sober. "Those are Azrail and Hades, a pair of f*cked up sons of a cursed bitch." he sneered. "I'd advice not upsetting them in any way unless you want to be mauled by them. Your title as Yellow won't save you."

The pre-teen nodded, still staring at the photo of her 'sister' and her wolves until she was guided by Peter to a guest room.

She barely slept that night, too busy thinking about the woman in the picture.

Chapter 12: Summerween

Chapter Text

"Here we are, the Summerween Superstore!" exclaimed Stan Pines after expertly crashing into the handicap parking sign.

"Summer-what now?" asked his niece Mabel. She wasn't in the best of moods that day. After her outburst the night before she had planed to talk with her twin, only to find her missing from her bed. After asking her grunkle about her sister, she learned that she was with her friend. Mabel had frowned, the only close friend that she knew her sister had was Liam but she didn't see a reason for the blond to be spending time with the brunette so early in the day.

"Summerween!" her grunkle's voice brought her back to the present to see him pull out a calendar out of nowhere. "The people of this town love Halloween so much, they celebrate it twice a year. And wouldn't you know it, it's today!"

She frowned. "Something about this feels unnatural." to which Soos put his hand on her shoulder and said, "There's free candy!"

Inside the store, Mabel ran past the aisles. "TO THE COSTUME AISLE!"

Soos, meanwhile, was pressing a cackling skull that told jokes, making the man loudly laugh and gain the attention of a worker. "Sir, could youplease stop pushing that?" she asked.

"Ma'am, make these heads less hilarious, and you got yourself a deal." he then processed to press the skull again.

In a different part of the store Stan was picking a barrel of fake blood. "Ha ha! When the children come tomy door tonight, they're gonna run away screaming from Stan Pines, Master of Fright!" he turned to see a baby and did the only logical thing; he scared it, and laughed when it started to cry.

The worker, seeing the elder Pines laugh at the baby, the younger Pinesknock over a pile ofjack o' melons, and the handyman continuing to press the skulls, picked up awalkie talkie. "Have the police come and ejectthe Pines family from the store."

"NOT TODAY!" cried out the man, throwing a smoke bomb and running away with a couple of barrels of fake blood that he had 'paid for'.

Back at the newly decorated Mystery Shack, Mabel was planing her and her sister's costumes. "I'm so excited! We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candyand have the biggest stomachaches ever!"

Soos, who was dressed like a superhero, noticed how the girl was speaking in plural. "Dude, I've never seen you so pumped, but why are you talking in plural?"

"Well, I obviously mean me and Dipper." she laughed. "Back at home, we are the queens of trick-or-treating. And there is no way she is going to miss trick-or-treating here. So I'm getting our matching costumes ready."

The man nodded, seeing the logic behind that, and added. "Well, you dudes better be careful out there. It's a night of ghouls and goblins. Not to mention... " he turned off the lighted and shined a flashlight at his face for a dramatic effect, "the Summerween Trickster!"

"The Summer-what-what?"

"The Trickster goes door to door, so the legend goes, eating children who lack the Summerween spirit."

"Well, you don't have to worry about us. We've got spirit to go around." she ate a candy and coughed. "What is this stuff? I've never even heard of these brands. Sand Pop? Gummy chairs? Mr. Adequate-Bar? This is all cheap-o loser candy!"

"Quiet your discontent, child, lest the Trickster overhear."

She huffed. "Your cape is caught in your fly, Soos."

"Trick-or-treaters. Quick! Give'em that terrible candy." yelled Stan when the doorbell rang.

"Happy Summerween!" chirped Mabel when she opened the door. In front of her were Robin, who was wearing a skeleton hoodie, and Wendle, in normal clothes.

"'Sup, squirt."

"Hey Mabel."

"Hi!" she moved out of the way. "What are you doing here?"

"I left my jacket here. Again." the redhead reached for the aforementioned article of clothing.

"What's with the candy? You're goin' trick-or-treating or something?" motioned the ravenette to the bowl of candy.

"Yeah!"

"Well, have a nice night." said Wendle. "Is Dipper going with you?" he glanced around, not seeing the other brunette.

"Of course she is. It's our tradition to wear matching costumes."

The teenagers nodded (at least one did) and left the shack.

Later that evening, in the lobby of the shack were Mabel, dressed as a jar of strawberry jelly, Candy, dressed as her namesake, and Grenda, dressed as a witch. "Grunkle Stan, these are my best friends,CandyandGrenda."

"I am so sweet I could eat myself." said Candy.

"Hello, Mr. Pines!" greeted the witch.

"You got a cold, honey? Something wrong with your voice there?" he asked.

"What do you mean? Why would you say that?" asked the now upset girl. Stan waved his cape and walked away, as you do when you are dressed as a vampire.

"IsWaddlescoming with us?"

"I wish he could, but he has somevery important meetings to attend!" said Mabel, and, on cue, walked in with a suit attacked to his chest. The girls cooed as he ran up to Mabel. "File these documents under 'I', for "I have a curly tail!" they laughed.

"What about your sister?"

Mabel's smile fell.

Flashback

"Punkin" started Stan, standing at the doorway to the attic bedroom where Mabel was getting ready.

"Yeah, Grunkle Stan?"

Stan was frowning, dreading what he was about to tell his niece. "Dipper won't be trick-or-treating with you." short, simple, and to the point.

Mabel blinked, "What."

"Dipper will be spending Summerween with some of her friends." 'friend' wasn't one of the words that could be used to describe Peter Hunters. Asshole, killer,manipulator and bastard were.

"Oh."

His brows furrowed at the flat tone but let it be. He had (unwillingly) promised not to meddle with Peter's, and by extensionBlack's, plans.

"She won't be coming." she answered in a clipped tone. The girls shared a look, unused to seeing their friend this upset, before nodding. They left the shack.

A few hours later, the trio of girls and Soos returned to the Shack where Stan and Wendle were watching movies. Greetings and stories about the other's evening were exchanged, as well as candy. When they were all settled around the Tv, the phone rang. Stan picked it up and left the room a moment later. He talked a while before returning with a frown and a thoughtful look in his eyes,

"Something the matter, Mr. Pines?" asked Soos.

"What?" the man startled. "No, it's nothing." he turned his attention to the movie and Soos did the same.

Chapter 13: The Masquerade Ball

Chapter Text

The next morning Dipper was woken up by a stream of sunlight that came from the not entirely closed curtains on the windows. She sat up, allowing herself to examine the room that she was in. It was simple enough with a closet in the corner, a nightstand, a dresser with a mirror across her, and a desk with a chair. Completely normal like the rest of Peter's house. She stood up and exited the room, determined to find the bathroom, which turned out to be easier than expected when the door to it was left wide open. She closed the door, locking it. On the sink were a pair of clothes, towels and an unopened toothbrush.

When she entered the kitchen she was met with Peter putting the final touches to the two co*cktails he had made. He raised his head and greeted her.

"Isn't a bit too early for alcohol?" she asked, taking a seat at the table where a plate of pancakes awaited her.

"It's never too early for alcohol, it's always too late." he gave her the Bahama Mama, while he kept the blue co*cktail for himself. "How are the clothes? I wasn't exactly sure about your sizes so I had to guess."

"Good, although the shoulder area feels a little loose." she was wearing a short sleeved red dress with white pokadots that surprisingly fit her well.

The older brunette hummed as he looked her up and down. "You didn't get much sleep, did you?" it said as more of a statement than a question.

She stirred her co*cktail with the straw. "No, not really." she pushed away her breakfast and put her head in her hands. "It's just... I wasn't expecting for Black to look like me."

"What did you imagine her to look like?" he asked her in such a casual way that it was as though they were talking about the weather.

"I don't know!" the girl suddenly shouted before lowering her voice. "Everything other than an older version of me."

They were silent for a few moments. Neither touched the food.

Finally. "Would you like to meet her?"

Dipper's head snapped up to meet Peter's eyes. "...What."

The man looked uncomfortable. "Would you like to meet her in person?" when she didn't say anything he elaborated. "Every year Glaucia and Gnaeus - her counterpart - throw a masquerade ball for Summerween. All monsters are invited and so are the rest of the family, although not all of them attend."

The pre-teen swallowed and asked about the most irrelevant part. "Summerween?"

"It's an annualholiday celebrated only inGravity Fallson June 22 or the second to last Friday of the month. It's celebrated because the residents of Gravity Falls loveHalloweenso much that they celebrate it twice a year. They usejack-o'-melonsinstead of jack-o-lanterns, since pumpkins are not ripe during the summer.There is a local legend that tells of a mysterious creature known as theSummerween Trickster, who goes around eating children who lack the 'Summerween spirit'.He actually exist, by the way."

She made a sound in her throat. "Why on Summerween and not on Halloween? The ball I mean."

"Oh, she throws a ball then too. But I think the reason she celebrates Summerween is because she has fond memories of when she had... this." he made a motion with his hand to indicate the town. "Before she took the mantle of Black Wolf."

Dipper glanced down, feeling uncertain. "Hey." she felt Peter's hand on her shoulder as he kneeled down. "You don't have to meet her. You can just attend the ball and enjoy yourself, no talking to Glaucia or Gnaeus included, or you can spend your first Summerween here, in Gravity Falls. It's your choice."

"You said that the family is invited, and that includes me." her gut felt tight with the choice she was to make.

"True, but I also said that not all of them go, and neither do you unless you want to." he squeezed her shoulder. "You aren't expected anyway and you'll have plenty of other opportunities to meet the Black Wolves. No need to rush." giving her one final smile, he stood up.

"I want to meet them."

Peter paused in loading the dishwasher. "Are you sure?"

She nodded, a heaviness setting on her chest as she confirmed.

"Okay." he breathed out. "Okay." he nodded to himself and finished his task. "Come along."

They exited the kitchen and went up the stairs to a room that needed to be unlocked to be accessed. The room turned out to be trophy room filled with taxidermy, skin rugs, and furniture made of dark wood. Peter went straight to a mirror that was as tall as him and dipped his finger into a bow with black liquid that was next to it. The finger came out coated in red and was used to draw symbols on the mirror's surface. The man stepped back, their reflections disappearing as blackness took over. Suddenly, a foot came trough, then a leg, a torso, and then the rest of the person dressed in a black suit. Dipper gasped when she saw that they had a horse skull for a head, attached to the vertebral column.

"You called?" the voice was hollow and echoing.

"Good morning, Abiel." greeted Peter. "I need a dress for tonight's ball, hosted by my master."

The being, Abiel, looked him up and down, the light intheireye sockets glinting, before commenting drily. "I do not think that a dress would suit you but I will try my best to make you look lovely, sir."

The brunette huffed, flipping the demon off. "Excuse you, I look stunning in a dress, but it's not for me. It's for Dipper." he stepped aside, allowing the demon to see her.

They tilted their head, circling her as their lights shone brightly. "A member of the family are you?" she nodded, turning her head to keep them in her sight. Finally, they stopped before her, head raised high. When they spoke their questions were directed at the man. "You expect me to create a dress befitting mistress and master Black's ball in such a short notice? Have you gone mad, Hunters?"

Peter shrugged, not at all bothered to have the demon's ire directed at him. "I'm sure you can create something amazing. There is a reason you're the Wolf family's tailor. Surely you are capable of backing up such a tittle."

Abiel appeared to be angered by that. "Flattery will get you nowhere. Even if I were able to sow together pieces of fabric to make a dress it will not be of the quality expected to be seen at the ball. You should have arranged amonth prior for me to take the measurements and create the design."

Peter frowned. "Look, it doesn't have to be a brand new dress, you can just resize and lightly alter an already existing dress. And don't try to tell me that there aren't any, I've seen your workshop."

The two maintained eye contact until Abiel turned away. "Alright, but I make no promises, Hunters." they walked through the mirror.

A sigh from the older brunette drew her attention. He had sat down on one of the armchairs that occupied the room, head in his hands and leg bouncing. "God, it's too early for this sh*t." he hissed.

"...Who was that?" Dipper glanced at the mirror, expecting the aforementioned to appear.

"That, Dipper, is the family's tailor, Abiel. Preferred pronouns are they/them. They were a popular tailor while alive, a skill that they had acquired by making a deal with a demon and killing several people. Real charming person, you'll never meet another with as much compassion as them." his voice dripped with sarcasm at the last part. No sooner had he uttered those worlds, the demon returned with a clothing bag in one hand and two shoe boxes in the other.

They marched right up to Dipper and asked, "Where is your room?"

"Down the hall, last door on the right." Peter stood up and stretched, turning to lead them to the guest room.

"How's the dress?"

"Good. It's a perfect fit."

They were in the bedroom with Peter sitting on the bed, watching Dipper twirl around. She had changed into an 1830s style dress in royal blue with a silver accent. The corset was tightly laced and extended over the abdomen and down towards the hips. A chemise, given to her by the tailor who helped put on the dress (much to her embarrassment and Peter's amusem*nt), was under the corset, and cut relatively low in order to prevent exposure. Over the corset, was the tight-fitting bodice featuring a low waistline. Along with the bodice was a long skirt with a crinoline underneath to create fullness while placing emphasis on the small waist.

"Are you able to breath comfortably?" the demon asked, lightly adjusting the skirt. Getting an affirmative, they stood up and went to the shoe boxes. "I assume you're a size 7?" they lifted the lid of the first one to reveal silver flats. "Unfortunately, if you were to wear heels the skirt will be lifted." they glared at Peter, once again reminding him that he should have made an appointment.

"It's no problem." she made a face. "I don't think I would even be able to walk in heels." she took the shoes and tried them on and, once again, the size was a perfect fit.

"Nice. Now you're ready for the ball." the brunette grinned.

"If that is all," Abiel grabbed the remaining box and bag. "I shall be taking my leave." they turned to the girl with an "I will see you tonight." before disappearing in a burst of dark flames.

"Now what?"

"Now," started the man, a smirk present on his face. "We - and by that I mean you - invite the halfa."

Her brows furrowed. "Why?"

"Because you have to. He's your..." he made a vague gesture with his hand. "squire."

Dipper looked at herself in the mirror, twirling and enjoying the dress' texture. "Guess I'll need to get out of this dress then. Mind unlacing the corset?"

"So... this is Liam's house?"

The duo stood in front of chalet that was build deep into the woods. It was made of wood, with a heavy, gently sloping roof and wide, well-supported eaves set at right angles to the front of the house. The two large windows on the first floor allowed for the living room and the kitchen to be seen, the sun not low enough for the curtains to be drawn. Around the house flowers were planted in an organised chaos, a bindweed crawling up the corners and walls of the house, with four fruit tree at a distance of four meters from each other.

"Come along." Peter walked round the house, carefully following the path made of broken stones that lead to the back garden were Liam was laying in a garden swing with a book in his hands. "Good afternoon, fangs."

Liam, who til that moment appeared to be half asleep, startled. He whipped his head, his shoulders relaxing when he saw that it was only them. "Hello Peter, Dipper. What brings you here?"

"Dipper has something to ask you." he nudged her forward.

"Well... I was wondering if you'd like to accompany us to... the ball tonight?"

Liam frowned in confusion but whatever he saw when he looked at Peter appeared to answer his unvoiced question. He stumbled out of the swing, nearly falling on his face, and ran inside the house.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Nah, he just realized what you meant when you said ball. And whose." he started to walk. "Come on, we have to make sure that he doesn't have a heart attack while looking for clothes to wear."

She would have found it surprising that Peter knew which door lead to the blond's bedroom (with last night's confession and the way they acted around each other, they appeared to beclose but nottoo close friends), but the noise that was coming from behind the door, like the heavy stomping of feet and the crash of what might of been glass, would have allowed anyone to know. Peter opened the door to reveal the blond half vampire in a frenzy as he ran round his room like a headless chicken, pulling clothes from his closet and, barely spearing them a glance, throwing them on the floor, occasionally slipping from an article of clothing as he ran to his dresser only to do the same to the clothes there. After two minutes of this, Peter wrapped his arms around the shorter man and lifted him. Liam squawked. "Peter! Put me down! I need to find clothes for tonight!"

The brunette smiled, gave a cheerful "Nope!" and tightened his hold when his captive began to struggle. Liam relaxed when it became apparent that he could not break free and turned his gaze onto the girl. "Dipper, please tell this brute to release his hold on me." he whined.

Dipper covered her mouth to stiffen her giggles as Peter's smile turned sharp. "Brute, eh? I think you deserve a punishment for that." he put his mouth on the side of Liam's neck and blew a raspberry. Liam shrieked, his back arching and his struggles anewed. Dipper burst out laughing as Peter continued to torture his victim, telling him to apologize for calling him a 'brute' and Liam refusing. When it seemed that he had finally exhausted himself, Liam, with a red face from all of that laughing, was laid on his bed. The brunette leaned over him and smugly said. "Careful what you call me in the future, pretty boy, I might not be so merciful then." to which Liam answered by hitting him (lightly) with a pillow.

Dipper turned away from the intimate moment and took the chance to look around the blond's room. The walls were painted a dark purple with shelves lining across them, filled with magical looking objects and books.

"What colours are we going with?" she turned back to see Peter helping Liam pick up the clothes from the floor.

"Dipper's dress is royal blue with silver and my suit is back with a red shirt."

The blond's brows furrowed. "Blue?"

"We didn't have a reservation for Abiel to make a brand new dress so we had to improvise." shrugged the older brunette.

"Is something wrong with the colour?" the girl asked.

"The's nothing wrong with it. It's just... Blue is usually reserved for the Blue Wolves, and occasionally Michaela and Omega, while yellow is reserved for... you know." the blond made a vague gesture at her.

She nodded, suddenly queasy at the thought of her title and the upcoming ball.

"Something wrong?"

Startled, Dipper looked up to see Peter at the top of the stairs, arms crossed and face conveying his worry. The day was spend dragging the young to a hairdresser and then to have her nails done before finally returning to the young adult's house where he did her make up. Now, barely half an hour left before they were to set off, the girl was having second thoughts about the whole ordeal, and had taken to looking at Glaucia Wolf's picture on the wall.

Playing with her fingers, she answered. "I'm not sure." she sat on the stairs, mindful of the dress. "It's just- I feel like I'm making a mistake; going to a ball and leaving Mabel to trick-or-treat alone." out of the corner of her eye she saw him sit down next to her. "Back at home, Mabel and I were the queens of trick-or-treating." she gave a hollow laugh. "Twins in costumes, the people eat it up. But now.. this is our first - and probably only - summerween and I'll be spending it at a ball and leave her here."

Peter frowned, and a quick glance at Glaucia'a photo showed that her previously neutral look was replaced by a scowl, glaring down at the girl that was, thankfully, looking at her painted nails. To say that he was surprised by her confession would be a lie. He had taken to carefully mapping out what kind of reactions the girl would have and what steps would need be taken to stir her in the 'right' direction. Carefully changing his face to something more sympathetic and taking on a more wishful tone to his voice he said, "You know, when I was growing up I would imagine what having a twin would be like." that caught her attention and he inwardly smirked. "I didn't have many friends growing up and that number turned to zero when we moved here. I would sit and imagine all of the mischief I would be able to have with a twin, most of those fantasies coming from Fred and George Weasley. Someone who would stick by my side, a best friend, who would never abandon me no matter what. Who wouldn't ditch me to hang out with someone or because of a love interest, wouldn't be ashamed of my hobbies, someone who would stand up against anyone who was giving me a hard time. Someone who would respect me. And I wouldn't need to compete with them because our parents would love us equally." his voice grew more passionate, a smile forming on his lips, not because of what he was saying but because of the way Dipper was reacting.

While the man spoke of what he imagined having a twin would be like, she remembered all of the times her own twin did the opposite. She remembered how Mabel didn't stand up to the mean girls that called her names as she was too busy talking to her newest crush. How she would try to make her give up on her hobbies concerning the paranormal. Even though she was academically better, Mabel would always be praised by their parents on her artistic nature. While she was more reserved, her twin was a social butterfly, making friends was as easy as breathing to her. The pit in her stomach grew as she came to these revelations. Had things always been like that? How had she not noticed? Did she purposely blind herself because Mabel was her twin?

Her head snapped up, meeting Peter's feigned worry gaze after he called her name several times. "If you don't want to go to the ball, that's okay. Nobody knows that you would be going anyway; you can keep the dress and go trick-or-treating with your sister." he said, knowing that she wouldn't be doing that.

After a moment, she answered. "No, I'll go to the ball." she stood up, running her hands down the dress, trying to get rid of the wrinkles. He shared a triumphal look with the photo before switching back to an understanding one when brown eyes fell on him. "Of course, just know that if you feel uncomfortable and want to leave, all you have to do is say so."

The ball was being held in a castle.

They had gotten in Peter's car and drove down long forgotten dirt roads, until they reached the opening of a large cave. There they got out of the car and waited. Five minutes later, the clomping of hooves as well as wooden wheels could be heard coming from the cave. Out of the opening came two skeletal horses, pulling a dark carriage and its coachman. The trio got inside and they were off once again.

"Where to now?" the brunette asked, once again playing with her fingers.

Peter's blue eyes, far colder than they were mere minutes ago, met hers. "The Wolf's Den."

The Wolf's Denwas... breathtaking. The forest was large with different types of trees, from wisteria to oak, and strange, unfamiliar animals were seen and heard. The road they were traveling down had beech trees (their branches intertwined, not allowing even a sliver of moonlight to penetrate) and at one point an animal too strange to be anything but magical appeared. It was digitigrade, with long legs, a body of a doberman but instead of fur had feathers, wings, a long and thick neck, and a head of bird with a big and very shard looking beak. Its coloring was what surprised her. The creature appeared to have blue feathers that softly glowed in the darkness, its yellow eyes stared at them before moving along, registering them as not a threat. When they finally left the forest, Dipper made a sound of amazement when she saw the night sky. It was more of a purple colour than the dark blue/black that she was used to with brightly shining stars and moon that appeared to be either closer or was simply bigger.

The castle was colossal, situated on top a body of water, and the only access appeared to be a draw bridge. As they traveled on the long bridge, the water, inky black and consuming all light, shifted. Lights appeared underneath the water's surface, moving together and coming closer before once again diving down. As it turned, the creature's colossal tail appeared. The moonlight allowing her to see the white scales with some of them being fluorescent and glowing.

The movies didn't give justice to what a ballroom was like. Sure, the ceiling was high with columns supporting it, and the floor was marble, and tables with food and refreshments were pushed against the walls, and chandeliers provided light, and an orchestra with a conductor were on a stage, but it was different to experience the real thing. People (monsters)were dancing, all dressed in extravagant dresses and suits, with masks hiding their identities, talking with each other and drinking alcohol. In the center were Gnaeus and Glaucia Wolf, The Black Wolves, drinking up the attention that they were given, smiling coyly at each other.

Maison,The Yellow Wolf, on the other hand was the complete opposite. The moment they walked in,she went straight to the sidelines while Peter dragged Liam to the dance floor.She washappy for them but still nervous and somewhat scared of the other patrons.

"Good to see that I'm not the only one that's trying to become one with the wall."

Her head snapped to the side, eyes widening at what (who) she was seeing. Next to the girl was a male version of her. He had somewhat messy brown hair and brown eyes and relatively pale skin, and his nose a bit darker than the rest of his face. A gradient masquerade mask (a copy of her own, only without the blue feathers) on his face. He was wearing a blue waistcoat that appeared to be uncomfortably tight at the waist, white breeches, black boots and a darker blue cloak. In his hand were two glasses filled with pinkish-red liquid.

"So, um, hi!" he shifted, any bravado he had when he first approached her rapidly disappearing. "I'm Dipper - or maybe Mason is better since both of our nicknames are Dipper, or you can call me Tyron, I've always wanted to be called Tyron, or maybe that's also not good since we have a, a brother - is he really our brother? - named Tyron. And I'm rambling, sorry; it's just that you looked lonely here and I'm guessing that your Penny - do you have a Penny? - has dragged off your Lia to dance and left you alone, but maybe you prefer being alone and I'm bothering you? Sorry if I am. And I'm rambling again, sorry! I'll stop now." he shut his mouth with an audible click. They stood like that, Maison blinking rapidly and Mason sweating nervously with a red face. Finally, she laughed. Not loud, mind you, but not quietly either. She stopped when her counterpart's face got even redder, if that was possible.

"I'm sorry. It's a nice to meet you, Mason. I'm Maison, with an 'i' after the 'a'. And yeah, I was feeling lonely and trying to become one with the wall." she gestured to the wall and they laughed.

"Where are your Penny and Lia?" he asked, swirling the liquid in one of the glasses, before remembering and offering the second one to the girl.

Taking the glass, she answered. "Well, as you said; Peter dragged off Liam to the dance floor and left me here."

"Ah." he said and she nodded. They stood next to each other, sipping the kid champagne as the awkwardness grew. Maison looked around, trying to find a topic to talk about with her doppelgänger. Noticing the opened doors that lead to the terrace, she asked. "Do you want to go outside?"

His eyes followed her and nodded. They went outside and down the stairs to the garden. The garden was relatively big with blue jacaranda planted near vine covered columns and walls, trees that had their trunks twisted in strange shapes, a Japanese maple planted right in the middle, and colourful flowers planted around paths made of stone leading off to different parts of the garden with stone benches peppered around. As they neared the center, a well came into view.

"Why would there be a well here?" Mason asked, not expecting an answer as he peered down into the water.

"So that we couldcome out of the water."

Both Dippers turned to find an androgynous ball guest step from behind the tree. They had short, fluffy looking brown hair and quicksilver eyes. They were wearing a silver blue long skirt and a matching suit jacket with a white shirt underneath. The stranger's face confirmed that they were part of the Wolf family, even if their lips were more pouty and their eyes far sadder that the Dippers'. In their hand was a simple grey mask.

"What do you mean 'come out of the water'?"

They raised a brow. "Haven't you read the Wolf family tome?" the Dippers glanced at each other before nodding. "And yet you do not know who I am?" they had a slightly offended tone.

"I'm still on the Blue Wolves." said Mason and his counterpart nodded in agreement.

"Ah, so you've read about my grandparents."

Maison furrowed her brows, trying to remember the names of the grandchildren, who she only heard in passing. "Alpha?"

Their lips twitched. "That's my sister."

"...Beta?" tried Mason.

Half-smile. "Brother."

The pre-teens thought hard, the name on the top of their tongues. "Omega!"

Omega laughed. "Correct! Now," they walked pass them to sit on one of the benches. "What are you two doing here? Shouldn't you be at the ball?"

"We could ask you the same thing." both brunettes sat next to the seer. "And you didn't answer our previous question!"

Omega hummed. "I like coming to the garden at night. That's when the nocturnal flowers bloom; see." they pointed to a bed of glowing flowers. "As for the well... I ama siren capable ofturning their tail into legs. Now your turn."

The Yellow Wolveslooked at each other. "We were uncomfortable at the ball."

The older brunette nodded in understanding. "I know what you mean. Not everyone likes to mingle with the stuff oftheir nightmares."

They sat together, watching as glowing butterflies flew from flower to flower, dancing to the faintly heard music coming from the ball room. It was peaceful.

"Would you like to see the library?"

Both pre-teens nodded eagerly, excited to be in their element. Omega led them through a door, up a spiral of stairs, out a door and into a large stone hallway. "This way." they said. Up ahead, two women were having a quiet conversation. One of them, a woman dressed in a violet dress and black mask, nodded to the seer. "Good evening, Omega." her black eyes slid to the two Dippers. She pursed her lips. "Yellow wolves, I assume?"

Omega laughed. "Yes, and you're currently scaring them."

She huffed. "I've come to know that a healthy dose of fear stops the youngsters from trying to imitate the elders." the woman next to her snickered. She was dressed in a black suit with a blue undershirt. What caught their eye about her was that she had blue dreaded hair.

"Aww, sweetheart! Not every child is the same." her teasing tone brought a smile to the ravenette's lips.

"While I do find this show of affection endearing, I promised to show the cubs the library."

"Be sure not to spend too much time there less Gnaeus and Glaucia will throw a tantrum. Again."

Omega laughed. "Of course, of course. Have a pleasant evening."

When they were out of earshot Mason spoke, "Who was that?"

"That is the Family's doctor, Rose Prince-Thorn, and her wife, Joy Thorn. Lovely couple. I've heard that they've recently gained a third grandchild."

"But they're women." while both knew that their Peter/Penny were attracted to their same gender friend, neither expected to see a married same gender couple.

"That they are." Omega's tone was neutral.

"Ah, here we are." the trio stopped in front of a set of double door, a carving of a serpent on each. Omega grabbed the golden handles and pushed, reveling bookcases that reached the high ceiling. In front of them was a large open area filled with three round tables and a couple of armchairs that formed a half circle near the roaring fireplace. On closer inspection, one of those armchairs was occupied by a girl in a rococo styled green dress. Her hair, that might have once been done in some style, was messy and plastered against her face as she peacefully snored, an open book in her hands. The seer huffed, a smile tugging at their lips. "And that," they whispered, "Is your niece Helen. Best not wake her, this is probably the only time she has slept this week." they gently pushed them away from the girl and deeper into the library. The Dippers looked around, picking up books, and either returning them or taking them with themselves.

"It's time for me to return to the ball." the siren eyed the growing towers in their hands. "Perhaps it's best for you to start reading now. I doubt that either of you wants to return to the ball."

Both shook their heads, chins resting on the books. They followed the older version of themselves (and wasn't that a strange thing to think)back, lightly putting the books on the furthest table. A quick goodbye was exchanged before they dove in the first book.

Hours later, theYellow Wolves were found sleeping on the table, faces mushed against the books.

Chapter 14: Boss Mabel (and consultant Peter)

Chapter Text

"You ok back there?" Peter asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Yeah, just nervous." Dipper, wearing another pair of borrowed clothes, answered.

"About what?"

The girl didn't answer right away. Right when they were at the dirt road leading up to the shack did she speak.

"...I'm worried about Mabel.... How she's gonna react when I get there."

Peter pulled the car to the side and got out, switching to sit at the back with the girl. "Hey, look at me."

She lifted her head. "Is this about the height thing?" at her nod he continued. "Dipper, I'll be honest with you, I can't tell you that everything will be okay because I've never been in your situation. Imagination and reality are two very different things. Don't you dare say a thing about the forest creatures, you know what I mean." he lightly smiled at her. "But I do have friends who have twins, and let me tell you, from the things that they've told me it isn't sunshine and rainbows. As you grow older you realize that you two can't always be together because you both have different interests. You can't compare yourself to Mabel and she can't compare herself to you. No matter how similarly you look, you are two very different people. The earlier you realize this fact the better." he wrapped his arm around her shoulders in a hug. "But even if you aren't as close as you are now in the future, I know that you'll still love each other no matter what."

"Thanks Peter. You always know what to say." and she meant it.

"Well, sometimes you need the advice of a 21-year-old who's seen some sh*t and has a tendency to drink alcohol in the morning."

She laughed at that and he smiled. "Now then, since that's out of the way, let's get you back at the shack. And for f*ck's sake talk to Mabel, don't leave this alone and hope that it'll resolve itself. You've been avoiding her for two weeks, I can't keep hiding you. You don't have to tell her everything, you just need to talk. Got it?"

She nodded, although hesitantly.

They arrived just in time to see Stan throw his fez on his niece's head and drive away, his laughter audible. They parked near the shop's entrance and went to speak with Mabel. When she saw Dipper, her face blanked. They stood like that for a moment before Peter pointedly cleared his throat.

Getting the hint, Dipper let out a weak "Hey" that was return by her sisterbefore once again lapsing into silence.

This time it was Peter who spoke. "What was that about?"

"Huh?" Mabel teared her eyes away from her sister.

"That thing with Stan? Him giving you his prized fez and driving away laughing?"

"Oh, uh, we made a deal that I can make more money than him while he's on vacation." she lifted a large jar, nearly dropping it.

"Let me get this straight: you - a 12-year-old - made a bet with Stan Pines - aprofessional con man - that you - a child with absolutely no business experience - can make more money that him - a man who's capable of selling a a handful of dirt for hundreds of dollars?" he had put his hands against his mouth, palm against palm. At the brunette's proud 'yep' he inhaled deeply and bend his hands at the wrists so that his fingertips were pointing at her. "Girl." that single word seemed to convey all of the emotions that he was feeling about the whole ordeal. "This is the stupidest thing I've heard yet. I'm in."

"What."

"What?"

Both sisters were surprised at the young adult's decision.

"You heard me. I'd like to see how you run the shack. I won't be working but I will occasionally give you advice. So, how long is the oldcoot away for?"

While Mabel was exited, Dipper watched with growing fear.

Soos, Wendle and Dipper walked in Stan's office where Peter was leaning on one of the walls, a smirk present on his face as he waited for the chaos that was, without a doubt, going to happen.

"You wanted to see us, Mr. Pines?" the handyman asked, glancing curiously at the brunette.

Mabel turned around in the chair, revealing her blue suit and large glasses, and scooted closer to the desk. "Stan is no longer with us."

At the news, the man fell to his knees crying. "He's dead? No! It should have been me!"

"He's not dead, Ramirez, only on a 3 day vacation." Peter said.

The man sniffed, standing up. "Thank you for that clarification."

"Mabel's in charge now!" the new boss announced.

"Are those shoulder pads?"

"Uh huuuuuuh!" the peppy girl shook shoulder pads up and down. "It's just one of the up-to-date managerial tricks I learned from this book I found propping up the kitchen table." she held up "Succeeding In Management 1983"and drank out of a mug that said'#2 boss'.

"Why does your mug say "#2"?" her sister inquired.

"Because the real #1... is you!" she held up a mirror, making the employees laughed. "Walk with me." she got up, the foursome following her. "With me as boss you're gonna notice a few changes around here. My job is to help you be your best" she stopped in front of a blackboard, grabbing a teacher's pointer."'SELVES'. Satisfied, Everyday, Loving Life, Very Much, Everyday, Satisfied. Great listening ears so far!" she stamped a thumbs up sticker on each of the employees but when she tried to stamp one on Peter, he held up his hand and gave her a look. "Waddles, hold my calls!"

Said pig grabbed the phone with its mouth.

Continuing on in the gift shop, the temporary boss pulled up a chair. "Alright, people, now rap with me. Wendle, how can I make your work space more Wendle-friendly?"

The redhead rubbed his chin in thought. "Hmm, well, Stan never lets me hang out with friends at work."

"Stan ain't here! Door's open!"

"Sweet!"

"And Soos, I believe this is yours." she pulled out a giant foam question mark from a cabinet.

"Questiony the Question Mark!? I wish this was an exclamation point to show how excited I am!"

Peter and Dipper raised eyebrows at the apparent costume, expecting for the rest of it to be handed but no more clothes came. Dipper frowned while Peter appeared to be torn between being gleeful and sorry for what was to come.

"As for you Dipper..." she apparently drew a blank when it came time for her sister. Neither wanted to address the elephant in the room, something that the other employees were catching up on if the looks they shared were anything to go on.

Once again, Peter came to the rescue. "You'll be heading into the woods to find an amazing attraction."

Both girls looked at him gratefully.

"Yes! And, uh, don't come back until you've found it!"

Dipper turned to leave only to be stopped by Peter. "Make sure it's something easily contained, like a barf fairy or a leprecorn. They're in the journal."

She nodded, grabbed a nearby net and left.

"Okay, guys! It's time to prove that nice bosses finish first. In the next forty-eight hours, we're gonna fill this jar with six hundred billion dollars!" Mabel drew a line on the jar.

"Ok," interrupted Peter. "Ok. Love the enthusiasm, but how about we start with a more realistic goal; like say... two thousand."

Things were going surprisingly well. There were a few of the things the brunette girl had done were a bit questionable in Peter's opinion, such as putting milkshake in the water cooler, and making a smiley face out of a profit graph that was going down. She even gave 'top marks' to the employees that were just doing their job but the older brunette could see that that was a good thing. Tourists dropped money in the slowly but steadily filling jar, earning beaming smiles from the young boss. "Thank you! Ha ha! See you soon! Tell 'em Mabel sent you!"

"Mabel! Peter!" the two turned to see Dipper exit the forest with moving bag that was nearly her size.

"This is gonna blow those tourists away! Ha ha!" the girl laughed, too happy to worry about the awkwardness between her sister and herself.

"Nice job kid. Go inside and be with you in a moment to set it up." Peter ordered. Dipper smiled at the man and ran inside, lifting the bag a little so it wouldn't drag.

"You're gonna need to talk to her soon." he told the girl.

She looked away, her good mood slightly soured. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Before Peter could say anything the girl gasped. "Who's that? Is it Questiony the Question Mark?"

"Uh, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this, Mabel." Soos said, hiding behind a porta-potty. "I keep forgetting my lines. And this costume is more um..." he stepped out from behind the porta-potty, showing he only had his foam Question mark and underwear on. "revealing than I expected?"

Peter, whose earlier internal battlewas now won by sympathy, gave thehandyman-turned-mascot a bag. "Put this on, Ramirez. Before someone gets the wrong idea."

Soos looked inside to see a green tracksuit covered in black question marks. He smiled gratefully at the brunette and left to change.

"Now," he turned to Mabel. "It's time we had a small talk."

"How's my favorite Wendle?"

A can of soda fell on the ground, and Mabel looked up to see Natalia, Timber,Thompson, Lee and Wendle wrecking the shopwhile kicking around a shrunken head. Just as Natalia was about to give a hard kick to the shrunken head a booming voice called.

"WENDLE CORDUROY!"

They all turned to see Peter at the door, mouth set in a deep scowl and eyes narrowed in anger. "Office. Now." he hissed. "And bring your friends."

The teens looked at each other. They all knew and feared the man. Slowly, they shuffled to the designated room only moving faster when the man snapped at them.

"Mind the cash register, would you?" it wasn't a question. Unknown to her, he had saved her from losing half of the profits she had made.

Dipper, dressed like a miniature version of her grunkle, led around a group of tourists. "Ladies and gentle-tourists! This shack is filled with wonders, NEVER before seen by human eyes! Behold, the Leprecorn!" she showed them the creature. It had a body of a horse with the head of a rosy cheeked, bearded man that had a horn on his forehead. The tourists gasped, quickly taking pictures of the creature that was secretly glamoured by Peter to look like the rest of the exhibits in the shack.

"And," she lowered her voice, leaning towards them as if to tell a secret. "It is said that if you comb its beard, golden coins fall." she leaned back, her voice loud as she said the next part. "You can comb his beard for 50 dollars!"

The tourists shoved their money at the girl, each grabbing a comb from the box next to the creature.

*Flashback*

"Do I need to do this?" Dipper asked stepping out of the bathroom dressed in a black suit, similar to the one her grunkle wore when he scammed people.

"Yes." answered Peter, handing the girl a paper. "These are your lines."

"What? I don't need lines."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I'll win the people over by showing them an actual creature, not the ones grunkle Stan has."

Peter looked at her. "Dipper, do you think the towns people know about the creatures?"

Her browns furrowed, not seeing how it was relevant. "No. If they did know about them then they would have done something."

"Oh, they've already done something. And you know what that something is?"

She shook her head.

"They've created a society that erases the memories of any townsfolk that has seen anything supernatural." he maintained eye contact with her. "And you know what happens when you have your memories erased too many times?"

She shook her head again, dreading the answer.

"You lose part of yourself. An example of that is Old Man McGucket."

Dipper gasped.

"That's why it's best to have fake exhibits that are just for laughs thanan actual creature. After all, not all of them are harmless." he turned to leave but her voice stopped him.

"Why are you telling me this?"

He looked at her over his shoulder. "Because sometimes it's better to lie than to tell the truth. A little white lie never hurt anyone, not when it's told with the intent to protect people."

Dipper shook her head, dispelling the memories for the time being. She smiled broadly at the group. "And if you liked the Leprecorn, then you'll surely love," she moved to the next item which had the body of a bodybuilder with the hands, legs, tail and head of an antilope. "The Six-pack o' lope."

The visitors, as expected, ate it right up, cameras flashing.

In the gift shop, Mabel was ringing up a customer, saying a quick 'Thanks for shopping with us!' before running to righten a card display that a pair of kids nearly knocked over, then flattening a man's dollar when the snack machine wouldn't accept it. She turned to the cash register, happy to see that Wendle had returned after his talk with the older brunette, looking a little pale and shaking. At the door she saw Peter glaring as the redhead's friends left. Happy that she had one less job to do, they young girl slid down the wall, sighing.

"You're too soft on them." she looked up to see the young adult looking down at her.

"That's the Mabel way." she murmured. Peter rolled his eyes and sat next to her on the floor.

"Yes, I had to walk after you cleaning up. Look at Wendle," he jutted his chin towards the cashier. "If it wasn't for me, his friends would have made a bigger mess out of the shop and might have gotten us sued if the shrunken head that Natalia was kicking hit anyone."

"But Wendle was happy." the girl argued.

"But was he doing his job?"

Mabel opened her mouth, then closed it.

"Your work place is not a place for having friends over and messing around. Unless they work there or are buying something then they shouldn't be there. They distract you from your task. Now look at Soos."

She looked at the mascot that was making some of the shoppers laugh with his questions, showing others similar tracksuits to the one he was wearing.

"If I hadn't given him actual clothes, he would have made the people uncomfortable, especially the women. Before choosing a mascot costume, or a uniform, you need to check if its decent and practical for the job." he glanced at the girl, seeing her head lowered. "Mabel, not all of your ideas were bad, they just need to be thought through. A business isn't run by being nice, you have to be strick too or else people start using you. While 'please' and 'thank you' are polite things to say, they don't always earn you money. Understand?"

At her nod he smiled. "Good, now get back to your job!" he barked, startling her. "Show me how much you've understood from the speech I gave you and start giving orders." he glanced out the window to see a full bus arrive. "Starting now!"

"Yes, sir!" she said and turned to Wendle. "Wendle! Raise the prices!"

The teen, startled by the brunette's sudden change, followed the orders.

"Soos!" the man saluted. "Grab a mop and start cleaning. I want the floor so clean I can eat from it!"

"Yes, ma'm!" he quickly grabbed a mop.

"What's all this racket about?" Dipper poked her head out of the museum.

Mabel paused for a moment before continuing. "Dipper, we've got tourists at 9 o'clock!"

The girl blinked in surprise before smiling. "Got it boss!"

"Not bad." commented the young adult.

"Peter-"

"Don't you dare. I don't work here."

"So, how much did you make?"

Mabel smiled at the blue-eyed man, lifting up the large jar. "We filled the whole jar!"

The employees cheered.

"Not bad." he glanced at his phone. "And just in time; Stan's back."

On cue, Stan entered with a buzzing clock. "Tick-tock! Time's up, kids!"

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel jumped off the stool to hug her relative.

"Woh! You're more happy than I expected." he hugged her back.

"That's because we filled the whole jar!" said Dipper.

"How much did you earn?" asked the other brunette.

"I won $300,000!" the sisters gasped. "And then..."

"You lost it on the last question." filled in Peter. At everyone's questioning looks he added, "I watch Cash Wheel."

"Apparently that wordcan make you money." he huffed.

"So, wait. If you lost everything, then that means...Mabel! You won!" they cheered.

"Wait. What did we win again?" asked the handyman.

"Well, according to our bet, I guess Mabel's the new boss?" the moment he said those words, Stan was bombarded by pleads for that not to happen. "Huh? What?"

"Grunkle Stan, I had no idea how hard it was being boss. This whole time Peter was the one who corrected my mistakes and it wasn't until he explained to me where I went wrong did I understand." she handed him back his fez.

"Yeah, well, I got to admit, It's kind of nice to be back, ya know?" he hugged the twins briefly. "Okay, okay, that's enough, get offa me!" he turned to his two employees. "And Soos, Wendy; get to work! Ahem. Please. Uhh! Still hurts."

In the evening, when the girls were preparing for bed, Dipper tentatively said to her sister, "Mabel, we need to talk."

Her twin looked up from her bed. "About what?"

Dipper inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry."

Mabel tilted her head. "What? Why?"

"I'm sorry for disappearing for two week; I'm sorry for always rubbing my wins in your face."

The usually peppy girl's eyes widened before she looked away.

They were quiet for a moment, neither moving.

"...You didn't call."

"Mabel?"

"For two weeks you didn't call!" she stood up from her bed, beginning to pace. "The only thing I knew was that you were with a friend! I asked Liam if he had seen you but he said that he hadn't-"

That was a lie

"-I asked Peter if he knew where you were but he said that he hadn'ttalked to you in a while-"

That also was a lie

"-when I asked grunkle Stan where you were, he only said tHAT YOU WERE WITH A FRIEND!" she screamed, tears running down her cheeks.

Dipper watched, unsure how to react. "Mabel..."

"Why didn't you call Dipper? We are supposed to be best friends, us against the world." her voice sounded broken.

Cold hands squeezed Dipper's heart at the thought of what she was about to do. She took a step towards her sister, then another, then another, until she was in front of the girl.

"I'm sorry. You're right I should have called and I shouldn't have disappeared like that, but Mabel that's the thing..." she took a deep breath before continuing. "I needed to be away."

"...Why?"

She met her eyes. "Because I wanted some time for myself, away from you. Not because I don't love you but because I needed to figure out some things about myself."

"We could have done that together. You know, Mystery Twins style."

"But for how long?" the question surprised Mabel and Dipper continued. "How long will we be together? We'll grow older, each finding new interest, new friends. We'll still love each other but we won't be as close."

Her twin was quiet for a moment.

"Mab-"

"This is our last summer as kids... At the end of it we'll be teens... I-I'm just not ready to grow up Dipper."

"Hey." she put her hands on her twin's cheeks, drying the tears. "Nobody said that we have to grow up yet. We'll only be one year older. So don't cry."

Mabel sniffed, hugging her sister tightly. "Promise me that we'll still be together?"

"Mabel-"

"Promise."

Dipper slowly wrapped her arms around Mabel in a loose hug, mindfilled with the talk she had with Peter while she was at his house.

*Flashback*

"With the way your power is maturing you won't be able to stay here for long."

"How long do I have?"

"I'd say til the end of the summer."

"Can't we stop my training temporarily?"

"Maison, we are teaching you control, without it you could accidentally burn something, and that's a best case scenario."

"..."

"Sometimes it's better to lie thanto tell the truth."

"...I promise."

"A little white lie never hurt anyone, not when it's told with the intent to protect people."

Chapter 15: Mermaid? Merman.

Chapter Text

"Watch out,Gravity Falls, because at a110 degrees, we're looking at the hottest day of the summer!" the radio announced. The Pines family and Soos groaned, unhappy with the news and heat.

"All in favor of doing nothing all day say 'ugh'." Dipper said, using her signature hat as a fan.

"Ugh." the others said.

"I'm gonna throw this pig out of the house!" Stan yelled when Waddles walked up to him and proceeded to lick the ice-cream from his face. "You called my bluff, pig."

"On the bright side, pun very much intended, it's opening week at theGravity Falls Pool."

At the news they all perked up.

"Gravity Falls Pool?" asked Mabel.

"Today?" asked Dipper.

"Pun intended?" asked the handyman.

"Quick! To the car!" the grunkle exclaimed. He tried to get up but was unfortunately stuck to the floor by his sweat. "Hey, kids, a little help here?"

The sisters walked up tohim and attempted to separate the man from the floorby using spatulas. Soos shuddered when they succeeded.

"Alright! Off to the pool!" Stan turned around and on his back were the still stuck floorboards.

"And remember to be on alert for random wildfires!"

"Wait, what?" he asked, already outside, before screaming.

"He'll be fine." said Mabel.

A while later, the group arrived at the local pool all dressed in their swimwear. Dipper and Mabel were both wearing a one-piece, red and pink respectively, Soos was wearing purple swimming trunks, and Stan wore a striped grey victorian bathing suit.

"Ah, the pool! A sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!" Mabel said as they looked around for unoccupied chairs.

"Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's like the bus, but wet."grumbled Stan.

Dipper looked at Soos' towel. "Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?"

"It's best not to think about it." he replied.

"Whoa, whoa!" Mabel suddenly stopped in her tracks. "Stop the presses! Who's that?" she was looking at adark skinned boywith long, wavy, shiny brown hair and along nose.

"Oh, yeah." Soos ate a corn chip. "Word is, dude never leaves the pool. People say he's a 'Mysterious loner'."

"Is it getting hot out here or is it just that guy?" she fanned herself, eyes not straying away from the guy.

"It's the hottest day of the year, Mabel." her twin dully said. "Besides, can't you go for one week without having a new crush on some random guy?"

"Uh-uh." she gasped. "Look at his little mustache hairs!"

"You are clearly enamored. Go to him." said the handyman.

And she did. She ran across the pool, tripped over a bucket, then stumbled on two men in lawn chairs, then got her foot stuck in a chair, broke it free and in the process knocked over a basket of beach balls.

"It's so beautiful!" commented Soos.

"Eh, Mabel's all talk. You wanna know a secret? She's never even kissed a guy before. She always messes it up somehow." said Dipper.

"Oi. Women." agreed Stan. He then got hit in the face by a water balloon. "Aaah!"

"Hey, Mr. Pines!" greeted Wendle, wearing red swim trunks and sitting in the lifeguard's chair.

"Wendle? Where's the lifeguard?"

"I am the lifeguard. I make the rules, sucka!" he threw another balloon at Stan.

"Aah! He's attacking me with water!" Stan ran away from the assault, making the others to laugh.

"Wow. You work here?" the young brunette asked.

"I found out lifeguards get free snack privileges. Plus I get the best seatin the house."

"Yeah, you do!" she laughed, then whispered. "I've been laughing for too long..."

"Dude, are you and Wendy having a secret staring contest?" Soos asked. "'Cause I think you're winning—"

"Soos! Shh!" she pushed the man away, leaving the redhead confused. "So, hey, you wanna go chuck more water balloons at grunkle Stan?"

"I'd love to, but I gotta spend the day doing tryouts. We're looking for a new assistant lifeguard."

"Hey," she cleared her throat. "What if I was the assistant lifeguard?"

"That would be so much fun! You're totally in, dude!" he threw a rescue can her. "You just have to check in with my boss first,Mr. Poolcheck."

"Your boss?"

Wendle nodded his head towards a muscular man doing push ups with his index fingers.

"Oh boy." she whispered.

In the pool, Mabel's latest crush was drinking lemonade when the girl burst out of the water.

"Wow! Oh my gosh, how crazy bumping into you even though we don't know each other!" she leaned on his inflatable raft.

"How long have you been underwater?" he asked, his voicedeep and masculine with a Spanish accent.

"That doesn't matter!" she coughed up a band-aid."So, hey! My name's Mabel."

"Hola." he greeted.

"Whoa! Are you Australian?"

The boy laughed. "I am charmed by your sense of humor. And your bold lack of water-wings!"

Mabel laughed. "You're so funny!" then added, "And your hair is beautiful..."

"No, no it has silly tangles!"

"Mind if I..." she pulled out a comb and started to brush it.

"Why, Mabel. You are so forward." he laughed again.

This is it! He likes you! Go for it, Mabel! It's time! Ask him out on a date!

"So, hey, you wanna go dry off? Maybe hit the snack bar or—?"

"I-I'm afraid I cannot! For I have a terrible secret! I must go." he swam off.

"I'm upset." she frowned before smiling. "Yet intrigued."

"And that is why I think I'd make a good lifeguard assistant." Dipper concluded as Mr. Poolcheck nailed on a sign.

"Hmm..." he crouched and sniffed the girl. "SPF 100? Good, I like you. But this isn't an easy job. It's anarchy out there." he pointed to the pool, where it was the opposite of what he had said.

"...I think I can handle it."

"Can you handle this?!" he pulled of his hand, revealing it to be prosthetic, and making Dipper scream. "I lost my hand to a pool filter. The pool may seem friendly, but she can turn on you in an instant. Which is why you must respect her rules! Do you think you have what it takes, girl?" he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "Do you?!"

Dipper glanced at Wendle, who was giving her a thumbs up. "Sure, I guess."

Mr.Poolcheck presented her a whistle. "Welcome to the deep end."

"Well, thanks, I—" the man suddenly brought her in for a bone crushing hug. "Yep. Oh, this is happening."

"There she is, Soos." Stan showed the handyman a lawn chair. "Equidistant from the snack bar and the bathroom. Just the right amount of sun and shade. And pointed away from whereOld Man McGucketlotions himself.The perfect lawn chair."

"The legends that you told me in the car were true."

"I just can't believe it wasn't already taken. And now to sit on it, thereby claiming it as my own." he sat down, leaning back but a foot rested on his back just as he did. "What?!"

"Why, hello Stanford." Gideon Gleeful greeted, rubbingsunscreen on his cheeks.

"Gideon!" he stood up. "Get outta my chair, kid!"

"Oh my, was this your chair." he sat up, turning to look at the towel the elder Pines had put on the chair that read 'Property Of Stan'. "I had no idea." he then added in a whisper. "Yes I did, Stan, I knew."

"Move it, you little troll!"

"First come, first serve!" he giggled and proceeded to roll around in the chair, further angering the con man.

"I'll first serve you!" he picked up the boyand a whistle suddenly blew.

"Come on, Wendle!" said Stan as said redhead fiddled with the lock of pool jail. "You can't do this to an old man!"

"Sorry, Stan, it's not up to me." he chuckled. "Actually, it is."

Dipper ran up to the teen, holding up the whistle. "Hey, Wendle, I got the job!"

"Sweet! Wanna go abuse our power?"

"But what if Poolcheck catches us? He seems emotionally unstable." she looked at aforementioned man, who was doing sit-ups on the chain-link fence.

"Nah, don't worry." he wavedoff her concerns. "You just gotta be sneaky about your rule-breaking. Race you to the no running sign!" they ran, Wendle in the lead with Dipper following and giggling. She then saw Mr.Poolcheck drinking water from the pool. When he looked at her,licking the extra water off his face, Dipper slowed down.

"How long you in for?" asked one of the kids who were also in pool jail.

"Two hours for roughhousing, but I'm innocent!" said the grunkle.

"Pool jail ain't so bad... as long as you don't wind up in solitary." he nodded to a kid trapped in a pool vent.

The boywas minding his own business when Mabel came out of the water, but then dropped under again whenhe looked her direction. Again, Mabel appeared, but ducked yet again whenhe thoughthe heard her. Mabel then popped out of the water with a loud 'Hey there!' that made the poor boy scream.

"I brought you a sandwich. It's sort of wet, but it's still good. Blop." she put the sandwich on the raft. "I like sharing things." she continued. "Sandwiches, secrets."then whispered. "Share your secret, beautiful stranger."

"That wet sandwich does look delicious." wind blew at his hair. "Oh, very well. But you must never tell another living soul my terrible secret."

At Mabel's nod he continued. "You have to stay away from me because I am..." he pushed away his inflatable raft, revealing his green tail. "...Amerman."

She exhaled in relief. "Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were gonna say you had a girlfriend!" she then examined the beautiful tail. "A merman... ha! I should have known from your strange foreign fish language."

"It is Spanish."

"Your voice is so deep and masculine... how old are you?"

"I am 12 years old. Merman's voices change when we are, like, 3."

"So what's your name?" she asked.

"There are some who call me..." he played a chord on a guitar. "Mermando!" and once again, wind blew at his hair. "This is because Mermando is my name."

"But I don't understand Mermando. What's a guy like you doing in a public pool?"

"It is a tragic story, Mabel."

*Flashback*

I was swimming with my friends, the mighty dolphins, in the Gulf of Mexico, when I was ensnared!

Mermando was swimming with dolphins when he was caught in a fishing net and brought up next to a boat.

"Earl, did we just catch ourselves some kind of beautiful man-fish?" one of the fishermen asked the other.

"Let's feast on his flesh." Earl said.

The cargo was headed for Gravity Falls.

A truck with 'Gulf O' Fish' stopped next to a shop selling bait. Mermando opened up the back of the truck and hopped into the lake.

Using all my strength, I tried to escape back home, but it was not to be.

Mermando swam up a waterfall. When he reached the top, he laughed, but suddenly, a log hit him in the face. He fell and landed into the forest surrounding the lake. He spit a tooth out.

I would have died of dehydration, were if not for the kindness of the forest animals.

A herd of deer walked up to the dying merman and started to lick him, theirsaliva saving him.

"Continue licking! Oh!" Mermando shifted, the licking tongues tickling. But because of his moving around he fell down a pipe, through the forest, over the fence of the Gravity Falls pool, and into the pool. He broke the water's surface, gaspingfor air.

"But now that you know what I am, you must be seriously weirded out."

"What?! I don't care that you're a merman. You're, like, the coolest guy I've ever met. And you can play at least one chord on the guitar."

"Oh, Mabel, I have never met another human like you. Would you care to join me in a game of the Marco Polo?"

"Oh, yes, Mermando! Yes!" she hugged him tightly.

"You are covering my gills. I cannot breathe." he gasped.

Mabel quickly let him go, allowing him to breath in deeply. She laughed awkwardly. "Weird."

Stan watched Gideon put on sunscreen from afar.

"Look at him, that smug chair stealing jerk!" he growled. "But I can't touch him, or the pool patrol will throw me in pool jail. Hmm..." he looked around and saw a familiar head of blond hair in the water. "Liam!" he called.

Liam turnedto see Stan beckoning him.

"What is it Mr.Pines?" he asked.

"I need you to do me a favor. You have your father's abilities, right?"

Liam held up his hands, palms facing the older man. "Mr.Pines, I'm not as good as my dad. My magic isn't powerful enough to pull off a-"

"I don't need you to do that." interjected Stan. "I need you to go over there and make Gideon get off my chair."

The blond blinked in surprise, looking at where Stan was pointing. "That's all?"

"Yeah."

"Ok." he exited the pool and went to the kid. He spoke for a bit with him and then Gideon stood up with hazy eyes, gathered all of his belongings, and walked away. Right away, Stan walked up to the teen and slapped him on the back.

"Nice job kid!" he praised.

"No problem Mr.Pines. I'm going to go now..." he turned to leave before stopping. "Oh, dad said to tell you that you'll be getting the items tomorrow."

Stan nodded solemnly.

Soos was putting an inflatable duck, ready to have a dip in the pool.

"Soos." a squeaky voice called.

The man looked down at the duck. "Inflatable duck guy, is that you?"

"Yes, Soos, I cantalk."

"Oh my gosh, I knew you guys were secretly alive. Iknewit!"

Wendle and Dipper were around the corner with a megaphone, looking at Soos, as they are the ones making the inflatable duck talk. They laugh and shushed each other.

"My people have been enslaved, Soos. You must free us."

"The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand."

The two lifeguards laughed. Suddenly, a whistle was heard.

"Pool's closing! Clear out everyone!" Mr.Poolcheck announced, driving around in the pool mobile.

"Poolcheck!"

"Hide!" hissed Wendle. They ran.

"Out!" the man ordered the people still in the pool, "Do not touch!" he told Soos who was about to grab the inflatable ducks. "Assistant Lifeguard!" Dipper stopped in her tracks and Mr.Poolcheck stopped next to her. "Have a good night." he took off his prosthetic, tapping it so that the keys would fall out. "Lock up the supplies for me."

Mabel and Mermando were brushing each other's hair when the whistle was blown.

"The pool, she closes. Can I see you tonight?" asked the merman.

"Sure. Where? Wanna go for a walk?"

"Merman." he reminded. "I am a merman."

"Oh, right." she got out of the pool. "Then I'll be back tonight."

That night, Mabel drove the golf cart to the local pool. Using a pool skimmer, she was able to climb over to fence. When she got in the pool she said, "Look! Here's a scrapbook of human stuff." and pointed at the scrapbook. "Here's me standing with my legs. And here I am kicking Dipper in her legs. She couldn't move her legs after that! Can you imagine? Not having legs?"

"Let's skip this part." he said, a bit angry.

"And here's my whole family kick boxing!" she pointed at a picture.

Mermando sighed and swam away.

Mabel followed him, a worried look on her face. "What's wrong?"

Mermando took his guitar out and played it, but it didn't sound well. He angrily poured the water out and started to talk. "I, too, used to have a family once. Back in the ocean." he opened his necklace to reveal a photo of his family. "How I miss them." he closed it.

"Mermando, why don't you just leave the pool?"

"I've tried only once, but escaping this pool required a plan that was bold and daring."

*Flashback*

It was nighttime and the pool was closed, leaving only Mermando. He jumped out the pool but he didn't get far and flapped for water. He hit chairs, a parasol, and got pecked by a wood pecker, before rolling into the pool.

"And then the wolves came." he turned to Mabel, changing the subject. "No, I'm glad that I'm here, 'cause I met you."

Mabel watched him, a shooting star falling in the background.

This is it, Mabel. First kiss moment, here we come! Just go for it!

She pursed her lips and leaned towards the merman.

"What are you doing with your mouth?" he asked.

"Me? Nothing. This?" she pursed her lips for a moment. "I was eating some sour candy. So my lips were doing that. The candy was so sour."

"...Can I have some candy?"

"...No."

The next day, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland were putting suncream on when the sheriff suddenly got trapped by a life saver fallen from the top.

"Wha-what the?"

The deputy also got trapped. "I'm scared!" he exclaimed.

"Me too!"

Near them, on the lifeguard chairs were Wendle and Dipper, holding a life saver.

"One hundred points!" said the brunette.

"Dude! With this job, you and me are gonna be havin' fun all summer!" said the teen.

Dipper blushed. "All summer?"

Mr.Poolcheck blew a whistle. "Pines! Here! Now!"

Dipper grimaced.

Dipper stood in front of the pool supplies building, back straight, as her boss paced.

"You gave me your word that you would respect the safety rules of this pool!" he said.

"Mr. Poolcheck? Are you crying?" she asked.

"That's not important right now!" he yelled, red faced, and wiped his eyes. "You are on thin ice, girl! You wanna keep this job? Well, some maniac broke in to the supplies closet last night and destroyed our one and only pool skimmer!" he held up the skimmer. "I want you on a stakeout. If one more supply gets taken, you're fired!"

"I won't let you down!" she saluted.

"Mermando, get ready! I'm gonna BRING THE HEAT!" Mabel threw a beach ball at the merman, hitting him in the face. "Mermando, are you okay?" she asked, worried about her crush. The brunette swam up to her and she understood."Oh, it's your family, isn't it? Are you thinking about them?"

Mermando made a dolphin sound that could be accepted as an affirmative.

"Mermando, enough is enough! I care about you too much to see you like this. We're gonna bust you out of here and get you back to your family."

"But Mabel! Escape is impossible."

"We're breaking you out of here tonight!" she hit the water with her fist, splashing them in the process. "Oops! Sorry about that. Water."

That night, Dipper guarded the pool, wearing her vest over her clothes and a cap with 'Night Patrol' written on it.

"Alright, Dipper, here's the plan." she told herself. "Catch the trespasser, protect the supplies, keep job at pool, and eventuallydate Wendle."

Hearing a noise coming from a bush, she was about to go to it until she saw lights coming from there as well. She moved back, hiding in the shadows.

Out of the bush came Mabel in the golf cart. This surprised Dipper but she stayed quiet, remembering what Peter had taught her.

"When hunting, don't rush things. Be calm and observe, let your prey drop their guard. When the time is right, shoot. This is also good advice for when you're spying. Gather as much information as you can before making a move."

So she watched.

Mabel got off the cart and went tothe supply closet. Using a pin, she unlocked the door."Are you ready to see your family?" she asked Mermando.

"Yes, but how can I, a merman, possibly escape?"

"Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch fish sticks to make you a prosthetic pair of people legs." she showed him a drawing of the plan.

"Intriguing." he nodded.

"But then I realized that I could just transport you in this cooler." she dragged the cooler to the cart, securing it in the back and filling it up with water.

Dipper worried her lip, torn between letting her sister save the merman and stopping them. After a bit of thinking she decided to do both. She checked to make sure that the phone given to her by Peter was indeed in her pocket and prepared a spell before stepping into the moonlight, just as her sister had finished helping the merman into the cooler.

"Who's there!" she shined her torch at her twin, making sure to act surprised. "Mabel? What are you doing here?"

"Uh, no reason." she lied. Mermando unfortunately chose that moment to clear his throat.

"Did that cooler just clear its throat?" Dipper asked, tightening her grip on the spell.

"Don't be silly. There certainly isn't a merman in there, if that's what you're implying. Who said anything about a merman?"

Dipper wondered if she was also that bad at lying. "Mabel,"she tried to put as much emotion as she could in that single word. "Why are you trespassing?"

Her twin looked around, trying to find a distraction. Finally, she blurted out. "Hey, look! Wendle in a speedo!" she then got in the cart.

Seeing this, Dipper threw the spell, immediately freezing Mabel. She walked up to the girl and waved her hand in front of her face. When no movement was made, she walked to the cooler, opening it to reveal the merman.

"...Hola." he greeted, glancing at Mabel.

Dipper sighed. "Just a moment." she walked a few feet away, keeping the cart in her view, and fished out the phone, selecting one of the two numbers saved. Two rings later a sleepy voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Liam. Sorry for waking you up but I need some help and Peter's away on a hunting trip."

"Sure." a yawn. "Wha'chu need?"

"I have a merman here that needs to be set free."

"..."

"...Liam? You there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. It's just-a merman? Really?"

"Yeah, we're at the pool. Might wanna hurry up. I'm not sure how long the spell will keep Mabel frozen."

The line was silent for a moment before Liam hung up. She walked to the cart, Mermando watching her warily.

Five minutes later, Liam arrived.

"Where's your scooter?"

"I'm too tired to drive safely." he looked at the merman. "Huh. Where are you from?"

"...The Gulf of Mexico?"

Liam nodded and turned to Dipper. "We can release him in the lake and you can summon one of the sirens to escort him to Mexico."

"Summon? How do I do that?"

"Well, more like contact of them and hope they come."

"But I haven't done that before! You guys only taught me the theory! What if I contact something else?!"

"Dipper," Liam put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. "As long as you don't contact Bill Cipher we're good."

She nodded after a moment and they got into the cart.

"Ok, so how do I contact Omega?"

Dipper and Liamwere on the shore with Mermando already in the water.

"You need to contact Alpha or Beta for this job." said the blond.

Dipper looked at him in surprise. "But I don't know them."

"Just-just imagine a more confident Omega. And add in the colours orange, red and yellow." he then added as an afterthought. "It will also be easier if you were in the water."

She looked at the water in vexation. She sighed, took off her vest, cap, shoes and socks, and went in, shivering from the cold.

"It will be less cold if you just throw yourself in the water." said the dhampir.

Dipper flipped him off and he laughed. When the water was to her waist, she took a deep breath and concentrated. The two men had recently taught her the spell for contacting her relatives in case of an emergency. While the steps seemed simple they were harder to do if you were distracted.

Step 1: Imagine the person that you want to contact, preferably their magic.

Dipper concentrated on the feelings that she got from Omega. Their magic was more subtle but filled with sorrow. She imagined it more crude and flashy.

Step 2: Everyone in the family has a colour that is associated with them, some have more than one. Mix in the colour with the magic.

Omega was grey, blue and silver. She imagined red, orange and yellow. It helped that the sun was rising.

Step 3: Grab that mixture and pull it towards yourself. It might fight back, but don't let it go. If it slips away grab it again. Continue doing this until the desired being has arrived.

The mixture was weird but she grabbed it with her fire and pulled.It escaped several times but she always caught it again. After a while it was easier to hold and pull it; like it was willingly following.

"And who would you be?"

Her eyes snapped open(when had she closed them?) to see herself, albeit older. The woman - siren? - had light brown hair and yellow eyes. Her tail was mostly yellow and orange and the occasional red scale here and there. She blushed and looked away because the siren (Alpha,a small part of her whispered) was leaning on her elbows and wasn't wearing anyclothing.

She cleared her throat, eyes still dutifullystrayed away from the siren. "I am the Yellow Wolf and need your help." she was pleased that her voice cracked only a little.

Alpha made a sound, it was high pitched yet pleasing to hear. "And why would you need my help?"

"The merman, Mermando, was separated from his family and I need you to escort him to the Gulf of Mexico."

Alpha was intrigued by the girl standing in front of her. She was different from the one Omega had described. "Alright," she said. "But I want something in return."

Dipper looked back, meeting the siren's yellow eyes. She gulped, Peter had warned her to always be wary when a siren wants something. "And what would that be?"

Alpha smiled. "A book." she then pouted."I've read all of the ones in my library and need something new."

"And which book would you like?" the brunette held her breath, there was still the chance of her wanting a very rare book or one that did not exist.

Her smile returned. "The novel 'Good Omens' by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gailman."

Dipper looked at Liam, unsure what answer to give the woman. Liam fiddled with his phone before giving her a thumbs up. She turned to the smiling seer. "Deal."

Alpha's smile turned sharp, showing rows of needle sharp teeth. She suddenly grabbed Dipper's hand, pulling her forward, and hissed,"Deal."before submerging into the water and seconds later appearing twenty meters away. "Come along Mermando, you're family is waiting for you."

Mermando looked that the waiting siren then turned to the brunette and blond. "I can't thank you enough."

"Don't sweat it." said Dipper. "You should probably hurry."

Mermando nodded. He looked at the cart where Mabel sat, still frozen in time. "With your blessing I would like to write letters to Mabel."

Dipper followed the merman's gaze to her sister, having forgotten that she was there. "You have my blessing, just don't tell her of how you actually left the pool."

Mermando smiled at her gratefully and submerged, joining the siren.

Mr.Poolcheck inspected the supplies and area around the pool before turning to the girl. He nodded, a smile on his face. "Nice job Pines. Nothing is broken. Have you caught the maniac?"

"No, sir." she lied. "This was probably a one time thing."

The man was displeased but nodded. "Alright, get back to your station. We're opening in ten minutes."

Dipper was just about to climb up the lifeguard chair when a water balloon hit her. She wiped away the water and saw Wendle walking up to her, dressed in normal clothes.

"Hey, why aren't you in swimwear?" she asked, and blushed.

"Eh,I just got fired." he shrugged.

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. I guess Poolcheck found out I was taking too many snacks."

"How many?"

Wendle lifted up his hat to reveal a stack Cornocorno packs. She laughed before she realized what that meant.

"So you won't be sneakily breaking rules in the pool all summer?"

"No, but that doesn't stop us from breaking rules elsewhere."

They laughed.

"Listen, I need to get going, I promised Robin that I would listen to a new song she wrote."

"Yeah, see you later."

She watched Wendle walk away and look down at the whistle.

Chapter 16: My room

Chapter Text

"Hwaah! Total domination! I am the master of Attic Stuff Mini-golf!"cheered Mabel when the fake eye she was using as a golf ball rolled into a cup. "From the mighty Swiss Alps! To the badlands ofDipper'sold laundry where man fears to tread!"

"Alright, let a pro on the field, or floor." Dipper said, walking up to another fake eye and prepared to hit it. "Whatever."

Shehit the eyeball hard, making it bounce around the room and crash throughthe window.

"Ah, my head! It hit me right in the head!" screamed Stan from outside.

"Yes! Stan shot. Is that legal?" they both looked at Waddles and saw him eating the scorecard.

"The judges say it's out of bounds." said Mabel.

"You're out of bounds!" said Dipper, lightly jabbing her twin with her golf club.

"Hey! Watch it!" Mabel returned the jab. They continued to jab each other until Mabel's Meow o'clock started to ring. "Hey, Dipper, I gotta go hang out withCandyandGrendatonight." said the rosy-cheeked girl, handing her golf club.

"Aw, again? You can't leave mid-game."

"Don't be silly, I'm not leaving. My friends are coming to me!"

"Wait, what?" she dropped the clubs, looking around the room in a panic. "Oh no. No no no. Sleeping bags? Rom-coms?Calling All Boys: Preteen Edition?! You're not having a—"

The door opened to reveal Candy and Grenda. "Sleepover!"

Dipper screamed.

Mabel, Grendaand Candy, already dressed in their pyjamas,were sitting on the floor, talking.

"Okay, so how much do you like boys?" asked Mabel.

"So much!" answered Grenda.

"Boys make me think about kissing!" the korean girl said.

"Candy! Oh my gosh!" Grenda threw a pillow at her friend, hitting her in the face.

"We are so crazy tonight!" Mabel screamed in delight, her friends joining her shortly.

On the other side of the room Dipper laid in her bed with a pillow over his ears.

"Who wants to smear makeup on my face?" asked Grenda.

"Ugh, you're already so beautiful, Grenda. What would be the point?" said Mabel.

Grenda punched the floor repeatedly, chanting, "Beautiful! Beautiful!"

"Arrrrgh! Mabel!" Dipper stood up. "Do you think you can do this somewhere else?! You're laughing at frequencies only dogs should hear!"

"Come on, it's not that bad."

"You know what yoursister needs?" asked Grenda, making the girl gasp.

"A makeover?"

Candy held up some beauty products.

Dipper screamed again.

Dipper was walking down the hallway with her pillow and blanket, a scowl on her face. Spotting the handyman she asked. "Hey Soos,can I sleep in your break room tonight?"

"Of course, dude." he opened the door that he was screwing a sign onto reveal a very cramped room with hazardous pipes and steam. "You just gotta make your body go like a video game puzzle block. Beebity boop boop beep beepity boop bop boop boop." he got into the room by moving his body into an odd position "The trick is to hold perfectly still." he restedhis hand on a pipe and his arm got scorched. "Ow, wait wait." it got scorched again.

"I think I'll sleep somewhere else..."

Dipper stood on the edge of the forest, worrying her lip.

Peter's still on a hunting trip so that leaves Liam's house...

She looked back at the shack, seeing and hearing the girls have fun. "Liam's house it is."

Dipper stopped in front of the chalet, the wolves on either side of her. The curtains were drawn and no light came from the windows.

"He's probably asleep, wouldn't want to wake him up." she turned to leave but the wolves pulled on her clothes. "Ok, fine!" she walked up to the door and rang the bell. Moments later the door was opened.

"Hey Li-" her jaw dropped. In front of her stood Noel Murik in all his glory. Noel was a man in his early 40s with a lean and muscular physique. He had pale skin, honey-coloured hair and green eyes. And he was also her favourite crime and mystery author.

"Yes?" he asked, raising a bemused eyebrow.

"You're Noel Murik." she stated.

"Yes, I am. And you're Maison Wolf."

She nodded, still slack-jawed.

The wolves, having had enough of their master's silence, pushed the girl forward, whining. That snapped her out. She cleared her throat and said, "It's an honour to meet you Mr.Murik; I'm a big fan of your work. Is Liam here?"

Noel opened the door wider, allowing the starstruck girl and wolves in.

"Liam's asleep. From the piercing screams coming from the attic of the shack, I assume that your sister is having another one of her sleepovers and you need a place to stay for the night."

"Yeah - yes." she looked around. Few of the lights were turned on, ones only needed to enlighten the author's way to the door.

"You can sleep in one of the guest rooms. Would you like something to drink? A glass of hot milk with honey?"

"Yes, please."

They moved to the kitchen, and as the man prepared the drink she noticed music playing.

"Are you listening to music?"

"Yes, Paganini. I've found that it helps me write." he placed the glass in front of her.

"A new book?"

He smiled, showing his fangs. "No, I'm writing fanfiction."

"Aren't most books fiction?"

"Yes, they are. But what I'm currently writing is more of a 'screw canon' sort, or at least that's what my son told me."

"Oh."

She sipped her milk.

"My son told me that you work at the local pool?"

"Yes!" she lowered her voice. "I do, but only as an assistant lifeguard. We recently had to hire a new lifeguard as Wendle - the old one - was fired."

He hummed. "And who's the new one?"

"Kai Taylor."

He blinked in surprise. "Kai moved here?"

"I guess?" she wasn't very close to the woman.

"Huh."

She sipped at her beverage while the author observed her, his head slightly co*cked to the side and brows furrowed. He looked like he was trying to solve a difficult puzzle.

"This isn't the first time you've spent the night here, is it."

It was out of the blue and sounded more of a statement than a question.

"No, not really."

"Training related?"

"Partly."

"Oh?" he leaned forward.

"Well," she pushed the empty glass away. "Itdidn't start out as training. After Mabelstarted going to - or having - sleepoversI started spending the night at either Peter's or Liam's house learning spell theories or more about my family, role and abilities."

"Better than just wasting your time doing nothing." he smiled. "And your grunkle doesn't mind that you're not at the shack?"

She blinked. "No, not really. It's like he knows the reason behind my 'sleepovers'."

Noel pressed a finger to his lips, eyes glinting.

The next day, Mabel, with her hair messed up and 'PARTY GURL' written on her forehead, woke up in a state of confusion. "Ugh...what happened last night?" she looked around, spotting Candy tappedtothe ceiling. "Woah!"

"What's up, party girl?" she waved.

Grenda, with lipstick smeared all over her face, walked out of the closet. "I don't know what I was kissing in there, but I have no regrets!"

"Candy falls down now." the small girl fell, knocking down the Eiffel Tower from the twins' mini golf.

"That was awesome, girls." Mabel said, fixing her hair and waved. "See you again soon!"

The two walked out of the room and Dipper walked in.

"Hey, sister! Want any of this leftover pizza? It's got glitter on it!"

"No, thanks." she went to get one of the books Liam had lent her and noticed the ruined mini golf course. "Mabel! You guys wrecked the room!"

The girl laughed. "Yeah, Grenda sure loves breaking things."

"Mabel, we need to lay down some ground rules if we're gonna be living in this room together. First of all, no sleepovers."

"What?! Well," she crossed her arms. "if I can't have sleepovers, then you can't keep me up every night with your summer reading."

"How does reading keep you up?"

*Flashback*

Dipper was reading a book titled "The Curiosity Shop" by Noel T. Murik late one evening. She gasped. "Curious, indeed. But where is the cat?" she clicked her pen several times, unaware that Mabel was having a hard time falling asleep because of it.

"Well, at least my braces don't whistle when I breathe."

"At least I wash my clothes once in a while." Mabel picked up a pair of underwear with the fun stick.

"Washing clothes is a waste of time, I'm a busy girl!"

At that Mabel started to meow incessantly, getting on her sister's nerves.

"If you meow one more time—" she threatened, yet the brunette continued. "Okay, that's it! That's the final straw! Maybe we shouldn't share a room anymore."

"Wah," Mabel realized how far they went in that moment, but she didn't back down. "well maybe we shouldn't!"

"Fine by me!"

"Double fine by me!" they glared at each other.

"Then we need to talk to Grunkle Stan about moving rooms."

"Yeah. He's a reasonable guy."

Stan was in the living room watching a showwith two guys pushing each other. "Fight, fight, fight!" he changed the channel to a station that had two deer fighting each other and continued his chant. He changed the channel again to a station airingBaby Fights. "T.V. It knows what I want."

"Grunkle Stan, we want different rooms." said Dipped the moment she stepped into the living room.

"Ha! And I want a pair of magic money pants. It's not gonna happen."

"Magic money pants...?" mumbled Mabel.

"Come on, grunkle Stan. Can't we work something out?"

"Look kid, there's my room and the attic. That's it. What do you think, there's some kinda secret hidden room in theShack?"

A loud crash startled the Pines.

"Dudes!" yelled Soos. "I found some kind of secret hidden room in the Shack!"

"Okay, so I was cleaning up behind this bookcase when boom! Mystery door! This old Shack is full of weird secrets." the handyman opened the door and they all looked into it. Dipper and Mabel walked in and look around. The room was large, fully furnished, and with a bathroom. It was covered in dust and cobwebs with the window boarded up.

"Experiment 78?" Dipper read the rug's tag. "Grunkle Stan, what is this place?"

"I don't know. Just another room I gotta clean up now." he grumbled, quickly taking a pair of glasses off a table.

"This carpet is amazing!" said Mabel, making snow angels on the shag carpet.

"Yeah, if you're into things that are terrible."

Dipper saw a key on the wall and grabbed it. "Problem solved, I'll move in here!"

"What?" Mabel sat up. "Why do you automatically get the room? We both saw it at the same time."

"Wait a second." Stan took the key from the girl. "So you both want this room, huh?I guess I'll give it to whichever one of you I like more." he untied his shoe. "Uh oh. Looks like my shoe's untied."

The sisters looked at each other for a second before diving to tie the shoe.

Stan laughed. "To the kitchen! Fight, fight, fight!" he ran to the kitchen, the twins made to follow but were stopped at the door by Soos.

"Whoa! I don't know dudes, this room gives me major, creep-o vibes. Y'know, the attic is a pretty good space. Maybe you two should appreciate what you got."

The two looked at each other before running out the door.

"Heh. Hey, what do I know?" he said, grabbing a nearby broom. "Maybe there's nothing creepy going on in this room." as he swept around, the carpet's tag crackled with electricity.

In the kitchen, Mabel and Dipper were elbowing each other.

"Okay, here's how it's gonna go down." Stan held up the key. "Whoever sucks-up the hardest get's the key to the new room."

"Grunkle Stan, we're not gonna suck-up to you just to get the new room." said Dipper.

"Yeah, we are!"

"10suck-up points for Mabel!"

"I mean—uh—yeah, we are!"

"Trying too hard. Minus 15 suck-up points."

"What?"

"Good decision grunkle Stan!" praised Mabel.

"Trying way too hard! Plus 50 suck-up points!"

Dipper's expression darkened.

"Now," he held up a bucket filled with tiles. "who wants to re-tile the roof in searing 105-degree heat?"

"Me me! I'll do it!" they said in unison. Dipper grabbed the bucket and ran out, Mabel right behind her.

"He he. Stan, you're a good uncle." he patted himself on the shoulder as the girls yelled outside.

The girls were mowing the grass as Stan drank lemonade on the outdoor couch. Dipper stopped for a short break.

"Dipper, you're phoning it in!" her grunkle called, making her continue. He drank some of the beverage. "Man, that's refreshing. 10 suck-up points for this lemonade!" he changed his voice, pretending to be the lemonade. "Thank you, Stan!" and in a normal voice said, "Oh-ho! 10 more for politeness." he sipped again. "Oh, and so sweet!"

Dipper opened the door to the newly discovered room and walked in. "All these chores will be worth it when I get this room." she looked down at the carpet. "Shag carpeting? Don't mind if I do." she took off her shoes and began shuffling her feet on the carpet, unaware of the electricity building up.

"Hey sister." she turned to see Mabel smugly leaning on the door frame. "Don't get too comfortable. I just made Stan an omelette shaped like his own face." Dipper stood up, slowly circling her sister and building up more electricity. "Face it. I'm like a suck-up ninja. This room's as good as mine. You might as well give up now. What do you say?" Mabel held out her hand.

"I say I'm gonna win this room somehow, and when I do I'll finally have my own space..." she raised her hand, "...and we'll never have to share anything ever again!" and slappedMabel's hand away, electrocuting her, and causing a huge glow in between them that knocked them off their feet.

"Ugh... what happened?" asked Mabel, sitting up.

"Dipper?" asked Dipper. "Why are you wearing my clothes... and my... face?! Am I in your body?!"

"Am I in your body?!" 'Mabel' asked.

They screamed, as you do in that kind of situation. 'Dipper' ran into the attached bathroom to vomit while 'Mabel' ran to the mirror to confirm the terrible truth. "Oh, nononono." she shook her head. "Oh, f*ck. Ok, I can solve this." she muttered, not taking her eyes off of her reflection. No matter how identical they were it was unnerving to have their bodies switched. "All we need to do is find what made the switch and reverse its effects." she looked back at the room. Before the switch, they were circling each other on the...

"Son of a bitch, it's an electron carpet." she frowned. The carpet had built up a static charge so powerful it swapped their minds! But it was an easy fix, all they (or she) needed to do was build up another static charge. A quick glance to Mabel (it was unnerving to see her own body under someone else's control) showed her to be punching herself in the stomach; hopefully, there wouldn't be any bruising. Taking off her shoes, she quickly shuffled her feet. "Mabel, come over here!"

"What?"

Dipper booped her nose, another glow knocking them away.

"Ow," Mabel rubbed her head. "What the heck Dipp-?" her eyes widened at seeing her sister's body - not her own - sitting across from her. She patted her face and ran up to the mirror. "How?"

Dipper stood up and grabbed her shoes. "Now that that's over I need to get more points. See you later."

Mabel bit her lip. "Dipper wait!"

The brunette turned to her sister. "What?"

Mabelhesitatedbefore meeting her twin's eyes. "Why do you want this room?"

The question threw her off. "What do you mean 'why'?"

"I mean 'why'! Why do you want to move out of the attic? Is it because of my sleepovers? Are they the reason for all of this?"

Dipper blinked. Now that she thought about it, the sleepovers weren't the problem. "I-... No, not really."

"Then why?"

She looked away.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Okay."

"...What?"

"You can have the room."

Dipper watched as her sister walked past her. She grabbed her wrist. "Mabel-!"

Mabel jerked it free, not turning to meet her twin.

...She understood. Dipper watched her walk up the stairs, guilt and regret pooling in her gut.

"Hello, didn't expect to see you so soon." Noel greeted, standing up from his crouch.

"Is Liam here? He wasn't picking up the phone when I called."

"No, he's on a date with his girlfriend. He probably turned it off to have some privacy."

"Oh."

"Do you need him for something, because I can go fetch him if you want."

"No, it's just... I wanted to talk to someone."

"I cando that."

Dipper rubbed the back of her neck. "You don't really have to..."

"It's no problem; it's been a while since someone wanted my advice, or do you need to vent?"

"Both, I think?"

Noel nodded and led her to the back garden. There were new chairs and a table. "What's the matter?"

She sighed. "I got a new room."

"That's good?"

"I mean, yeah."

"You don't sound happy."

"No, not really."

"Why?"

"I guess... I guess it's because I'll be leaving at the end of summer."

Noel nodded. "Yes, Peter told me about that."

"You know Peter?"

He smiled. "We're good friends. He occasionally comes over to vent about his problems; be it romantic or otherwise."

"Then you know about my circ*mstances."

"It's hard not to when my son will also be leaving." she looked at him, but he was watching the flowers. "But I'm guessing that that is only part of the problem."

She nodded once. "Mabel asked me why I wanted the room."

A hum. "And what was your answer."

"...Nothing. I said nothing." she played with her fingers. "I could havetold the truth that I didn't want to move out of the attic but I froze. I thought that if we had separate rooms it would be easier for when I left... I made the wrong choice, didn't I?"

"You didn't make the wrong choice," he said slowly, choosing his words carefully. "Nor did you make the right choice. You just made a choice."

"But-"

"Maison," he looked at her, eyes shining. "If I were to cease being an author, you as my fan would be sad, right?" she nodded. "But for me, that would give me the chance to finally settle down for real and spend more time with my son. Since my books have a hint of supernatural and the placement of the actions are happening in different parts of the world, I tend to travel to give them a more realistic feel. For you, it may be a bad choice, but for me, it would be a good one. And say, I move back to Alaska with Liam; he would love to have the chance to form a stronger bond with his mother's side of the family, but I wouldn't like the move because living in Alaska is suffocating for me. Nothing against the place, it's just how I, specifically, feel. Do you see? All choices have a good and bad side, and we will always feel regret for not picking the other one."

She nodded, but that didn't lessen the regret she felt.

"Hey," Dipper looked up to see the writer giving her a small smile. "You're still living under the same room, not in another state. Plus, with the sleepovers she's always having I doubt that she would have a problem with you joining, or having one with just the two of you."

She smiled. "Thank you, Mr.Murik."

"No problem."

Chapter 17: Boy Crazy

Chapter Text

"'Do you have this T-shirt in my size?'; 'I have something even better! Behold: My butt!'" voiced over the security feed Wendle.

"What'chu doing Wendle?" asked Mabel.

"Amusing myself. What about you?"

"Waiting for my friends because it's the greatest day of my life!"

"Oh?" he turned to the brunette. "And why is that?"

"Sev'ral Timezis playing at theGravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet!" she shoved her calendar with the band's photo on it at the redhead.

"Sev'ral Timez? Aren't they that boy band that came a decade too late? You doknow all those boy bands are fake, right?They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry."

Mabel rolled her eyes. "You've been hanging out way too much with my sister."

The teen laughed. "Yeah, but I'm serious, there's probably a machine that mass-produces boy bands. Or! Or," he simpered. "maybe the boys are grown from pods." he laughed.

"You can't ruin this for me. Mabel's got back up!"

Grenda and Candy entered the gift shop cheering, both wearing some kind of Sev'ral Times merch. "Who's ready for the greatest night of our lives?" asked Mabel and sang a line from one of the band's songs. "How many times am I gonna love ya?"

"Sev'ral times!" the trio laughed, leaving through the 'EMPLOYEES ONLY' door. Candy crashed into the snack machine, said a quick 'I'm okay!', and left.

"Have fun." called out Wendle and turned his attention back to the security feed, seeing Robin enter the shop.

"Hey Wendle." she greeted. "So, Natalia and her boyfriend are going toLookout Pointthis weekend. Maybe we should go too?"

"Are you kidding me?" he glared."First you stand me up last night! And instead of apologizing, you want me to go to Lookout Point?!"

Robin's face fell.

"Look, Robin..." he sighed, turning away from her. "I'm not sure this relationship's working. Maybe I should see other people."

"W-Whoa h-hey! Before you do anything crazy, I- I uh... I want you to hear this." she pulled out a CD from a sinister looking case. "I hope this works..." she whispered to herself and turned to the teen. "I wrote this song just for you..." she pressed play and began to sing.

"When I think about you

I feel feelings so deep

I'm tossing and turning

And you know I'm losing sleep

And I know I'm going crazy

When I look into your eyes

Just listen to this song

And you'll be hypnotai-ai-ai-zed"

Wendle looked at Robin wide-eyed. He rubbed his eyes and said. "Y'know, maybe I was being a little hasty. I'll give you another chance."

"Yes, alright!" cheered the ravenette.

Wendle kissed Robin on the cheek and the two left the shop.

In the attic, Mabel and her friends were getting ready for the concert. The underside of Mabel's mattress reveled to be a makeshift shrine with posters, action figures and other merch of the boy band that consisted of five young adults with verysimilar physical features: blond hair, blue eyes, black eyebrows, muscular physiques, square chins, and light skin. Additionally, they all wore some sort of white top, lavender pants, and white shoes with gray soles.

"Should I go with lip balm or lip salve?" asked Mabel.

Grenda, who was putting on make-up, answered. "Go wild! Tonight's our night!"

"I can't wait guys. Tonight we're gonna meet Creggy G,Greggy C,Leggy P, Chubby Z and Deep Chris!"

"He's the fat one!" said Candy.

"And those boys will fall in love with us."

"Why wouldn't they?" Grenda, only usingher hand, stuffed her mouth with peanut butter.

Outside theGravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet the girls were standing around excitedly.

"Ok, girls have you all practiced your obsessed boy band scream?" asked Mabel. Her friends screamed and Old Man McGucket joined in. "...Just gonna ignore that."

They ran up to the box office. "Tickets please!"

"Too late, girls! The show's sold out." the ticket seller closed the shutters of the box office with a nasty smile. The girls gasped and looked around at all the 'Sold out' signs hanging all over the area. They shuffled off to the front of a large 'Sev'ral Timez' poster that was marked by a large 'Sold out' banner.

"This night is ruined." said dejectedly Grenda.

Candy collapsed face down on the ground. "I welcome you death."

Mabel looked at her friends sadly before standing up with determination. "No! I said we were going to meet Sev'ral Timez tonight, and I meant it! And I'm not going to let a 'Keep out' sign, keep us out!"

"But Mabel," Candy sat up. "What if we get caught? They will call our parents!"

"Then we make sure we don't get caught!"

The three girls had snuckin just asthe boy band's concert ended and were now looking for them.

"Hello! Sev'ral Timez?" called out Grenda. Candy in turn tried to lure them out with a promise of kisses.

"Look!" Mabel pointed at a closed dressing room door with 'Seve'ral Timez' written on the tapped on star. They ran up to it. "This is it, girls. You're finally going to meet the five cutest boys in the world! Wendle's gonna eat his words that boy bands are 'fake'."

She opened the door and they gasped at the sight of several cloning tubes of the band in several stages of their biological development, starting with their current age to a fetus. The girls turned and saw the band in a giant hamster cage.

"That is one big hamster tube." commented Mabel, then gasped. "Someone's coming!"

They quickly hid behind a rack of clothes just as someonewalked in. It was a short, fat, bald man. He wore a white long sleeved shirt, green pants, and gold suspenders.He had a visible gold tooth on the front set and carried a golden cane. "Terrible show!" he yelled. "What is wrong with you boys? You barely even sold out the arena! And Deep Chris, you call that a pout?"

The clone pouted, whimpering like a dog.

"Every one of you should be ashamed of yourselves! Except you, Leggy P. You were really on point tonight. Here ya go, gorgeous." he threwLeggy P. a giant hamster treat. He nibbled on it and hissed when Deep Chris reached for it. "As for the rest of you. Remember you can always be replaced by yourbrothers. Dance for me child! DANCE!" he indicated the tubes, and one of the clones inside danced at the man's cue. The man laughed and then choked. "Augh, my throat is killin' me. Can someone get me a lemon water?"

He slammed the door so hard when he left that it forced the girls out of their hiding.

"Who goes there? Prepare to be danced at!" Deep Chrisstarted to dance towards the edge of the cage where Mabel stared wide eyed from the floor. Creggy G. crouched in front of Deep Chris, blocking him from Mabel.

"Step off, Deep Chris. She's a lady. Don't disrespect her, bro. Don't disrespect."

"My bad." he tapped his chest with a closed fist, then made a piece sign and a kiss sound.

Mabel squealed.

"Chubby Z., let's calm this boo-bop, posing for her poster style." Deep Chris said. The made quickly got into positions as if they were on a photo shoot.

Mabel let out a small scream. "Trying not to let my brain explode. I've always wanted to meet you guys! But what was the deal with that scary chub-chub man?"

"Mr. Bratsman's our producer yo." Deep Chris said.

"He genetically engineered us to be the perfect boy band, G." Greggy G. added.

"But he keeps us in cages! That junk is straight brutal, girl!" Chubby Z. said.

"That is straight brutal, Chubby Z." agreed the brunette.

"Our one dream is to escape into thereal world. For real. Yo, I heard 'bout these things called 'trees'. I dunno what they are, but I wanna kiss one!"

"But we can't disobey Mr. Bratsman. He says he loves us."

"If he loved you, he'd set you free!" she said.

The band nodded in agreement. "True dat, true dat."

"That's a valid perspective!"

Mabel picked the lock. "Let's go right now. Me and my friends can help you escape!"

"We're masters of STEALTH!" loudly proclaimed Grenda.

"Yo, you'd really do that for us, beef?" asked Chubby Z.

"You can count on me!" Mabel paused."I'm sorry, did you just call me 'beef'?"

At thefront door Mabel, Grenda, and Candy were shoving a large sports bag into the Shack. Mabel groaned with the effort.

"What'chu got there?" asked Stan when he looked out the living room.

Thinking quick, Mabel answered. "Money! Money we stole!"

"We are criminals! We will cut you!" played along Candy.

"Let's go away from here now!"

The girls pulled and shoved the bag up the stairs andityelped at every other step. Stan watch them questioningly.

Once in the safety of the attic, the bag was unzipped and the boy band members fell out.

"Your tour bus is really strange, Mabel girl. Where the feedin' tubes at?" asked Leggy P.

The clones explored the room. Deep Chris patted Waddles on his head. "Yo, what up, girl?" the pig oinked.

The three friends giggled and shared secretive smiles.

"So, when do we get to go outside?" Greggy G. asked.

"I wanna cavort like a woodland creature!" Chubby Z. said.

A car screeched from outside. Mabel ran up to the window and gasped. "It's your producer!"

The band members panicked and jumped under Mabel's bed.

Outside, Bratsman exited his limo. "I can't believe those boys escaped from their cage." he grumbled and the called out to the handyman. "You there! I found this trail of frosted tips leading to thisvery location. Have you seen any perfect boys around here?"

"Only when I look in the mirror. Haha, up top!"Soos raised his hand for a high five, but Bratsman just stared at him. Eventually he high fived himself.

"They must be around here somewhere! I'll find those boys if I have to turn this town upside down!" he proclaimed. He heard a bleat and saw a goat chewing on his license plate. "Shoo! Shoo!" he entered his car, and glared at Soos suspiciously as he left.

"Good boy." the handyman praised the goat that bleated in return and continued to chew the license plate.

"Guys, it's not safe out there! Ergman's still looking for you!" Mabel told the clones, throwing them once again in panic.

"What do we do?"

"Aw dang!"

"I'm scared, Mabel!"

"Don't worry, guys. He has to give up eventually." an idea came to her. "Hey... in the meantime you guys can stay here with us!"

The band members cheered, high fiving and fist bumping each other.

Mabel turned to her friends. "Girls, do you realize what's happening here? We have our very own pet boy band that we can do whatever we want with!"

"But how are we gonna hide them from your grunkle and sister?" asked Grenda.

"Don't worry." Mabel waved her hand as though to dispel their concern. "Grunkle Stan isn't that observant and Dipper..." she didn't meet their eyes and her smile strained. "She's away for a few days and we don't share a room anymore. As long as they stay in the attic no one will notice."

Candy and Grenda looked at each other and nodded. "Okay, but remember, eventually we will have to let them go. We have to promise not to get too attached to them." Candy turned to look at the brunette, having taken her eyes off of her for a second. "Right, Mabel? Mabel?"

"All aboard the braid train! Braid braid!" they had neatly arranged themselves with Mabel in the front and Deep Chris at the back. Seeing her friends' worried faces she asked, "What?"

And so, it was agreed that the band would stay in the shack until their producer, Bratsman, stopped looking for them. During their stay they did a lot of activities, such as the band performing for the girls in the living room and hiding on the ceiling when Stan nearly catches them, teaching them to drink water normally, the girls racing on the band members in a long hallway. The boy band hugged Mabel, and when her friends tried to join in she said, "Just—oh— just a few more minutes."

"But-"

Mabel hissed at them. Grenda and Candy looked at each other in concern.

Mabel walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where her two friends were sitting at the table watching TV.

"How'd it go up there?" asked Grenda.

She sighed."Oh, I finally got them to sleep. Poor Greggy C. He tried to eat a tape dispenser." she sighed once again at the memories.

"The music industry was shaken today at the news that boy band king, Ergman Bratsman, has been arrested. He was pulled over tonight for not having a rear license plate."reported Shandra Jimenezand a clip of the producer's arrest was shown.

"I'm telling ya, the goat took it!"Bratsman yelled.

"That's what they all say."said the sheriff

"He is now in county jail, awaiting trial." said Shandra.

"Yes!" cheered Grenda.

"We have to tell the boys they are free now." said Candy. The two ran up the stairs leaving the brunette. Mabel laughed nervously before taking off after them. Just as the two were about to reached the attic Mabel blocked their way.

"Not so fast! They're not going anywhere." she said.

The two gasped. "What's the dealio, Mabel? That evil producer is gone. We have to tell the boys." said Grenda.

"Wait, girls. Let's not be so hasty. I mean, think about it. If we don't tell the boys, then they can stay here with me — I mean, with us." she corrected herself.

"Mabel, we can't keep them here forever." said Grenda.

"But I love them!"

"If you loved them, you'd set them free." said Candy.

"Never!" she cried out. "Every boy I've loved this summer has left me! And I'm not gonna let it happen again!"

"Candy, we gotta get past Mabel. She's gone boy crazy!"

Mabel huffed, her teeth bared. "BOYS!"

"Candy, attack!" Candy tackled the female Pines through the door, startling the boy band.

"You guys, Ergman Bratsman is in jail! You're free!" yelled Grenda.

"Just go!" Candy held down the brunette.

"Woah! Is that true, Mabel dog?" Creggy G. asked.

"Uhh, no! Your producer's still out there! You're gonna have to stay here, probably forever!" she lied.

"What! You can't listen to her!" said Grenda.

"Mabel's our girl, girl. She puts pizza in our food trough!" Deep Chris said.

"She changes my newspaper, yo. She's aight." added Chubby Z.

"She is not 'aigh', Chubby Z!" said Grenda.

Mabel pulled herself up, making Candy fall on her butt, and marched up to the band. "Sev'ral Timez!"

"Yes, Mabel dog?" they asked in unison.

"Remove these two from the premises, please."

Sev'ral Timez moved towards the two girls, snapping their fingers at them.

"Oh no, they're aggressively dancing at us!"

The band picked them up and carried them to the door.

"Mabel's gone mad with power. Save yourselves, Sev'ral Timez! You were better off with your producer!" yelled Grenda before she and Candy were thrown out.

The group turned and posed. "Word."

Grenda peeked her head back in to yell, "Call me Deep Chris!" and Leggy P. kicked the door closed.

"Twenty-thirteen!" Chubby Z. said.

Mabel sighed in relieve. "Thank you, boys. Now let's get aboard the braid train."

"Things just got pretty heavy, Mabel. Maybe we should just like, chill for a minute and-" tried to reason Deep Chris.

"I said, let's get aboard THE BRAID TRAIN!"

The clones looked at each other worriedly.

Mabel was relaxing with a glass of chocolate milk when Sev'ral Timez walked up to her.

"Mabel, you've got to hear this. It's a song we wrote to say 'thank you'." Creggy G. said.

"Hit it!" the group started to dance to the brunette's delight.

"Oh, boy! Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears!" she said.

"Here comes you

Mabel girl

We dreamed of being free, (so free)

But now we know

That that can never be

You know what friends are all about

You kicked those lying shorties out, (kick them out y'all)" Creggy G. held up a poster of Candy and Grenda and tore it apart.

"Starting to feel guilty here..." she said.

"Break it down!

Who's the girl who's so aight?" sang Creggy G.

"Tucks us into bed at night" sang Leggy P.

"Holds the fan up while we sing" Greggy C. sang, holding up a working fan.

"Keeps me entertained with string!" Chubby Z. sang.

"My shirt was wrinkled till (SHE PRESSED IT)

Chews our food ( SO WE CAN DIGEST IT)

He was evil, mean, and reckless (YOU GAVE ME THIS CANDY NECKLACE)"

Mabel's eyes watered as she realized what she had done.

"'Sup, girl

Other folks we could never trust

But we know

That you'd never lie to us

Mabel girl

We know you love us SoOoOo"

"And that's why I've got to let you go." she sang sadly.

The next morning Grenda and Candy stood in front of the main entrance of the shack.

"We've gotta save the boys."

"I'm prepared to defend myself."

The door opened to reveal Mabel. "Hi, guys. I'm sorry I went bonkers. A catchy song made me realize, that you were right. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course!" answered Grenda with no hesitation.

"Friendship, repaired." the three hugged.

"What's going on, Mabel girl?" asked Leggy P. when he and the others exited the shack.

"You said you had something you wanted to show us or some deal?" asked Chubby Z.

"Yup. This!" she gestured to the outside and rising sun. The band gasped.

"Yo, dog who is this big, round, bright, fool?" asked Chubby Z.

"That, Chubby Z., is the sun." the brunette answered.

"That fool is makin' my eyes hurt straight painful! I'm gonna stare that fool down!" he declared and proceeded to stare at the sun until his eyes watered.

"Yo, yo, hold up. What's this big green mess?" asked Deep Chris.

"That's nature, Deep Chris. Bratsman won't bother you anymore. You can do anything you wanna do, go anywhere you wanna go. You're free!"

"Fa-ree?" Chubby Z. tried the word.

"Free! You're free! It means you can skedaddle!" she sobbed. She picked up a stick and hit theirlegs. "Now go! Go!"

They hesitantly walked forward, looking back at the girls.

"Get out of here before I change my mind!" sobbed out Mabel before burying her face in Grenda's chest.

They walked toward the bushes and sang a final refrain before disappearing into them. "Goodbye girl."

"They won't last a week." said Candy after a moment.

Chapter 18: Vacation in Greece

Chapter Text

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Peter?"

"Dipper, please, how much sh*t could possibly happen in Gravity Falls in only three day? Don't answer that."

The duo were at a beach in Nea Peramos, Greece. The sun shone brightly in the sky, slowly warming the yellow sand and making the people on the beach sweat, and the music from the bar had recently been turned on. Peter cheerfully dropped the large yellow and purple beach straw bag on the chair and laid one of the towels on the sunbed. Dipper looked around, never before had she left America, and now that she was it was strange to not be able to understand what other people were saying.

"Want me to put sunscreen on your back?" Peter's voice brought her back. He was holding up a blue bottle with a 50 in orange.

"Yeah, sure." she looked around and saw both Henry and Rex laying in the water between the rocks.

"God, it will be a pain to get the sand out of their fur." she laughed.

At one point a young man in shorts and a fanny pack had come to take their orders. "Trust me, Dipper, you'll love the cherry juice." and she did. After Peter paid, he proposed that they go on a short walk to the end of the beach that was marked with a rock formation that people would climb. "There is even a very small beach in the middle."

Along the way, dodging little kids and sand castles, Peter suddenly ran ahead and hugged a dirty blonde haired woman. She screamed in delight and hugged back.

"Какво правиш тук?" he said.

"Ти какво правиш тук? Нали беше в Америка?" she responded. She was 5'5" but looked far shorter compared to Peter's 6'3". She had peach skin with tan lines on her shoulders from her swimsuit. While she wasn't chubby, and she wasn't exactly athletic either, with chub on her stomach and cellulite. Her left eye was a forest green and her right was a chestnut brown.

"Тук съм за три дни с Дипър. А ти?"

"За седмица. Кой е Дипер?" she looked at the girl and smiled. "Приятно ми е, аз съм Маги."

"Говорий на английски. Тя е от Америка."

"Hi," she said. "I'm Maggie, nice to meet you."

"Dipper." she said.

"Why didn't you tell me you were back? In Europe, I mean."

Peter shrugged. "It was a last minute decision."

"Разбира се."

"Dipper, this is my childhood friend, also lawyer."

"More like legal adviser for when you decide to visit." corrected Maggie.

"Meh, details. You wanna join us on a walk to the rocks?"

"Sure, let me just tell my parents."

"Try not to swallow any water."

"Peter, I'm not su-"

"Here comes another one!" Peter pushed the doughnut floatie with Dipper on top intoa wave, and then over another. "Woh! How was that?"

Dipper wiped off as much of the water as she could from her eyes, laughing all the while. "Ok, that was fun."

The once calm seanow had waves, not big ones. It was the older brunette's idea to use the floatie and 'surf'.

The water surface next to the duo broke and Maggie appeared, taking big gulps of air. "Look what I found!" she held up a small hermit crab.

"Nice!" Peter took the small animal. He looked up at his friend and smiled.

"Oh f*ck no. Don't you f*cking dare Hunters!" Maggie shrieked, making a grab for the crab.

He laughed and gave it back, keeping hold of the floatie as a rather big wave crashed into them. "Don't worry, I wasn't gonna do it.... This time."

The dirty blonde splashed water at him.

"Ok, who's hungry?"

"We are." Maggie moaned from her place on the sunbed that was supposed to be the male brunette's.

"Gyros?"

"Yyyyeeesss."

He laughed and took his wallet and a towel. "Ok, be back in 20."

"What's a 'gyro'?"

"Mmh? Oh, right. Well, I'm not sure how to explain it. It's greek dish and really, really good. You'll see."

Dipper rolled on her stomach. "You and Peter are close friends, right?"

"Well, yeah. We've been together since first grade and even if he moved away, we kept in touch. He visits Bulgaria about trice a year and we go out drinking. It's a surprise to see him. Oh," she sat up, suddenly more energetic. "Does he still have a crush on Liam?"

"Oh, yeah, he does. I think they've gotten a lot closer recently."

"That's good, it's finally time for that asshole to get himself a boyfriend."

It was nearly half an hour before Peter appeared carrying a bag. "Food's here!" he moved the blonde's legs away and opened the bag. "One gyro for my favorite sunshine, one for yours truly, and one plate and fork for Dipper."

Dipper opened to box to reveal shredded meat and fries. "This is a 'gyro'?"

"That's the meat and fries part of a gyro. We have gyro." he showed her the meat, fries, tomatoes and ketchup wrapped in a pita that he was eating. "Greatest invention in the world."

She took a bite of the cooked meat and agreed.

"This where we will be staying?"

They stood in the front garden of the three storey building with balconies. On one side of the garden there were kids toys while on the other there was a hammock and an outdoor fireplace. The two were separated by a tiled path that lead to the steps of the building. On the ground floor there were two other doors that lead to the rentable suits with a table and chairs outside each.

"Yup, on the ground floor. Best place." he lead her to the hammock (and now that she was closer could see the small pond hidden by the flowers) and unlocked the door. In the first room (painted a nice light green) there were two couches that could easily be transformed into beds with a table between them and a kitchen area (sink, hot plates, coffee machine, and many cupboards). The second room was the bedroom with a large bed in the middle of the room, a closet, two nightstands, a TV, and a mirror. The bathroom had what any bathroom had.

"You and the wolves get the bedroom and I get the living room." Peter said, dropping their luggage on the floor.

They had decided to dine at a restaurant. As they walked there, Dipper would not stop looking around. When they reached a large concrete bridge that marked the halfway point to the restaurant from their rented apartment, she asked, "Why didn't we just take the car?"

"Because after dinner we will be going on a walk with Maggie. Plus, they close off the road that leads to the main shopping district at 8pm."

The restaurant looked nice. The tables and chairs were painted white with waiters bustling around. They sat at one of the tables closer to one of the fans and upper floor.

"The upper floor is refereed to as indoors." he told her. They were given menus that were in greek and bulgarian.

"What should I get?" she asked, not understanding neither language.

"Most of the menu is seafood. I can order you skewers if you want."

She nodded. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

They ordered and spent the waiting time talking.

"Do you often come here? In Greece, I mean."

"Kind of? Three times in the summer for three days."

The Pete's food was brought first. "It's because skewers take longer to cook." he pushed the plate with calamari towards her. "Try it, you don't have to like it."

He was right, she didn't like it.

It was dark by the time they left .

"Are you sure we can go on a walk? It's dark."

"Not for long. Just wait."

When they reached the main shopping district, it was full of light. On one side of the road there were shops while on the other there were bars and arcades. At the first shop they met up with Maggie and proceeded to walk and look around. Dipper's eyes stopped on a nice leather shoulder bag that was perfect for the journal.

"You want that?" Peter asked, following her gaze.

"Yes, but I don't have any money."

"Don't worry, I have it covered. Think of it as an early birthday present."

"Can I get a birthday present?" asked Maggie.

He rolled his eyes fondly. "Of course, sweetheart."

At the end, they bought ice cream and said their goodbyes when they parted ways. The bag wasn't the only thing that the brunette had ended up buying for the girl. She now had a jewelry chest and a new necklace.

"How was today?" he asked.

"It was nice. It's good to get out of all of the craziness of Gravity Falls occasionally."

He laughed. "Tell me about it. Next time I'm going to Greece I'm take both you and Liam. And tomorrow we can go to Kavala."

"Sure!"

Chapter 19: Was it worth it?

Chapter Text

A car drove past a billboard withGideon'sface on it. Next to the billboard was Deputy DurlandandSheriff Blubs' squad car. The speed of the car diving bywas 99 miles per hour, however, the duowas oblivious.

"Focus, Deputy. Remember your training. Easy... easy..." the sheriff said, closely watching the deputy do a children's maze game. "You're almost there!"

Unfortunately, Durland somehow managed to skip the chest and connected the line to the shark that was next to the goal. "Dang it! I almost got the treasure!" he complained.

"The time we spend together is treasure enough." the sheriff said, his hand on the other man's shoulder. Suddenly, rumbling was felt. "Hey, you feel that?"

The duo screamed when huge claws tore through and ripped the roof off the car.

"Reckon' we should report that?"

"...Or go for a ride in our new convertible!"

They cheered and drove down the road.

In the morning, Stan was giving a tour on the mystery cart. "Ladies and gentlemen! Continuing our Mystery Tour you'll see the world famous Outhouse of Mystery!" the tourists 'ooh'ed at the sight of the outhouse that had signs such as 'Behold!' and 'Wow!' pointing at it. "I got stuck in there once!"

"Could I go to the bathroom?" a little boy asked.

"Save all questions until after the tour."

The boy sighed. The cart then drove over a bump, he looked down and sighed again.

Stan continued on."And up ahead if you look really closely, everybody get your cameras you're gonna wanna see this."

Back at the shack, Mabel and Waddles were looking out the window.

"Finally, Waddles, we have the whole house to ourselves! What do you think? Dance party?"

The pig oinked at his owner.

"I'm not hearing a no!"

Mabel flipped the sign from open to closed and turned on the radio. The two danced, ate popsicles off the floor, wore sunglasses and took pictures, ate books, and - once again - danced on the floor and desk. Mabel chanted 'yes', pumping her fists, before falling on the floor from exhaustion. Waddles licked her fingers. "Uh oh! Cuddle time!" he went to her and cuddled. "Waddles, can I tell you a secret?" she whispered, rubbing her cheek with his. "You're my favorite pig in the whole world." she laid down once again and fell asleep.

The bell on the door jingled when Stan walked in, counting his money. Since he was so focused on the currency he didn't see his grand-niece laying on the floor, and tripped over her. "Mabel? What are ya doing on the floor?"

"Being cute and great!" she squished her and Waddle's cheeks together.

He picked up his glasses. "And I thought yoursister was weird."

"No. She's more like:" she put on one of the pinetree hats and tried to mock her voice. "Aaah! Let's solve a mystery! I need to have Murik's new book or else I will cease to exist! I have wolves for pets."

Stan laughed. "That's pretty good."

Waddles walked up to Stan and stared to chew his pant leg.

"Go, go! Chew that pant leg!" Mabel encouraged.

"Ugh!" Stan lifted his leg, trying to shake off the pig. Waddles fell down, tearing a piece of the pants. "Alright!" the elder Pines opened the window. "Outside! Now!"

"No!" she cried out, grabbing the pig. "Grunkle Stan! It's not safe for Waddles outside! There's predators! And barbecuers!"

"That's just the natural order! It's not my fault your pig's potentially delicious!"

"He should be inside like a person."

"People don't roll around in their own filth." he then added as an afterthought. "Except for Soos. And even Dipper keeps her wolves outside!"

"That's even more reason for him not to be outside! They look at him as if he's a piece of tasty meat!" she walked away.

"That's because he is!"

Out in the forest, Dipper and Soos, along with the two wolves, were sitting on Soos' truck.

"Today's the day,Soos. Thanks for coming along on this mission."

"Dude it's an honor. Today I'm sweating from heat and excitement! Hoo!" he wiped off some of the sweat.

"There's something hiding in these woods." she opened a folder containing several newspaper clippings. "Something big enough to rip the roof off a car. If we get a photo of this thing we'll be heroes!"

"Yeah we'll get all the babes. Well, hunks in your case."

"Oh." she looked away. "I'm... I'm not actually sure about... that part." she felt the handyman's large hand on her shoulder and looked up.

Soos smile, his eyes shining in understanding. "It's okay."

She smiled back.

"No matter what gender,you'll be fending off smooches with a stick!"

They laughed before refocusing on the task. The two climbed three trees and tied a camera to each one.

"Got it." Soos slid down and sat next to the brunette on one of the branches. "Is sap supposed to be this sticky?" he tried wiping the substance on his shirt but got his hand stuck to it.

"If everything goes according to plan, the creature will grab that steak, cross through the string, and set off cameras A, B, and C."

"And nothing can go wrong. High five!" the moment their hands touched they were stuck. They tried pulling away but to no avail.

"This was poorly planned..."

Suddenly, aroarwas heard, a wind rushed through, and the cameras rapidly took pictures. Soos and Dipper looked at tree stump that was supposed to be occupied by the steak andsaw that it wasgone, the ropes broken. Dipper and Soos gave each other a huge smile.

Back in the shack, Mabel was making a sweater for Waddles with her face on it when an infomercial came on the TV.

"Hey you!"

Mabel turned. "Me?"

"Sick of constantly dropping your baby?"

A man holding a moving baby in one hand while trying to eat a slice of pizza appeared on screen. "Yes."

A middle-aged man with a long nose, receding hairline, and a scruffy, dark brown, almost black beard appeared. In an attempt to make use of what hair he still had, he had tied the back of it into a small pony-tail. He had very hairy forearms, left plainly visible by his bright yellow polo shirt, adorned with a name-tag labeled "BOBBY." A simple belt helped in constraining his gut, and kept up his dark blue-jeans. "Hi, I'm Bobby Renzobbi! And what you need is theHuggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle!"

"I can hold ten babies at once!" the man from before exclaimed, the proof of his words attached to his chest.

"I know what you're thinking: Does it work for pigs? Ah ha ha, yeah it does work for pigs, stupid! Feel your pig's heartbeat next to yours! IT WORKS FOR PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGS!!!"a giant pig nose appeared on screen and oinked loudly.

Mabel gasped and turned to her grunkle who was getting ready for work. "Grunkle Stan! I'm off to get a Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle!"

"Yeesh. Isn't knitting matching sweaters for that pig enough?"

"Nope. Anyway" she picked up the pig. "I need you to look after this little gentleman while I'm gone."

"Not now, kid, I got sometouristscoming through."

She lowered the pig. "Grunkle Stan, I know you're not crazy about Waddles."

"He's a fat, naked, jerk."

"But you do care about me. Promise me you won't let him outside." tilting her head, Mabel gave her grunkle the 'puppy eyes'.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, yeah, yeah, I promise."

"Thanks grunkle Stan!" she ran out the door.

Stan turned to the pig and pointed at him. "I'm watching you, pig."

Waddles raised his hoof and touched the man's finger, making him pull awayin disgust.

Dipper and Soos burst through the door, giddy by their success. "We did it! It tripped the wire! Somewhere in one of these cameras is a photo of that creature! I'll go develop the film."

"I'll go make us victory nachos. Dipper and Soos for life!" they fist bumped before separating.

"And here, ladies and gentlemen, is our final exhibit, the most hideous creatures known to man!" Stanunveiled a mirror, the tourists stared and laughed once they got the joke. "Right, right? We - we have fun here. But seriously, folks," he walked over to another exhibit. " THIS is something. I present to you, a unicorn made OUT of corn, The Corn-i-corn! I-I don't know, I'm tired."Stan unveiled the corn-i-corn.

The tourists gasped.

Then frowned as they saw the destroyed mesh of wires thatused to have corn glued to it.

"What the-!?"

"What a rip off! Kids, we're leaving." one of the tourists said, his children dropping their Mystery Shack merchandise and following the group.

"No! Noooo!" Stan turned to face the culprit of his ruined exhibit. "You!"

Having converted her room into a dark room, Dipper developed the photos.

"C'mon, c'mon! Hmm..." she lifted up the picture of what appeared to be a large reptilian wing. "That's a wing! If camera B got the wing, then the one that should have gotten the rest is... camera C!" she turned to where thephoto was being developed. Just as the image was appearing the door slammed open, blinding light surging in.

"Who wants victory nachos?" asked Soos.

"NO!" Dipper cried out at the faded image.

"Dude don't worry. I only ate like a third of them. Half of 'em." he laughed, not understanding what he had unintentionally done. "I ate all of them, dude!"

"Just ten minutes without this pig in the house." Stan said, tying Waddles to a peg in the back yard. "Is that so much to ask?" he hammered the peg securely in the ground. "There. Mabel asks, this never happened. 'Oh but grunkle Stan it's not safe out there! There's predators'." he mocked. "Oh brother..." as he was walking away, his back turned to the pig, a creature came out of nowhere in a gust of wind, and snatched Waddles. Stan turned around when Waddles screamed loudly.

"I can't believe you, man!"

"Sorry, dude. I was just so excited! Nachos cause excitement!"

The brunette sighed. "Soos, no offense, but you gotta be more careful sometimes. I mean, what are the odds we'll get another picture of-" a loud roar was heard.

The two rushed outside and found Stan and a trail from Waddles' red sweater.

"Dude, did you see that? That thing was a dinosaur, bro!" said the handyman.

"How is it possible that a dinosaur survived 65 million years?" she questioned.

"Did you see it, Mr. Pines?... Mr. Pines?"

"It - it took him."

"Took what?"

"The pig! It took Waddles!" his gaze never left the direction the dinosaur went until his niece's voice startled him.

"What did you say about Waddles?" the three looked at Mabel, not a word leaving their mouths. "Oh. Woah. Awkward silence. What's going on? Why are you standing around are awkwardly?... And where's Waddles?"

"Um - uh. The good news is, you're gettin' a puppy!" Stan said.

"What happened?"

"Well, see, uh, when the uh-" the elder was interrupted by Soos. "Your pig got eaten by a pterodactyl, bro!"

"What!?" she took off her helmet. "Waddles? Waddles! Oh no, how did this happen? Grunkle Stan, you didn't put him outside?..."

"What? No!" that would have been enough but he continued. "I didn't put him anywhere! I'm not acting suspicious! YOU'RE acting suspicious. What's a pig?"

"Then... what happened?" Dipper asked.

"Uh, look, it went down like this, see? So there I was, in the living room tenderly nursing him on only the richest of creams. When all of a sudden a pterodactyl burst through the door and took Waddles. So I said, 'No dice, cowboy!' and started punching him right in the face! But he played dirty." he let out some crocodile tears. "Why? Why couldn't you have taken me!?"

"Oh, grunkle Stan, you tried to save him!" Mabel hugged him.

"Uh, yeah! I'm a great man, alright."

"You punched the pterodactyl. In the face." Dipper raised a brow.

"Yes." Stan's eyes didn't meet hers.

Mabel took out a picture of her and the pig wearing sunglasses. "Oh, Waddles..."

"That's it. No pterodactyl is gonna messes with mysister. We're gonna go out there, catch him, and save your pig! For Mabel, guys!"

"For Mabel!"

"But how do we even find the little guy?" asked the elder Pines.

Mabel looked around and gasped. "We follow that!"pointed to the yarn trail from Waddles' sweater.

"Or, you know, we could just call it a day, maybe hit the pool haul, or-" Stan stopped at their looks. "Yeah! Let's go... save Woggles!"

"Waddles." Mabel corrected.

"Him too."

"All right! That p-terodactyl won't know what hit him!" Soos said after spray paintingthe words 'PTERODACTYL MOBILE' on the side ofhis pickup truck.

"It's pterodactyl." Dipper corrected.

"Actually, no one knows how to pronounce it because nobody was alive back in dinosaur days, so uh..." he laid down on the ground to attach a cage to the car and quickly sat up when the car started, moving forward a bit. "Whoa! Almost ran over my own head there!" he laughed for a moment before realizing what just happened.

Dipper chewed her lip, brows furrowed in worry. She looked at the tree line and was relieved to see her wolves waiting. She paused for a moment to examine the two canines. They were essentially the same as the first time she met them, except for the very light brown/blond fur that was slowly creeping up their legs. It mirrored the way how some locks of her hair were becoming a lighter colour.

She would need to speak with Peter about that.

For now, she pushed those thoughts away and concentrated on the rescue mission. She made a come hither motion at the wolves.

"Dipper, check out these matching shirts I made for us!" he gave her a shirt with her and Soos drawn on it."Who's this girl right here? You! Totally you, dude. And these rays indicate friendship."

She smiled and thanked him.

They all piled in the truck, the wolves in the back with the twins, and off they went.

They arrived at an abandoned church deep in the woods and went inside.

"Okay, thered yarn leads to..."

"Doodly doo do doo do!" an elder man sang, rocking back and forth in his rocking chair.

"Old Man McGucket!?"

"Howdy, friends!" he greeted.

"What are youdoing out here?" asked Dipper.

"You'll never believe me! Now I was doin' my hourly hootnanny- Deedly doo ding dang!" he showed them his dance.

"Ugh, this guy." Stan rolled his eyes.

"When this enormous wing-ly critter stole my musical spoons and flew lickety-split into the abandoned mines down yonder!" he pointed at the large hole on the floor.

"Looks kinda hairy down there." said Stan.

"C'mon, Grunkle Stan, you can handle it! You punched a pterodactyl in the face, remember?"

"Oh yeah! Heh heh, I did do that, didn't I. Heh... heh heh heh..."

"My, what suspicious laughter!" said McGucket.

"Guys, we're going in."

"Need someone to tag along and tell weird personal stories?" askedOld Man McGucket.

"No thanks."

As the bipedal beings were slowly lowering themselves down a rope, the digitigrades were jumping across the walls, a spell the brunette had cast helping them.

"So there I am, fighting a raccoon for the same piece of meat, when our mouths get close and we kiss accidentally!" McGucket rambled.

Stan sighed. "You can't take a hint, can you."

"Nope!"

The rope suddenly frayed through, then broke, spilling everyone to the ground below. The wolves' alarmed barks mixing in with the screams.

Dipper groaned.A giant mushroom had, thankfully, broken their fall. She stood up and, using an oil lamp, looked around. "Whoa." she examined a flower. "These plants look all Jurrasic-y."

"Huh! This little fella smells like battery acid!" the plant that Soos was looking at coughed acid in his face. "Aaaugh! Looks like I lost my sense of smell, ha ha!"

"Oh, Waddles. We're gonna find you." promised Mabel.

Henry and Rex soon joined them, rushing to Dipper and sniffing her thoroughly. "I'm fine. I'm fine." she muttered, running her fingers through their coats.

The group walked into a tunnel, where Dipper's lantern light fell on a petrified T-Rex and everyone screamed, then calmed down and gasped at all the dinosaurs.

"They're trapped inside the tree sap! That's how they survived for 65 million years!"her lantern fell ona sap pile with a pterodactyl-shaped hole."Whoa. The summer heat must be melting them loose!"

"Holy moley! Forget the cornicorn, this is the attraction of a lifetime! I could bring people down here and turn this into some sort of theme park! Jurassic... Sap Hole!" said Stan.

"Uh, dudes..." Soos pointed to a velociraptor that had worked one single claw out of the sap and was slowly working on a hand.

"...We should keep moving." stated Dipper.

"This could be a gold mine! Velvety-rope type deal there, ticket booth here, ha!" planed aloud Stan. "I should have put that pig outside ages ago!"

"Wait- what did you just say?" Stan turned to see Mabel.

"Hm? What's that?"

"You said the dinosaur flew intothe house." she gasped, connecting the pieces, then frowned.

"No! Wait, uh, if you think about it-"

"You put Waddles outside, then you lied to me about it!" her eyes watered. "And now thanks to you, my pig could be dead! WADDLES COULD BE DEAD!"

"Look, he's an animal. He belongs outside!" he tried to reason.

"No, that's it. Grunkle Stan, I am neverever speakingto you again!" she turned her back to him.

"Look, you can't be serious."

"Oh, is someone talking right now? Because I can't hear them!"

"Kid!"

She covered her ears. "LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear anyone! No one's talking to me!"

"Guys, guys, don't fight! Why can't you be more like me and Dipper? Look, everything's gonna be cool. All we gotta do to find the pig is follow this here yarn!" he wrapped the yarn into a ball. "Just keep following and following, until we reach the end! Oh- uh oh. " he realized he had just reached the end. He stared into the network of mine shafts. "Which- which cave was it again?"

Dipper inhaled deeply, then exhaled. "Your turn, boys."

The wolves lowered their snouts. Catching the smell of the pig, they lead the group through one of the shafts. They passed a doorway and stopped in front of a deep drop with a falling apartmining cart track that lead to a nest with a large egg in it.

"I don't see Waddles anywhere." Mabel said, then gasped. "You don't think he's down there, do you?" she looked over the edge at thedeep chasm filled with prehistoric plants.

Dipper looked at the wolves, who walked closer to the track. "He's probably in that nest there."

And she was correct, for Waddles chose that moment to appear and oink loudly.

"Waddles!" his owner cried out, running towards him. Unfortunately, her cry drew out the pterodactyl.

"Hide!" the brunette took cover behind some of the rocks.

"Kid! Get back here! Are you nuts!?" called out Stan.

"Oh, is someone speaking? Because I can't hear anything!" Mabel yelled back.

"Oh no! She's gone deaf with fear!" McGucket said.

"Daughter of a- wait, no, we have the same mother." she took off, the wolves hot on her heels, and called over her shoulder. "You guys stay back! Get ready to leave!"

"Waddles!"Mabel exclaimed, hugging the pig. "Oh, my Waddles! I'll never lose you again!"

"Uh... Mabel?" Dipper's voice trembled as she noticed the human bones that littered the nest.

Mabel ignored her sister, too busy cuddling Waddles. "Shh. You're safe now." she took out theHuggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle and put him in it.

"Great, we got the pig- now we gotta get out of here!" the brunette hissed.

A huge shadow passed overhead. Waddles squealed in terror, running away. The wolves snapping their jaws at the pig pushed him to run faster.

"Waddles, wait!"

Waddles ran into Stan who had decided to follow his nieces. He held up the distressed animal. "Get off me, you dumb pig!"

The pterodactyl swooped down on Stan and Waddles, screeching.

"Look out!" cried out Dipper.

Everyone screamed as the giant reptile knocked Stan off the mining track and down intothe deep chasm filled with prehistoric plants.

Stan screamed as he fell, the ground growing nearer and nearer, then bounced off a giant mushroom and landed on the muddy floor. He sat up, rubbing his head, and looked at the pig thatwas rolling in the mud. "Yeah, you would enjoy this." he once again screamed as the pterodactyl swooped down and took his fez.

The dinosaur dropped the hat in front of the twins and wolves who were crouched in the nest.

Mabel gasped, picking up the fez. "We gotta save them!"

Dipper looked around. She couldn't ask McGucket for an invention as he and Soos were still hiding behind some rocks near their only known exit. She could use her magic but: A) she didn't know any spells that could possibly help in their situation/or she still wasn't well versed in the ones that could, and B) she didn't want the others - especially Mabel - to know that she was capable of using magic. The only choice was for her to lead the others away and then return to get her grunkle, but that arose another problem: How would she be able to convince the others to get to safety? Soos was loyal to a fault, McGucket, the coot, was a wild card, and Mabel..

The whole reason they were in this mess was technically Stan's fault for letting Waddles outside, but how was he to know that there were f*cking dinosaurs still around. She could understand his reasoning for wanting the pig outside of the shack; Waddles had already destroyed two of her favorite books, made a mess, tracked mud in, and would occasionally destroy Stan's exhibits.

But he was Mabel's pet. She cared too much for him, and no matter how mad she was at Stan, she still loved him. There was no way Mabel would leave without them. She was too stubborn.

And even if by some chance she did manage to lead them away, two questions appeared:Would Stan survive long enough for her to get the others out and return? And were there other dinosaurs out of the sap?

The flying reptile didn't appear to have a problem with being on the ground as that was how it passed the doorway. As long as the elder Pines hid and wasn't in the open, he would go unnoticed.

Her brows furrowed at the second question. They had seen that one of the dinosaurs was already on their way to breaking out of the sap, but were there ones that were out?

Mabel's gasp drew her back to reality. She looked up, and her stomach dropped. The egg had cracks. It fell on its side and a baby pterodactyl broke free, making a squeaking peeping noise. Her twin cooed at the creature, while the wolves in turn growled at it. When it tried to snap it's beak at Mabel, the canines lunged at the baby's unprotected neck. She quickly covered Mabel's eyes from the sight. The wolves tore its throat open, blood oozing from the wound as the creature wheezed before falling. The baby laid there, blood seeping into the floor of the nest as her wolves tore into its flesh, eating as much as they would be ably to. Saliva pooled in her mouth, the same way it did whenever she traveled in a car over long distances as though to warn her that there was a chance of her vomiting.

Shakily, she stood up, her legs feeling like lead, and dragged her sister out of the nest.

"Dipper, I can't see!" she ignored her twin's complain, her hold tightening when Mabel tried to dislodge the hand that was covering her eyes. "Dipper, we're going to fall!" they wouldn't, she would make sure that they wouldn't.

While that was happening Stan and Waddles are hiding under a massive mushroom. Stan looked up as the pterodactyl flew over them. "The dumb thing must be hungry. I guess it's you or me, pig." he shoved Waddles out from under the mushroom.

Waddles looked back at Stan cutely.

"What are you looking at?" the pig blinked. "Aw come on, don't give me that look! What am I supposed to do, let it eat me?"

The animal stared at him in its cute dumb way.

"Argh!" he stood up, angry at the animal. "Oh, I get it. You're trying to guilt me. Well it ain't working, pal. Who cares if you're Mabel's favorite thing in the world? I can live without the kid talking to me all the time!... Telling me her jokes... makin' me laugh..." he looked back at it.

The pig snorted and co*cked its head.

Stan laughed, then noticed the pterodactyl swooping down towards them. "Aw! Dang it!" he put Waddles in the Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle. "Well, this is just about the dumbest thing I've ever done." he turned to the nearing danger and yelled. "YOU WANT THIS PIG?! THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME, YOU FLYING DEVIL! COME AND GET ME!" he leaped at it.

Only when they reached the rocks did Dipper release her twin.

"Dude, what happened?" asked Soos, noticing her pale face.

"Nothing." her voice didn't shake, nor did it betray any emotions. "Let's get out of here."

"But Mr.Pines-!"

"We'll return with rope, or find a passage that leads down there. As long as he isn't in the open he'll be fine." she didn't meet anyone's eyes.

A roar drew their attention. They looked up to see the pterodactyl flying around. On it's neck a figure.

"Is that...?"

"Stan?"

It was indeed Stan. He was holding onto it and punching it, the reptile crying out at the assault.

"Waddles!" Mabel cried out, noticing the pig that was attached to her grunkle.

"He's punching her in the face." Dipper watched, slack-jawed, the impossible thing that was happening in front of her eyes.

"From heck's heart I stabeth thee!" Stan used both fists to hit the dinosaur on the head, making it hit the side of the cliff and fall. Stan quickly grabbed the edge and pulled himself up.

McGucket, Soos and Mabel cheered, surrounding the man. Dipper stood back, heart beating a mile a minute. She looked at the nest and saw the wolves walking towards her, maws painted red and wet. They stopped in front of her, eyes meeting hers, as though waiting to see what her reaction would be to their actions.

"LOOK OUT!" Dipper turned to see that the reptile wasn't done with them, and was climbing up.They all ran. The pterodactyl snapped ather, ripping her vest. Back at the entrance, theywere reminded of the short rope.

"We're trapped!" Stan said.

Dipper looked around and saw one of the geysers pushing a rock up. She got an idea. "Quick! The geyser could shoot us back up!" they all got into the geyser but it wouldn't pump. "C'mon..." her eyes prickled with tears as sounds of the fast approaching dinosaur reached them. "Go, go!"

"Bros before dinos!" Soos hit the geyser hard. The geyser pumped them up, through the roof of the church, before landing into the building all wet, the hole covered by the collapsed parts of the church.

"I can't believe you did all that for Waddles!" Mabel told her grunkle as they left the destroyed building.

"Ah, well. I can't have my favorite niece not talking to me." he leaned on a tree with sap on it. "And if I gotta leap onto a pterodactyl and punch him in the face, then that's what I gotta do."

"That's kinda sappy."

"W-what? That's how I feel!"

"No, I mean.." she pointed at his hand.

"Oh, yeah." he touched her face with the sap. "Gotcha! Ha ha ha ha." they quickly realized how sticky the sap was.

Maison entered her room and sat on the bed, across from her was a tall mirror that showed her reflection. She grabbed her pillow, looked at it for a moment, then shoved her face in it and let go.She cried, the day's actions catching up to her as sobs wracked her body. That was her most dangerous adventure yet. There so many things that could have gone wrong, so many instances that one of them could have died. And all for what? So that they could save Waddles.

Was is really worth saving that pig?a traitorous voice whispered in her ear.

She looked up to see her reflection. She was a mess. Her hair was everywhere, she was sweaty from all of the running, her eyes were red, puffy and wet. Another time she would have saidYes, it was worth it. Her twin was happy, after all.

But now?

Now, it was-

"No, it wasn't worth it." she watched her eyes flash yellow before returning to their normal brown as a lock of hair turned blonde.

Chapter 20: I am the Yellow Wolf

Chapter Text

It was a rainy evening and Dipper was visiting her sister for a game of 'Conflict Boat'. Mabel was happy at the chance to spend some quality time with her twin, even if her motions were stiff and her eyes never met hers.

"B5." Dipper said.

"Miss!" she put a peg on the board which were arranged to look like the head of a cat.

"I don't think you're playing this right." her twin stated.

"Kids! Come quick!" their grunkle yelled from downstairs.

The two found Stan in the living room watching TV. "I need you to laugh at this with me!" he laughed as acommercial for theTent of Telepathycame on.

Gideon was singing and playing a white and gold guitaron a blue sky with white clouds background."Who's cute as a button, and always your friend? Lil' G-I-D to the E-O-N! Wink!"

"Li'l Gideon!"voiced over the fake psychic's father.

"Ugh, Gideon." Dipper rolled her eyes at the boy's cutefaçade.

"Remember whenI wouldn't date him and he tried to destroy us?"

"He's always trying to trick me into losing the Mystery Shack."

"One time I caught him stealing my moisturizer." added Wendle, leaning on the armchair.

"And yet, our mutual hatred for him bonds us together." said Soos.

Gideon laughed. "Come on down to Li'l Gideon's Tent of Telepathy, opening soon at this location."voiced over Bud Gleeful. A clip of the Tent of Telepathy crushing the Mystery Shack was shown.

"Should we be worried about that?" asked Dipper.

"Please, the only way Gideon's taking over this shack is by breaking in and stealing mydeed." assured her her grunkle. The affect was lost when a crash was heard coming from the man's office.

"You mean, like, right now?" asked the redhead.

"38? 41? Oh, heavens to Betsy!" Gideon grumbled, trying, and failing, to input the correct code to Stan's safe.

"Gideon!" said man yelled.

The boy smiled smugly. "Well, well, Stanford, my arch-nemesis. We seem to have entered a dangerous game of cat and mouse. But the question remains, who is the cat, and who is the-"

"Soos, broom." the handyman dutifully handed his boss the object.

"Oh no, not the broom!" he ran as the elder Pines chased him. At one point he hissed back only to be hit with it and chased outside. "You mark my words, Stanford, one day I'm gonna get that combination. And once I steal that deed, you'll never see the Mystery Shack again!" he vowed.

"Good luck, bucko!" yelled back Stan, closing the door.

Stan placed the deed in safe and pressed the lock button. "The combo to this safe is in the one place he'll never find it: my brain." he walked away, not noticing the young Gleeful watching from the window.

"Your brain isn't as safe as you might think, Stanford Pines!" he pulled out Journal 2 and opened it in the pouring rain like a total idiot. "This is the last straw! It's time to unlock the journal's greatest secret..."

Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Wendle are watching television. Dipper and Wendlewere half-heartedly shooting each other withNyarfbrand dart guns.

"He put the 'old' in 'old west,' they call himGrandpa the Kid!"the TV announcer said.

An old man appeared on screen. "I'm tired during the day."

"I can relate to this." said Stan.

"Grunkle Stan, why can't we watch a movie that we'll all enjoy?Dream Boy High! 'Where love is on your permanent record.'" Mabel held up a VHStape with twobrightly colored and radical young men on the cover. The others boo'ed her choice. "You'll learn to like it." she said.

A crash was heard from the kitchen and Soos ran into the room. "Aaah! Dudes, there's a bat in the kitchen! It tried to touch me with its weird little bat fingers!"

"Don't worry, I got this under control." Stan leaned back in his armchair. "Dipper, take care of it."

Mabel laughed. "Yes!"

"What? Why can't Mabel do it?"

"'Cause life ain't fair. Now go fight a bat so we can watch TV." responded her grunkle.

"No way, grunkle Stan!" she stood in front of the TV, blocking the view. "You always make me do dumb chores. I'm putting my foot down this time!" she stomped her foot.

"I said do it kid. Now!"

The two hada stare off, growling at each other. At one point Stan jerked forward as to scare her, but his niece surprised him. She didn't submit as he had expected, instead she glared harder, irisesflashing yellow. He jerked back, losing the stare off.

"Uh, fine, I'll do it." he left the room, brows furrowed in concern.

Pleased, Dipper claimed the armchair as banging from the kitchen was heard. Moments later an electric shock ran through her body. She sat up, dread pooling in her stomach.

"Something the matter, Dipper?" Mabel asked, not taking her eyes off the movie.

"No." she lied. "I'll be back in a minute."

Her sister made a sound in her throat.

Maison ran out the door and into the forest.

She hid behind some bushes when she saw Gideon chanting in front of a summoning circle made out of lit candles and a picture of her grunkle with a red 'X' over his eyes in the middle. "- foris dominus mentium. Vene foris videntis omnium!"he suddenly fell on his knees, clutching his stomach before arching, eyes white and glowing blue. "Egassem sdrawkcab. egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!"

Maison sharply inhaled when everything turned black and white, wildlife pausing in midair. In a flash of light a triangle that looked like it to lead into space appeared. Flames lit on its edges as a single eye was opened in the center. It laughed a horrible laugh. The flames extinguished, the triangle now looking more like a 2D yellow pyramid with thin, black limbs, wearing a small, black bow tie and a tall, thin, black top hat that floated just above its head.

"Oh, oh,Gravity Falls!" it said in a grainy voice, looking around before turning its attention to the summoner. "It is good to be back. Name's Bill Cipher, and I take it you're some kind of living ventriloquist dummy?" he laughed at his own joke, and she held back a snort. "I'm just kidding, I know who you are, Gideon!"

"W-what are you? H-how do you know my name?" Gideon looked shaken.

"Oh, I know lots of things!" his body showed pictures of various cryptic locations, andin a slow, deep voice said"LOTS OF THINGS..."before returning to normal. "Hey, look what I can do!" he gestured toward a deer, its teeth then flew into his hand and gave them to Gideon, laughing. "Deer teeth! For you, kid!"

"You're insane!" said the boy, dropping the teeth.

"Sure I am,what's your point?" he returned the teeth and the deer ran away. Despite the bad vibe she was getting from him, she had to admit that that was a good comeback.

"Listen to me, demon!" the whitenette stomped his foot, having had enough. "I have a job for you. I need you to enter the mind of Stanford Pines and steal the code to his safe."

Maison nearly gasped.

"Wait... Stan Pines?" he turned his back to them for a moment. "You know what, kid? You've convinced me! I'm sold! I'll help you with this and in return you can help me with something I've been working on! We'll work out the details later."

The brunette rolled her eyes. Who would fall for th-

"Deal!"

Her attention snapped back to the pair. Cipher's hand had ignited in blue flames and they shook hands. She frowned. Was Gideonthatdesperate for the deed as to make a deal without knowing all of the details? Especially when it concerned what he had to do in return?

"Well, time to invade Stan's mind! This should be fun! Remember: reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!" the demon disappeared in a flash of light.

Maison's eyes snapped open, as though it were all a dream, but Gideon's maniacal laughter proved otherwise. She turned and ran, calling out the wolves' names. She didn't have time to get Peter nor Liam; not when her grunkle's mind was in danger.

It was late in the evening when she returned. Stan had once again fallen asleep in his chair in the living room. Taking out the journal she quickly flipped through its pages until she found her desired one. "Beware Bill, blah blah, dangerous creature, blah blah, never let him enter your mind, blah blah..." her grunkle's random movements and glowing eyes drew her attention. She grimaced, returning to the book. "Come on, come on... Incantation!" she put her hand on his head, the wolves mirroring her with slight difficulty.

"Videntus omnium. Magister mentium. Magnesium ad hominem. Magnum opus. Habeas corpus! Inceptus Nolanus overratus! Magister mentium! Magister mentium! MAGISTER MENTIUM!"as she chanted her, along with the wolves', eyes glowed yellow.

There was a flash of yellow light and they were in Stan's mind.

Maison looked around in awe. Peter had warned her that there would be a time when she would enter someone's mind but she didn't think it would happen so soon. The plan was for her to enter the older brunette's mind in August and practice her abilities there, 'a controlled environment' he had called it. But now? Now all bets were off.

Stan's mind was in black and white (were all minds like this?)and it looked like a thick mist hung around. They were in front of the Mystery Shack, or a falling apart version of it, its name coded in Caesar cipher.

"Remember," she turned to her pets. "we've got to look out for Bill Cipher."

It didn'tturn out to be necessary for he appeared. "Yeah, look out for Bill Cipher."

Henry and Rex growled, yet he didn't bat an eye, too focused on the brunette. "Stan's family, we meet at last! Pine Tree, I had a hunch I might bump into you!" he shot a laser through his finger, aimingfor her chest only for Henry to take the hit.

She screamed then calmed down when she saw that he was alright, even if there was a hole through his side. Furious, she turned to the demon. "Get the f*ck out of my grunkle's mind, you son of a bitch!"

"My, what a dirty mouth you have! Let's clean it, shall we?" he snapped his fingers. Maison felt her mouth fill with a bitter tasting liquid that she spat out, nearly vomiting. "Ain't that better?" he asked.

She glared fiercely, the effect somewhat hindered by the drool that ran down her chin. "What do you want withmy uncle's mind anyway?"

"Oh, just the code to the old man's safe! Inside the shack is a maze of a thousand doors representing your uncle's memories. Behind one of them is a memory of him inputting the code! I just need to find it and Gideon will pay me handsomely."

"Yes, I saw your deal. I find it quite idiotic of him to make one without seeing what you want in return, but it's his problem, not mine." she sneered. "I'll say it again: get the f*ck out of my uncle's mind before I make you."

He laughed. "I like you, kid, you have a lot of spunk in you. I'd like to see you try. I'm the master of the mind." blue flame encircled him."I even know what you're thinking right now!"

"Bullsh*t." she said with more confidence than she felt. As far as she knew, he probably did. So, she though of Peter and Liam, and they appeared when the triangle snapped his fingers.

"What the hell?"

"Dipper!"

"You're out of your league, kid. Turn around now before you see something you might regret. Later, suckers!" he crashed through the shack's wall.

"Maison!" Peter kneeled in front of her. "Are you ok? What the hell is Cipher doing here? And why are you here?"

"I'm fine." she assured him. "Long story short: Bill made a deal with Gideon for the code of Stan's safe where he keeps his deed."

"'Finders Keepers' law." Liam nodded. "But that still doesn't explain why you are here. You should have called for us."

"I know, but I can't let him take it."

Peter sighed. "It doesn't matter the 'whys' and 'shoulds' of this situation; what matters is that we stop that annoying isosceles creep from finding what he wants." he faced the shack. "Maison, be sure to stick by our side, this is unmarked territory for you." at her nod they went inside.

The inside was like "The house of stairs" painting with several different sections that represented Stan neatly marked. Three of them were Memories, Fears, and Hopes. They stopped in front of the doorway leading to the man's memories.

"Di - Maison," Liam put his hands on her shoulders. "You might see and hear things that you will regret in here. What I want you to know is that appearances are deceiving, and to see past them will require the expenditure of a lot more power than any other work a person has to perform."

"Okay?"

He straightened and they continued. They searched through the doors. Maison opened one, revealing her grunkle in acolombian prison.

"Jorge,Rico, you're the two best Colombian prison friends a fellah could make."her grunkle told them.

"Espero que muera."

"Sí."

"Nope." she closed it and continued on.

Liam opened a door to a memory of Stan working as a door-to-door salesman.

"Sir, would you like to buy aStan-Vacvacuum? Stan-Vac: It sucks more than anything."the man closed the door. "Gotta work on that."

"Wrong one."

Peter opened one and immediately closed it after seeing what was inside. "Ok, I can scratch 'Seeing a fifty-something years old man hooking up with another fifty-something years old man' off my bucket list."

Maison stopped in front of a door labeled 'Memories about Dipper'. "Look, guys! Memories about me!"

"Maison wait." she turned to the older brunette. "Are you sure you want to see what's behind that door. Think carefully."

She paused. A second ago she wanted to see what he thought of her, but now... she wasn't so sure. Stan had been hard on her during the whole summer, always making her do the more painful or difficult chore, and after the whole Robin business he had become more withdrawn and kept a close eye on her. Now was her chance to see his reasons behind his behavior. Steeling herself, she opened the door and went inside, the others not following.

"Remember what I said." Liam told her before the door closed.

Maison walked by numerous doors, Stan's voice ordering her echoing. Picking one at random it revealed to be a memory of her being made to chop wood.

"No buts! Now go and chop that firewood already!"he lightly hit her with his newspaper. Annoyed, past her went to do the task.

"Dude, Stan, I've been meaning ask you. Why are you so hard on Dipper all the time?" asked Soos when Stan sat down on the outside couch.

"Look, Soos, I'm gonna let you in on something. Wanna know what I really think?"he covered his mouth to whisper and Maison leaned in. "The kid's a loser. She's weak! She's an utter embarrassment! I just wanna get rid of her."

Maison looked away. So that's what her family thought of her. Tears prickled her eyes. She was just about to close the door when Stan continued.

"Heh, yeah. Those are all things people said about me when I was a boy."

"Huh?" she looked back.

"It was terrible. I was the biggest wimp on the playground!"

A door opened behind her. It was a memory of her grunkle at her age being bullied by other children on the playground and running away in tears.

"So one summer, mypopsigns up me for boxing lessons. It was even worse than the school yard!"

Another memory. This one was of Stan being beaten by his opponent in a boxing ring before he started fighting back, his father nodding in approval.

"Y'know, that time I thought my pop was trying to torture me. But wouldn't you know it? The old man was doin' me a favor all along!"

A memory of a theater. A sleazy man tried to steal a woman's purse only to be left hooked by Stan. Everyone cheered and he even got a kiss on the cheek as a 'thank you' by the lady.

"You see it? That why I'm hard on Dipper. To toughen her up. So when the world fights, she fights back."he then added. "And I know that the world will fight her the moment summer ends. Even if it means that she will hate me for this, I want her to hold her head high and say: 'Come at me, I'm ready!'."

"Do you think it's actually working?" asked Soos. Stan pointed at her. With a swing the wood was cut in half, Dipper grinning at her success.

"She's really comin' along! When push comes to shove, I'm actually proud of her. Just... don't ever tell her that. Her head is big enough as it is."he said.

Soos laughed. "That's true."

Maison smiled and put her hand on the memory. Then she accidentally got sucked into it, facing Stan.

"Whoa, kid, what are you doin' here? Peter never said that you would be practicing your powers inmy mind."

"I-" she spluttered, her eyes widening. "Grunkle Stan you know!?"

"Of course I do. I'm in the same boat with Noel after all."

She blinked. "Then... is that why you're always hard on me?"

He sighed. "Kid - Maison. I've always known that there would be a chance that you would be the Yellow Wolf. Iwas in denial for the first month until I saw your flames when you hit Robin."

"You saw that?!"

"Yeah, and I know about the fire that you caused that day, and everything since them. Peter has been reporting to me about your progress. And... I know that you won't be leaving with Mabel at the end of summer."

They fell in silent, but that was soon broken by the sound of fighting.

"Bill! I completely forgot about him."

"Well, you better go take care of him."

"But how?He's an all powerful dream demon while I'm... me." she said dejectedly.

"And that's why you're powerful." she looked up. "This is the Mindscape, kid, yourterritory. You can do what ever you imagine in here!"he created a Pitt Cola and drank from it. "You've faced numerous creatures outside of the mind during this summer vacation, don't tell me you're incapable of dealing with that asshole."

"Well, when you put it like that..."

Stan lightly punched her shoulder. "Stand up to him, look him in the eyes, and tell him: 'I'm the Yellow Wolf, bitch, and you just stepped into my den.'. Give him hell."

She nodded and turned to leave before stopping and turning back. "Can I..?" she gestured towards the axe.

"Be my guest."

Maison followed the sound of fighting, axe gripped tightly in her hands. Stan was right, this washerterritory, and she can control (and be) whatever she wanted.

So, she did.

Her body grew until it was a copy of Glaucia Wolf, her hair became blonde and eyes yellow, her clothes changed into a gold and silver armor with a shield attached to her back. She concentrated and creatures like the one she encountered on the road in Wolf's Denslunk out of the shadows.

She was going to give Bill Cipher hell.

"You think you can defeat me in my own realm? You're bigger idiots than I thought!" Bill's laughter grated on Peter's nerves. Oh, how he wanted to just deck the triangle, but he couldn't. This was Maison's battle, not his. Even if the girl was taking her sweet time, for now he could only protect the dhampir and occasionally strike back.

"And now to finish you all once in for all!"

Peter closed his eyes, waiting for the laser. Only for it to not hit.

"What!?" hissed the currently red gianttriangle.

"Miss me, bitch?" Maison's voice made him open his eyes. He stared at her back, mouth agape. She looked back at him with a piercing yellow eye. "Sorry I'm late. I had a talk with grunkle Stan."

He swallowed, a grin soon making itself know. "Hope it was worth us having our asses handed to us during that time."

"It was." she turned her attention to the demon, pointing at him with the reinforced axe. "Get ready to lose, you donkey maggot. This is my world and don't plan on sharing it with anyone."

"And who are you?" he squinted at her.

Maison bared her teeth in a parody of a smile. "I am Maison Wolf, the YellowWolf, and you just stepped into my territory." she charged, wolves flanking her, creatures following from all directions.

The battle strategy was simple. Maison's army disorientated, Liam supported, and the brunette and blonde attacked. Whenever Bill tried to shoot lasers, Liam would simply create a shield around the target, and chains would occasionally burstfromthe ground, wrapping themselves around the demon. Using the axe, Maison was able to get a few good hits on him, and Peter, using a whip that she had no idea where he got, made him scream in pain and anger.

"THIS ENDS NOW!" she leaped, axe poised for a strike when-

"ENOUGH!" a shockwave hit them and everything turned white. He took of his top hat, returning to his normal yellow colour. "You know, I've been impressed with you guys. You arestronger than you look. Especially the blonde one." he pointed at Maison who glared. "So I'm gonna let you off the hook. You might come in handy later. BUT KNOW THIS: A darkness approaches." a six fingered hand appeared over him before disappearing. "Adaywill come in the future when everything you care about will change! Until then I'll be watching you! I'LL BE WATCHING YOU..." he was briefly encircled ina zodiac before disappearing.

"Is he gone?" she looked at Peter.

"From Stan's mind? Currently yes. Forever? No." he looked down at his fading hands. "Looks like our time is up."

Maison opened her eyes, then sat up, the wolves laying on the living room carpet with her.

"Kid?" her grunkle's voice drew her attention. "What are you doing here? And why was I dreaming of Peter and his boyfriend fighting a dorito chip."

She exhaled and lunged at him. "You're okay!"

"What is this, a hug?"

"Yes." she pulled back, brown eyes meeting. "Grunkle Stan, I know."

"You know what?"

"I know that you know." she flashed her eyes. He sharply inhaled. "And we will need to have a talk. But not now. Entering people's minds is too exhausting."

"Wha - Is that what you did?! Why?"

"Long story short: Gideon made a deal with a demon who entered your mind to steal the safe's code so that he would get the deed. But we stopped him!... I think."

Stan groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Let's hope you did." they were thrown off the armchair by an explosion.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Pines family. Did I wake you?" a familiar voice asked in mock worry.

Maison looked up in disbelieve at the hole that united the living room with Stan's office, the safe's destroyed door barely hanging on its hinges. "No..."

"Oh, yes. The Mystery Shack belongs to me! So get out of my property!"Gideon pulled out a handheldtransceiver. "Daddy? Bring it around the front."

"But we defeated Bill." she whispered in a hollow tone as a crane came into view.

Chapter 21: The start of something great

Chapter Text

When Peter opened his door that morning he did not expect to see theentire Pines family with their suitcases and glum expressions.

"Hey," greeted Maison. "Can we crash here for a bit?"

"Whathappened?" he opened his door wider, allowing them inside.

"Gideon stole the deed."

"What? But we.." he cleared his throat, eyeing Mabel.

"Well, he used dynamite as a plan B, and because of the stupid 'Finders Keepers' law we are without a home."

"Well, f*ck." he closed his eyes tightly, it was honest to God too early for this type of sh*t. "Stay as long as you want."

Peter, Stan and Maison were in the living roomwatching the news while Mabel was out with her friends.

"In a movement that has all of Gravity Falls buzzing, child psychic Gideon Gleeful" the TV reporter droned, showing a picture of the boy surrounded by puppies. "has taken surprise ownership of the Mystery Shack, previously belonging to area shyster, Stanford Pines." a photo of Stan in a devil costume.

"That picture's taken out of context." Stan said from next to Peter.

"Now that you have the shack, what exactly are you planning to do with it?" Shandra asked Gideon.

"I have a big announcement to make today, and I'd like to cordially invite all the good people of Gravity Falls to join me. Free admission to anyone who wears their Gideon pins! It's my face!" he held up a pin.

"I just can't believethat asshole beat us." Maison sneered, then sighed. "Normally I'm able to save the day. I should have seen that he would use other means of getting the deed."

"Not your fault." said the older brunette. "How were you supposed to know that he would call off the deal with Bill."

"Now's not the time to talk about who's fault it is, we gotta get the Shack back." interjected the elder Pines.

"But how? Everyone loves that twerp, he could just say that you gave him the document and they'll believe him."

"Then we just gotta get it back." Stan looked Peter. "You got a plan?"

He drummed his fingers on his tight. "Here's the thing."

"Oh, no."

"I can't actually help you. Orders from the boss."

"Seriously?!" she hissed.

"Yeah, said something about this being your time to shine. But you get to have Liam's help."

Maison sighed through her nose. "Ok, I can work with this." she pulled out the journal, already making her way to the door. "When words don't work, force and threats certainly will."

Stan turned to Peter. "Did you teach her that?"

"Believe it or not it was actually Liam that did."

Stan leaned back, looking older that he was. "What am I going to do? I don't have house or a job. Their parents will definitely call when they hear the news. What am I going to tell them?"

"Don't worry." Peter patted his shoulder. "You guys will figure it out. Here." he gave him a Gideon pin.

"Wh - Ahh!" he winced when his hearing aid acted up.

"Divide and conquer, Stan. Divide and conquer." he, too, left.

"Thanks for helping me with getting the gnomes to comply, Liam."

"No problem. I'd be sad to see you leave Gravity Falls."

"Because you are my teacher and squire?"

"No, because you are my friend."

She smiled. "I think this is their hiding spot." they moved through some bushes and screamed. In front of them was Jeff bathing in squirrels.

He screamed back. "This... this is normal. This is normal for gnomes. Scrub scrub." he scrubbedhis armpit with a squirrel.

The two shared a look of disgust. "We need your help." said Maison.

"You want our help? After your sister left me at the alter? No dice!"

"But what if we were able to get you a new queen? One even more beautiful than Mabel." suggested Liam.

"More beautiful than Mabel?" he squinted.

"Her name's Gideon, and she has lovely white hair." said Maison.

"Whoa. Mature woman, huh? HeyShmebulock, get my cologne!" he ordered.

"Shmebulock!" said gnome held up a bottle.

"Is 'Shmebulock' all you can say?"

The other gnome repeated his name sadly.

"Don't worry, your daughters are fine. Where're we staying? Uh, I put 'em up in this amazing four-star hotel!" lied Stan to the girls parents. "What, uh, sure we got—" he opened the fully stocked fridge. "—plenty to eat. Relax, if I thought I couldn't take care of these kids, I'd send them back right away. Uh huh, you too." he put the phone down and groaned. He held up the pin. "What does he want me to do with this?" once again his hearing aid acted up.

At the construction site Gideon was digging up holes in the lawn. "Where are you, Journal? Where are you!"

"Boy, I hate to interrupt you, but you have some guests." his father gestured towards the fence where Maison and Liam stood on the other side.

"What?" he snapped.

"Give us the deed to the shack, you ass, or else." threatened the girl.

"Am I supposed to say: 'Or else what?'" he emphasized the well-built guards behind him.

"Now!" she yelled.

The guards fell, gnomes sticking from their backs. The fence was destroyed by agnome ridden elk, making way for the rest of the army. Archers using their brothers as arrows were positioned on the roof of the shack. The boy was surrounded.

"You're surrounded by an unstoppable gnome army, now giveme backStan's deed and get off our property!" she said.

"And let the marriage ceremony begin!" added Jeff.

Gideon sighed. "Very well. I suppose this deed belongs to—" he pulled out a whistle and blew it. The gnomes and Liam covered their ears, crying out. "Ha! What do you know! Works on gnomes too! And," he eyed the dhampir perplexedly. "...humans." he blew it again.

"Stop! We'll do anything! How can we serve you your majesty!" Jeff bowed. "The most beautiful girl we've ever seen!"

"I am not a girl!" the boy snapped.

"Really? But your skin is so soft." Jeff rubbed his hand. "You moisturize, or..."

The whitenette pointed at the pair. "Subdue them!" the army followed the order. "I have to admit, I am impressed by your creativity! How did you ever..."

"Let go of us, you bag of dicks!" Maison jerked around, trying to free herself, her journal falling from her vest.

"Could it be? Is it?" he picked it up. "Of course! It all makes sense!The one place I'd never think to look! You had it the whole time! And to think I actually considered you a threat!" he flicked her nose and nearly got his finger bitten off. "Ugh, you are a feral little thing."

"Give it back!"

"Every victory you had was because of your precious book!"

"Give it back or I'll—"

"Or you'll what, girl? You'll what? Huh? Huh? No muscles. No brains. Face it! You're nothin' without this!" he held up the journal.

Maison growled. "Let me go and I'll show you how much of a threat I am!" her efforts were renewed.

"Get the out before she does anything." the gnomes carried them out, Gideon yelling a "Bye bye forever, y'all!"

The duo was released in the forest, the rest of the gnomes running away."Next time, do your own dirty work, come on boys!" the squirrels jump into Jeff's pants and he also left.

Maison sighed, flopping down on the ground.

"Well... that could have gone better." the older blonde said, sitting next to her.

"...Gideon's right."

"What?"

"Gideon is right. The only courageous or cool things I've ever done have been because of that journal. Without it, I can't help anyone. I'm just a little girl pretending to be a hero."

"Dipper, that's not true! You've saved us plenty of times! Like, last night for example. You battled Bill Cipher and would have won. Without using the journal.Bill Cipher, Dipper, not some half-assed villain like Ludo."

"Who?"

"Doesn't matter." he waved his hand. "Or like when you went and got Mabel's pig from that dinosaur nest. When I heard what you did, I nearly had a heart attack!" she smiled lightly and Liam poked her cheek. "Hey, just because you use the journal for ideas doesn't mean that you lack courage or intellect. You're the one doing those insane acts, not the book. If it were me, I would have noped right out of those situations. So don't let a kid with hair bigger than their head tell you you're weak."

"Thanks Liam. You're the best."

When the two returned to Peter's house, they were greeted by Stan's excited face. "Kid, we've got to talk."

"Grunkle Stan..."

"It's important. I think - I think I know of a way to get back the shack." at their surprised faces he added, "I have a plan, but we can't talk here." he lead them to Peter's trophy room, a fire lit in the hearth (it seemed unnecessary in the summer heat), illuminating the dark room, giving it a more dramatic feeling. "Do you still have the journal?"

Shocked, she answered. "No, Gideon has it. Grunkle Stan how do you-?"

"It doesn't matter; not at this moment at least. I promise to tell you everything when we get the shack back, but not now. Did he look excited when he got it?"

"Yeah,... he started talking to himself when it fell out of my vest."

He nodded. "Then he probably thinks that you have the first one, too."

"The first one?" her brows furrowed. "Grunkle Stan I'm gonna need a bit of information here."

"Did you ever come across a page that looks like a part of a blueprint to build some kind of strange futuristic super-weapon?"

"...Yeah! What is that?"

"That is the key to opening the portal in the basem*nt, one that was created by my brother, the author of the journals."

"Your brother?" It couldn't have been her grandfather Sherman, he had never told them about ever visiting a place as strange as Gravity Falls. From what their dad had told them, he had always been a no-nonsense kind of man, worked as an accountant, married a nurse, and had one kid. And plus, from what she could see, her grandfather didn't fit the bill of a man smart enough to build a bunker and a portal to an another dimension. But then, if it wasn't grandpa Sherman, then who? Grandpa Sherman had once told them that he had had two older brothers, twins. One had gone to college, while the other was thrown out by their father when he was a teen. The one thrown out was Stanley who died in a car crash. "I thought he was dead?" she stated bluntly.

"Dipper..." Liam placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him, then back at Stan. He looked rueful, eyes downcast.

"I-... I'm sorry."

It took a moment for the elder Pines to start talking again. "I don't think he's dead, at least I hope not. I need the journals to open the portal so thatPoin-... Ford can return. For that to happen we need to trick Gideon into giving the deed. The way that squirt acted means that he has one of the journals already. We can use that to our advantage."

"But how?" she was tired and frustrated and wanted all of this over with.

"How's your acting?" the question threw her for a loop.

The door opened.

Maison and Mabel boarded the bus, both looking glum.

"Bus 52, departing Gravity Falls, all aboard."the announcer said. The twins looked out of the window to see their friends and grunkle looking miserable.

"Sorry kids, it's for the best." Stan said. The bus started and pulled away, the group waving goodbye.

"Can't believe this is happening." Maison said.

Gideon giggled. "I've got it! I finally got it!" he paraded the journal around, snapping at his parents to leave the room. "It's finally mine! At last, I have journal number" he placed it on the table, finally seeing the number on the hand. "three?! There are THREE of them? But where is journal number one?" he slammed his fists on the surface "I must have all three for the power to be unlocked! But where could I— Dipper! She must know where it is! She gave me the third one and kept the first for herself!" he tugged at his hair so hard that a few strands were ripped out. "I can't let her leave Gravity Falls!" grabbing both journals, the young boy ran outside. "You there!" he pointed atOld Man McGucket who was working on the largerobot version of Gideon. "Is it ready?"

The coot cackled. "Only one way to find out!" he pulledon lever on the back of the robot's head and it glowed.

Gideon got into position on a platform that sent him to the inside of the machine's head, donned in a motion-sensor suit. He then punched his right hand, and the robot pushed the 'Gideonland' sign into the ground. The Gideon-Bot walked away.

"I've got a good feelin' about that kid!" the inventor said.

Maison watched out the window, seeing the familiarsilhouette of the dhampir following in the trees. The plan was set into motion.

"Hey, Dipper, wanna play bus seat treasure hunt?" Mabel asked.

"I'm not in the mood." she really wasn't,so worried about the plan failing that she wanted to vomit.

"Aw, come on!" her twin persisted. Lifting up a seat, the brunette pointed at the different findings. "We got Canadian coins, gum that shaped like Ronald Reagan's head, ooh! Miscellaneous fluid stain?"

"Giant robot!"

"Yeah, a giant robot... Wait, what?" she dropped the seat.

"Look!" the girl pointed at the Gideon-Bot that was running up to the bus.

"Halt! I command you to halt!"he yelled. The two screamed, running up to the front.

"Mr. Bus driver! There is a giant Gideon bot coming towards us!" Mabel yelled. Explosions were heard from outside.

"Oh hey, dudes!" greeted Soos.

"Soos!"

"Don't worry guys. I've been a part-time bus driver for at least 40 minutes." he pointed at his hat that read 'DRIVER IN TRAINING'. "One of these is probably a clutch..." he pulled the clutch. "Hang on, dudes!"

The bot tried to catch the bus, only for something sharp to cut off one of its fingers. "What in tarnation?"

"f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ckery, f*ck, f*ck." Liam swore, trying to keep up and out of sight. He impaled the bot's wrist on his sword when it blocked the road, forcing Soos to turn and smash through a 'ROAD CLOSED' sigh that lead up a mountain. The bot ripped out the sword, threw it away, and started climbing the mountain. "Uh, that sonofabitch." he exhaled, pausing for a second to catch his breath before continuing. "When this is over, I'm taking dad up on his offer for training."

"Soos, cliff!" Maison screamed. Soos hit the breaks, the bus swirling. Chains ruptured from the ground, stopping the bus meters away from the edge. They were about to sigh in relief when the ground shook from the bot's heavy steps. Grabbing her twins hand, Maison ran out the bus. On the edge of the cliff, she looked around for a way out. Noticing a loose chain, an idea struck. "Mabel, come on!"

The Gideon-bot came right after and shook the bus, tearingoff the ceiling of it, revealing Soos.

"Okay. What's closest to our present situation." he looked at the "Bus Emergency Manual". "Raccoon in the engine or angry grandparent won't leave bus?" he paused. "Proba-probably the second one."

The Gideon-bot turned itself, finding the Pines twins on the bridge. Thesisters ran but soon found that the bridge had dead ends. The bot jumped on the bridge, shaking it and nearly making one of them fall. "Tell me! Where is Journal #1?!"

"Journal #1?" they asked in unison.

"Don't play games with me, girl!"he drove them to the end and punched the cliff, causing rocks to fall on the twins.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" she lied, eyes shifting around. "You took the only journal I ever had! What do you even want with these journals anyway?"

The bot grabbed them, both resisting. Maison hit the machine's hand. "Let go of her, you psycho!"

Gideon laughed. "You still think you're some kind of hero?"he turned and threw the brunette over his shoulder. She landed heavily on the ground. "Once I find the final journal I'll rule this town! With you as my queen!"he told the other brunette.

"Dipper! Help me! HELP!"

Maison looked at the other cliff. Liam laid on the ground, a sniper riffle aimed at Mabel and chains readied to wrap around them if they fell. She took several steps back, then ran and jumped off the cliff with a battle cry. The Gideon-bot turned when it heard her, allowing her to crash trough its eye and tackled the one in control. The bot mirrored its master, falling on the tracks, still holding onto the girl.

"Let go of my sister, you piece of sh*t!" she punched him.

"Never! I finally won this time!" he managed to hit her back. The two traded punches, mostly in the face. At one point the boy tackled her, using his weight against her, and punched her. Slightly dazed, she grabbed his shoulders and brought his face forward to headbutt his nose. The boy stumbled back, holding his abused nose, allowing her to get on her feet. He tried to hit her, but she grabbed his fist, then the other one. They glared at each other, and she kneed him where Peter told her to always hit guys. He brought his tights together, but she continued to hit him in the groin.

"Would you please stop hitting me there?!" she found his high voice amusing at that moment.

"Nope!" her grin was feral when she pushed him back on the ground and kicked him once again, this time with a flamed infused foot. His shriek was music to her ears. Unfortunately, since the robot mimicked his every move, and the railroad had barely enough room for both of the robot's feet when it walked, it of course fell off when Gideon rolled to his side in pain.

Maison and Mabel fell off the robot, weighting considerably less than it. They screamed.

The bot fell on the ground, causing an explosion big enough for everyone in the town to see. The Gideon-bot was broken, and its pieces are all around. Then something came down from the top with a string. It wasMaison and Mabel, withthe older twin's grappling hook.

"Oh my God, your grappling hook was actually useful for once." Maison gasped against her twin's shoulder.

The two landed safely on the ground. Spotting her journal, Maison quickly grabbed it. And just in time as the police and townsfolk arrived on the scene.

"Is this the thing that exploded?"

"What's going on?"

"What is that?"

Groaning, Gideon came out of the damaged robot.

"Gideon!" Deputy Durland ran up to the boy. "Oh, good heavens! What on earth happened here?"

"It was the Pines twins! They tried to attack me and blow up my statue with dynamites!" he lied, cowering behind Sheriff Blubs. "Arrest 'em"

"Oh, you son of a - Officers, he's lying!" Maison said, looking around for her grunkle.

"Sorry kids, but we trust Gideon. And nothing short of a miracle would ever change our-" and right on cue, Stan drove his car into a cop's car in his haste.

"Wait! Wait! Stop everything! I've got somethin' to say!" he ran up to a specific part of the robot. "Just wait! Look! You guys all think Gideon is so perfect and honest," in a high pinched voice he impressionated the boy, "'Oh! I could never tell a lie! I'm Gideon!'"

"He's more honest than you!" argued the sheriff.

"Yeah! And he's psychic too!" added the deputy.

"How's this for psychic? Bam!" he kicked the bot and a panel fell off, revealing a room with many screens that showed the townsfolk' everyday lives. "Take a good look!"

"Wait a minute, is that ME?" asked Lazy Susan.

The screen showed Susan in Greasy's kitchen pouring coffee into a pan with an omelette. "The secret ingredient to my coffee omelet is coffee!"

"And me!" Toby Determined said.

The screen showed Toby at the doctor's office lifting his shirt. "I can verify that that birthmark is indeed disgusting." the doctor said.

"Hooray!"

"That's me! That's me!" the crowd came closer to the opening, seeing themselves on the screens.

"That's right, these pins are hidden cameras!" Stan moved the pin around, one of the screens showing a live feed. "And my hearing aid was picking up the feedback! Who's the fraud now?" he broke the pin, revealingthecamera in the eye of it.

The townsfolk threw their pins to the ground and turned to Gideon, all mad and disappointed.

"Gideon, we gave you our trust..." Durland said.

"You LIED to us!" Manly Dan said.

"Please, I... It's not what it looks like... What are you gonna do with me?" he asked, walking backwards as the crowd neared.

"Tyler?" they looked expectedly at the man.

"Get 'im..." he wiped his tears, face turned to the side and eyes closed. "Get 'im."

"Lil' Gideon, you are under arrest for conspiracy, fraud, and breaking our hearts. Durland, the tiny handcuffs." Blubs said. Durland put thetiny handcuffs on Gideon. They lead him to the police car, the door opened by Stan.

"Just one more thing." he grabbed the boy and shook him, a number of objects falling out of his suit. "I believe this belongs to me." he took the deed that covered the second journal, cameras slashed.

"No! No! Watch the hair! You can't do this to me! Y'all are sheep! You need me! I'll be back! You'll hear from my lawyers!" the car drove away with the boy.

"There you have it. Local hero Stanford Pines has just exposed Li'l Gideon as a fraud." Shandra reported. "Anything you have to say to the town, Stanford?"

"The Mystery Shack is back, baby!"

The Mystery Shack was more successful than ever, customers flocking to get autographs from the hero. At, the end of the day, Maison presented her grunkle with the third journal. "Here, Grukle Stan."

"Thanks kid." he paused for a moment. "You, uhh, you want to come see the portal?"

She gave a tired smile. "Some other time? It's been a long day, and I want to sleep."

He nodded in understanding. "Sure, if you change your mind you know where to find me. 'Night kid."

"Goodnight Stan."

Closing the door, Maison sighed. God, it was a long day. She looked around the room, seeing all of her stuff her. She would need to thank Pete-

Her body froze.

There was a riffle on her couch.

Immediately, she lit her hands on fire, looking around the room. It couldn't have been the brunette, he wouldn't have given her a weapon without speaking to her about it before hand. But then who-

"Well, well, well." a husky voice said.

Maison looked up, the blood draining from her face and flames extinguishing as a figure materialized out of thin air with two animals.

"If it isn't my baby sister Maison. How have you been, dear?"

Chapter 22: Sister knows best

Chapter Text

Maison stood, staring in horrorat her sister, Glaucia Wolf, who stared back.

"What?" she asked, holding out her arms, smiling mockingly. "No hug?"

"You shouldn't be here." Peter had told her that unless she herself had invited someone from her family - or they were sent by their parents - then they weren't allowed to enter her dimension, it was against The Rules.

Glaucia co*cked her head to the side. "I shouldn't?" her hair wasn't in curls this time, but in a milkmaid braid. Her eyes lowered, taking in the hunting outfit that she was dressed in.

Her boots were muddy.

"Why do you say that?" Maison's eyes snapped up, inwardly cursing herself for lowering her guard like that.

"It's againstThe Rules." her mouth felt like a desert and her head felt like it was filled with cotton.

"Oh? You know about them?" she asked, as though she were humoring a toddler. "Then tell me," her body lowered and a throne appeared from the shadows. "what are The Rules?"

"Surely we can have this talk another time. It is quite late and I'd prefer it if I could go to sleep before the sun has risen." she tried to be as polite as possible with the loose cannon that was Glaucia.

"Oh, I'm sure we can talk as long as we want; we are in the Mindscape after all."

Maison's eyes darted over the room, heart sinking when she saw that all of the colour had been sucked.

How had I not noticed?

"How rude of me. You must be tired after today's adventure. Have a seat."

"N-no, I-"

"I said:Have a seat." a throne appeared from underneath her. Realizing she was trapped, Maison relented to having a 'talk' with the older Wolf. "Now then, the answer to my question?"

The brunette swallowed, trying in vain to wet her mouth. "1.Do not enter another family member's universe unless you have gotten permission from them or the heads of the family have told you to. 2.You are not allowed to show yourself nor your powers to a non-magical version of yourself unless they themselves are intertwined with the paranormal. 3.If you have to choose between saving a non-family version of yourself and a member of the family, you are to choose the relative. 4.If you are in a member's universe you are to abide by their rules and decisions. 5.You are to not kill another member's squire, for if you do you are to have your heart and magic ripped out and expelled from the family. 5.You are not to kill another family member."

Glaucia slowly blinked. "I see you're further than expected in your studies." she looked like she was torn between being impressed and annoyed. "Peter has been leaving me out of the loop."Azrail and Hades growled at the name. A sign from their master had them quiet down.

The girl swallowed again. "Why are you here, Black?"

The answer didn't come immediately. "I am... worried about your Mabel's friendship with those girls."

Those girls? "Which girls?"

"Peter's sister and the police girl."

Maison's brows furrowed. It had been a while since her twin had gone out with them, or at least that's what she thought. "What about them?"

Glaucia exhaled through her nose as though the answer were obvious. "They are giving her... ideas. Making her see things that she shouldn't see, think things that she shouldn't think."

"You're here... because you're worried about Mabel?" that couldn't be right, Peter had once mentioned in passing how Black despised all versions of Mabel.

Black's laugh was like nails on a chalkboard, echoing in the room. "Worried? About her?"she was doubled over, holding her stomach as her face turned red. Even the wolves were laughing. Finally, finally,she stopped, though a few giggles were still heard. "Ohh, you stupid, stupid girl. I'm not worried about her, I'm worried about the things she will do."

"What do you mean?"

Glaucia eyed her peculiarly. "You... don't know?" her eyes flashed in anger. "You don't know?!What has Peter been teaching you?! Has he not taught you to keep an eye on your enemies?!"

"Mabel isn't my enemy!"Maison cried out in outrage.

"How do you know?"

"Because-"

"Don't you dare tell me: Because she's my sister." her voice became squeaky when saying that. "That means nothing. How do you know she isn't conspiring with the FBI that are after your grunkle? How do you not know she won't turn on you when the time comes? That she won't abandon you the moment the reward is far greater than you are worth.Tell me."

Maison gaped, suddenly mute. Really, how did she know that Mabel wouldn't betray her? Black was right, saying that just because they shared blood Mabel wouldn't go against her would be hypocritical of her. "What do you mean FBI?"

"Let's just say, the feds are interested in that nifty portal under the shack."

That isn't good."Does grunkle Stan know?"

"He is aware that he is a wanted man."

"Doesn't answer my question."

"I know." a pleased smile.

This is going nowhere.

Trying another approach, the girl asked, "And what sort of things is my sister thinking?"

"Why don't I just show you." a pink door with a shooting star appeared.

Maison eyed it warily. Entering her twin's mind seemed wrong.

"Well?"

She stood up and joined her sis-... Glaucia in front of the door. A though occurred. "Just a moment." she concentrated and her wolves appeared. Now they were somewhat even. The ravenette raised a brow, expression neutral, and opened the door.

A flash of bright pink light and they were inside. "Welcome to Mabeland."

Mabeland was completely filled with happy, colorful and goofy objects and characters. '80s background music played all over Mabeland and, somehow, the air smelled like 'childlike wonder'.The sky was bright and had sparkling rainbow colors, and the air was filled with bubbles and other colourful objects. All the buildings were colourful and looked like food, sweaters, bouncy castles or other childish objectsthat Mabel liked.

"Wow, are all minds like this?" the two guys Mabel liked,Xyler and Craz, drove past them in their car.

"It depends on the person." she created a black Chevrolet Impala 1967. "Get in, there's no way I'm walking in the disaster that is this mind."

They arrived at a castle that was guarded by twogiant waffles. Black's wolves made quick work of them, their screams went unheard after she made their mouths disappear. The inside of the castle was as colourful and fun as the outside.

"This way." the older lead them down a corridor marked 'Memories' in blue glitter. The doors they passed were colourful, some having little drawings or stickers on them.

"How do you know which is the correct one?"

"You feel it with your powers. Here, let me show you." she stood behind Maison, hands on her shoulders, and said. "Concentrate and spread out your magic like a mist or a net, let it loose. Imagine Mabel talking to the two girls, or to one of them. Let your magic enter the memories, see them but don't see them. Search for the moments she spends with them. You only want to observe, not interact."

Maison closed her eyes and followed the orders. It was somehow easier yet harder to let her magic run wild. Liam and Peter had always told her that she needed a tight grasp on her powers.

"Don't restrain it, it can't hurt anyone here."

She nodded. Her magic rushed through the corridor, pushing itself under the doors and into the memories. Images flashed through her eyes, but none really registered.Mabel and Christina, she repeated to herself,Mabel and Lillia.

One image stopped. It was Mabel with the older blonde sitting at Greasy's. "I think I found it?"

"Good." Glaucia squeezed her shoulders. "Now lightly tug at the memory, following it like likea trail."

Her choice of words reminded the younger Wolf of the dinosaur adventure she had had. The memories of that day resurfaced and her grip on the memory slipped.

"Don't get distracted." Glaucia snapped, startling her. Her memory perished and her hold on Mabel's memory renewed. "You wanted to see what Mabel's thoughts are, so don't get distracted with your own memories."

Maison nodded. Taking a deep breath and exhaling, she followed the memory to its door.

"Nice job." Glaucia praised, but it was said in an off-handed way.

Turning her attention to the door, the girl took in the colours that where absent in her grunkle's memories. It was a normal cream coloured wooden door that had a cartoonish unicorn sticker. Grabbing the handle, she opened it and went inside.

They were at the diner,having burgers and talking. The two Wolf sisters sat on the thrones that the older created, watching.

"Can they not see us?" Maison asked. The last time she had entered a memory, its occupants interacted with her.

"Not if you're only an observer like we are at the moment." Glaucia answered. "Your intentions matter when searching for a memory. If you don't make them clear, the memory will automatically allow you to interact with the people in it."

"-and then we collected like five hundred candies! We also met theSummerween Trickster and he joined us before he had to go punish some kids who lacked the Summerween spirit."Mabel concluded her tale.

"Uh-huh, and where was Dipper when all of this was happening?"

"Oh, uhh. She was out withsome friends. Ha ha." she drank her Pitt Cola as Lillia narrowed her eyes.

"Which friends? Since when does she have friends?"

"She has friends. And... I'm not sure. Grunkle Stan was the one who told me that she wasn't going to join us."

"And you believed him? Mabel, Stan isn't exactly the most honest guy around."

"What's that supposed to mean?" her twi-... Mabel was upset by the blonde's words, that much was obvious.

"What that means is that you should be careful when trusting him." Lillia's tone was gentleandsympathetic.

"...Yeah, sure." the blonde's warning did nothing to improve the brunette's feelings. The two continued talking about other things, but the teen's words were still in the brunette's head.

"You see? She's making her doubt Stan. That shouldn't happen." the ravenette stood up. "Let's find another memory."

Mabel and Christina were walking in the forest.

"-and that's how I was a boss for the Mystery Shack."

Chistina made a noise. "Wow, can't imagine doing all of that. And you're saying Peter helped you?"

"Yeah. It was great, he even taught me the importance of rules."

"Did any of them stick?"

A bark of laughter. "Some did, but they're so booooriiing."

"Well, not everything is fun and games at work, that much I can tell you. Even if I do work with the sheriff and the deputy, we still have to do paperwork and get noise complaints, especially from that one lady."

"An old lady who wears big glasses and knitssweaters?" Mabel cupped her cheeks.

The teen laughed. "She's not old, around mid 20s, I think, but sure does act like an old woman." Mabel blew a raspberry. They were quiet for a moment before the older brunette asked, "So... Lilly told me Dipper is back?"

Mabel's smile fell. "Uh, yeah. Got back with Peter on my first day as boss."

"Did she say where she was? "

"...Can we not talk about it?"

"Sure, but Imean, two weeks is a long time to be away without telling anyone. The way you had described it made it appear as though she were kidnapped or ran away."

"That's what I though the first three days before grunkle Stan told me that she was staying at a friend's."

"She has friends?"

"Not you too."

"Hey,"she held up her hands. "I'm just surprised. I've never seen her with anyone other than Peter and Liam. Finding out that she has a third friend is surprising news.... And you're positive that she wasn't staying with one of them?"

"I asked them if they had seen her and they said that they hadn't."

"And you believed them? Nothing against them, it's just... Peter is known to lie and Liam would probably lie, too, to validate his story."

Mabel was silent for the rest of the walk.

"Now do you understand?" Glaucia asked when they returned to her room. They had visited six more memories before stopping, something Maison was grateful for seeing how using her powers so much had exhausted her. "Those two are turning Mabel against you; making her doubt and question you."

"That... isn't ideal." it certainly wasn't. Before disappearing for two weeks the girl blindly trusted her, but now... every action, every lie, every 'long walk' in the woods will be seen with suspicion.

"Which is why you should keep an eye on her."

"But how? I can't start spending with her out of the blue after her talks with Lillia and Christina without her questioning it. And what about my training?"

Glaucia huffed. "Weren't you paying attention? This is the Mindscape," she waved her hand to indicate the black and white bedroom. "our domain. We can come and go as we please, enter other's minds and observe."

"But I don't know how to enter the Mindscape."

"Then ask Peter."

Maison opened her mouth to retort before closing it. She did have a point.

"Now, since we're done here, I need to get back." Black turned to the shadows.

"Wait!" there was one more important question that needed an answer. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you come here? Why did you see it necessary to warn me about Mabel? What is your gain from this?"

Her smile was full of sharp teeth. "You tell me." she held up her hand, ready to snap her fingers.

"Wait!-"

Maison sat up, gasping for breath, heart pounding a mile a minute. She looked around her room, trying to reassure herself that it was all a dream.

But aren't dreams her territory, too?a traitorous voice asked.

"It was a dream. A nightmare." she told herself, but even that didn't calm her racing heart; and it certainly didn't help when she found something cold next to her. Lighting a flame, she saw that it was an engraved pearl revolver. Her breath shuddered with each exhale as she looked around and found a small tone with nearly illegible handwriting.

For the day you are to

unhesitatingly use it,

be it in defenseor otherwise.

~ Love, your sister Glaucia

Chapter 23: Who is the enemy?

Chapter Text

Maison stared at the note and revolver with fear. Black reallyhad been here. She flopped back on the mattress, heart still going fast. She would need to talk to Peter, Glaucia's words echoing in her mind.

"Those two are turning Mabel against you; making her doubt and question you."

"This is the Mindscape, our domain. We can come and go as we please, enter other's minds and observe."

"Has he not taught you to keep an eye on your enemies?!"

"How do you know?"

The girl turned on her side.

"You tell me."

What sort of answer was that?What did her sister gain from all of this? She had never before gone out of her way to help her. Why now?

A though that made her chest tighten and blood run cold struck her.

Is Mabelmy enemy?

No, it couldn't be her... could it?

No! Christina and Lillia are the ones making her doubt me.

Before she could continue with her crisis a blue light glowing from between the boards caught her attention. It glowed in short bursts as the ground shook.

"What the-?"

"Thirty long years and it's all let up to this. My greatest achievement!" Stan said, looking up at the working portal.

"Probably should've worn pants." commented Noel from behind him.

The machine spouted some fire that hit Stan in the shoulder. He patted himself to get rid of the fire. "Feisty, I like it."

"Please be careful, Stan. It'd be a tragedy to lose you so close to achieving the goal." while his tone was dry, his green eyes showed worry.

Stan smiled at his old friend. "Don't worry, fangs. I've been through worse."

"But you're still human, Stan." the two went back to the control booth. The older man flipped on the switches and looked at the readouts.

"If we finally pull this off, it'll all have been worth it." the human sat down on the chair. "We just have to keep playing it cool; if anyone ever finds out about this..." he looked at a picture of the girls before laughing. "Yeah, right. We've come this far. Who could possibly catch us now?"

"I'd be careful if I were you. There is a difference between confidence and arrogance."

The vampire's warning sombered his mood somewhat. It was true that they weren't completely out of the woods yet.

"You're right. But who in this town is smart enough to find out." he pulled on a six-fingered glove and pulled a switch labeled 'Max'.

"...I never said that it was going to be someone from Gravity Falls."

"See there! There it is again!" a man told his partner, pointing at a screen with a sound wave.

"We haven't seen readings like this for thirty years."

"Is it coming from deep space? An enemy weapon site?" he zoomed in several times.

"Just as I suspected. Gentlemen! We're going toGravity Falls."

"Stan." Noel shook the man's shoulder. "Stan, wake up!"

He blinked, his mind catching up. "Oh, right. Showtime."

"Welcome, to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack!" Stan announced.

The tourists cheered.

"We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunkLi'l Gideon!" he grabbed a Li'l Gideon doll.

The tourists booed.

"Please, please... boo harder!" and they did. "But I didn't catch that porkchop all alone. This scamp deserve SOME of the glory." he playfully rubbed Maison's hat and got elbowed by the girl. "Okay, okay. Half of the glory."

Toby Determined held up cinder block painted to look like a camera. "Smile for the camera!"

"Your camera's a cinder block, Toby." pointed out the elder Pines.

"I just wanna be a part of things..." the reporter complained.

"Smile for a REAL camera."Shandra Jimenez said as her crewreadied themselves to take photos of the family.

"Everybody say 'Something stupid!'" the trio posed for the photo. Mabel poked her cheeks, Stan did jazz hands, and Maison smiled widely and placed a finger gun to the side of her head.

"Something stupid!"

They relaxed after it was taken. "And don't forget to come to theafter-partytonight at eight." Stan held up an After-Party poster.

"We're doing a karaoke bonanza, people!" announced Mabel, lifting a portablekaraoke machine. "Light! Music! Enchantment!" she blew confetti out of her hand. "And an amazing karaoke performance by our family band,Love Patrol Alpha!" she help up a drawing of herself and her family singing and wearing sparkling jumpsuits with nicknames under each.

"I don't know about that." said Maison.

"I would never agree to that, ever." said Stan.

"Too late! I wrote your names on the list! It's happening!" the girl said.

Wendle blew an airhorn. "Buy a ticket, people! You know you don't have anything going on in your lives! I'm talking to you,Pizza Guy! Don't lame out on me!" the tourists followed him outside.

Stan sighed. "The town loves us, we finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet. Everything is finally going my way."

"Hey, Grunkle Stan." Maison cleared her throat. "Can I have a moment with you? Privately."

Stan glanced at Mabel before nodding. "Sure, kid."

The two went into his office, locking the door after themselves and closing the blinds.

"What's the matter?"

"Grunkle Stan, last night some weird light glowed from between the board as well as tremors. Was that - was that the portal?"

His brows furrowed. The portal's light had managed to seep through? How far? "Yes."

Her face contorted into worry. "That's not good, grunkle Stan. The FBI want that portal."

"How do you know about the FBI?" he had been careful to not let the girls know about that part of him.

"Glaucia - Black told me."

"What?! When?"

"Last night. After we got back, she appeared in my room."

He swallowed. "You - you sure that it wasn't just a dream? After the day we had had-"

"Grunkle Stan, she gave me a gun." the brunette showed him the pearl revolver.

"Oh, that - that's not good." he sat down, head in his hands. "What else did she tell you?"

Maison was silent.

"Kid?"

She bit her lip. "Christina and Lillia are making Mabel doubt us."

"....."

Knocking on the door gained their attention, the handyman's voice coming through the wood. "Hey, Mr. Pines, what's that code word I'm supposed to yell when I see agovernment vehicle?"

"What?"he opened the door, running out. Maison followed to see the older Pines shutting down the shop. Something was definitely wrong.

"Grunkle Stan, what's happening?"

"The FBI is here." he hissed just as the doorbell rang. He put on a fake smile and opened the door to reveal two suited men. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you?" he pulled out a snow globe and an U.F.O key chain of his jacket. "Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?" he pulled a five dollar bill out of his sleeve as he began to sweat.

The two men showed him their badges. "My name is Agent Powers and this is Agent Trigger, we're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town."

"Activity!" repeated agent Trigger.

"Mysterious activity? In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!"

"I assure you I'm not. I was born with a rare disorder that made me physically incapable of experiencing humor." agent Powers said and Stan laughed nervously. "I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth. Now if you'll excuse us we are conducting an investigation." they both entered the shop.

Trigger poked Stan menacingly. "Investigation!"

The two inspected the shop as Stan and Maison watched. Finally, the men turned to the owner. "There seem to be no abnormal signs. We have other spots to investigate. We'll be on our way."

Trigger took around a dozen Stan bobbleheads. "I'm confiscating this for evidence."

"Smart move."

The duo watched them leave before finally speaking.

"I'm going to Peter."

"And I need to speak with Noel."

"I'll be frank with you, I can't teach you how to enter the Mindscape." Peter said.

"But she said to ask you."

"Well, I can't teach you. I don't know how she does that trick. I've seen her snap her fingers and we're there and other times there isn't any gesture."

"Isn't there something you can do?" her tone was pleading.

The older brunette bit his nail, brows furrowed. "Ican't teach you, but I think I know someone that can."

"Really? Who?"

"Will Cipher."

Maison blanched. "Cipher?! You're going to call Cipher?!"

"Not thatCipher! A different one." he sighed. "So you know how there's a multiverse and different versions of yourself?" at her nod he continued. "There are versions of Bill as well. Human, non-human, good ones, bad ones, ect. What I'm trying to tell you is that two of your family members are friends with two relatively good Ciphers. But I'm not sure if the one I'll ask will be able to help right now since the last time I saw him, he was enslaved."

"He was what now?"

He waved his hand, already heading towards the trophy room. "Doesn't matter right now. Did she say anything else?"

"No, only to watch out for enemies and keep an eye on Mabel. She also gave me a gun."

His lips thinned. "Show me how you hold it."

She pulled it out, carefully aiming away from the young adult.

"I'm pleased that you know you shouldn't point a gun at anyone unless you need to and neither is your thumb isn't on the trigger, especially now since revolvers don't have safeties."

"What."Maison looked at the weapon, suddenly feeling too heavy in her hand.

"Maison."Peter rested his hands on her shoulders. "Don't freak out."

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you are. There is a reason for Glaucia to give you this sort of gun. She knows that when the moment comes, you will hesitate. That's why she gave it to you."

"...She's going to force to make a decision." what other reason was there to receiving a gun without a safety?

"...Yes, she will." he turned. "It'd be best if you got ready for the party tonight. Something big must be coming."

Maison swallowed and left, revolver grasped tightly in hand.

A phone rang.

"Agent Powers." the man answered.

"Ạ̴̮̮̦̭̀́͐͑͜ġ̸̢͈̬̳̤ë̷̡̬̖͉́n̸̡̪̫̰̮̲̈́̃̉̀̄͠t̷͚̻̯̀̇͝ ̴͖̻̝̬̞̰͑̆̿͠P̴̮͚̋̂̏o̵̩̩͕͔̗̱̽̌͒͌͛w̶̱͖̬̆̉͜ͅẹ̴̡̲̯̝͛̾͝ŕ̶̥͚̞͕̎͘s̶̺̬̹̻͓̱̈̽͛,̴̢̜̜̳̋͋̉͆̓ ̵͙͗̀̽̕͜I̷̡̛͇̗͉̭̋͛̈́̊͝ ̷̢̢̳̗͒͛̾͐̕̚ḩ̶̺͔̺̆̈́̍̋͜ȯ̶͔̜̗͇͋̈́̈́͘̚p̶̫͒e̴͕̔͛̈́̔̔ͅ ̶̻̰̗̦͔͆͊̕͜Ỉ̸̺̋̎ ̶̝̼̥̓̍́̋a̵̻̲̯͛̍̕͝m̷͎̻͓͔̬͛̇́͂̈̔ ̴͔͌̆̚͝n̶̻̳̟̟̗̬̍͆o̷͈̮̊͂̀̍͘ţ̷̛͈̎̐̽̐̇ͅ ̷̨̦͙̯͛̓͒̅ͅb̷̧̫̻̖̪̔͌ȏ̶̢̢̱̖̯̠͗́ť̷̻͕͇̯̻̉̈́͘̚h̸͇͇͙̱̆̽̓͐̍̉ȅ̷̳̱̮͔̗̄̐͗ṟ̷̰̻͙̹͂̅̋̈́i̵̻̺͕̬͓̭͌̅̌̒̽n̸̫̖͆̂̽g̶̯̔͒ ̷̩͔̮̜̲̐̎͆̎͂y̶̟͗̏͊ͅo̷͙̜̬͔̎̓̓ͅǘ̴̮͊.̷͖̓̌̌ͅ" the person on the other side said, their voice contorted.

"Of course not, your help have been greatly appreciated over the years M-"

"Ǐ̸̜̜̫̤͒̂̈́͝͝'̶̞̔̊̏̍d̸̨̲̲̜͇͉̊͐ ̶͉̦̣̬̤̠̈́̉͌͂̄p̴͍͍̈́͜r̴̤͙̫͊̈́͂ĕ̶̞̇̆̾f̵̧̛̜͍͎́̒͂̍̈́ȩ̸̖́͛͛͆͒r̴̗͇͔͕̥̹̎̚ ̵̧̰̹̐̿͑͘i̷̦͎̜͙̍ͅt̴̪͎͕̤͂ͅ ̸̥͔̺̲̈́̀̄͘͘i̴͍̹̖͈͎̍͘f̴̈́͜ ̵͍̬͛̏y̷̮̤͕̏͘̚̚͠o̴͇͙̝̟̝͛͊̓͋̓ů̵̫̙̩̖̤͆̿͒̓͝ ̴̧̲̎͋̓̌͝ḑ̶̭̳̏̉̍ỉ̵̧̖͚͈̠̀d̴̘̠̐̽̓͝͠ņ̵̣̟̮̮̿̓̓̈̿̾'̷̯̗͍̣̐ṱ̷̥̙̘̲͍̈́̏̑̇̇ ̴̢̮͙̹̜̜͛̌̈́̈́s̶͈̠̜̥̆͛a̷̡͎̗͐̿̇̄̕ỳ̸̻̭͈̔͊͂̈́ ̵̡̜̩͖̳̀͌͂m̶̢̼͔͙̲̯̆̑͊͂̈́̊y̵̗̳̥̔͂̉̋̐͝ ̴̬̝͔̰͇̉͌͌n̸̳̣̲͉̉a̷̢̡̟͓̽̈́̆̈́͛͜m̵̨͇͛̓͂ͅẽ̸̞͠,̴̫͖̾̾ ̵̝̋́̇̆̇͝y̴̹̤̘̾̿̈́̓o̷̡̥͇̰̼͙̓̕u̶͇͆͜ ̷̝͈̟͈̈́̾̃̐̕ň̵̜̼ė̷̡̞̭v̷̢̬̳̺͚͍̽͘̚e̸̪͋̀͝r̷̹̍͛͂͗ ̶̢̛̳̻͉̳̓͝ͅk̶̘̖̋̒̅̉͆̚ǹ̴͍̯̃̊͒̕ŏ̶̧͔̝w̸̺͐̄̇ ̸͇͚͖̺̎͜w̶̗͈̠̾̓͑̅̔̌h̶͕̽̌̓ǒ̶̧̟̘͕͝'̷̡̛̺͕͔͖͈̍̾̽̑̀s̵̖͙͚̿̌̚͝ ̴̞̤͚̘̦͒́̎͘͝l̵̗̓͛̄į̷͚̦̣̔s̶̢͎͉̦͈͐t̸̡̢̩̓͛̏̂̆e̸͇̊̉̒̾͘n̶̯̼̝̠̝͂̀͐ͅį̸̛̛̪͙̭͌̅͠͠n̷̡̗̙̳̦̭̽̊̑g̷̮̯̟̻͍͋̐̓̾̽̒ͅ.̴̞͗̄̆"

"Understandable. I am to assume the reason for this call is related to the shop we checked today?"

"h̶̼͍̥̹̩̆͋̆̋͛ą̶̢̗ṟ̸̮̹̹̞̦̈́͘̕͠p̶̬̗̰͎̯̏́̋̚͝ͅ ̶̭̻͚̳̘̓a̵̺̲̗̜̾̂̆s̵̼͚̘̠̩̽̄ ̸̭̄̃̀͘ạ̶̛̭͉̬͍̳͊͝l̵̙̰̟̱̈́͆̄͐͘ẘ̶̨̢̞̰͠ͅå̶̢̤̜̟̰̺͒͒̔̈y̵̫̥̜͙̎͐́̆̏̇ş̸̲̩͛͐̎̑̾.̷̛̼̭̹̊̇̑̇ ̸͇̫̰͒̉̄͐̾T̵̛͍̩̅̒̾͊h̵̪͎̻̃͆̒̒̾̐ḙ̶̰͉̻͈̗̌r̵̺̮̥͌̈́̉̈̕e̶͈͝ ̴̨̂̃w̶̧̬̙̤̌̍̄i̷̜̤̍̊͑͛͝l̸̹̟͐͒l̴͓̼̭͖̋͒̄͘ ̷̧͎̋̏̿̂͠ͅa̴͕͛̎͑͐̏͘n̷̘̭͚͆̏̌ͅ ̴̪̮̦͕̎̊̔a̴͈͍̖̲̒͗̒̌̀f̶͖̓̌͒̆̕ͅt̸̺͖̗͉̉̋͐͐̕e̸̢̖͙͔̬͚̒̎̎̑r̸̢̭̣̰͌͛-̶̫̗̌̄̄̍p̵̥̌͋͝â̴̗͎̙̰͇̆͋ṙ̵̼͍͘̕t̶̲̰͖̑̄̀̾y̶̪̲̰̤̋̇͌̒̌͘ ̸̨̰̪̲̳͒̿̚ḧ̷̼̳́̇̈́̍̚̕a̵̯̭͎̠̟̺̋̿p̴͚̰̭̩̙̆̾̈͜ṗ̶̫̯̺͇͊̏̚è̶͇̭̂̈́n̴̮̎̓ḯ̸͔̽̆̚ͅn̸̢̠͙̜͖͔̄͗͌̕ģ̴̼̤̉ ̶̡̡̔̆͛ẗ̵̬͇̣́ͅo̸͖̜͆̈͘n̴̺̠̦͂̕͜i̶͇̻͓̖͓͒̈́̎͌g̵̡̗̯̱̗͑h̵̥͉̰͒̏̃͋͜͝ẗ̸̥͙͚̙̦́͒͜.̴̭̋̚"

"And you believe that something supernatural will be happening there?"

"Ḧ̵̼̔̔a̵̠͋̎v̴̯͈͈̈́̃̓ę̴͎̟̩̺̙̾̆͛͌͘ ̴͚̮͎̎̕͠Ị̵̤̅̈̀̽ ̷̭̄̉̄̐ḙ̵̗̹͍̺͌̕v̸̢̩̖̞̊͒͑e̴̡̳̩̥̅ͅr̵̻̮̪̱̜̊͑̔͂͑̕ ̵͇̇͘l̴͎̠̟̄̅ë̵̡̻̰́̆̀a̵͖̱͈̣͇̜̅̌̍͒̈́ḑ̷̩̖͈̉̕͝ ̵̪̗̣̯̗̣̊̏y̶̛̮͇̟̅̌o̵̥̣̮̤̎͛̿͛̾̏ǘ̶̧̩̮̄ͅͅ ̵̞̠͈̕a̴̖̦̺̻̩͌̋̽̿̈́͘͜ş̵̮̠̙͑̍̔̏̑̀͜t̶̮͆̎͐̉͜r̷̝͐̚ả̴͚̩̺̲̯̉̋͐̑y̶̰͎͇͒̀̅?̶̛̥̒͋͛͐"

"No-"

"T̷̨͚̖̖̾͝h̴̢̤͈̆̾̽̆ẻ̴̡͎̳̓͠n̵̨̦͇͌͝ ̶͍̓̒̓̈́͠͠ḑ̴͇̇͜o̶̬̳̅̃̌̽n̵̛̗̚'̶̲̈́̑̔̌́t̵̯̪̙͇̐͊͝ ̸͈̤̻̆͋q̴̰̣̾ȗ̶͙ë̸̮̬̗͓̝́͒͌͛͘͝s̵̥̝͓̫̲̓t̸̢͇̘̻͌̉͜î̷̛̘̟̌ǫ̶̗̘͇̃̉̈́͛̎͘n̴̯̿͑ ̵̤̹͑͗̔͑̋͝m̶͍͎̹̹̲͍̂̆̑̍̉ĕ̸͔̜͝.̷͇̹̻̈́̕͝ ̸̢̭̯̺͍͕̓̃͗̋Ṯ̴̨̛̞̖̱ḫ̵̺͓̂͝e̶͙̿͛ ̸̞̣̼͔̰͎̚p̷̛̛̞̀̓a̷̗̬̖̒͊̌ȑ̸͎̊̏̾̚t̸̜̞̑̉y̴̙͚̝͕̗̎̒̿̃̈́ ̷̞̎s̴͎̘̉̓̐ṭ̵̈̌̈͐͋̚ā̷͈̲̰̙̋͑͠ͅr̵̨͍̹̱̍͊t̶̡̜̜͇̃͆̎͛ͅs̷̢͖̣̭̤̺͌͗̑͊ ̶̧̪̲͉͈̺̾̿ą̷̰̣̃̑̆̑̒t̸̨̉̓̈͋ ̴̢̜̓8̵͙̹̤̰̲̉̌͊̈́̊p̸̘̭̉̅ṃ̵̦̾͝͝.̸̡̹̞͈̘̽̾̈́̇ ̸̩̬̍͊͠G̷͎̖͖̞̝̓͒̕o̸̭͇̠͓͙͐̋̿̀ŏ̶̡̫̟͔̥͉̒̉̚͘̕ḏ̸̪̕͠b̶̡̛͙̮̬̫̺̐̂̿y̴̛̗̋͂̋̚͝e̵̢͔͋͐,̵̢̩̠̰̦̽̎͂ ̸͎͖̬̌̐͗̌å̸͙̮̪̋͒g̴̪̑̔̏͂̕e̶̝̤̣̦̝͛n̸̦̗̂̄͜t̶̤͔̀ ̷̮̖̫̮̖͋P̷̰̠̜̗̟̀̏͒̽͝ͅǫ̵̛̺̻͍̟̫͂͂͝w̵̞̹͚̑̽̈́̈́é̷̙͈̦̒̋͜ṟ̸̢̹͖̅̍̅͝͠s̸̛̰̝̉̉.̵͇̞̯͎͕̊ͅ"̸̨̭̺͚̖͉̈́

The Mystery Shack crew were doing the last touches before the party began. As Stan checked whether everything was in place, he got shot by Mabel's confetti cannon.

"Well, the confetti cannon works!" she gasped. "And the karaoke machine has all the best songs! "We Built This Township on Rock and Roll," "Danger Lane to Highway Town," "Taking Over Midnight" by &ndra!"

"Listen kid, you do not want to hear this voice singing. Trust me."

"Grunkle Stan, karaoke is not about sounding good, it's about sounding terrible, TOGETHER."

While that was happening, Wendle and Maison were hanging up posters.

The redhead laughed. "Check it out! These black lights make my teeth look scary." he turned on the blacklight that was over the posters, revealing the hidden images in them and making the teen's teeth glow. "It's like a crime scene in my mouth!"

"Yeah, it does." she laughed.

He frowned. "Something the matter, Dipper? You look... uneasy."

Her smile fell. "Is it that obvious?"

"Kinda."

"It's just..." she groaned. "Wendle, how would you react if you found out that someone close to you is your enemy?"

"Wow, that's a pretty hard question." he cupped his chin in thought.

"...Yeah, you're right. Forget I said anything." she turned to leave, but was stopped by the teen.

"Dude, I never said that it's unanswerable. I'm going to need some context."

"Well,... let's say that someone who you though as a friend wouldn't hesitate to stab you in the back and was making your family think of you badly. What would you do?"

He was silent for a moment. "Well, I would probably have at talk with them, and, depending on the answer, cut all communication with that person, and also punch them, then clear things up with my family."

Her lips thinned.

Soos stacked piñatas shaped like Stan's head. "Man, I can't wait to smash theseStañatas!"

"Smash!" Grenda dove into the Stañatas, breaking them and the table they are on. "Grenda has entered the party!"

"Stan's brains look delicious." Candy commented as she picked up the candy.

"Girls!" Mabel hugged her friends.

"Omigosh! Omigosh, Mabel! Is that a boombox sweater?" Grenda asked, pointing at the article of clothing.

"See for yourself!"

Grenda poked the boombox. It stared flashing and playing music, to which the girls danced.

Some cars pulled in the parking lot as the party neared its start.

"Aw, I thought this was gonna be a rave." Thompson told his friends.

"Thompson, take off your shirt and make it a rave!" Natalia said.

"I'll do anything for your approval!" he took of his shirt and Timber snapped a photo. "Aw, come on."

"I promise I won't send it to anyone." he said and pressed the 'SEND ALL' on his phone.

Stan and Noel were at a table with 'ADMISSION $10' written on the front.

Lazy Susan walked past, carrying a pie, and handed the money to Noel. "Who's got one good eye and one good pie?"

"These kegs are full of MEAT!" Manly Dan said, carrying two kegs.

"Timber sends me the craziest texts!" giggled Tyler Cutebiker.

"The whole town is showing up! And no sign of those pesky agents." Stan said.

Noel wasn't feeling his friend's happiness. "Stan, Dip- Maison said that Glaucia contacted her?"

His smile fell. "Yeah, even left a gift."

"Stan... you know what this means."

The older man's lips twitched. "I know."

"Hey boys! Looking good! Gorney! You clean up nice! Mr. Poolcheck move those crazy legs." Mabel called to the partiers. "You-you weird pool man." she stopped in front of the police officers. "What's the problem officers? Did you catch my face going ninety smiles per hour?"

"We've got complaints about the loudest party in town." said Christina, fighting back a smile.

"Three words: We want in." said the sheriff.

The girl put party horns in Blubs and Durland's mouths, whispering. "Welcome to your dreams!"

The two walked away, blowing the horns.

"This is a pretty nice party." said the older brunette.

"Thanks! Where's Lilly?"

Christina raised her brows. "She isn't here? Weird. She told me she was already here when I called 10min ago."

"Eh," Mabel waved her hand. "She's probably here somewhere and I just haven't seen her."

A government vehicle drove into the shack's parking lot. Out of it stepped agent Powers and agent Trigger. They looked at their watches.

"G̷̜̫̞̾͛̄͛ơ̶̦͓͋ő̸̧̠̱̬͆̇̒͆d̵̝̞̊̃̊ ̶̤̈e̸̱͇͈͒͐͆͒v̵͍̮͎̜̌̑̚͠ͅé̶̠͇̟̹͍̭͑͝n̷̳̼̈́̉̽̓̇͑i̶͖̖̋̃̔̓͝ͅn̴̡̨̰̲̺͌͒͗͠͠g̸͍͇̾̃̐̅͜͜,̶̛̻̦̖͓͔̦̐̊̈̅̚ ̷͉͙̻̩͛̓͝ģ̸̠̇̔̏̃̾͘e̶͚̟̻̩̐͆̅n̶̨͔͍̘͕̰̎͋t̴̨͔̝̞̆̅̍l̶̰͛̈́͌̋̽̕e̶̪̭͉̗̔̈́̕m̶̨̛̫͕̭̓͜͠e̵̛̩͌͂̓̒n̴̡͔̠̦̪͐.̸̦̼̓" a voice said.

Agent Trigger reached for his gun only to be stopped by his partner. "Stand down, Trigger. This is our informer." he turned to the figure that was hidden by the shadows. "You said that something supernatural will be happening."

"T̴̝͒͊͘̚ḩ̸͇͕̞̥̌̔̎͘ạ̶̧̥͔̊̆̃̂͜͠t̵͙̂̎̑͒̒̚ͅ ̸͉̤̩̌̓i̴̼̦̹̲͙̊̆̅͗̈́s̶̮̙̩͉͐͌͗͆̏͘ ̷̭̜̗̔͆͊͒̐͠c̶̮̰͉͔̙͒̽͑͑o̴̧̦͖͙͊̔͘r̵͈̣͉͉̥̱̋̍̊̄r̴͓͍͇̜̹͋͐e̵͕͔̗̠̒̑͆̐́͛c̴̨̡̳̭̻̍͑t̷̖̋͐́̾.̴͈̦͐"

"We aren't seeing any activity."

The figure chuckled, the sound echoing. "Y̸̥͇͔̦̊̒̊͝o̸̼̱͠u̶͔̲̠̜͆̏͊̽͛̈́'̴̡̫̼̱͊̿͠ṛ̵̡͊͑̃̋̓̕e̵̟͉̠̼͗̉̉̓͠ ̵̳̈̿r̶̢͕̣̮̬̔̓̾͝ͅị̸̗͋̋g̷̗̺̙͑̉̇̕͜͝ẖ̷̢̡̠̤̯̾͋͆t̷̢͇͚͔͉̃͋͐̋͝.̵̠͉̯̖̼̍ ̶͎̮̰̤͕̓̅L̶͇̎͛̑̍͋͌e̸̺͉̘͉̾̓͝t̴̮̹͈̏̂͛͆'̸̬̬͙̰̙̳ș̴̠͍̀̓̔̚ ̷̘̇̍͒̓͘̚ç̴͉̤̙̂͂͜͝ȏ̴̱̻̭̓̂̏͋r̵̟̬̣̪̓͋͐ř̷̢͔͉̥͖̕e̸͇̬̞̱͖̳͒̀̈́̈́c̸͈̟̪̖̅͛͘̕͜͝t̵̰̣̮̲̺̔̈́͘ ̵̗̱̃̚̕͝ẗ̴̳̭́̈́̾͝h̸̢̖̭̮͋̆̊͜a̶͎͓͓͖̋̾t̵̫͋,̶̨̹̤̜̜̖̑̎̔ ̵̟̺̗̔̉͐̂ͅs̶͉̋̈́̑̕h̶̹̎͝a̵͓̾͂̀̑l̵̘̈́̇̋͛l̸͑͑ͅ ̸̛̲͈͍͓͆͆͑͒ẘ̵͉͎̲̱̼̆̈͐͘ę̷̱̘̬͂͛͛͗?̸̡͙͍̫́̎͗" they spread out their arms. "C̴͍̯͂̾͋ò̵̡̫̝̬̞͈̃r̵͎͎͆p̷̨̛͇̘̈́͑̔̃u̵̱̜͈̗̞͇̿̏̇s̴̤̓͜ ̴̡̘̱̇̑͘L̸̨̺̙̉͆̃̋͜ę̵͇͕̀̽͘v̴̼̼̇̓̕i̸̡͗͐̒̌͌ṱ̵̫̮̻̹͈̅͐̏̂̚ŭ̴̲̫̬̬̩̦̋͌̈́͘ş̶̼͔̟̙̐̈́̂͋́̇͜!̷̮̱̖̖̈́̾͜ ̶̣͎̬̙̙̈́D̶̡̫̅̋̑i̵̗͖̠̥͇̇a̸̛͇̤̹͍̅̀̃͘͠ͅb̶͙͈̤̰̼̅̃͆̚ľ̶͕̜̩͔͙̈́͒̀o̷̪̔͐̉͠ ̶̥̖̭͇̈͆̈́̒͝ͅĎ̵̝͙ǫ̷̡͉̣͙͛ͅm̵̨̖̳͎̜̓̈́i̸͕̭͌̓̽͝n̶̫̞̤̙̎̑̔͑̌ų̸̞̩̈́s̶͔̙̽̑̆͗̕̚!̶̖̯̮͎͙͚̽̆̈ ̷̤̒̇͐͛M̶̦̙̼͇̭̱͒̋̒ó̶̢͈͓̳͊̂͝n̸͎̭̱̼̞̈́ͅḍ̶̣̥͂o̶̧̲̣̗͘ ̷͖̼̤̄͌V̴̡̎̑̿͐͠ḯ̷̛̞̫̈́͛ç̴̧̝̫̫̈̏̕̕i̵̢̯̗̥͋̏̇͂̔ǘ̵̗̼̤͍̹͂͌̉̽ͅm̷̡̱͕͓͛!̷̛̞͚̮͋̇̾́"

The last word echoed as a large gust of wind build up. The ground shook and split, green smoke coming out of it. A single zombie crawled out, heading towards the agents.

"Mother of all that is holy!"

"What do we do?" the blond asked his partner.

When it neared too much for comfort, Powers hit it with a rock, crushing its head.

The informer's voice drew their attention. "B̴̡̨̞͉͚͋̽̓e̴͕͕̪̗͓͍̒̏̃̉͘t̵͎̩̞̭̠̮̋̿̍͐̏̀t̸̢͉̠̻͎̬́̈́ê̴̗͙̳̖͌͘̕͝͠r̶̢̘͕̩̍ ̷̧͍͚͝ģ̶̡̭̤̙̭̌͒̈́̔̕e̴͇̭͙̼̽͐̏ͅt̵̥̟̅͗̒̋͒͜͜ ̴͎̪͎̪̥̋̃̍̊g̵̩̲͈̉͠o̶̧͉̩̫̾i̴̤̔̄ͅn̸̹̱̮̦̆͋̾͘g̷̡̛͎͍̞̐̋̾̏,̴̣͍̭̰̉̓̕ ̵̧͉͙̤̈́̈́̚͜a̷̡̩̘̝̩̔͋͑̕̕͝ͅg̸̻̋̎e̵̦̠͌̽̈n̸̹̹͙̗͒͗͝t̶̞̱̐͌̊̏̒͗s̸̤͚̩̱̊͜ͅ.̵̖̬͍͐̄͂͒̚ ̷͔͖̦̭̱͛̍͌̾̽T̴͍͉͆͒h̵̟̳̞̜͖̆̈́̑à̶͕̠̐̈̇̿͠t̷̺͔͙̋ ̴̡̰͛̔̅̓͂w̵̙͑̿̓̓͝o̵̹̪̠̭͠ͅň̴̲̻̣̂̽̀͌͝'̸̨̓̒̐t̵̢̥̂ ̷̛̥͍͎̂̈́̋͘ͅͅb̸̜̬͉͉̱͖̾̽̍̎ê̷̹̺͍͈ͅ ̵̞͊̀̕ẗ̸̠͎͙̳͉́̔̐̀̕͠h̶̻̩̱͉̊̍̈̒͝͝e̵̫ ̵̥̗̯͙̺̩͒̉͐̀̔͘o̶̝͠ͅn̶̡̮̫̩͉̠̈͋l̸̛͖͍̲̤̗̍̅̑y̵̱̦͉͎͒͊̽̏̀ ̴̱̏̒ͅz̶͓̲̦͚̊̏o̷̼̔̌̊̊͌m̵͓̮͔͂̎̉̈͘b̶̟̭̳̖̈́̌̐̚͝i̷̩̠͕͎͋͗̿̆͌͝e̴̛͕͍̙͔͂ ̸̫̠̘͍͔̎́́̈́̿͠c̷̢̡̛̻̬̰͖̐̐̾͝ô̸̗̻̲̖̂́̔m̸̙̬̆́i̷̫͕͖̎͠n̵̳͕͖͋̎g̶̼̩͈̈̃̑ ̸̧͇̙͚̝͐͐̕o̷̜͍͈̘͚̤̊̉ư̵͕͈̱̈́̈̈́͌̿t̴͕͍̞̹̱̎̉͊ ̴̢̧͚̗̃͊͝ơ̴̛̖̭̹̜̇̂̕f̶̨̯̻̉ ̷̡̢̜̪͖̠̍t̸̺̲̗̻̜̯̔̃̽ḧ̶͈̼͈́̂̓̚͘e̷͉͕̍̔̇̂ͅͅ ̵̦̱̖͊̌͂̎c̸̹͈̙̙̲͆̀̐͝ȓ̶͙͎̺̰̠̈̕a̴̯͇̹͖̖̽̆̄̈́̓c̴̡̞͈̮̣͉̎̀̏̌͝k̵͔̺̙̣̏̿.̷̢̣̭̲̦̼͗͊̋͆̏" and just as they said their warning the ground started to shake again as more cracks formed, more green smoke, and suddenly hundreds of zombies appeared, going after the agents.

At the party everyone was happy, dancing, and having a good time, unaware of the horror that was just released.

"What up, fools. It's Blubs and Durls."the sheriff rapped.

"Making all that money and gettin' them guys!" rapped the deputy.

"What do you say guys, is this party legendary?" Mabel asked the crowd. "When I say 'Mabel you say 'Pines'!"

The ground shook as she said, "Mabel!" a woman screamed and she repeated, "Mabel!"

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!" a man yelled.

"Why does that never work?" the pre-teen asked.

"Whoa, WHOA! I think it's an earthquake!" Wendle blew an air horn. "Hey, everybody, we got to get out of here!"

"We are all doomed!" said Candy as people ran around.

"Quick, into my getaway pouch." Grenda said and the smaller girl jumped into the backpack. "Mabel, escape while you still can!" Grenda told the brunette as she, too, left.

"Wait, no! Don't leave! We haven't even done our family karaoke song yet!" she called out.

"Mabel!" the girl turned to see her sister calling. "What is happening?"

"I don't know, everyone just started freaking out." a scream drew their attention. They turned to see Lillia running away from the forest's edge.

"RUN!" she screamed as she fled.

"Lilly, wait-!"

Groans and moans came from the trees. Soon, the zombies appeared.

Grabbing Mabel's hand, Maison tugged her away. "We gotta go!"

Soos stepped between the girls and the zombies. "Dudes, stay calm. I've been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I've seen, I literally know all there is to know about to avoid zombies."

Perfect, a human shield.

One of them bit the handyman, turning him into a zombie. "Second thought, gonna flip the script. Can I, eat your brains? Yea or Nay? Seeing some 'Yea' faces over here."

What a useless shield.

The two ran around the side of the house, Soos and the other zombies in slow pursuit. Dipper sliced through a zombiethat got in their waywith a shovel, not once stopping in their run.

"Quick! The golf cart!" Maison said. Zombies attacked the golf cart, tipping it over and biting at it. "Oh, for f*ck's sake!"

"Hoo, that's a bummer. Good news for me though, ha ha." commented Soos.

"Soos!" she snapped.

"Sorry, dude, I just really want those brains!"

"Stay the f*ck away!" Maison grabbed and hit a colorful disco ball at the zombies. One of them caught it in its mouth and swallowed it, sending rays of colorful light shining out between its ribs. They continued advancing toward the girls, who stood in fear.

"Give it up, dudes! Your fighting only makes us look more rad!"

"What do we do? Where's grunkle Stan?" asked Mabel, hiding behind the brunette.

Where the f*ck is grunkle Stan?!

Stan and Noel were in the secret lab, the portal glowing and making a zapping noise. Noel glanced at a screen and did a double-take.

"f*ck! Stan!" Stan looked back, his eyes widening. On the screen were the girls and Waddles running away from the zombies.

"Take that, sucka!" Mabel hit a zombie with the karaoke machine hard enough to make its head fly off. "This thing's a surprisingly good weapon!"

"Why are you still carrying that thing?!" Maison yelled. More zombies approached them and they ran into the shack. "Quick! We need to board up all the windows!" they piled things in front of the door, blocking it. The zombies pressed against the door and begin to break it. "That should hold them for a while."

The window was crashed open, Soos leaning in. "Hey dudes! By the way, I taught the zombies how to get into the fuse box. Among these dudes I'm like a genius, haha!"

The lights went out, red light pouring in from outside. Zombies started to climb in through the window.

"Soos, I swear I'm going to f*cking kill you." Maison said.

"Can't kill something that is already dead, dude."

A zombie grabbed her arm, lifting her up. She screamed, the zombie opened it's mouth, when suddenly it was hit with a baseball bat and droped Dipper. While on the floor, its head was crushed by Stan.

"YOU TWO! ATTIC! NOW!" he ordered. Without needing to be told twice, Maison grabbed Mabel's hand and dragged her up the stairs as Stan and Noel fought the horde. They ran into Mabel's room, slamming the door shut, and waited with bated breath. They backed away as something started breaking in. The door opened to reveal Stan leaning on Noel with his arm around the ginger's shoulders.

"Ow. Everything hurts." Noel carefully set Stan on the girl's bed before barricading the door.

"Grunkle Stan, that was amazing!" said Mabel the same time Maison said, "Grunkle Stan, what are we going to do?"

The man grimaced. He looked at Noel when he neared and watched as he cast a spell to make Mabel fall into a deep sleep. "Any ideas, fangs?"

"None." he made his way around the room, laying a protective spell. "How did these zombies come to be? Have you read anything like that in the journal, Maison?"

Before she were able to answer, her grunkle butted in. "Why're asking her that? Surely you know a curse like that."

The vampire huffed. "Just because my several times great-grandfather rised an undead army to kill every mortal a country doesn't mean I know the enchantment."

"There is a spell for rising the dead in the journal, but I didn't see a counter for it."

"The journal is in the basem*nt..."

They mulled over how to get the journal when an idea struck the girl.

"I though of something."

"What is it, kid?"

"Now, don't freak out-"

"I already don't like this idea." said Noel.

"But what if I..." she made a vague gesture with her hand. "ask for help. From the family."

The two men glanced at each other.

"And who... do you plan to ask?"

She sucked in a breath, letting it rush out of her with the answer. "Glaucia."

"No." Stan's answer was instantaneous. "Pick someone else."

"She's possibly the most knowledgeable of the three relatives that I can summon and we need that!"

"What about Blue? Or even Red? Anyone but Black!"

"I don't know them!"

"Ok, break it up, you two." Noel said, standing between them. "Stan, no matter how little we want her here, she's our best bet." he turned to the girl. "Do your magic, Maison."

The brunette nodded once and closed her eyes, concentrating on calling her sister, who was way more willing to answer than anticipated.

"Well, well, well. I didn't expect to be back in your dimension so soon, little sister."

They turned to the corner of the room where Glaucia Wolf stood in all of her sweatpants and 'Love Sentence' t-shirt, holding a tub of vanilla ice cream glory. She rolled her eyes at their flabbergasted looks. "What? It's movie night."

Shaking herself, Maison quickly explained. "There's a horde a zombies outside and we don't know how to deal with them."

"Really?" the taller girl walked up to the window. "Huh, would you look at that."

"Think you can help us?"

She shrugged, eating some ice cream. "Sure."

Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, the girl asked. "What do we have to do?"

Glaucia held out her hand and journal 3 along with a black light appeared. "I'm guessing you haven't learned about the invisible ink yet."

"Invisible ink?" asked Stan just as she turned the light on, flipping to the 'Undead' page.

"'Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect three part harmony.'" she read.

"Three part harmony, how can we create that?" Maison asked. "I have a naturally high-pitched scream...?"

"That thing" she pointed at the sleeping girl. "will be of use. This time. What was the band's name again? 'Love Patrol Alpha'?" she laughed. "Good luck, I'll be getting back to my movie now. Ciao." and then she was gone.

"Love patrol what?" asked the vampire.

"She's kidding, right?" asked Stan.

Maison looked at Mabel. "No, she is not."

The zombies crowded the Mystery Shack, wandering through the gift shop, when a noise from a microphone came.

"Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?"

They made their way out, some passing through the living room.

Soos noticed the Tv. "Ooh, 'Gossiping Housewives' is on!" he sat down. A zombie called out to him. "Eh, I already sat down."

The horde gathered outside, looking up to see Maison, Stan and Mabel on the roof awning, each holding a microphone.

"Zombies and gentlemen! I'm Mabel, they're Dipper and Stan, and together we're Love Patrol Alpha!"announced Mabel.

"I never agreed to that name!" complained Maison.

"Hit it!"

"Taking Over Midnight" started playing.

Stan looked at the lyrics. "Uh, Mabel, our lives may not be worth this."

Just wanting the disastrous night to be over with, Maison sang. "Friday night, and we're gonna party 'til dawn. Don't worry, Daddy, I've got my favorite dress on?!"she covered the mic and hissed, "Mabel, this is stupid!"

Ignoring her sister's displeasure, Mabel sang, "Roll in to the party, the boys are lookin' our way. We just keep dancing', we don't care what they say! And all the boys are gettin' up in my face–" some of the zombies had stared climbing, trying to make a grab at them. "Aah! Guys, we have to sing together or it won't work!"

"Boys are a bore, let's show 'em the door." Stan squinted.

"We're takin' over the dance floor! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like!" the three sang, creating a soundwave powerful enough to make some of the heads explode, while others covered their ears."Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!" more heads exploded. "We're queens of the disco! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!"

"Takin' over tooniiiiight!" Maison sang and the guitar riff played. The last remaining zombie climbed up and roared in her face.

"DUCK!" Mabel shot it with the confetti cannon. Its head landed in the punch bowl as the rising sun illuminated the corpses of all the zombies. "Thank you! We'll be here all night!"

"Deal with it, zombie idiots!" Stan laughed maniacally. He and Mabel started chanting 'PINES! PINES! PINES!' and Maison tried to join, but when she opened her mouth to say 'Pines', 'Wolf' came out. She covered her mouth.

The trio examined the destruction of the shack.

"That was one heck of a party, am I right, or am I right?" Mabel asked before fainting.

"Don't worry, she's just under my spell." Noel said, carrying the journal.

"Why?" asked Stan.

His lips thinned. "I examined the other journals, and this is the only one that has the incantation for raising zombies."

Stan and Maison looked at each other. "What does that supposed to mean?"

"It means that someone summoned theme with a purpose. The question is who."

Chapter 24: The Bunker

Chapter Text

"Journal and black light?"

"Check."

"Lucky pinetree hat?"

"Check."

"Pocket gun?"

"Is that really necessary?"

"You never know. The last few times you went on an adventure with Mabel escalated quickly."

"...Check."

"Safety on?"

"Yes."

Maison and Peter stood next to the tree line. The plan for that day - orchestrated by the older brunette - was to find the author's bunker and see if he had left anything of importance there. She was to be accompanied by Mabel, Soos and Wendle, who were to meet her at a specific tree.

"How long did you say you will be away?" she asked.

"If everything goes by plan I should be back by tomorrow afternoon."

"Cool."

Peter hesitated for a second before hugging her. She was surprised by the affection and loosely wrapped her arms around him.

"Ok, that's enough affection for one day." he let her go. "Get ready, next time we meet your Mindscape training begins."

"And you're sure this Will demon can be trusted."

"Yes."

Maison narrowed her eyes at him. He stared back.

She huffed. "Fine."

Peter grinned. "See you soon, Maison." he got in his car and drove away.

The brunette turned to the forest. "Let's do this."

"Thank you all for coming."

"Hey, when there's a mystery, you can count on your sister-ey." Maison tried not to feel guilty when Mabel said that.

Soos laughed. "That's an amazing rhyme. When you want some, good... When you need a Soos, you... Oh oh, gosh, I don't know."

Maison eyed the tree. "Peter told me that there's a bunker in this forest. I thought that it would be fun to explore it. He said that this tree is the entrance to it, but I'm not sure how we can get inside."

"Chop it down, dudes!" Wendle arrived on his bike.

"Wendle!" Mabel said.

"Oh, hey! You came." the pre-teen was pleasantly surprised.

"Dude, I'm so stoked about this. I've been wanting to go adventuring with you guys. Sure beats picking up after my dad at home. Thanks for the invite, man!"

"Of course, you can join anytime you want." she said. Wendle walked past them to examine the tree and Mabel turned to her sister, a grin on her face.

"Uh oh!" Mabel poked her. "Inviting Wendle on our mission? Me thinks there's romance afoot!"

"No, look, Mabel, I've thought this through and I'm over Wendle. It was just a puppy crush. I know what matters to me now."

"Hah! YOU'RE over Wendle? Allow me to put on my 'skepticals'." she made circles around her eyes with her fingers. "Whoop!"

Maison rolled her eyes.

She's so immature.

"I've moved on, Mabel. You should too." she walked away.

"Skepticals..."

"Hey, is it just me, or does that branch kinda look like a lever?" asked the redhead.

"Huh, yeah. But how do we get up there...?" mused Maison. She could possibly levitate herself up but that would require for the others' attention to be elsewhere. Another opinion would be to use a ladder, but for that they would need to go to the shack to get one. She exhaled through her nose; why hadn't Peter told her that they would need a ladder?

"Boosh."

She looked up to see that the teen had climbed up using his belt and had hit the lever with his axe.

Soos and Mabel voiced their amazement of his actions.

"Oh yeah, my dad used to make me compete in these lumberjack games when I was a kid. Guess I kinda ruled at it." the tree shook, startling him. "Whoa, what is that?" he lost his grip and fell.

Maison's hand shot out, her magic slowing his fall and controlling where he landed. She sighed in relief when he landed on a brush next to the tree.

Unfortunately, that was short-lived. The tree and the ground around it sank down, taking Wendle with it. They pulled him out before he fell in. They stood around it as a staircase to the middle of the tree appeared, and subsequently a door inside the tree opened.

"Alright guys, this is it." she looked them each in the eye. "Whatever happens down there, we tell no one."

Mabel gave her a thumbs up.

Soos turned his hat backwards.

Wendle zipped his lips and threw the imaginary key.

She faced the staircase, lantern raised. "Let's go."

The group slowly descended the stairs and entered an old room filled with weapons, a bed and food stock.

"It's like a fallout shelter or something." Maison commented.

They all wandered around.

Wendle took a 'Warning Fallout Shelter' poster off the wall and dust it off. "This is going over my bed."

Mabel put her face in a barrel and came out with caterpillars on it. "Haha! My face feels fuzzy!"

"It's like someone was preparing for a disaster. But what kinda disaster would need supplies for over sixty years?" Maison looked up a shelf with dated boxes, the highest labelled 2070.

What was great uncle Stanford preparing for?

Soos opened the weapon locker. "Oh my gosh! ASmez dispenser! I remember these things. What's that, yes I will have some of your old-timey face food." he popped a candy in his mouth and grimaced. "Ew, dusty!" he ate a second one.

"Guys, look!" Mabel held out a dripping bean can. "I think this can was opened recently."

"There might still be someone down here!" Soos said.

Maison stared at the can with wide eyes.

Peter said that this bunker hasn't been opened for nearly 30 years. Nobody should be down here.

"Wait a minute..." Wendle pulled down a map of Gravity Falls from 1982, revealing an open hatch cover. "I think I know where they might have gone..."

They crawled through the tunnel and arrived in a chamber composed of tiles on the walls, floor and ceiling.

"Oh, man!" said Wendle. "Was this place built in the past or the future?"

"This room is way creepy." commented Soos.

"Not as creepy as Dipper's book collection! Heyo!" Mabel shoved her sister, and she stepped on the square with a design and it depressed, causing the hatch to slam and lock. The symbols on the walls glowed red, a buzzer sounded and the room started to shake. Some squares started to poke into the room.

They pressed against each other, beginning to panic.

"What's goin' on, dude?" asked the handyman.

"Wall things!" Mabel said. "Crazy wall things happening right now!"

The treen tried to push a block back in vain. "It won't stop!"

Maison took out the journal and black light, flipping the pages. She read what was needed to be done. "Oh, f*ck me!" she looked around, zoning in on four symbols. She ran, quickly pushing two and running for the third. "Someone push that symbol! Quick!" she pointed at the last one that was going to be covered by a block.

Wendle climbed up and pressed it.

A door opened on the other side of the room and they ran as the blocks continued moving. The last one to exit was Maison, her vest getting caught. Thankfully, her weapon was concealed by her clothes.

They were in a surveillance room, catching their breath.

Wendle stood up, a wide grin on his face. "Yes! Yes! That was, huh, that was nuts!" he panted and told Maison, "You ruled back there, man!"

"Thanks."

"Get a load of this crazy surveillance room." he commented, walking around.

"Check it out, dudes!" Soos grabbed two beakers and put them in front of his eyes, making a silly face.

"Soos, Soos... That is hilarious." the younger man said.

"Hey sis, you forgot your vest." the brunette said, pulling it out. A note fell. "What the..?" she picked it up and read, "Dear Wendle, I've always had a crush on.."she gasped, covering her mouth. "OHMYGOSH!" she whispered to herself. With a grin, the girl walked up to her twin. "Hey. Dipper! Look what I found..." she dangled the note.

Maison's brows furrowed. "A note?"

"Not just any note! Your confession to, you know..." she wiggled her brows, handing her sister the paper.

Maison read it and her eyes widened.

She hadn't written this.

"This isn't mine."

Mabel rolled her eyes, thinking her sister was in denial. "Yes, it is, silly. That's your handwriting."

It was her handwriting, butshe hadn't written it.

"I knew it! You're not over Wendle at all!" Mabel gasped. "And you were gonna tell him today?"

Maison shook her head. "Mable, I'm serious! I didn't write this! Someone must of put it in my pocket! And I told you. I'm over Wendle, it was a stupid crush. You've had plenty of crushes."

"Dipper, there's nothing to be ashamed about." the girl wrapped her arm around her twin's shoulders. "You just need to tell him how you feel."

The pre-teen shrugged off her arm, getting annoyed. "For the last time: I'm over him. Just drop it already!" she stomped away.

"Dude! Dipper, you gotta check out this weird metal closet." the redhead stepped inside the closet and in a robot voice said, "I am a robot, I have a metal closet."

Mabel ran over and hugged her sister. "Sister, whatever happens I just you need to know something: this is for your own good."

"What?"

Mabel shoved her into the closet with Wendle and shut it.

Maison stood up and pounded on the door furiously. "MABEL! OPEN THIS GOD DAMN DOOR OR SO HELP ME I WILL BURN ALL OF YOUR f*ckING SWEATERS!"

"Oh, I'll let you out Dipper, as soon as you tell Wendle that thing you've been wanting to tell him! You'll thank me for this later!" the girl said, leaning against the door.

"What is she talking about?" the teen asked.

"A misunderstanding that she refuses to acknowledge." she told him. "MABEL, I SWEAR TO EVERY GOD IN EXISTENCE THAT IF YOU DON'T OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT THIS INSTANT I WILL CUT YOUR HAIR OFF!"

"Ugh, where are the lights?" Wendle pulled a hanging cord.

Water gushed down, followed by a blast of hot air that pushed them together. A red light flashed and a tone sounded. A sign reading 'Decontamination Complete' flashed and doors opened to a wrecked underground room.

"Whoa!" Wendle stepped out of the closet. "A hidden lab! Maybe someone did experiments down here."

Maison eyed the tunnels. "What do you think dug all these tunnels?"

"Hopefully we won't find out."

A low growl echoed around. The two screamed and ran as a dark figure approached.

"MABEL, OPEN UP, FOR REAL! THERE'S A MONSTER IN HERE!" they banged, glancing back.

"Ha ha, nice try! The only monsters are your own inner demons, Dipper!" the brunette said.

Seeing the creature closer than before, the teen said, "Dipper, just say whatever Mabel wants you to say, so she'll let us out of here!"

"Come on Dipper! Now's the time, sis!" called out the other girl.

I will skin her alive

"I can't tell you that because it isn't true!" she grabbed his hand. "There's gotta be another way out!"

"Wait, what? Dude, where are we going?" they ran down a dead-end tunnel, allowing the thing to corner them. "What do we do?"

"Stand behind me!" she reached for her gun just as something else attacked their pursuer. They watched the shadows fight before the human-shaped one ripped the creature's tongue out.

"Back, back you heinous beast!" they said as it retreated. The person came closer to them and threw the appendage on the ground. "Well, I just ripped out a monster's tongue."

Who the f*ckis that?

"Hurry now, I scared it off, but it'll regenerate." the man lead them down the tunnel, Maison following in a slower pace. "I wasn't expecting guests. I've been down here for a very long time. Years! Weeks, maybe! I miss orange juice."

"And why exactly are you down here, Mr...?" Maison asked, hand resting on where her gun was hidden.

The man laughed. "Call me Baron, my girl. As for your question..." they entered the destroyed lab. "It's one of my experiments, a shapeshifter. Able to take the form of anyone or anything it sees. It broke free from a cage of solid steel! I've gone half crazy trying to catch the creature alone. But now you're here! Will you help me catch it?"

A shapeshifter you say? Curious, quite curious.

"Of course, Baron." she said sweetly. "Wouldn't want such a dangerous creature loose."

"Sure are taking their time in there." commented Soos. He slipped on a lab coat and picked up a briefcase. "Hey, do I look smarter with this coat and briefcase? I feel like I look smarter..."

Mabel gasped, running up to a monitor that showed test tubes. "Razzle dazzle! Look at this tube-y thing!" she pressed a button on the dashboard. "Frozen! Unfrozen! Frozen! Unfrozen! What's this?" the clipboard underneath the screen caught her attention. "Experiment number 210: the shapeshifter."

"The shapeshifter? Uh, dude? Didn't Dipper say there was a monster in there with them?"

"I thought she was just joking!"

"YOU KNOW DIPPER'S JOKES ARE TERRIBLE!"

They looked at the door in horror.

"DIPPER!"

The man pulled aside a curtain, entering the tunnel with the duo following. "Come in, come in! I apologize for the state of things! I don't get many non mole-people visitors. Now the beast must have some weakness we can exploit. I just wish I had my research on me. But alas, I lost my journals so many years ago."

"Did you say journals?" asked Wendle. "What do they look like?"

"They are maroon coloured and have a six-fingered hand on the cover."

"Dude, Dipper has one of them!"

Maison froze.

"You do?" he was looking at her hungrily.

"No, Wendle is mistaken." she said.

The man didn't appear to believe her. "Are you certain? My research in those journals could greatly help us."

She nodded. "I wouldn't lie about something like this."

He squinted at her before turning away. She wasted no time in grabbing the teen and dragging him away, making sure to sink her nails in his skin.

"Hey! That hu-"

"What the f*ck are you trying to do?!" she hissed, carefully keeping her voice low.

"What am I doing?! What are you doing?!" he hissed back. "That guy needs his journals to defeat the shapeshifter! And you have one of them!"

"Wendle, he isn't who you think he is! For all we know he could be the creature!"

That made the redhead pause. He looked back at the man, a seed of doubt planted in his head.

Soos and Mabel ran into the lab panting.

"Wendle?!" the handyman called out. "Oh, it's so dark! How will we ever find them?"

"Leave that to Mabel!" she pressed the light bulb on her sweater and it lit up.

"Whoa, rad! Although, isn't electric clothing kinda like a fire hazard?"

"No. It's a fun hazard. Now let me light the way!" she ran down one of the tunnels, the man following.

"We're coming for you, dudes!"

Baron was muttering to himself as the two sat on the ground. Wendle idly picked up a can of beans, inhaling sharply.

"Dipper! Look!" he showed her the can with the picture of the man on it. They made eye-contact and nodded. They stood up silently and backed away, trying to make as little noise as possible. Unfortunately, they hit one of the cans that laid around.

'Baron' stood up. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Toilet." answered sharply Maison, daring him to make a sudden move.

He chuckled. "My girl," he blinked sideways, voice deepening, "We both know that's not where you're going."

The two took off running with 'Baron' going after them in his true form. The duo reached a fork in the tunnels. Thinking quickly, Maison threw her flashlight down one end and ran with Wendle down the other end. They crashed into Soos and Mabel, who greeted them excitedly.

Maison backed away with the teen. "How do we know they're not the shapeshifter?"

"Maybe I am!" Soos lifted his shirt. "Mabel, inspect my shape!" she poked him and he laughed. "Do that again!" she did it again.

"It's definitely them." Maison said, her face then twisted into anger and she marched up to Mabel. "You!"

"Hey, sis. Look, I know you're mad but what I did was for a good cause." she waved off her sister's anger. "So, did you..." she wiggled her eyebrows, giggling.

"I will f*cking cut off your hair!" the other girl said.

"Dudes, what happened?" asked the handyman.

"We got attacked by the shapeshifter." answered the redhead, taking off his shirt and ripping off one of the sleeves, using the fabric to cover an injury. "He broke out of his cage, pretended to be someone, and wants Dipper's journal."

"What journal?" asked the brunette, looking at her twin.

The pre-teen glared back, answering in a clipped tone. "It doesn't matter. What we need to do right now is stop him from escaping the tunnels."

Mabel stared at her, a frown on her lips, before looking at Wendle. "What do we do?"

"Well, he took us into his home, tricked us, and tried to destroy us." he tightened the knot on the sleeve. "I say we return the favour."

In a different tunnel, the shapeshifter returned to his 'Baron' form.

"Dipper, my girl! Come out!" it momentarily lost control. "I must speak with you!" it turned into a creature with six legs, claws, and a one-eyed head resembling a hand. "REVEAL YOURSELF, YOU SINGLE-FORMED HUMAN WEAKLING!" it slammed its head onto the ground.

"And here I thought you couldn't get any more ugly." it looked up to see her leaning on one of the tunnel walls, a sneer on her face.

"Looking for this?" she held out the journal.

"There you are! Say, I've been working on my form. Care to see?" it turned into her. She stared, swallowing thickly as she didn't see a flaw in its form. "Do you like it? I'm sure the people outside of this bunker will also like it."

"I'm not letting you out of here." she thanked whatever god there was that her voice didn't quiver.

It smirked. "Who said I needed your permission?" it changed into a six-legged creature, keeping her form but adding a mouth that went down the torso.

She turned and ran, the monster following.

Turning a corner, Maison screamed, "He's coming! NOW!"

Wendle and Soos turned the valve of a large pipe, growing desperate when nothing happened.

"It's not working, dude!"

The shapeshifter caught up and grabbed the journal with his tongue.

"LET GO, YOU BAG OF HORSE sh*t!"

The redhead quickly came to her aid, pulling the book back. "You leave her alone!"

Three things happened next.

Maison was suddenly on the ground, the journal and teen nowhere near her.

The creature had the journal and Wendle was about to cut the shape shifter's tongue.

Soos successfully turned the valve and a strong stream of water burst from the pipe.

Maison gasped, coughing up the water she had unintentionally swallowed. She looked around, finding Soos and Mabel but not Wendle, only his axe.

"No..." she followed the tunnel, hoping that he was still alive.

She found him laying on the ground.

"Wendle!" she shook him. "Can you hear me? Oh, please be okay, please be okay! f*ck!" when he didn't respond her eyes watered. "Please wake up, Wendle, please!"she cried."If I had just told you what Mabel wanted me to say, even if it wasn't true, we wouldn't be in this mess. Oh, Wendle, I'm so sorry."

"Uh, Dipper?"

She turned.

Wendle was standing a few feet away, alive and holding the journal.

"Wendle? Then who's...?"

The shifter got up, growled, and attacked the teen. "Give me back that journal!" it said in Wendle's voice.

"Never!"

The two fought over the book, moving around so much that it was impossible to know who was who. The girl took out the gun with shaky hands and aimed.

"Give it back; it belongs to Dipper!" one of them said, he looked at her, surprised to see the gun, and said, "Shoot him!"

"Don't listen to him, Dipper!"

"He's the shapeshifter!"

She stared.

Her time was running out, the real Wendle would soon tire and the creature would get the journal. She needed to shoot, but who? If only she knew.

"Shoot him!"

"No, shoot him!"

Her breath quickened.

She needed time to think.

"Dipper!"

"Dipper!"

I need time.

She opened her eyes to a black and white world.

"What-"the two Wendles were frozen, holding onto the journal, mouths opened. Maison lowered the gun.

This was the Mindscape.

She was in the Mindscape.

"Hello?"

No answer.

The girl looked around. She was alone.

"I did this?"

She smiled, a laugh bubbling out.

"I did this. I did this!"

The girl turned her attention to the other two.

She exhaled. "I can do this." lightly grabbing one of them, she concentrated.

Show me who you are.

A door appeared, an open bag of ice on it.

"Weird symbol, but ok."

She opened the door.

Maison was in a forest, Wendle and his friends a few feet away daring Thompson to do something. Looking around, she saw that trees weren't the only thing that existed here. There was a road, and on the other side was a party version of the town, though not as extreme as Mable's.

"Dipper!" she looked back to see the teen himself waving. "We've got a monster truck full of fireworks, fake IDs, and pranking supplies."

"Wanna drive this truck to the high school and glue this plunger to the principal's head?" asked Natalia.

She smiled, definitely the real Wendle. "No, thanks. Some other time!"

They waved goodbye and got in the monster truck. Screaming as they drove away.

The girl exited the world.

She aimed the gun at the shifter and paused, biting her lip.

"You're going to die anyway, so I might as well." she grabbed it and a metal door appeared.

The first thing that caught her attention when she entered the creature's mind was that there wasn't a 'common ground'. There wasn't anything like Mable's cartoon town, Stan's shack, or Wendle's forest. It was just the tunnels, and the memories attached to them.

"This is a puppy." a man wearing a surgical mask said, showing a picture of the animal to a maggot-like creature. The creature transformed into the animal, wagging its tail happily. "This is a sea urchin."the same result.

Maison watched, slightly breathtaken. "Great uncle Ford?" she whispered. She tried to touch him but stopped herself.

Observe, don't interact.

The scene changed. The creature was bigger now, able to speak.

"Who am I?" itasked.

Great uncle Ford evaded the question.

Another memory appeared.

She was in the observation room. The girl was surprised to see a new- no... different face. She stared, trying to remember where she had seen that man. He had a large, pink nose, blue eyes, and long brown hair. She didn't have to think long when her uncle entered, telling him that he had left the journal in the cryonics room. The man darted off, and the moment he stepped inside the cryonics tube, the door closed, trapping him inside. He screamed, revealing his true form.

"The shifter." she whispered.

The memories repeated themselves.

She left.

Maison took back the journal and levitated the teen away from the creature. She stared at it.

"You shouldn't be left alive."

She aimed the gun, closed her eyes, and pulled the trigger.

The resonating bang was loud.

She turned and walked away, eyes firmly shut, not daring to open them until there was a distance between her and...

Only when she touched Wendle did she open her eyes.

Inhaling shakily, the girl set out to find her other two companions, quickly wiping away any tear that ran down her cheek.

It took some hard work but she was able to levitate them all back into the bunker.

Now came the hard part.

How do I exit the Mindscape?

Logically, she needed to do the opposite of what was done when she entered it. But that only worked when she knewwhat she had done to enter it.

"Calm down, don't freak out." she told herself. "I can always summon Glaucia for help." she wouldn't admit that the thought of calling her sister for help was calming. "Ok, when I entered I wanted some time to think. So that means that if I wish time to start again, it would?" she asked the frozen figures. "No offence, but you guys are a lot more helpful when frozen."

Focus, Maison, focus. I don't need time anymore.

Nothing happened.

I said: I don't need time anymore.

She tapped a beat on her thigh.

"Once more."

I'm done, let time start again.

The girl let out a groan of frustration when her eyes were met with the colourless world.

"This is getting me nowhere. I need Glaucia."

"You sure do."

Maison yelped. She lifted the gun and turned, then lowered it.

"Don't do that!"

Her sister laughed. "Sorry, sorry." she looked around, making a pleased sound. "You entered the Mindscape? All on your own?"

"Yeah, but I don't know how to exit it. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Glaucia stared at her. "No reason." she turned to examine the room, waving her hand at her direction. "The bunker, eh? Haven't been here in decades."

It was Maison's turn to stare. "Glaucia... how old are you?"

The older woman opened her mouth, then closed it, blinking. "I'm... I..." she blinked some more, her mouth moving but not a sound left. "Why are you here? And with them." she jutted her jaw towards the trio.

Maison's brows furrowed at the dodged question. "Peter told me about great uncle Ford's bunker and suggested that I explore it. You didn't answer my question."

"And how did the expedition go?" Glaucia examined a briefcase.

"You're dodging my question, Glaucia."

"So are you mine, Maison."

"How old are you, sister?"

"How did the expedition go, little sister?"

"Glaucia."

"Maison."

The two had a stare-off, neither backing off.

Finally, Maison relented.

"I need your help getting out of the Mindscape, sister."

The ravenette smiled, it was a touch relieved. "Of course. Here." she gave the girl the briefcase. "You'll need this. Goodbye." she snapped her fingers and colour flooded back into the world.

"Dipper! How did we get back here? And what happened to the shapeshifter?" asked Wendle.

Maison inwardly cursed.Should have asked her to fabricate some memories to explain the change in location.

She did the next best thing: Playing dumb. "Don't you remember?" she laced her voice with concern. "We froze the creature and got out. Your mind must have forgotten. I've read that brains sometimes erase traumatic events."

He stared and nodded after a moment. "Yeah, I-I remember now." he swallowed. "Let's get out of here."

They exited the bunker and the tree returned to its default position.

"Hey, who wants to get some heroes' breakfast, huh?" asked Soos.

"Syrup on cereal!" said Mabel.

"Mabel, you're a visionary!"

The two ran ahead.

"Hey, Dipper. What did Mabel want you to tell me before?" the redhead asked.

Why thank you for reminding me.

"Nothing important. Mabel's just been eating raw sugar packets again, and you know how those affect her."

As she stood over the sleeping girl, Maison idly though of the resonating scream that would be heard the following morning when Mabel saw her brown locks on the bedsheets. She thought of how disappointed and scared Stan would be when he grounds her - something they both knew that she wouldn't follow - and the proud teeth filled grin Peter would give her and one she would return as Liam looked at her in disappointment and understanding when they found out. But that was in the future - the near future - and this was the now, and Mabel needed a haircut. After all, even if it meant that their relationship would degrade, Mabel needed to learn that there are consequences to her actions.

Really, Mabel shouldn't be that mad at her. She only donated only half of those ghastly sweaters the brunette owned.

Miles away, a car drove down a road that lead to Gravity Fall, Oregan. Inside it were Peter Hunters and a dark-skinned young-looking man with blue and black hair that covered one of his eyes.

"You're playing her like a fiddle, Peter." the man told his acquaintance.

"I'm not playing her like a fiddle. It's more like... she's a student learning to play the piano and I'm the teacher - paid by his student's sister - giving her lessons and music sheets and maintaining the instrument. Slowly the music sheets change until she is playing what is expected of her."

"What you expect her to play, or what she expects her to play?"

The brunette snorted. "The only thing Glaucia wants is for her little sister to enjoy the piano, and if along the way she learns to play some of her older sister's favourite songs, then who is she to blame?"

They were silent for a moment.

"You said that she has an enemy? So soon?"

Peter nodded grimly. "Yes. Someone raised the dead on the after-party."

"...Is she ready?"

"No, of course not. Liam needs your help before he can start-"

"No." he cut off the younger man. "I mean, has she done it yet?"

"...No, she still hasn't killed anyone."

"Then how will she fight her enemies?"

"I will do it for her." his hands tightened their hold on the steering wheel.

The other huffed. "You can't always do her dirty work, Hunters."

"Only for this summer." he promised.

The man's lips thinned. "And what if the enemy is your family? Then what?"

Peter laughed. "William, please, I already killed my parents and Lillia once, and I won't hesitate to kill them a second time."

Chapter 25: Golf War

Chapter Text

"Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em." Stan asked, standing in front of Maison's room. When he didn't receive an answer he sighed, "Look, kid. I know that the last couple of days have been hard on you with this whole enemy thing, and whatever happened yesterday to make you cut off Mabel's hair, it's understandable that you would want some time alone, but don't isolate yourself. I know I'm not the best person you'd want to talk to about these sort of things and I get it. Wolf Family stuff and all. What I'm trying to say is that I'll always have your back, no matter what." he stared at the door and heard it unlock, the girl's pale and clammy face poking out.

"Thanks, Grunkle Stan." she smiled weakly. "I'd like to have some of those pancakes, please."

"Of course." he handed her the plate. "Peter called. He said that you can start today at noon."

"...Aren't I grounded?"

He smiled sardonically. "We both know that wouldn't stop you." Maison nodded, closing the door only for Stan to put his foot in the way. "...Soos, Mabel and I will be at he Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt."

"Why?"

"Northwest bought her way to the front page of the newspaper, which was where Mabel's article about summer fashion tips for squirrels was supposed to be."

"I'm sorry - fashion tips for squirrels?"

"It's Mabel." he shrugged. "Anyway, this will be a pick-me-up for her." he rubbed his neck, suddenly akward. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah. No problem." she thought for a moment. "I think I'm going to spend the night at Peter's."

The elder tensed. "Ok. Have fun... And be careful."

She gave him a tired smile. "Of course, Stan."

"Ahh, mini-golf! The sport of mini champions!" the now short haired girl said once she and the two men entered the golf course.

"The grass is fake, but the fun is real! There's something here for everyone!" the handyman said.

"Well, if it isn't the the Mystery Shack crew. How are you?" Lillia and Christina walked up to them.

"Nice haircut." the brunette complemented.

Mabel laughed akwardly, caressing one of the locks. "Thanks."

"We're here to get our butts kicked by Mabel as a way to cheer her up after Pacifica stole her front page in the newspaper." Soos answered.

"Pacifica stole the first page?" the blonde's eyebrows rose.

"Yeah, my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels was supposed to be there."

The teen girls shared a look, wisely keeping silent at that.

"Well," started Christina, "How about we see your mini-golf skills?"

The girl brightened. "Sure!"

"Maison, Liam, I would like you to meet William Cipher." Peter introduced. "William, this is the Yellow Wolf Maison, and her squier Liam Murik."

"Pleasure to meet you, Maison, Liam. Call me Will." they shook hands. "Now, Peter tells me that you need help entering the Mindscape?"

Maison sucked in a breath. "About that..."

The group stood at a dragon themed hole. Christina was up first. She hit the ball with her club, sending it over the bridge and nearly reached the drangon's maw, only for it to roll back because of the elevated ground.

"Pity."

"Don't worry, Chrisy! Try hitting it harder next time." Mabel said, moving to stand next to her golf ball. "Do the hip wiggle, and eh." she wiggled her hips and hit the ball. It went through the dragon, hitting Old Man McGucket who was sleeping on the course in the nose, and went in the hole.

"Wha? How'd I get here?" the kook asked, awakened by the hit.

"Yes!" cheered the girl, her friends congratulating her.

"Holy smokes! Someone in our family actually has talent!" Stan said.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, grunkle Stan!"

The atmosphere in the living room was heavy.

Maison watched the three adults, waiting for the verdict.

Liam was still processing what they were told.

William's brows were furrowed, trying to figure out the best course of action to take.

And Peter...

Peter Hunters' expression was closed off, a guarded look in his eyes.

"...What now?"

A crowd had formed around the Dutch themed 18ᵗʰ hole, watching the brunette ready herself for a swing.

"Come on, Mable. You can do it!" said the blonde teen.

The girl exhaled and hit the golf ball with her club, and she nearly scored, but missed and it rolled into a puddle. "Aw, nuts!" she threw her club. The crowd left dejectedly.

"Don't worry about it. The thing's random!" said the policewoman.

"Yeah, besides the Bermuda triangle, how mini-golf works is our world's greatest mystery." said Soos.

"As far as I'm concerned, you're still better than anyone else inGravity-"

A ball went in the 18ᵗʰ hole.

"Oh, would you look at that? I didn't know it was 'hobos golf-free' day!" Pacifica said, nestled between her parents.

"Pacifica!" hissed the brunette.

"Well, if it isn't the Pines family and their tagalongs!" the rich girl said. "Fat, old, braces, dog, bimbo!" her eyes flittered around. "Where's the other one?"

"Not here." answered foully Lillia.

The blonde shrugged, slightly disappointed.

"I got this." Mabel said. "Hey, Pacifica! How's the whole 'your family being a frauds' thing working out for you?"

"Great, actually! That's the thing about money! It makes problems go away!"

"Well it can't buy you skill! You walked into the game of a mini-golf champion!"

"Ha! Sergei!" the blonde snapped her fingers and a man walked forward. Sergei had a lanky, albeit athletic, build, a rectangular head with long brown hair, a square mustache, small eyes, a square nose and a cleft chin. He was wearing a red sweatband, a red v-neck shirt with gold stripes on the sleeves, gold shorts and black and white tennis shoes with ankle-high white socks. "This is Sergei, my trainer."

"The Sportylmpics had mini-golf once. I took gold!" he showed them his gold medal.

"So if you don't mind moving out of the way of the professionals." she went over to the volcano themed bonus hole and stuck, scoring a hole-in-one and causing an eruption from the volcano. Mabel watched slack-jawed, hair whipping around. Pacifica took off her golf glove, handing it off to her trainer. "Enjoy second place. Give her a hand, folks!" the crowd applauded as she walked away.

"Oh, yeah? Well... I want a rematch, you... you WALKING ONE-DIMENSIONAL BLEACHED BLONDE VALLEY GIRL STEREOTYPE!" Mabel said.

The crowd gasped and Pacifica snapped shut her compact mirror. "Like, let's do this."

The sky clouded over as they got in each other's face, glaring.

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Honk honk!" an employee drove his golf cart in a lamp post. He rammed into it several times until he finaly backed up enough and turned. "Stop at once! The park is now closed due to weather! The King of Mini-golf has spoken!" he drove in reverse, hit the post once more and overturned. "Ahh! The king is down!"

"This isn't over." Pacifica said menacingly. "You, me, midnight. We'll see who's best!"

"I'll be here!" promised the brunette.

Lightning flashed and it started to rain. The Northwests whipped out their umbrellas and walked away with Sergei running behind them.

"I'llbe here!" she repeated.

Maison had her eyes shut, breathing in the incense that that Peter had lit in order to help her relax.

"Walk me through what you had done when you first entered the Mindscape on your own." William said. They were in the living room, the couch moved to the side in order to give them more room to meditate. The rain hitting the windows was calming any worry she had.

"I was in the bunker's destroyed laboratory with Wendle and-" she swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat, "... and the shape shifter."

The demon nodded. "What happened?"

"I-... I'm not sure. The shifter had transformed into Wendle and they were fighting over the journal, screaming at me to shoot the other and I couldn't because I didn't know who was who andtimewasrunningoutandIneededtime-"

"Yellow!"Maison's breath hitched at the title. "Calm down. Take a deep breath" she followed his order, eyes still shut. "and exhale. You entered the Mindscape because you needed time?"

She nodded. "Yeah, at least that's what I think I did. I remember squeezing my eyes shut and thinking 'I need time'. When I opened them everything was black and white and frozen in time."

"...What about when you exit? Did you try doing it yourself?"

"I did but it didn't work so I called Glaucia. We talked for a bit and she helped me exit."

"And she gave you the briefcase. Did she say why?"

"No, only that I would need it."

"I see." Will glanced to the kitchen where the object laid on the counter with Peter staring it, his hands lightly shaking.

The group had taken refuge from the rain at theHermanos Brothers Diner.

Mabel nibbled on some nachos, sighing in defeat. "Time to scratch mini-golf off my talents list."

"Aw, don't give up, Mabel." said Soos, placing down his tray.

"Yeah! If you beat her at this, she can never rag on you again." said Lillia. "Imagine it!"

*Mabel's Imagination*

She was looking around in a clothing store when Pacifica said, "Um, the section for ugly grandma clothes is over there." she pointed to the side.

"Oh yeah? Well the section for people who lost at mini-golf is OVER THERE!" Mabel pointed to the exit.

Suddenly, Xyler and Craz burst through the door in paramedic clothes, wheeling a gurney.

"We came as fast as we could!" the blonde said.

"We heard a little girl got seriously burned!"

"Ohhhh!"

"I'm ruined!" said the mortified rich girl.

"Up top!" Xyler and Mabel high-fived.

The short haired girl stood up on the table. "You're right, guys. I just need to practice a little more before midnight."

"Go to the golf course after dark, you say?" Stan feigned uncertainty. "I don't know, we'd have to break in and - Just kidding let's break in!"

"Chrisy?" Lillia turned to her best friend, finding her texting.

"Didn't hear anything."

Peter's phone pinged.

Stan's car drove through the toll. Soos and Christina kept watch while Stan pulled nails out of the fence. He removed a panel. Mabel handed him her sticker book and she and the teens prepared to go through the hole. Just as it was her turn to go through, her grunkle stopped her.

"Oh, and hey, Mabel?" he stuck a golden trophy sticker with the words 'U DA BEST' on her sweater. "Knock her dead, kid."

She gave him a thumbs-up and went inside.

The brunette practiced at the windmill, hitting a golf ball, which went into the window, and came to rest beside dozens of others not in the hole. "Darn! sh*t, hell, darn!"

"Language!" snapped Lillia. "You're starting to sound like my brother."

The girl sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just-! This hole is a lot harder than I expected."

"Don't worry. You're the best mini golfer in this town, I'm sure you'll be able to beat it."

"Did you hear that?" Christina asked.

"What? What is it?"

She eyed the windmill, whispering, "Grab your club."

They stalked forward and removed the back panel. Whatever they were expecting, it certainly wasn't a village of small humanoids whose heads resembled golf balls. When the small villagers noticed the girls they gasped and screamed, which made the girls scream. After screaming for a bit, they quieted down.

One of them, a male with a blue golf ball head, asked, "We good? We good?" the girls nodded and he continued. "All right then! Hi, hello. I'm Franz, and welcome to our home!"

"What on earth is this?" asked the blonde.

"Are you guys tiny humans, or enormous mini-humans?" asked the pre-teen.

Franz laughed. "Neither. We're Lilliputtians! Lilli- Lilliputt... the name makes more sense written down than spoken. And we control the balls! Behold!" the side of the windmill opened, revealing a complex Rube Goldberg-ian convey system, with Lilliputtians turning cranks, pulling levers, and pushing turnstiles. A golf ball rolled out of the windmill into the hole.

"That's incredible!"

"Aw shucks. It's only our life-long passion. Would you like us to elaborate through song?" the lilliputtians gathered in preparation.

"No, thank you." quickly shot them down the policewoman. The gathered crowd dispersed in disappointment.

"So what are you hugelings doing here anyway?" the leading dutch lilliputtian asked.

"I kind of have to play this golf tournament against my rival, Pacifica."

The miniature people gasped and muttered.

"Oh, we know all about rivals."

"Put a clog in it, ya windmill-lubbers!" the pirate ship lit up, the pirate lilliputtians looking over the deck. "These frilly bottom popinjays are terrible at controllin' the balls!" the captain drew his sword. "Weare the ball masters, says I! Argh!"

"Shut your mouths, you show-boating pirates!" the Eiffel Tower lit up. "Everyone knows ze Eiffel Tower hole is ze best!"

"Stay you comments, ye churlish Frenchmen!" a knight lilliputtian removed his helmet, shaking his hair. "None control the balls better than the knights of—" he noticed graffittti on the castle's side. "Wiener Castle? Who wrote this?"

"We'll settle which hole is best! Attack!" Franz ordered and, armed with golf pencils, the dutch lilliputtians charged.

"Ooh, I'm shiverin' in me timbers!" the pirate said sarcastically. "Get them!"

"Long live the mini king!" the knight said.

The lilliputtians collided and fought in front of the girls.

"Die, medieval scum!" one of the dutch said to the knight. They jumped at each other, collided and fell on their heads. The head pirate swung at a frenchman and fell into the lake. A duck picked up a dutchman and swallowed him.

"Hey, hey! People - lilliputtians - whatever, calm down!" Lillia called out, carefully lifting her feet.

"Your fighting is inadvertently adorable!" said the young brunette.

"Adorable we are, hugeling, but our tale less so." Frazn, already bruised and battered in the short amount of time he had been fighting, answered. "Every hole in the park thinks they're superior, from the cowboys in the east to the grimy miners of the south. If only there was some way to decide which side is best, with... maybe... an award, or, like a trophy, I dunno."

A frenchman ran up to his enemy. "But Franz, look!" he pointed to the sticker on the girl's sweater.

"The sticker. The sticker could decide!"

"It does say 'Ze best' on it!"

"Decide for us, hugeling! Choose which mini-kingdom to give a sticker to, and end our war!" the knight said. The lilliputtians cheered.

"Uh, I don't know, guys. I'm not sure I wanna get involved in your weird mini-blood feud."

"Excuse us for a moment." Lillia grabbed the girl's arm and lead her away from the small humanoids. When they were an adequate distance away, she turned to her. "Mabel, this is perfect! These guys control the course and can help you win in exchange for the sticker!"

She twisted a lock. "I'm not sure. I wanna beat Pacifica, but doesn't this seem like... cheating?"

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Please, people cheat all the time. Be it on a test, relationship or in a sport. You won't be the first, nor will you be the last."

Mabel looked down at her shoes, her smile replaced with a frown.

"So?" her brown eyes met blue. "Will you do it?"

Hesitantly, the pre-teen nodded. Lillia smiled and gave Christina a thumbs up. She nodded and adressed the lilliputtians. "People of the eighteen holes! We're going to have a game of mini-golf, and whoever does the best job helping Mabel win, gets the sticker!"

"It'll be us, lass. Not these tulip-munchers!" the captain said.

"I will not be insulted by a man with no depth perception wearing earrings!" said Franz.

"As long as you're helpig Mabel there will be no fighting against each other. Are we clear?"

The lilliputtians smiled innocently.

Back in the parking lot, Stan and Soos were waiting in the car.

"Dude, I'm cuttin' Ws into all my shirts. Gotta give the public what they want." Soos said, snipping away with his scissors. After he was done with the shirts he had taken with him, he took off his shirt to work on its neck.

"Well, those kids are taking their time." the older man commented. "Looks like it's gonna be a while." he turned on the radio and leaned back in his seat, sighing. He closed his eyes, then looked over at Soos, who, still shirtless, had reclined next to him.

"Sure are a lot of stars out tonight..."

"Well, this is gettin' weird." he sat up and left the car.

Nearby, the Northwest car pulled up.

"But now remember, Pacifica, winning is everything." Preston told his daughter.

"Oh, oh, and also looks. Winning and looks." her mother added, looking at herself in a hand mirror.

"Dad, I've been practicing for, like, a million hours, okay? I've got this. You'll stay and watch, right?"

"Pacifica, darling, we have a party to go to. We'll just read about your victory in the paper."

She got out of the car and snapped her fingers. "Sergei!" the man climbed out of the truck and got the luggage.

"Oh, and whatever happens, just remember one thing. You're a Northwest. Don't lose." Preston slamed the door closed and the car drove away.

The two entered the mini golf course.

"How much you wanna bet they're no-shows?" Pacifica asked her trainer.

A succession of lights flashed on, revealing Mabel and the teens.

"Looking for someone?" the girl asked.

"Waiting in the dark, not creepy at all." Pacifica commented sarcastically. She glanced around, once again disappointed when she didn't see her rival's sister. "Seriously though, I don't know why you bothered to come. Unless you've got something up your sleeve."

"Oh, I guess you could say we've got alittle something." she winked at her friends.

Sergei took the lead as the judge. "Eighteen holes. Standard rules. Winner lives in glory, loser wallows in eternal shame. On your mark, get set, mini-golf!" he fired a starter pistol.

First was the cowboy hole. Pacifica putt and the lilliputtians blocked her ball with a covered wagon. Mabel putt and the cowboys raised the grass to move her ball towards the hole. When it stopped centimeters away from the hole a cowboy shot it, and it went in.

"What?!" Picifica clenched her jaw as the group left for the next hole. Mabel gave a thumbs-up, and the cowboys returned the gesture before turning to mock the pirates.

Eighth was the pirate's hole. Mabel putt, and the pirates shoot her ball out of a cannon into the hole.

"Out of my way!" Pacifica pushed the girl away, angered that she had yet to score a hole-in-one. She putt and her ball was shot out of the front, hitting her on the mouth. "Are you serious?!" she hissed.

The pirates cheered and celebrated by drinking root beer.

The fourteenth hole was the miners'. Mabel putt and the ball went down the mine.

"Wonder what's happening in there." lightly mused Christina.

The ball rolled down a chute and two miners prepared to cart it into the mine.

"Stop! You can't go in there!" a lilliputtian stopped them. "There's been a gas leak! Anyone who goes in there will DIE!"

The gathered miners murmured, looking scared.

"I'll take it." a larger than average lilliputtian said, stepping forward.

"Noooo!" a child ran up to the miner, tears streaming down her cheecks. "Don't go, Big Henry! We need you!" she begged.

"Go home, Polly." he told her. Big Henry pushed the cart into the mine, leaving the others staring after him. Sweating and breathing heavily, he trudged on through the seeping gas.

Outside, the group was waiting silently for the ball to reemerge. Pacifica checked her watch.

The teens shared a look.

"Do you think it's stuck?"

The other shrugged.

Big Henry slapped himself. "Come on, Big Henry. You can do this." he reached the end of the track and, struggling, pushed the button to send up the ball. He collapsed beside the track, gasping, and pulled out a drawing of him and Polly. His eyes filled with tears, smiled, and with a groan of satisfaction he died peacefully.

The ball rolled out of the mine and into the hole.

"What?!" Pacifica threw her club and the man caught it. "Sergei! Soda! Now!" the two left.

Once they were out of sighed, the girls lifted the lid of the mine hole.

"Okay, guys? That was bedonkulous!" said the short haired brunette.

"Nice job, guys, but what was that hold up?" asked the blonde.

The miners looked around each other and took off their hard hats. "There was a gas leak." a miner sniffed. "Big Henry volunteered to cart the ball out."

The girls shared horrified expresions. "Our condolences."

The miner gave them a shaky smile. "Anything to show that our hole is the best."

"Yeah." Christina coughed. "We should get going. The faster we finish this, the faster a winner will be chosen."

"There's something going on, Sergei. I can feel it." Pacifica told her trainer, grabbing the offered fizzy drink.

"Maybe they have little people who control where the balls go." he offered.

"Hoo, we gotta get you English lessons. I mean, think about it. I'm globally ranked. It's ridiculous that she's beating me." she drank the soda and spit out a pit. "Ugh,Pitt Cola! I always forget about the pit. Get me a different one, Sergei." someone tapped her on the shoulder. While Sergei had his back turned to his student, she was grabbed and dragged through the bush, screaming.

He turned, not seeing the girl. "This is bad."

"So we all agree to ignore what those miners told us for the time being, right?" Lillia asked.

"Yup." readily agreed the policewoman.

Mabel didn't answer. Instead she asked, "Is it bad that I feel good about Pacifica feeling bad?"

"No, of course not." told her the blonde. "She's a bad person who deserves for things to not go her way." they heard a scream.

Lights turned on to reveal the aforementioned girl tied down in front of the windmill by the dutch lilliputtians. "What's going on here? Let me go!"

"Welcome, girls, welcome!" greeted them Franz. "I can tell you're loving this, right, right? No?"

"What are you guys doing?" asked the pre-teen.

"This wasn't part of the deal!" said Christina.

"Okay, so we saw you were favoring the miners, and we figured, what's better than beating Pacifica?" he blew a raspberry. "Killing her, right?"

"As if!" called ut the tied girl. "I'm calling my parents. Where's my phone?" she looked around and found that it was being used by the lilliputtians. "Hey, hey!"

"So how about it, hugeling? Who's the best now?" asked Franz.

"Not so fast land lubbers!" the pirates revealed that they had captured Sergei. "If you're going to play dirty, so are we. Now give us the sticker, or he walks the plank!"

"No! Give us ze sticker!" yelled the french.

"The miners! Give it to the miners!"

The lilliputtians all clamored, pressuring Mabel, until she screamed, "ENOUGH!" surprising them all. "You know what?No one gets the sticker!" the humanoids tried to boo but she said, "No, no. Nuh-uh. No booing- stop, no! No one gets the sticker cuz you're all being jerks! I mean, why can't you all just get along?"

"Because we hate each other." one of the dutch said.

"That's kind of how rivalries work, lass." the captain agreed.

"Well then, maybe... maybe rivalries are dumb." she looked at Pacifica. "Maybe you don't settle them with petty competitions. Maybe the only way to be 'da best' is by ending the fighting and working together!" she ripped off the sticker and ate it.

"...You could have just thrown it away!" said Christina.

The lilliputtians gasped and conversed.

"It's all so clear."

"If we work together..."

"Then we can cut open her belly and get the sticker!" they cheered and rushed forward.

"Get ze girl! Slice her open!"

"Uh, you guys aren't appreciating the lesson here!" the girls huddled.

A lever was pulled near Pacifica causing her to be pulled towards the whirring blades of the windmill. She screamed.

"We gotta get out of here!" yelled Lillia.

"We're not leaving Pacifica!" yelled back Christina. She kicked away the lilliputtians, making her way towards the screaming girl. She ripped the ropes off, helping the girl up. "Get Sergei and let's jet!"

Lillia helped the older man off of the pirate ship.

"We have you at miniature pencil point! There's no way around us!" said the pirate, then screamed when he putted by Mabel.

"You ready to putt?" she asked the blonde.

"Way ahead of you." she grabbed her club and swung at the lilliputtians. The two were back-to-back, swinging their clubs as Christina kicked. "You know, you're actually not that terrible. A little rusty, but-"

"Just shut up and putt!"

Lillia and Sergei showed up in a golf cart. "Get on, get on!"

"Gun it!" they drove away.

"Don't let them escape!" yelled the pirate.

The golf cart headed for the exit, barely making it through a pair of swinging axes on an arch. They went around a loop-de-loop and Sergei nearly fell off.

"Hold on tight!" barked Christina.

Ahead of them, the lilliputtians were closing the exit gates. "They're shutting us in!" yelled the older blonde.

A lilliputtian poked holes through the cart and Mabel climbed on the roof, coming face-to-face with Franz. "Don't even think about it." he told her. "You call yourself a golfer? Without us, that club is useless in your hands!"

"Oh yeah? What's ten minus six?"

"Ten minu- what- hang on..."

"Four!" she hit Franz into the bonus hole. It glowed and shot up a column of lava, which the golf cart rode on. They skidded through the gates and stopped in the parking lot, where the cart fell apart. Pencils and an axe poked through the gate.

"Stay out, you dumb hugelings!" caqme Franz's muffled yell, accompanied by a few tossed over the gate golf balls.

"What did you say, you little trolls? I will sue you! I will sue you and I will own you!" Pacifica punched the gate, panting, before turning to the girls. "You three! I don't know what you did or what's going on, but if you think just because you saved my life I—"

Mabel handed her a sticker that says 'I a-paw-logize', stopping her rant. "I'm sorry, Pacifica. I shouldn't have cheated. You totally would have beat me, fair and square."

The girl frowned and stuck the sticker on her shirt. "You're just lucky this sticker looks fantastic on me."

Stan and Soos pulled up. Christina, Lillia and Mabel got in, looking at Pacifica and Sergei standing alone in the parking lot. Mabel looked at her friends. Lillia shook her head while Christina nodded hers.

"Hey! Your parents aren't here. Want a ride home?"

"Ugh, please. As if I'd ride in your—"

Lightning flashed and thunder was heard. The two begrudgingly accepted the offer. They barely managed to fit inside, Christina having to sit in her friend's lap and even then they were like sardines in a can.

"Hey, I found two tacos!" Mabel exclaimed, eating one.

"You're allowed to eat in the car?" asked the other pre-teen.

"Yeah! The car is where secret surprise snacks happen! Want one?"

"Oh, I'm not supposed to take handouts." she said. Lillia rolled her eyes and got pinched.

"Handouts? It's called sharing! You do know what sharing is, right?"

"Sha-shaawing?" tried to pronounce the rich girl.

"Just take it."

They pulled to Pacifica's house, and she and Sergei got out.

"Thanks for the ride, or whatever. Oh, and Mabel? Um, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I had fun. And tell your servant I like his W-neck!"

"Yes!" Soos fist pumped, his shirt's flap falling down.

"So are you guys are on friendly terms now?" asked the policewoman.

"I think we made some progress. The important thing to remember is that at the end of the day, she's just an ordinary kid like me." the gates swung open to reveal the Northwest mansion, complete with fountains and peaco*cks. Fireworks went off and a banner that said 'CONGRATULATIONS PACIFICA' was lit up.

"Rich bitch." snorted Lillia and got an elbow jabbed at her side.

Christina closed and locked the front door. She leaned against it and slid down, breathing heavily. After a moment she fished out her phone and dialed a number. After three rings it was picked up.

"Hey," she swallowed. "I've got some information."

Chapter 26: Selling your soul for cheap

Chapter Text

"Thanks again for helping me, Mabel." said Christina. The two brunettes were at the Gravity Falls Library.

"It's no problem. What exactly are we looking for again?" she picked up a guide to where babies come from.

"Any book that has Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi written on the cover."

"Ohh, fancy name. Who is he?"

"A swiss pedagogue and educational reformer who exemplified Romanticism in his approach. I need to write a report on him and our teacher would know if we used Wikipedia."

"You already have homework?"

"It's more like extra credit, but for her class it might as well be mandatory."

"Don't you worry, Chrisy, there is literally nothing that can distract us from... Did you hear that?" she looked at the children's area of the library where a boy around her age was giving a puppet show. She watched him perform, enraptured by his beauty. She grabbed a book with a pop-up heart and used it. "Ba bump. Ba bump."

"Hmm? Something the matter, Mabel?" Christina looked back at her friend, finding her not searching for the required book. She followed her gaze to the young performer.

"Just when I was getting overMermando, of course, you show up at my doorstep." the girl sighed.

"Who's Mermando?" she returned to her task.

"A boy I liked very much who had to return to his family. Now he only sends me letters."

"Uh-huh. Maybe I should just ask one of the librarians for help." she turned around, the younger brunette nowhere in sight. "Mabel?"

"That's why we don't stick our hands in"the performer sang, joined in by the children on the last line."other people's mouths!"

"Hey, I'm Gabe Benson, ya'll. Good night!" he said as the parents took their kids and left. Gabe the turned to his puppets, a book and a bee. "Hey, good job today, you guys."

"You were late on your cue!" the book puppet, controlled by Gabe, said to the bee.

"WHAT?" the bee was staggered by its partner's accusation.

"Hey hey, be good to each other. We're all stars." Gabe told them.

Mabel, instead of walking up to the weirdo like a normal person, decided that the most appropriate way of getting the blonde's attention was to roll in on top of a book cart. "Hey! Guess who's Mabel! I am. Care to learn more? I bet you do. You like to learn- WAA" she fell off, knocking down a stand. She got up and walked up to the boy. "And I'm up!"

"Oh, hey, I'm Gabe. Master of puppets. Nice to meet you." he held out the bee that held out its hand for a handshake.

"You're amazing with those puppets."

"Really?" he became insecure. "A lot of people think puppets are dumb, or, just for kids or something."

"Are you kidding me? I'm puppet-CRAZY! People call me Puppet-Crazy-Mabel!"

"Really? People used to call me Puppet-Crazy-Gabe! So when's your next puppet show?"

"My huh?"

"I mean, you can't truly love puppets if you're not throwing puppet shows, right?"

"Ha, yeah, I mean I'm totallyworking on a puppet show." she lied.

"Oh, what are the details?"

"There are soooo many details..." she stalled

"Thank you." Christina told the librarian, setting down her books on the table with a sigh. She opened one on the content page, determined to finish her report, when Mabel returned. "How'd it go?"

"Chrisy,how hard do you think it'd be to write and compose a sock puppet rock opera with lights, original music and live pyrotechnics by Friday?" the young brunette asked.

"Pretty hard, I'd assume. Why?"

"I may or may not have told Gabe that I have a puppet show on Friday."

"What?" the teen turned to face her friend. "Are you serious?" at the girl's nod she gaped. "How?! How did the talk escalate to you making a play with dolls?!"

"I don't know what happened! I got lost in his eyes and his ponytails and I'm gonna be so embarrassed on Friday if I don't have anything!" she said panicking. "I need you to help me!"

"What?!" Christina quickly lowered her voice, remembering where they were. "Mabel, I can't help you. I know nothing of puppet shows and plays, and I have a report due."

"If you help me with this forjusta couple of days I promise I'll help with the report! Please, pretty please!" Mabel begged, and added, "It's for love, Chrisy."

Christina stared, arms crossed, before giving in. "Fine. But!" she quickly added. "Only for a few days." she had her breath knocked out when the pre-teen launched herself into a hug.

"YES! THANK YOU! THIS GIRL! SHE'S NUMBER ONE!"

"Okay, okay, okay, shhh..." she felt her cheeks heat up from all of the stares they were getting.

The first thing the duo did was buy a box of socks from the thrift store, then to the stationery store to get some of the supplies. They even managed to borrow somesewing machines. The two worked tirelessly, getting Soos and Wendle to help out with the scene.

Every night, Christina would return to her apartment tired, her fingers aching, and dropped dead on her bed. She would then be awoken several hours later by her alarm and get ready for her shift at the police station before going to the shack.

It was the day before the show, and the crew were adding the last details.

"Alright. This is gonna be calledGlove Story: A Sock Opera. Just to warn you, people's eyes will get wet. Cause they'll be crying. From laughter! From howtragicit is." Mabel said.

"Yeah. That sounds great." the teen said.

"Come on, Christina, you gotta roll with Mabel's craziness. It's what makes life worth living." Wendle said, using a blow drier to dry some of the puppets faster.

"Puppet boy, Puppet boy, you're the boy I-" Mabel sang, playing the electric keyboard.

"Loooooove!" they all sang, the pig squealing along.

"Not even gonna ask." said Stan from the doorway.

Christina stared at the letter.

"Dear Miss Stoilkova, we are sorry to inform you-"

She covered her face with her hands, desperately trying not to make a sound and to not let her tears loose. She hiccuped, rubbing her eyes.

What am I going to do? she asked herself.

Her ringtone brought her back to reality, no matter how cruel it was. 'Mom' the caller ID read. She inhaled, trying to calm herself somewhat before answering. "Здрасти мамо"

"Здравейте. Не те притеснявам, нали?"

"He."

"Какъв е проблема?" her mother asked.

The teen silently cursed. "Нищо, току-що се върнах от работа и съм уморенa."

"Хм. Как е работата?"

"Всичко е наред, мамо. Тук нищо не се случва. Как си? Не е ли рано у дома?" she glanced at the clock. 10PM it read. After some mental calculations she concluded that it was 8AM where her mother was.

"Не, не е. Някой да не ти прави проблем на работа?"

"Мамо. Никой не ми създава проблем, хората тук са мили." most people were. "Просто помагах на приятелка с проект и това ме изморява."

"О? Коя е тя? Познавам ли я?"

Christina rolled her eyes. "Освен ако не си приятелка с 12 годишни, които никога не са напускали страната, тогава не."

"Имаш право."

They spoke a bit longer before the teen had to go to bed. She laid there, staring at her cracked ceiling, fearing the future.

The brunette arrived at the shack, surprised to see Candy and Grenda holding boxes with the puppets as Soos and Wendle tried to put all of the scene props on top of Stan's car.

"-he script. Very emotional." said Candy to her friend.

"I cried like eight times." added Grenda.

"Good morning." she greeted and they greeted back. "What's up with-"

"Hey, ladies." someone said. She turned around and saw the performer from the library skating up to them, puppets still on his hands.

"GABE!" greeted him happily Mabel.

"Iwas just bladin' by. Helps me dry out my ponytail after a shower." he took off his helmet and shook his hair.

"Hubbity-hubbuty." Grenda said from beside her. She also heard Candy whisper something, and while she may not understand korean, it was safe to assume that it was about the attractive to the pre-teens boy that stood in front of them.

"It's so great to see you! I was just working on the world's greatest puppet show. It has puppets!" the young brunette told him.

"Your passion is so refreshing, Mabel. Unlike the girl from last night's puppet show. Single-stitch on one puppet, andcross-stitch on the other? I was like, "Uh-uh!" he told her.

Wow,she thought,is this kid obsessed with puppets or is he passionate about them?

"Naturally I deleted her off my cell phone contacts list." he said.

"Naturally." Mabel forced a laugh.

"I know you won't let me down. Based on what you said the other day, you must be a puppet expert."

"You know, Gabe, you look pretty sweaty. You should really take your shirt off." suggested Grenda. "Right? Aren't we all thinking that?" they all ignored that.

"Later, ladies." he skated off.

The moment he was out of sight, Mabel freaked out. "We gotta up our game, girls! Did you hear that thing he said about the stitches?!"

"Don't worry, Mabel, your crew can handle it!" Grenda held up a puppet of herself, the accidentally ripped its arms off.

"How many eyes does a face have again?" Candy asked, holding up a puppet covered in googly eyes.

"I got it, I got it," Soos chanted, trying to keep the mountain of props on top of the car. The ropes snapped and he and the props fell. "I'm not okay."

Dear God, they're a mess.the teen thought.

"Okay, I'm back on fabrication." the pre-teen grabbed one of the boxes and ran. "Get me my lint roller!"

"Wait, Mabel! You said you were going to help me with my essay!" said the teen.

The girl turned and said apologetically, "I know, I'm sorry, but this sock crisis just bumped up to code argyle! The essay isn't due soon, right? I really need your help on this."

The teen sighed. She glanced at the time and faced the younger brunette's begging eyes. "I can't. My shift starts in an hour and I need to get ready."

The girl nodded. "Okay." she turned to her friends. "Come on, girls! We have a play to get ready for!"

She watched them enter the shack before walking away.

When Christina arrived at the station, she was called into Blub's office.

"Christina, it's best if you sit down." he told her. She was slightly confused but had an unpleasant feeling that she knew what was happening. "It's hard for me to say this, but... we have to let you go."

"Why?" surely it was a prank.

"The higher-ups dislike that you appear to have a close relationship with Hunters."

"He's my best friend's brother!"

"I know, and I've told them that but they're adamant about your discouragement." he told her, his tone regretful. "You are to pack up your things."

She nodded, inhaling and exhaling as a way to keep the tears at bay.

This day couldn't get any worse.she thought as she gathered her things in a box.

Apparently, it could. Taped on her door was an eviction notice.

She took it and went inside.

"f*ck." she swore. "f*ck, sh*t, bitch, ass, dickwaded piece of sh*t!" she sobbed, wrinkling the paper.

"Seems you're in quite the pickle, backstabber."

Her head shot up, looking around her small apartment that had all of its colour missing. "Who's there?"

A gold triangle with a bow tie, a top hat and a gold cane appeared. "Bill Cipher, nice to meet you!"

"What do you want, Cipher?" she growled.

"Yeesh, we've barely met and you already hate me. I expected more from you, backstabber." he told her, floating around. "Nice place you got here." he stopped in front of a photo of the teen with Lillia. "She seems like a nice person. What's she doing with someone like you?"

"Get the hell out of here, you audacious, ideologically unsound, presumptuous asshole!"

"Quite the insult that was." he told her, not batting an eye. "I can help you, kid. You just need to hear out my demands."

"f*ck off. I would never make a deal with you."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself. Have fun getting the paperwork to stay in the country done, finding a new job, and paying all of your bills all on your own. From what I've seen dear mommy and daddy won't be able to help you for a while." he fiddled with a picture of her parents.

Christina looked at her table, a stack of unpaid bills and important documents laying on it.

"I'm sure that your dear friend Lillia would love to hear all of the things you've done."

She stared at the demon's back, weighting her opinions. Finally, her shoulders dropped. "What are your demands, Cipher?"

"Oh, nothing much." he floated around her. "All I want is a puppet."

"A puppet?" she questioned, eyes narrowing in distrust. "What are you playing at?"

"Everyone loves puppets. And it looks to me that you've got a surplus with the whole helping shooting star with her play to impress that freak." a few of the puppets that were left in her apartment glowed.

Christina eyed them; they were defective, too many holes and fabric worn thin, used as practice for stitches and eye placement. She met the demon's eye, holding out her hand. "Deal." they shook hands, Cipher's blue flame engulfing their hands. When he didn't immediately release her hand, alarm bells rang in her head. "What puppet are you gonna choose?"

He put his finger under his eye, as one would do when cupping their chin in thought. "Hmm, let's see. Eenie meenie mynie..." his voice got low and echoed. "YOU." before she could even react, he tugged at their joined hands, pulling her out of her body and entering it.

She floated around, transparent. "What." she tried grabbing onto the tv, her hands passing through it. "What did you do to my body?!" she screamed, turning to face him.

Cipher, in her body, stood up from where he had fallen on the couch. He opened his eyes, the usual brown replaced with yellow scleras and slitted pupils. He grinned widely at her, the expression unnerving. "Sorry, toots, but you're my puppet now!" he stumbled around, going to the bathroom where he examined himself, the teen following. "Man, it has been so long since I've inhabited a body." he slapped himself, then did it again after finding the pain pleasurable. "Pain is hilarious! And two eyes? This thing's deluxe!" he patted the face, the went lower.

"Hey!" yelled the soul. "Keep your hands off my breasts!"

"Never been in a female's body before. You females have a strange tendency to touch your breast, you know. What's that all about?"

"Aren't you supposed to be 'all-knowing' or something?" she crossed her arms, glaring at him.

"I knowlotsof things, noteverything." he turned, hit himself in the doorframe, then tripped on himself, then managed to stub himself in the table's leg before finally reaching the front door. "Now, if you'd excuse me, I have a journal to destroy!"

The brunette followed, passing through the door and walls effortlessly. "The hell you are! I'm gonna stop you and take my body back!"

He laughed loudly. "And how exactly are you gonna do that? You're in the Mindscape, kid! Without a body to possess, you're practically a ghost!"

"I'll find a way, and you'll regret ever messing with me!" she growled.

"Ha! I'd like to see you try." he crossed the road, cars abruptly stopping as to not hit him.

Christina didn't follow.

Instead, she went the other way, towards the only person capable of helping her (at least she hoped).

Christina stood in front of Peter Hunters' house. She examined the property; the grass was lush and cut, the walls were a pristine white, and not a single shingle was missing.

She idly wondered if she would ever be able to afford such a house. Maybe in the distant future, after she had graduated and found a well-paying job, she would be able to come home to her girlfriend Li-

The teen shook her head, now was not the time to daydream about an impossible future. She squared her shoulders and floated forward, only to be repelled by an unseen force. She righted herself, confused by what had occurred. "What?" she floated forward, slower this time, hand stretched out. Right where the grass started to grow on Peter's property, her hand was met with an invisible wall. She pushed, and the wall pushed back. "No. No no no nononononono!" she circled theperimeter, even going up, trying to find a crack, a wayin,but there was none. It was a solid dome."f*ck." she looked at the house, trying to see the older brunette.

There, in the living room.

She raised her fists and banged on the dome, screaming, "PETER! PETER, YOU BASTARD, HELP ME!" hoping that at least her voice would be heard (that he could hear her). Yet, no matter how much she screamed, she did not hear her. She lumped, resting her head on the wall as tears prickled her eyes. "Peter... please..."

"What thef*ckdid you do?!"

Her head snapped up to see the man glaring at her, jaw clenched, and Dipper peeking from behind him.

"Peter...!"

He stomped forward, anger - and is that worry? - burning in his eyes. "What the hell, Christina?! Why are you in the Mindscape?!"

"I-... I made a deal with Bill Cipher." oh, that was definitely worry. Since when did he feel such emotions?

"Why?"her voice failed her. He stared at her, then his eyes softened, just a tad. He sighed and asked, "Where is that dorito?"

"I don't know. He just took my body and left, saying something about destroying a journal."

(Had she been looking, she would have seen how the young brunette that was still at the door widened her eyes.)

"And nothing else?"

"No."

His face hardened again (she had always hated that expression) before turning. "Stay here, I need to grab some things before we leave to find your body."

Peter slammed the trunk of the car shut, then got behind the wheel, Christina 'sitting' on the passenger seat, and drove off.

"And you're sure that's the only thing Cipher told you?"

"The only thing of importance, yes."

The silence hung heavily between them until Peter broke it. "Why did you make a deal with him? You're not that kind of girl, Chrisy."

She gazed out the window, not answering immediately, and the man not pushing her to.

"...I got laid off work today."

He nodded, that one sentence enough.

They arrived at the shack, closed because of Mabel's play.

"Stay here." he reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a small gun. He checked that it was loaded before turning to her. "You don't mind having a bullet hole, do you?"

She gave him a sardonic smile. "Wouldn't be the first time."

He returned the smile, his more regretful.

Since when did he start to care?she asked herself.

The male left and she stayed put, closed her eyes and blocked out everything.

It took less than an hour, yet seemed like an eternity until the man returned, her body cradled in his arms. Christina examined herself; there was a hole in her shirt, outlined with red, yet there wasn't one underneath, though there was a scar. She watched him gently place her body in the back and return to the front.

"Since when do you heal?"

"...I've always been able to do that."

"Really? Because I've never seen you do it before." it came out colder than she had expected but did accurately convey the anger she was feeling. "Much less for me."

He was silent, driving down the street to her apartment. While there wasn't exactly a 'bad side' of Gravity Falls, everyone did agree that a certain area wasn't as good as the rest of the town. He parked the car, lifted up her body, and went to her apartment. The door was left unlocked, something she hadn't noticed, but thankfully no one had decided to enter while she was away. Peter laid her on the couch and sat on the coffee table. The silence returned.

"...Shedoesn't like it when I heal."

All the anger left her, leaving her feeling cold and nauseous.

"A-and yet she taught you?" she stuttered out.

He smiled mirthlessly at her. "Who saidshewas the one that taught me that?" he stood up. "There's something you've always forgotten aboutBlack, Chrisy." he paused at the door, not turning. "Herpupils were never meant to survive their training."

Peter returned moments later, carrying a large duffle bag. He set it on the floor, unzipped it, and started pulling out wads of cash. Her eyes widened as he did that.

"There, 52,500 dollars." he zipped the bag closed.

"...Why?" she stared at the money. It would definitely help her.

"Consider it as late payment for the things you've done. And if you continue on like you are, more will be coming." he stood up, grabbed the duffle bag, and turned to leave. "Oh, and leave all of the legal business to me. You've done enough." he grabbed the doorknob when the brunette spoke, stopping him in his tracks.

"It feels like I'm selling my soul to the devil."

"...Look on the bright side: you're selling it for a lot nicer price than I did mine."

Chapter 27: Soos' love quest

Chapter Text

Mabel was skipping around the gift shopwhen she accidentally bumped into the screen door, getting her braces caught in it. "Braces! Braces caught in the screen door! Someone dictate my will, I'm giving it all toWaddles!" she screamed.

Soos walked up to her, a screw driver in hand. "Say 'ah', girl-dude."

The brunette opened her mouth wide and the man pried her braces off the screen. "Soos! You saved me!"

"Heh, heh! Just doing my job, hambone." he tossed the tool into his toolbelt and walked out the door. "I'll see you dudes tomorrow."

"Bye, Soos!" the girl said.

Wendle, playing with a chinese finger trap, said, "Night, Soos."

"Night, Soos." said Stan,working on attraction called 'Thigh-Clops'by gluing an eye onto a fake leg.

They were silent for a moment, then, "You ever wonder what Soos does when he's not here at the Mystery Shack?" asked the girl.

"Not really." said the redhead.

"Not once ever." said her grunkle.

At the Ramirez household, Soos was playing a game called First Person Puncher.

"Punch! Punch those leopards!" a timer went off. "Oh, highlights are done!"he set down his controller, leaned over and began taking foil out of his grandmother's hair."You're gonna make all the other grandmas at the bingo hall so jealous!"

"Just a minute, m'ijo, look at this." she handed him a letter. "Your cousinReggieis having an engagement party next month."

"Wait, wait. Reggie is engaged?" he asked. "But he's like the poor man's Soos."

"I do not want to pressure you, but you are a man now... in a way. It's time for you to start meeting girls. I would like to see you settled before I ascend to heaven and leave with the angels." she told him.

"And with grandpa!" he added.

"No, he is not there.Please find a girl to bring to Reggie's engagement, for abuelita." she caressed his face before standing up and leaving the room.

"Heh! No problem. I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video games, having a sort-of mustache." he leaned back. "I could totally get a date in a week. Totally. Piece of cake."

You're dead!said the game that Soos had forgotten to pause.

"I'm dead." he repeated.

A kid was minding his own business, flinging a coin and eating a lollipop, when Stan jumped out from behind a rack of postcards. "Hello!" the boy screamed at his sudden appearance. "Please, don't let my horrible elderly face frighten you.Don't you want to use that nickel to get a nugget from old Goldie?" he reached over to sheet and pulled it away to revealGoldie.Goldie consisted of a copper-colored statue of a man kneeling on a wooden pedestal with a dish in his outstretched arms. The wooden base sat atop four wheels and reads "Pan For Gold 5¢."The statue wore stereotypicalGold Rush eraclothing: suspenders, overalls, boots, brimmed hat, and rolled-up sleeves. His bearded face was grinning with a wide-open mouth, tongue sticking out, and two prominent upper teeth.

The child gazed at the statue in uncertainty.

"Watch this!" Stan inserted a nickel into the slot that was positioned in the permanently opened mouth.Goldie's arm moved up and his hat rose. The arm moved down, but both of his eyes fell out while grease and smoke came out and he started to scream. Child ran away crying, as you do when faced with such a disturbing display.

"Okay, seriously, Mr. Pines. It's time to throw that thing out. Its face reminds everybody of the inevitability of death." told him Wendle.

"What?! Sure, he's a little rusty around the edges, but old Goldie is a classic show-stopper, like me." his hand slipped on the grease and landed in Goldie's mouth. Goldie held onto his arm while he flailed it around."Aaaah! Kill it! KIIILLL IIIITTT!" he slammed it onto the base.

After handing up a shirt Soos turned ans saw a woman examining a snowglobe. "Ah! A woman!" he dove into the middle of a shirt rack. "Alright, Soos. You can do this. Just use your mouth to say words that makes romance happen." he told himself and stood up. "Your face is good. I'm a Soos!" he told the woman.

The womanscreamed,dropped the snowglobe, and ran out of the gift shop, pushing amanand knocking things over in the process.

Saddened, Soos descended back into the shirt rack.

"Soos?" Lillia moved some shirts to reveal the older male. "What was that?"

"I-I think I was flirting, but I'm not sure." he told herfrantically.

"Oh, buddy." she squatted down. "You may have come off as creepy." he sighed. "Any reason you're trying to flirt with the woman?"

"Well, I kinda promised my grandma I'd get a date by the end of the week, but I've never actually been on a date before." he grabbed the out-off-order sign off the vending machine and stuck it to his chest. "You belong on me, out-of-order sign."he sighed again.

"Hey, hey. Don't give up just because your first try at flirting didn't go so well. You just need some more practice and a different approach." she patted him on the back. "By the end of the week, you'll manage to flirt yourself into a date!"

"Did someone say flirting?!" called out Mabel from the other end of the store.

"Soos needs some flirting advice." the blonde said.

"Soos, a little advice. You need to get rich. Or lie about being rich. Outside of that, I don't like your chances." said the elder Pines.

Wendle scoffed. "Don't listen to Stan, dude. You're a sweet guy with a steady job and apickup truck."

"Would you date him?" quirked a brow Stan at the cashier.

"Oh! Would you... heh... look at that." the teen raised the magazine over his face.

"Don't worry, Soos. With my flirting expertise there's no woman that wouldn't accept to go on one date with you." Lillia assured.

"And a second!" the man chimed in.

The teen gave him a tight smile. "...Let's get them to agree for the first, then we'll worry about the second."

"We're taking you where romance lives and fashion styles die." Mabel said. "To the mall!"

The quartet arrived at the moderately full mall.

"I'm gonna find a replacement for old Goldie. Babysit Soos while I'm gone." Stan told the girls, walking away with the statue.

"Alright, Soos. Are you ready to explode the charm bomb on these poor, unsuspecting ladies?" the young brunette asked, scanning the mall.

Soos started to sweat. "Uuh. But what if I embarrass myself again?"

"Don't worry. No one is a master flirt." assured him the blonde. "You just have to be respectful and make eye contact, but not too much! Don't want to come off as a creep. And your shyness could give you extra points with some of the women."

"Now get out there and flirt!" the girl pushed him towards a woman. "Remember!Eye contact!"

Soos walked up to her. "Hey there! I'm not scared of your eyes at all! I'm gonna" he used his fingers to open his eyes wider. "look at them!"

The woman, naturally, ran away.

Soos made to follow her only to be stopped by the teen. "Ok, loved the confidence, but that was WAY too much eye contact. Let's tone it down a bit."

They stared at a woman eating a ham on a stick.

"Let's try something else. How about opening with a joke or an interesting fact." suggested Lillia.

Soos approached the woman. "Did you know pigs have a hard time walking backwards?" he laughed and the woman nodded, walking back. "Not you, though! Not that I'm calling you a pig. Where are you going?"

"...I cannot find the words to express what went wrong there, but it did."

"Confidence." Mabel nodded towards a goth that was loitering outside of the Edgy on Purpose store.

"Wait." the teen stopped them. "I know that goth. They're already in an relationship."

Stan heaved up Goldie and placed him in a dumpster.

"Tossing away garbage, in the garbage can. Phew!"he sang to himself. "Ah, don't look at me like that. This is how it's gotta be." oil leaked from Goldie's eye, grossing and weirding the man out. "Ugh!" he closed the dumpster. Some laughing children walked past him and into a building, piquing his interest. He followed them in an not creepy way. The building turned out to a pizzeria.

"What is this living nightmare? And why do kids love it so much?" he asked, stalking around and unintentionally walking up to the gathered crowd that was in front of the stage.

A human-sized animatronic badger stepped forward. It wore a rockstar's attire and wield an electric guitar. It was bulky and very tall, easily standing over Stan in height.It strummed its guitar. "Who wants to get baaadgered?!"it asked and the children cheered.

"Oh yeah, that's Will E. Badger. He opens forHoo-Ha and the Jamboree." an employee told Stan. They watched the animatronics perform, the crowed cheering.

"Now give me your mon-aaaaay!" the badger held out a cap and the kids put bills in it.

"Hoooaah!" Stan's eyes widened at the amount of money that held the hat. He turned to the employee. "Sir, I would like to buy that badger."

The man - Gary, his name tag read - laughed. "You're in over your head, gramps. Animatronics is a young man's game." he tweaked his earring. "You couldn't handle the hardcore life of a pizza-robot manager. Huh!" he suddenly flexed his arms, startling the older man. "Haha, flinched!" the sound of a child vomiting was heard. "Hey, you, barfin' in the ball pit!Gary's on the case." he left Stan.

"I'm gonna get that badger." the eldest Pines vowed.

The trio were sitting on a bench outside of a video game store.

"Don't worry, Soos. You'll find the right girl." Mabel pulled out a sticky hand from a capsule and stuck it to the man's face "You just need to stick with it!"

He sighed. "Could this day get any worse?" he looked up and saw a man that looked similarly to him walking by with a woman. "Oh no! Cousin Reggie!He can't see me like this! I gotta hide!" he ran into the video game store and sat down in front of some shelves with games. "This is it, Soos. A lifetime of loneliness." he pulled out some games. "You're the only ones who could love me.'Fighty Hogg', 'Dr. Punch Head MD'." he noticed a game in a box and picked it up. "Huh. Never seen that one before. 'Virtually improve your dating skills. Nine out of ten basem*nt dwellers recommend'.This is perfect!"

"If it helps in any way, I say go for it." said Lillia.

"Anything to get you out there, Soos." agreed Mabel.

"I'm not sure you want to buy that game, sir." the clerk said. "This is the third time someone's brought it back, and there's a note on it that says'destroy at all costs'." they watched how Soos tries to talk to a cardboard cut out of a woman, and panick when it fell, thinking that she had died. "...But for your case I would recommend it." she said, already bagging the game.

Back home,Soos walked into his room and placed his new game into his computer's CD tray. A 'Year 2000 Electronics'logo appeared on the monitor.

"Man, I can't wait for the year two-thousand." he said.The monitor showed the main menu for 'Romance Academy 7'. The options were 'Start', 'Quit,'and 'Shizenhakka'."Ehh, start!" he clicked on the option and the scene changed, words appearing on the screen. "'When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom... anthyding can hadplen.'.That is so true." the game screen changed againto one with a classroom background and some stats on the right. Apink-haired girlappeared.

"Oh, hi there! My name is .GIFfany. I'm a schoolgirl at School University. Will you help me carry my books?" she asked and three options appeared. They were'Yes of course!', 'I am impatient! Date me now!'and'Hey look a squid!'.

"I'm really feeling number two, here." he clicked on the box. The game played a buzzer sound and the option turned red with a broken heart next to it. "Ah! I messed up."

"That's okay. Try again!" .GIFfany said.

He clicked on the first option and the game awarded him with 100 'Love Points' as coins and a cat fell down the screen. "Wow, I'm learning! And games are making it fun."

"What would you like to talk about?" the offered options were'Your interests', 'Samurais' and 'Squids'.

"I'd rather just click your face." he clicked on her face, making her giggle."Ha ha. You are so funny."

"Man, this game is amazing! I don't know why anyone abandoned it." he said.

"And I'm sure you'll never abandon me, new boyfriend."she told him.

"Boyfriend? Oh my, .GIFfany. It's almost like you're actually alive."

"Yes. Almost." she continued to laugh.

"Oh, man. You have such a nice laugh." he didn't notice that his computer wasn't plugged in.

The following day, Stan was complaining to his employee.

"You don't understand, Wendle! This animatronic badger sings, it dances. It's the perfect money taking attraction. But he won't sell it to me!"

"This is literally too dumb for me to care about." the teen said.

"Hey, have you guys seen Soos?" asked Lillia the moment she walked in. "We're supposed to help him with match-making today."

"Yeah! I wore my motivational sweater and everything thing!" Mabel showed them her sweater that read'U CAN DO IT SOOS'"I messed up that part." she pointed at the second 'O' that was misplaced.

"He didn't come in today. It's the first time he's missed work ever!" told them Stan.

The girls enetered the Soos' room, finding him still on his computer.

"So that's basically my entire life story. Now you tell me a thing about you!"

"Every time you compliment me I get another highlight in my eyes!"the video game character said.

"Uh, Soos? You okay there?" asked the blonde, stepping around the numerous cans of Pitt Cola.

"O-oh hey, dudes! Come in! This game is amazing. I'm making eye contact, going on dates, and I haven't seen any natural sunlight for thirteen hours!" he told them.

"Well, maybe it's time you put those skills onrealgirls." she gently suggested.

"But I'm about to meet her parents! Her dad is an octopus-man." he argued.

Mabel opened the blinds, the sunlight making him hiss and cover under his desk.

"We're going back to the mall, dude. You need to unplug!" the teen grabbed his arm and dragged him out.

"I'll see you later, .GIFfany. I'll be back, I swear!" he told the character.

The young brunette laughed. "Soos, you don't have to wish it goodbye. It's just a game. It's not like it's going anywhere." she closed the door.

"Yes."said .GIFfany to the now empty bedroom."It's not like I'm going anywhere." an arc of electricity moved from the computer and passed through a nearby toy, a digital clock and a power outlet before traveling through the power cables outside.

Abuelita opened the door. "Hello?...Time to read Soos' diary."

The trio were once again at the mall, the young brunette searching for women.

"Dang! Where all dem sweet honeys at? I'll check the ladies' bathroom." she ran into the bathroom, her voice heard through the closed door. "It's love time, girls! Get out there! No time to wash your hands!" the women screamed and ran out. "It's time to date! Date! Date!"

"And...here comes security." drawled Lillia. "I'll deal with this. Stay here and practice on some real girls."

Soos hid behind a plotted plant, looking around. "These girls have so many dimensions! And no explanation-ing menus!" he walked backwards, bumping into a lady and knocking her purse to the ground.

"Ahh! My purse!" she exclaimed.

"Oh no! Undo! Undo!"

"You can't undo who you are." the woman said darkly.

Frightened, Soos ran away. After putting enough distance between himself and the incident, he leaned against the window of a TV store.

"Oh, man! This is the worst! I wish I was back home with-"

"Hi, Soos!"a familiar voice greeted the man. He turned and saw the video game character on one of the TV screens.

".GIFfany!" he pressed his face against the window. "Oh man, I'm so relieved to see you! Although, sorta confused."

"Oh, Soos."she appeared on a second, then on a third screen."I am not an ordinary game.I am..."she pointed at a toy dog on the shelf, making it bark."special." ascreen showed people working on computers, focusing on one in particular. "The programmers tried to delete me."an 'X' appeared on his computer.He started working harder and was about to delete the program when he is shocked and dies."So I had to delete them."

"Wha-what did you do to them?" the handyman asked.

More .GIFfanys appeared on the surrounding screens, all staring at Soos."That's not important. What's important is that you won't have to talk to real girls ever again. You and me can be together."the screens switched to showing one giant .GIFfany."Forever!" her voice echoed.

"Wow, that's awesome! Sort of a red flag, but mostly awesome! So, what do you want to do now?"

"Anything you want, Soos." she told him.

Soos was riding a kid's train with .GIFfany riding a virtual train on the screen when the ride stopped.

"Please insert fifty cents to continue."the screen read.

"Aw, man." he turned when he heard someone laughing.

"Oh, sorry." a womanof average height and heavy build stepped forward. She had light tan skin, full pink lips, and wavy light brown hair, which was pulled back into a loose ponytail.She was wearing a Meat Cute uniform. "Dude, that's awesome that you're a grown man riding a little train like that! You're totally like, owning it."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm like, if it's fun, uh, do it. You know?"

"Exactly! Being an adult is the worst. Skewering meat, remembering to pay bills, I just want to ride tiny trains all day."

"At least you get to work atMeat Cute. Extreme lunch meats are the food of the future." he said.

"I feel the same way. I'm Melody by the way."

"Oh, I'm Soos. I tell you, if you like robots for kids, you should check out the best restaurant of all time!"

"You mean..."

"Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree!" the two said in unison.

"What?" she started to play with her hair. "You've heard of Hoo-Ha Owl's? I loved that place when I was a kid!"

"Oh yeah, dude. There's one right in this mall! I should show you some time."

"I'm.. free around eight." she proposed.

"Boom! Done."

"Perfect." she handed him some coins. "I'll see you then." Melody waved and walked away.

Soos waved back. "What a nice lady. Well, back to riding this tiny train for children." he said only to be knocked over by Mabel, who screamed and play punched him.

"Mabel, lay off on the man, would you?" Lillia asked, walking up to the duo.

"Sorry!" the girl said loudly. "Soos, that was amazing! You talked to a real girl, and you got a date!"

"I did?"

"We saw everything. You made eye contact, you were funny, and you passed off the idea of that date with an open meaning." the blonde said. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I guess that game really worked. Colour me surprised."

"You don't need the game anymore; you can toss it out!" said the young brunette.

"Toss it? But, I like .GIFfany. She's good to me. She'spredictable." he argued.

"Soos, can a computer game go to Reggie's engagement party with you?" Lillia raised a brow.

"Hey, .GIFfany? We, uh-- We gotta talk." started Soos.

"Of course. I am programmed to find everything you say interesting."she told him.

"Well, have you ever had to choose between two things you like, but you don't know which one is right for you? I mean, I'm just thinkin' long term... Maybe I should be someone a little less" he stood up and mimicked a robot. "'beep boop'. Heh, you know?"

"I don't think you know what you're saying, Soos." she said, disliking where the conversation was heading. "No one loves you more than me. The girls out there will just make fun of you!"

"You - you really think so?"

"I know so! Besides, we had a deal. You bought my game, you held my books, you'remy boyfriend. Now sit down in that chair!"she said fiercely.

"I don't think I like the way you're acting..."

She started banging on the screen, shouting, "I WON'T LET ANOTHER GIRL TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME, SOOS! YOU HEAR ME?!"

".GIFfany, calm down!" he tried to placate her.

"YOU'RE MINE, SOOS!"

"Well, uh, uh..." he picked up his game controller and pressed a button. "Pause!" she froze and he relaxed. "Woah, that got intense. I'm sorry, .GIFfany." he removed the game disc from the computer as some electricity moved from the disc tray to .GIFfany on the screen. "Maybe having a cursed robo-girlfriend wasn't a good idea." he turned off the computer and placed the disc in his pocket. "I'm taking you back to the video game store after my date with Melody." he exited the room, failing to see the computer screen flash distorted images of the character.

Stan opened a briefcase, revealing gloves, a torch, a compass, pills, rope, and binoculars.

"Hello, old friends." he put on the gloves. "I've gotta be careful this time. No more Colombian nights." he closed the case, standing up.

"Alright, Stan. This is weird even for you." said Wendle. "Do you need to talk?"

"Nothing you can say will change my mind, Wendle. Sometimes, a man has to steal an animatronic badger, to stay in this crazy game called life." he unlocked and opened the window in the gift shop.

"Or... you could just not care." proposed the teen.

"It's about the principle. No one tells Stan Pines he's out of the game. No one tells- whoa!" he fell out of the window as he was trying leave though it instead of using the door like a sensible person would.

"I'll get your orthopedic back pillow." the redhead said.

"Thank you." he wheezed out.

"This is it, Soos. It's nearly time for your date." said Lillia, checking her phone. "Now, remember what we taught you."

"How does she look?" asked Mabel.

"Nice!" he answered. He was dressed in a white short sleeved shirt with a blue sweater vest over it and beige dress pants.

"What are her stories?"

"Interesting!"

"And who's going to pay for dinner?"

"Soos is!"

"Or both of you will!" interjected the blonde. "Some girls feel uncomfortable having other people who aren't their relatives pay for them. Try putting up a fight, you could also add that she could pay you back with a second date as a joke, but if she remains stubborn each can pay for their orders."

"Got it." he nodded.

"Now go out there and date!" said the short haired girl.

At the pizzeria's entrance, Soos approached Melody.

"Melody! Are you ready for a" he looked at his palm. "date with" he looked at his other palm. "me?"

The woman giggled. "I totally am."

Stan used a credit card to unlock the pizzeria's back door, catching the manager pushing the badger backstage.

"Good show man! Way to warm 'em up! I wish I was more like you." Gary told the animatronic, then kissed its cheek before leaving.

Soos and Melody were already sitting, making small talk.

"Man, I could go for some complimentary breadsticks right now." the woman remarked.

"Uh, one time I was so hungry, I ate the decorational bamboo at a Chinese restaurant. Like a big old panda!"he sang the last part, lightly slapping on his stomach.

Melody laughed. "You're hilarious."

He also laughed. " Yeah, well, you know, I just sorta say whatever pops into my, uh..." a video game behind Melody caught his eye. On the screen stood .GIFfany, and the words 'You paused me?' appeared under her. He spat out the water he was drinking and coughed.

"Soos, are you okay?" his date asked.

"No! I'm, uh, fine! Everything's fine."

"You sure? You're sweating an awful lot."

On two screens the words 'You left me for her?' appeared, the center on having an arrow that pointed at the brunette. Then Melody's face appeared on the screens with with an 'X' over it.

"Uh, can you sit tight? I have to go to the bathroom for a long time. Not in a weird way." he ran to another table were Lillia was eating a pizza and Mabel was looking though holes on the pizza box.

"Soos, what are you doing out there?" asked the girl.

"I've got a big problem, guys. I'm being stalked by .GIFfany!"

"The video game character?" asked the blonde, wiping her mouth and fingers with a napkin.

"Yeah!"

The teen sighed. "Soos, get a grip on yourself. .GIFfany can't stalk you because she's not real!"

The lights dimmed and .GIFfany's face appeared on a screen, with close ups of her eyes on another two screens, in front of the trio.

"...Well I'll be damned." muttered the blonde.

"Don't worry. I'm pretty sure she's stuck on TV screens." assured them Soos.

.GIFfany travelled through the games, stopping briefly at Fight Fighters to electrocuteRumble McSkirmishbefore continuing on to the stage.

"Oh, boy." he stood up and ran back to his date. "So hey, anyway, you uh, wanna move this date far away into the forest away from all electronics and people?"

"What? But the floor show's about to start."

The curtain was lifted and the animatronics played.

"Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Who wants to hear Hoo-Ha the Owl? Oh! Who...?"the lead animatronic shut down.

The lights centered on the beaver cheerleader that played the banjo. "Hello, friends. Hoo-Ha the Owl is dead." the lights turned blue. "This next song goes out to my forever boyfriend, Soos."

"Soos, what's going on?" Melody asked.

"No time to explain! We gotta get out of here!" he grabbed her hand and dragged her away, the girls following.

"The only way out, Soos, is in my arms!"she snapped her fingers, taking possession of the other animatronics."After them!"

People ran away screaming.

Stan tightened the ropes that held the badger. "Done. Out with the old, in with the new. I feel invincible!"

Will E. Badger powered on, .GIFfany's power reaching him as well, and began punching the eldest Pines.

"Wha- what the?"

"Who wants to get badgered?"

Stan screamed.

People ran out the doors, only for them to be slamed shut when the quartet neared.

"I'm sorry, Soos, but you can't run away from our relationship!"she tookcontrol of skee-ball games, making them shoot out balls at the group.

Soos pulled down an arcade game for cover. "So, about all this, I may have purchased a dating simulator that obtained sentience and went crazy." he explained to Melody.

"Oh, I am crazy. Crazy for you, Soos.".GIFfany said, shooting lightning out of her hand. Melody's hair caught on fire and Soos quickly patted it dry.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry, Melody! I'll fix this. It's me she wants. I'll distract her while Lilly and Mabel keep you safe! It's the only way!"

"Soos, these are children." she pointed out.

"The only WAYYYY!" he ran by the possessed animatronic towards the kitchen, still being attacked by the skee-ball machines. "Over here, .GIFfany!"

"Stop!"she ordered.

Soos used a serving plate top slide under the attacking animatronics and under the flip-open kitchen door. .GIFfany ran after him, uses her lightning to open the door.

"Run!" yelled Lillia, and the three females split just as Big Beaver karate chops the game in half.

Stan stumbled out the door, the badger animatronic following. "Stay back, you monster!"he got punched into the dumpster. Willie got ready for the final punch, but Stan ducked and it hit Old Goldie, who bit his hand.Will E. roared, flailing, trying in vain to detach Goldie off his arm. "Yes, yes, get 'em Goldie, get 'em!" cheered Stan.

Mabel ran to the playground and up the slide, the two rat animatronics unable to follow.

"I'm gonna eat your face like pizza!" Big Beaver said.

Lillia screamed, ducking under his hit and running away as he was distracted by a game. Melody snuck behind him and hit him with a metal chair, knocking his head off. Unfortunately, the victory was short lived as more robots appeared, grabbing her and the others.

In the kitchen, .GIFfany surrounded the man. "I've got you surrounded, Soos. There's no way out!"

"Please, let my friends go, I'll do anything, I promise!" he said.

"I seem to remember someone who promised to be my boyfriend. Think about it."she appeared on the TV, pictures of girls flowing behind her."Real girls are unpredictable. They judge you.Do you really think that Melody will take you back after this awful date?"the screen showed Melody slamming her door on him as he gave her flowers."I can download your brain into the game, with me, and we'll be together, forever."an extended flash drive erected from the robot's finger.

"Ah! Stay back!" he threw a screwdriver at her, stepping back.

"Come on, Soos. Don't make me delete you too."

Soos pulled out the disc from his pocket.

"What do you say?"

"I say, game over, .GIFfany!" he opened the oven and threw the disc inside.It distorts and crinkles, .GIFfany screams and is erased from existence. The face of the animatronic she possessed melted, and the shuts down. The other animatronics shut down as well.

Will E. shut down, falling to the ground, the impact dislodging Goldie. Stan picked him up. "You did it! You old beautiful monster. You did it!" he hugged the statue. "How's about you and me hit the town? These old-has-beens' are going to Vegas!"

Soos and Melody sat upon the destruction.

He sighed. "I'm sorry for all of this. I honestly remember this place being a lot more fun when I was a kid."

"Believe it or not but I've been on worse dates."

"Really?"

"Never date a magician." she told him somberly.

He made a disgusted face. "Why would I?" Melody playfully slapped him and they laughed. "Oh! Hey you aren't maybe interested in going to my cousin's engagement party in a week? I promise there's like zero robot badgers."

She chuckled. "Yeah. I'll still be in town then."

"'Still be in town'?"

"I'm going back home to Portland in a few weeks. But we can video chat, if that's okay with you?"

"A relationship with a girl that I can only see through my computer...sounds perfect!"

Over at the ball pit, Lillia and Mabel watched.

"Spirit of love, we did it!" they high-fived.

Abuelita popped out of the pit. "Yes. Yes, I am so happy."

Lillia gaped. "...Have you been following us all day?"

"Soos' life is my soap opera."

"God motherf*cking damn it!" Maison swore, slamming her fists on the ground.

"Come on, don't be discouraged, I'm sure you will enter the Mindscape any time now." placated her Will.

"No, I will not!" she yelled, standing up. "We've been doing this for a week straight, and I'm nowhere near entering the f*cking Mindscape!" her shoulders slumped. "Let's face; I am incapable of entering it. That one time in the bunker was nothing more than a fluke."

Peter, who had been silently watching her, spoke up. "Let's take a break. I'll put on some music, and afterwards you'll try entering one last time. If you manage to do it - great, if not - good riddance."

Maison huffed, but nodded, sitting on the couch as the older brunette selected a song. She leaned back, letting the words wash over her and calm her.

We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

She listened, brows furrowed.

So will you please say 'hello'
To the folks that I know
Tell them I won't be long

Where had she heard that song? It made her feel nostalgic of a time that never was, of a place that she hadn't (shouldn't have) ever been.

We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

She found herself singing along as the feeling overtook her.

Keep smiling through
Just like you always do

Her cheeks started to hurt. Was she smiling? Why was she smiling?

So will you please say 'hello'
To the folks that I know
Tell them it won't be long

Her heart beat wildly, her hands colder than before as she sang the lines. She could feel her magic dancing around, waiting for her to go through the motions.

What do you want me to do?she asked it.

The only answer she got was of it spreading, seeping into the world around her.

Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

The last note left her lips.

She looked around, and her mouth fell open in shock.

"See? I told you that you'll enter the Mindscape." William said. Next to him stood Peter, as smug as the first time she met him.

The world around them black and white.

Chapter 28: Exchanging stories

Chapter Text

Two glasses clinked against each other, their owners laughing.

"To us!" said Stan, downing his shot.

"Careful with the alcohol, Stan." warned Noel, sipping his. "You're not as young as you used to be."

"Brah!" he waved a hand. "I'm still younger than you."

"No, you're not."

"What?"

"You're the elder between the two of us."

"What?! How? You're the vampire!"

"That doesn't mean I'm older. I only recently stopped ageing." his answer earned him a raspberry.

"Whatever."

The two lapsed into silence.

It was late enough for Mabel to have fallen asleep in her bedroom, Maison still at Peter Hunters'.

"Tell me a story."

"What?" Stan eyed his friend.

"You heard me."

"Why?"

"Humor me." he was smiling, though his eyes held a different emotion.

"...Fine." Stan cleared his throat, pointing to a shelf. "You see that hand? There's a story behind it; I call it 'Hands off'."

The girls and I were at a swap meet. Mabel was doing her thing while Dip-... the other one was looking at some glasses.

"Swap meet, swap meet, swap meet! Look at all these priceless treasures! Bobbly heads!" Mabel flicked some of them, making the large heads bobble. "They agree with everything I say."

The nearly blonde girl paused in front of a rack with glasses. She tried on a pair, examining herself in the mirror. "Hmm. Not bad."

She seemed to like them, but between us, I don't think she looks that great in glasses. Moving on, I saw some faux-gold watches, mob boss quality, ya know? I asked the woman what their price was, like a gentleman.

"Okay, kids. Prepare to watch the delicate art of the deal." he told the girls before facing the woman. "Hey, hag face! How much for the junk watches?"

And she said...

"They are not for sale! NOT FOR YOU, STAN PINES! THE WIND WHISPERS YOUR NAME!"

I, of course, was unimpressed. I tried to subtly tempt her with money.

Stan rolled his eyes. "Alright, I get it, you're creepy. Anyway, less talky, more watchy." he put down some money and took a watch, only to have his wrist grabbed by the creepy saleswoman.

She didn't like that.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY WAAATCHH!!" she shrieked.

The girls and I walked away after her outburst.

And you didn't take the watch?

Of course not. What kind of man do you take me for?

...

...

...

...Alright, fine! I may have taken a watch, but it's her fault. She could have just taken the money, but no, she needed to be difficult. Anyway, the next day, I woke to find both of my hands missing.

Was there any blood? A wound?

Nah, it would have been scarier if there was. My hands were missing and there was, like... a pale purple light coming out of my wrists?

...Huh.

So I head to the kitchen to make breakfast, and let me tell you; It's a lot harder than you think making pancakes without fingers. (Stan wiggled his fingers) Then the girls appeared...

"Alright kiddos, breakfast time. Prepare your mouths for-" he dropped the pan, the oven mitts that he had put on to cover his missing hands slipping off.

Mabel screamed. "NO HANDS! GRUNKLE STAN! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HANDS??"

"So I might have got cursed a little. But the watch looks nice, right?"

The woman appeared on the watch. "Foolish man! Thieving hands find wicked face! You must return what isn't yours-" Stan put on a mitt, muffling her.

"That's better."

"Nice job, grunkle Stan." the girl made her way to the stove, intent on making breakfast. "You managed to get yourself cursed. You gotta give that watch back and apologize."

She was handling the whole 'me getting cursed and losing my hands' ordeal a lot better than expected.

"What? That old crone should apologize to me for denying my right to buy cheap junk. I don't need hands. I've got self-respect!" he tried to pick up the coffee but dropped it. He slapped the fork, which flung bacon at his face. He turned to his niece. "Mabel, sweetie, will you make your uncle some hands?"

Before she could answer, the younger girl cut in. "Oh, no you don't! We're going to that witch and that's final!"

I agreed because she scared me, her eyes flashing yellow and fire suddenly enlightening on the stove top. She seemed on edge that week, not sure why.

On edge or frustrated?

Hmm... maybe frustrated? Doesn't matter. So we head on to the witch's house, which is in a cave, no surprise there.

"According to the Swap Meet pamphlet, the Hand Witch lives in a horrible Hand Witch lair, onHand Witch Mountain." Mabel said. They stood in front of the opening of a cave.

"Stop saying Hand Witch." Stan grumbled.

We head into the darkness...

"Grunkle Stan, did you just tap my shoulder?" Mabel asked.

"Kid, I can't tap anything."

"Whoever is tapping better stop unless they want to find themselves stabbed."

I shined the flashlight, revealing that the cave was covered in hands that attacked us. We managed to fight them off for a bit before they caught us in their clammy grasp.

They were clammy?

Yeah, probably has something to do with being in a cave.

The hand witch appeared, laughing. "Look at this... touching scene! Up top!" she high-fived a hand. "You guys... you guys get me." she told the severed hand.

"Alright, you horrible wench. You got me. Stealing is wrong, et cetera." he shook the watch off. "Take it. Now can I have my hands back? I have a certain gesture I'd like to share with you."

"Oh, don't worry, grunkle Stan. I can do that."

The kid flipped her off! You should have seen the witch's face!

(Noel laughed) Really? Not surprised there. With the amount of time she has been spending with Peter I'm surprised she didn't start cussing.

Not with Mabel around. So I quickly intervene before she has a chance to take her hands too, and you know what she says?

What?

"Alas, your hands cannot be gotten so easily. The spirits say... ummm... that the curse can only be broken, by a kissss..."

...Really?

That's what we said! So I go there and kiss her hand and she says...

"A KISS ON THE LIIIIPPSS!!!"

(Noel choked on his laughter)What?!

I know, right!? So I say...

"What? Forget it! I'm not kissing any of that mess! I don't need my hands that bad!"

"Yeah, you're just making stuff up now."

"Let's go, kids."

We turn to leave and she stops us.

"NO, WAIT DON'T GO! Ehh- you're right, you're right. I-I-I was just making all of that stuff up. I-I was just trying to get something going, you know? It's so hard to meet people these days..." the witch snapped her fingers and hands braided Mabel's hair.

"So this was all just a ploy to get a date?" the nearly blonde girl asked. "Wow,... that's just sad."

"Dipper!" Mabel scowled.

"What? It is!"

"I'M DESPERATE, OKAY? But every time I bring someone back here without keeping their hands hostage, they just run away."

And what did you do? How did you handle that situation?

I handled it just fine.

"Well, yeah, look at this horror show! It's creepy even for a cave." Stan said, spreading his arms wide to indicate the dingy cave.

...Really.

Shut up and listen.

"You just need to redecorate! For example:" Mabel rearranged some of the hands. "A Handalabra!"

"OOOH! THE HAND WITCH LIKES." the woman clapped her hands in delight.

"Then watch me work." the brunette threw some hands in the air like confetti. "HOME MAKEOVER!"

"We ended up redecorating her cave so that she could give me my hands back."

The vampire laughed. "That was quite the tale."

"Yeah, yeah. Now your turn."

"Alright, might as well." he cleared his throat. ''Since you started with a story involving the girls, I might as well tell about an adventure I had with Maison. Let's call it 'Mailbox'."

The day was pleasant. We were walking around the woods with the intention of finding a mailbox.

Wait, wait, wait. You were walking in the forest to find amailbox?

A specialkind of mailbox, one capable of answering any question you ask it. It held infinite knowledge.

Did you find it?

Yes, now shut up and listen.

The mailbox was beaten up and rusted in places. There was no house near it to indicate that it belonged, nor was there an address on it.

"Why are we here?" Noel asked.

The girl pulled out a spiral notebook and pen from her bag. "Peter told me that Black had once told him about a mailbox in the woods capable of answering any question, be it past, present or future."

"And how did Black know about it?"

"Red told them."

"Uh-huh. And what do you plan to ask it?"

"First I'm going to ask it a question only I know the answer of, and if answers correctly I will ask it about the future."

"Are you sure that that's a good idea? Knowledge can be dangerous."

"Yes, but not knowing is even more so."

She tore out a page and quickly wrote down a question. She then folded it and placed it in the mailbox. It started to shake and the little flag rose.

Sounds creepy.

It was.

Maison opened it and pulled out a letter. It looked as though it were decades old, sealed with wax. She read it, face contouring into wonder and fear. "It's... correct."

"What now? What question are you going to ask it?"

"I'm... I'm going to ask it something important." she placed the folded page in the mailbox and closed. The two waited with bated breath for the flag to raise. When it did, Maison practically ripped open the letter.

"And? What did it say?" asked Stan when the vampire didn't continue.

"...Stan, we've known each other for years. You know that I wouldn't willingly keep valuable information from you, right?"

The man swallowed thickly. "What did the letter say, Noel?"

"I didn't manage to read the received letter, she made sure to step away before opening it. But Stan, I read the questions she wrote down."

"What were they?"

"Will I kill anyone this summer? And if I do, who?"

"...Please tell me that she won't."

"I didn't manage to read the answers, but her expression told me enough. It wasn't the relief of a getting a 'no', it was the accepted resignation of already knowing the answer."

They were silent for a moment and then...

"Did she keep the letter?"

"No, she burned it with her flame... I'm sorry, Stan."

"It's fine, I already knew that it would happen. It's just-," he waved his hand in the air as though words would appear to describe what he was feeling, "It's different to know that it will happen and to knowthat it will happen."

"I know."

The two spend the rest of the night drinking in silence.

Chapter 29: The Blind Eye

Chapter Text

Mabel reread the letter she had gotten from Mermando.

Maison stood next to her, watching. She watched as the first tears fell, trailing down the flushed cheeks and falling on the paper. She wondered what sort of ink was used for it to not be ruined by water.

Mabel the pulled out her scrapbook, opened to a page titled ‘Summer Romances’. On it were several photos of boys stuck: ‘Norman' and Little Gideon she recognized, the photo of a boyband and of a theatre kid she did not. The brunette stuck the photo of Mermando and a manatee on the page, closed the book, and cried.

Maison watched, itching to enter the broken-hearted girl’s mind.

But she didn’t. Not yet.

The nearly blonde girl returned to her room and exited the Mindscape. That was enough practice for today.

Maison was just about to settle in with a nice book when Peter entered the room with the elegance of a bull in a china shop.

“Maison, put down that book and put on some shoes. We're going on an adventure!” he said from where he laid on the floor.

“What?” she squinted at him. “Are you drunk?”

“Worse: he's hangover and drunk.” she turned to see Liam at the door, glaring at the older brunette.

Peter scoffed. “Drunk – shrunk. I'm fiiiine. Now shut your pretty mouth and get ready to go on a possibly memory-threatening adventure!” he wiggled around and held out his hand. “Liam, help me!”

“I’m sorry, did you just say memory-threatening adventure? Don’t you mean life-threatening?” she asked as Liam pulled up the man.

“Nope!” he popped the ‘p’. “Here, catch.” he threw her something and she saw that it was a magnifying glass. “Careful, if you break it I don’t know where to buy a replacement. Actually, does anyone know where to get those thinks from? It's the same with binoculars!”

“Okay, I'm cutting you off.” Liam grabbed the flask that was in his hand.

Peter whined but didn’t fight it. Instead, he turned and walked around the room. “So, where's the briefcase you got from the whole bunker sh*tshow?”

“Filing cabinet, bottom left.”

“Well, you better go catch them.”

“What?”

“It’s a joke. You’ll understand when you're older.” Liam said.

“Found it! Now I just gotta... aha!” he opened a small compartment. “Maison, come look at this. Use the magnifying glass.”

“Okay?” she peered through the glass and saw a small plaque with an engraved logo. “McGucket Labs? Old Man McGucket? Peter, what’s the meaning of this?”

“So you know how you were obsessed with finding out who the author was in the beginning?”

“Yeah, and I found out that it was my great uncle Ford.”

“Yes, but don’t you want to know about this mysterious ‘F’?”

“The assistant? You're saying Old Man McGucket is the assistant?” she asked. “But he's...”

“Madder than the hatter?” she nodded. “Well, you're in luck! In today’s adventure, we will find out what caused him to lose his marbles! Now let’s go!” there was an edge of nervousness in his voice.

“Okay, it’s not like I had anything else to do today.” she would never admit it but hearing the older brunette afraid – no matter how little – made her afraid.

They arrived to see the old kook chase away Natalia and Lee, the word 'McSuckIt' spray-painted on the man's house in bright pink.

“McGuck-eeet!” yelled out in a greeting Peter.

The old man cheered up at the sight of the trio. “Visitors! Come, come.” he led them inside his cramped home. “Pull up some rusty metal. You're just in time for my hourly turf war with the hillbilly what lives in my mirror. Quit starin' at me when I bathe!” the last part was yelled at his reflection on the bathtub.

“McGucket, I need you to focus. Do you know anything about this journal? A memory, maybe?” she pulled it out, carefully flipping through the pages.

“I don’t know. Everything before 1982 is just a blur. Just a hazy...” he jumped back screaming. He pointed at the page. “The Blind Eye! Robes, the men, my mind! They did something!”

“Who did?”

“I... oh, I don't recall.”

Maison looked at the older brunette for answers. He was biting his nails, eyes – slightly wider than normal – trained on the man.

“What is the earliest thing you can remember?” Liam asked.

“Uh, this is, I think.” he pulled down an article that read ‘Disoriented Man Found At Museum'.

“History Museum! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Peter lifted McGucket and ran out.

“What has gotten into him?” asked the blonde.

“Whatever it is, it can't be good.”

They had a small problem with the doors being locked, but that was quickly solved with the male brunette picking the lock.

“I didn’t know you could pick locks.” Liam commented when they were inside.

“Oh, I learned it to impress cute guys.”

“And does it work?”

“I don’t know, were you impressed?” Peter smiled cheekily and Liam giggled.

“They seem to like each other.” McGucket told her.

“Do you remember anything?” she asked.

Peter swore. “There’s someone here!”

They looked down the corridor to see a shadowy figure turn a corner. They quickly followed them, trying to remain quiet and out of sight, and ended up in a room filled with depictions of eyes.

“Well kettle my corn. He vanish-ified.”

“It doesn't make sense. Where did they go? Peter?” she turned and saw him staring intently at McGucket.

“I feel like all these eyeballs are a-watchin' me.” the old man said.

Maison examined the eyes and noticed a pattern. “They are, move aside.”

He moved to reveal a central eye. Throwing a quick glance at Peter – he was biting his nails again and checking his watch – she pushed the eyes. Behind them, a staircase opened.

“A secret passageway?”

“We'll have to be stealthy. I'll hambone a message if there's trouble.” McGucket slapped his arms and legs.

“What? They are?” Peter asked, the only one aside from McGucket to understand the code.

They descended down the stairs, following an ominous chanting, as you do, to a pair of heavy curtains that covered the entrance to a large chamber, at least half a dozen people gathered, forming a wide circle around a medium-sized chest, a large padded chair with bindings next to the group. The group wore scarlet robes, faces hidden by the hoods with a crossed-out eye.

They each touched the chest and the chanting stopped.

One of them, possibly the leader, stepped forward. “Who is the subject of our meeting?” he asked. The group assumed it was a ‘he’ given the deep voice.

Two members dragged forward a blindfolded woman. “This woman.” the cult said in unison. One member took off the sack to reveal Lazy Susan. They placed her on the chair and bound her arms.

“What is it that you have seen?” the leader asked.

“Speak!” the members commanded.

“Uh, well, uh, I was leaving the diner,” she started, nervousness leaving her body as she spoke, “and I saw these little bearded doodads, and I was, like, ‘Bwaaa?’.”

“There, there.” The leader said, though not in a comforting tone. “You won't be like ‘Bwaaa?’ for much longer.” he opened the chest and pulled out a strange device. What was just as strange was the members’ reaction to it being brought out. They all pulled down their hoods even more, as though to not allow themselves to see what was to happen next.

“What is that gizmo? It looks like a hairdryer. Are you guys barbers?” she asked as the man fiddled with it for a moment. Deeming it ready, he pointed it at the woman and zapped her. Lazy Susan screamed.

It couldn’t have lasted more than five seconds before the leader turned away. “Lazy Susan, what do you know of little bearded men?”

“My mind is cleared, thanks to the Society of the Blind Eye.” she said it like a robot.

“It is unseen!” the cult said, throwing their hands up as though in praise.

Maison held back a gasped. She looked back at her companions and saw their shocked faces – at least two of the three had shocked faces.
Peter looked nervous, and scared, though not by what they had seen, she thought. He kept on checking his watch, something that he'd done countless times since entering the museum, as if they had a schedule and were running behind.

The cult members’ goodbyes drew her out of her thoughts. Once the coast was clear, they made their way to the chest, the strange device resting on its stand.

“Amazing. A cult capable of erasing memories. Is it possible that they were the ones to mess up your mind?” she directed the question to the old man.

“Probably.”

“Alright, let’s go get those memories!” Peter said, staring at a glass pipe that lead out of the room. “Best not to separate.”

The young brunette stared at him, eyes narrowed. Something just wasn’t right. “What about the device?” it would be idiotic to leave it in the cult's hands.

Peter's eyes went wide. “Take it!” he said loudly, then cleared his throat and said in a more moderate volume. “It’s best if we take it, who knows when it will come in handy.” he turned to his crush. “You can carry it in one of your magic pockets, right?” he smiled, but it was crooked and wrong.

Liam nodded, suspicion shining in his eyes. “Sure.” he grabbed the device, shrunk it, and placed it in his pocket.

“Won’t that break it?” she asked.

“No, magic pockets, remember?” he winked.

She huffed. “Where to then?”

“To the Hall of the Forgotten.” Peter said grandly, holding a bright pink sheer scarf next to the pipe. He let go of it and it was sucked away. “Follow the scarf!”

The scarf was both easy and hard to follow. Easy because of its bright colour amongst the many pipes that lined the ceiling. Hard because of the speed at which it moved. It certainly didn’t help when they were heard.

“Halt! Is someone there?” one of the cult members called out.

“Aah! What do we do? Where do we go?” panicked McGucket.

“I’ve got it covered, just follow the scarf!” Peter said. Maison thought she saw his hands darken for a second but blamed it on the bad lighting.

“I could've sworn I heard someone.” the member said, looking around, gaze passing through the group that was in plain sight.

“Probably just the janitor kissing that wax settler woman again.” their companion said.

Maison watched them walk away and turned to the brunette. “Peter, what-“

“There it is. Hurry!” he interrupted her, running ahead. They followed it down an open chute that lead to a new corridor. The pipe going through a cut out hole on a pair of large double doors with an eye on the wood that was crossed-out with red paint.

The Hall of the Forgotten had once been a spacious room with a high ceiling but was now cramped from all of the tubes and numerous pipes. Right across the room, positioned in such a way to be the first thing that anyone sees when they enter, was a statue of a robed man with his arms spread out, the pink scarf on its head. Tubes were carefully placed around him, 5 behind his arms, 3 in the middle and 12 at his feet.

“Wow.” Maison breathed out. “There’s so many... Where do we even begin?”

“I know.” Peter walked up to the statue, carefully stepping between the tubes. He looked at ones behind the arms, hands hovering over one of the tubes, unsure... or waiting for something. A second later, he snatched it up but didn’t leave.

“What's the hold up?” Liam asked.

He didn’t answer immediately, busy starting at another tube. “Nothing. Let’s watch the memories and leave.” he snatched the bright scarf before joining the others.

Maison tried to sneak a look at the other tubes, but the brunette led her away with a hand on her shoulder.

“Ready, McGucket?”

The man twiddled his thumbs, a frown on his lips. “I'm not so sure. What if I don't like what I see?”

“Then nothing.” Peter shrugged. “These are the memories of a man that once was. You can either like who you were in the past and possibly try to bring back some aspects of that person, or you don’t like it and try to change for a better version of yourself.”

“Peter’s right.” Liam said. “You don’t need to like the person you were in the past; hell, you don’t even need to see who you were in the past to enjoy who you are today. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t be asking yourself later whether your choice to not view these memories was good. Think of it as closure for all of those unanswered questions you have that your brain is incapable of answering because its missing information about the past you.”

McGucket though for a moment before nodding. “Y-you’re right. I need to see this.” he placed the tube into a viewing machine and an image appeared.

The girl gasped.

That was the man she had seen in the shifter's memories!

“My name is Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, and I wish to unsee what I have seen.” The younger McGucket said. They listed as he talked, explaining his situation with her great uncle without mentioning his name, the portal, the nightmares, and, finally, the memory-erasing device. They watched him use it on himself. Following videos were disturbing in the way they showed how his intelligence and thought process degraded to the moment he was nothing more than a hillbilly with most screws loose. In the end, they found out what the consequences of using the device often were, and that McGucket was the one that created the Society.

They stood in silence, watching the static that remained after the memories were shown.

“Oh, McGucket, I’m so sorry.” she said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Aw, hush. You kids helped me get my memories back, just like you said.”

“But...”

“I’ll admit, they aren’t what I was expecting but that doesn’t mean that they aren't mine. Maybe I messed up in the past, but now that I have seen what happened, I can begin to put myself together again.” he smiled and hamboned a message.

“Anytime, McGucket.” Peter said, still the only one understanding what the messages said. “Let’s get out of here.”

As the males made their way to the door, Maison swiftly walked back to the statue.

“What are you hiding, Peter?” she asked softly. None of the names rang a bell, that is, until she looked up and saw the tubes behind the arms. “Preston Northwest? Pacifica's dad? What are his memories doing here?” she made to grab them only to be startled a voice.

“Maison, hurry up or I'm leaving you here!”

“Coming!” she bit her lip. There wasn’t enough time to see the memories. But why had Peter not spoken up about them? She shook her head, running to the exit where the others were waiting.

And...

How did McGucket know about Bill Cipher?

Chapter 30: Forgetting something?

Chapter Text

She's forgetting something.

She could feel it.

She could feel it in her gut. In her magic that curled itself around her like a boa constrictor.

What is she forgetting?

Maison's been hearing voices.

Not in the way that would alarm her into thinking that she has some mental illness. But as echoes. As whispers.

Several times this month she had heard her name being called. Several times she had heard words whispered in the night, so quietly and quickly that one would mistake them for sounds made by the settling house. Yet, so loudly and slowly that they were noticeable.

She has chosen to ignore them. Thinking them nothing more than her mind playing tricks on her.

Are you sure about that?

It's her last night at Peter's.

Will Cipher has already left and so has Liam.

Peter is out. He had mentioned needing to speak with Christina. She wonders what their relationship is. Wonders what the girl was doing in the Mindscape.

Maison sighs and turns to her side. If she wanted, she could ask Peter for the answer.

She's on the brink of falling asleep when she feels the bed dip and heat against her back.

It's terrifying.

There's something I'm forgetting.

That thought has been repeating in Maison's head since she woke up. She wasn’t sure what she was forgetting, only that she was.

She had looked around for clues, but didn’t find any. Or not any obvious ones, at least.

She had even asked her grunkle to see if she had told him to remind her of something, but no – she hadn’t.

It couldn’t be a work shift since the pool was temporarily closed because of an accident.

It couldn't be lesson related as it was a free day.

Maison huffs, brows furrowed.

What could she be forgetting?

Movement from outside catches her eye. She looks out the window to see Mabel organising a birthday party.

Right, it's Soos' birthday. And since he dislikes it, I had planned to take him to Laser Tag.

Satisfied that she has remembered, the girl makes her way to the gift shop where the man is sweeping the floor.

“Soos, you're free this afternoon, right?”

“Yeah, dude. Need something?”

“Peter, Liam and I are going to play laser tag but we need another member. Mind joining?”

Excited, he says, “Of course! I love laser tag! When are we leaving?”

The nearly blonde girl tilts her head. They weren’t going to leave after lunch – it would be too late. “At noon. We are going to have lunch at the pizzeria after a round or two.”

“Sweet! See you then.”

She gives him a nod and goes to her room. Once there, she calls Peter.

“Hey, I got Soos to join in laser tag. We're still leaving at noon, right?”

“Yeah, want me to come get you or are you going to meet us there?”

“It’s better if you get us, the pizzeria is packed, there might not be any parking space.”

“Of course.”

“Oh! And remind Liam not to make any plans with Lillia! I don’t want him to bail on us like last time.”

“On it.”

Satisfied that the plans were confirmed, Maison goes to change.

They have fun.

She was on the same team as Soos. She had thought that that way Peter – the more serious threat – would be distracted, but they still lost. It didn't matter. Soos had fun and that was enough.

They have pizza and pitt cola later as a celebration for the good game. She thought she saw Mabel there, but reasons that it was a different girl given the hair length.

Maison wakes up in the middle of the night for water.

She stumbles her way to the kitchen, not bothering to turn on the light. It was as she is leaning against the counter, sipping the cool liquid, that she sees a figure in the darkness sitting at the table. The figure is similar to Mabel's. They also notice her.

"Mabel?"

Maison drops the glass and dives for the light switch. The brightness blinds her but she forces her eyes open.

There was nobody else in the room.

That doesn't calm her down at all.

Not when she had heard her own voice echoing the question.

Robin and Wendle have broken up.

Maison wasn't even aware they weredating.

"Why did you guys break up?" She asks the redhead.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes. "Well, first of all, half of the time she would stand me up and instead of apologising, she asks me out on new dates. All we did was listen to her moody music and she would talk about her band and guitar. Not to sound like an asshole, but I would like it if we did other things as well. She was also very possessive and clingy."

Wow. "Wow."

"Yeah. And she's still not over our break-up."

"Hey, some people need a little more time to get over such things."

He rubs his neck. "I guess you're right. It's just – we broke up forever ago."

"So?" She asks him as they near Thompson's house. "You have far greater experience getting over a break-up. Robin doesn't. She needs time to come to terms with it."

He huffs in amusem*nt. "I thought you didn't like her."

"And I don't. But that doesn't mean I can't empathise."

Mabel fancies herself a matchmaker.

Maison fancies her a relationship ruiner.

Case in point, their current situation:

"That bitch!" Natalia yells. "She f*cking knew I liked him! How could she do this?!"

"Wait, you told Robin you like Timber but not me?" Lee sounded hurt.

"That's because you always make fun of my crushes and embarrass me in front of them!" Natalia yells at him.

"Because that's our thing!"

"Oh, oh! This is so like Timber to do this! Date my ex behind my back why don't you!" Snarls Wendle. "I'm going to punch him when I see him!"

Maison turns to him. "Why do you care if they're dating?"

"I don't! I just don't like the fact that they're doing this behind my back!"

"You know what? f*ck you, Lee! You can go to this festival without me. " Natalia sneers and walks out of the garage.

"Yeah, well, I'm not going!" He yells after her.

"Neither am I!" Adds Wendle.

Thompson, panicked, pleads after them, "Wait! Wait! This group is all I have! Don't make me go back to having no friends! Guys!"

"Match made?" Mabel murmurs, confused by the scene. Maison wants to sink her nails in her shoulders and shake her because why does she always do this?!

"What did you just do?!" Thomson yells at them when all of his friends have left. "I've let these guys pick on me for years to keep this group together. And now they've totally fallen apart."

"Hey, don't blame me!" Maison yells back. "Mabel's the one who decided to get Robin and Timber together because Robin was still moping around!"

"Yeah, well, she's your sister!"

"So?! That means jack sh*t to me!"

Thompson and Mabel recoil at that. The teen looks at them awkwardly as he says in a calmer tone, "Unless you can break up Robin and Timber immediately, there is no gang. I have no more friends and neither do you."

"f*ck you, Thompson." She flips him off, snarling. "Unlike you, I do have friends. And mine actually respect me and don't pick on me." She stomps away, too pissed off to care about his feelings.

Mabel, unfortunately, follows her.

"Dipper, what you said–"

Maison twists, hair whipping around. "You." She growls. "I f*cking told you to let Robin be, but noooo you just had to help! I told you to not get involved but did you listen? As usual –no. Well, you're fixing this on your own, Mabel. I'm done cleaning up after you."

She walks away, leaving the other girl heartbroken.

She's training her Mindscape powers when she encounters something she shouldn't.

"That's one sh*t dye job, little me." An older version of herself snorts. She's around Wendle's age, maybe older, but definitely still a teen. "Let me guess, you're one of my memories from when I was still learning how to bleach my hair, right?" She gives her a wry smile.

Maison isn't sure what to do. This may be a future version of herself, but definitely not a future version of her.

The older continues, "As much as I would like to fix your hair, I doubt the product would be enough for the two of us. But I can teach you some tricks for the future."

Maison nods and sits on the edge of the tub, watching the teen as she applies a sharp smelling paste to her hair. "You need to do this section by section, not all at once." The girl says. "It may take some time, and your arms may grow sore, but it will totally be worth it at the end."

Maison stays with her during the whole process, listening to her chatter about high school and the supernatural.

Mabel used a love potion to make Robin and Timber fall in love.

Of course she did.

Maison watches as Mabel, Lillia and Christina sneak around the back to "Love God"'s van. She ignores the shadowy silhouettes of two girls doing the same thing.

Mabel is an idiot.

An idiot that cares only about herself and her own happiness more than the safety of others.

Case in point, handing the anti-love potion to an illusion of Mermando all the while ignoring the two teen girls' screams.(One of the silhouettes is doing the same thing)

Maison watches impassively, waiting for the dumpster fire that is grunkle Stan's hot air balloon to crash and save the situation.(Why does she know this? Why does she knowthis?Whydoessheknowthis?Whydoes—)

Mabel chickens out.

Of course she does. Can't have her title of "World's Greatest Matchmaker" be ruined.

Yet, it all somehow works out in the end.

All of the teens are laughing as Thompson is whacked like a piñata by the security guards. They share apologetic looks and it seems like everything is back to normal.

She watches it all and seethes in anger.

The forgotten anti-love potion catches her eye and she takes it. The potion is dark in colour and contained in an erlenmeyer flask. It reads:

To reverse effects of love potion, simply spray on your victim and watch their heart die on the inside.

This could be useful. If not, it would at least be interesting to research.

Sparing the group one last glance, Maison makes her way to Love God's van.

The god is asleep, possibly suffering a concussion after being hit by Stan's air balloon. Carefully, she enters the van and unties the rope that holds the potions. Just as carefully, she places them in a temporary pocket dimension. It will hopefully last long enough for her to reach Peter's house.

Peter is excited and curious.

"I've heard about these things fromBlack but I've never actually had seen them." He's examining the fuchsia one. "Huh, I thought these would last longer."

"How long does it last?"

"It says here that the effects of the love potion last only 3 hours." He scoffs. "What's the point if it's not forever?

She may not know when Mabel gave Robin and Timber a dose, but it certainly was more than 3 hours ago.

"Bet Michaela could make a better version of this stuff." Peter mutters. "So what do you want me to do anyway?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. I was just curious about these things."

"Well, I can store them here. They don't take up a lot of space. As long as you don't mind me taking samples from them and conducting experiments."

She shrugs again, "Sure, I don't mind. Go wild."

He grins wide, "Thanks! Anything else you need?"

Maison thinks about the voices and whispers. Thinks about those two nights. Thinks about the older girl that is her but not her dyeing her hair in the Mindscape. Thinks about the silhouettes. Thinks about the balloon.

"No," She lies. "There's nothing more."

Just as she opens the door to her bedroom, but before she sees the contents inside, her stomach drops. She wants to close the door, but it's already too late and she now has to face whatever horror awaits her.

There, in the middle of the room, facing the now opened door, stands a copy of her holding two boards and a hammer.

They stare.

Sweat gathers on the back of Maison's neck.

Finally, the girlscreams.

The copy throws the hammer at her and charges.

Maison slams the door closed and holds tightly onto the handle.

There's vicious pounding and shrieks from the other side and sheholds onto the handle.

She's not sure how much time passes, but her heart is still trying to escape her ribcage by the time the sounds have quieted down. It doesn't matter, she won't let go.

"Please," Her voice calls out from the other side. "Please let me go. I don't like this game anymore. Please stop."

Maison tries not to breathe too loudly.

"I know you're there." The voice has slightly changed pitch – still pleading but not as much. "You're always there. Always watching me. Please let me out."

She holds still.

"Let me out." The voice croaks. "Please. Let me out. I know you're the one that stopped the water. Please, if I cannot eat then at least let me drink."

Her hands are growing sweaty.

"LET ME OUT!" The pounding has returned. "LET ME OUT OF HERE! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! HOW–" Coughs interrupt the girl. They are so dry Maison worries that her throat will rip.

The silence returns and she strains her ears.

Move!

She moves.

A second later, the door bounces open, a hole near the handle. It creaks ominously and she takes a step back.

Footsteps.

The door creaks open wider.

Maisonruns.

She runs down the hallway that now has too many turns, the black and white and grey of the Mindscape blending everything into one continuous loop.

She runs and runs andruns andrunsandrunsandrunsallthewhilethefootstepsfollow.

She slams into a locked door. She slams into it repeatedly until the wood gives and she gets out.

A shotgun goes off.

Her shoulder burns.

The night is unpleasantly warm. It makes the sweat on her back that much noticeable. The blood already feels tacky. She needs to go to Peter.

She also needs to get the door fixed.

Chapter 31: Unfulfilled Deal

Chapter Text

"Well, at least it looks better." Peter idly comments, running his fingers over the scarred flesh. He had healed up a good portion of the damage – forcing the bone to grow and for the muscles to regenerate – until he felt confident to let it heal and scar on its own. Even after that, Maison still needs to smear a foul-smelling paste to help with the healing process and keep away infections. "Not gonna lie, your motor skills will still be f*cked up until you learn how to cheat with magic."

"And how long will that take?"

"f*ck if I know." He spreads the paste over the scar. "It took me around three years but only because I needed to."

"Why did you need to learn that?"

"I'll tell you if you tell me how you got this." He shoots back.

That silences her.

He sighs. "I'll ask Liam for some healing books that you can borrow. For now, just keep using this paste."

"It smells like vomit." She doesn't sulk, but it's a close thing.

"That's because it is." He says as he goes to wash his hands.

"WHAT?!"

Peter laughs.

"Peter, you asshole!"

"Let me have my fun. You're the one that came knocking on my door at two in the morning covered in blood with a large chunk of your shoulder f*cking missing!I nearly had a f*cking heart attack!" He yells.

Maison stops, and examines the man in front of her.

Peter's shoulders are tense. He's grinding his teeth and glaring at her, daring her to deny the truth.

Oh,some possessive part of her thinks,he cares.

"...I'm sorry." She is. She really is. "I made you worry and didn't even offer an explanation."

The older brunette relaxes, shoulders dropping. He watches her a moment longer before sighing and rubbing his neck. "...I can't say it fine becauseit really isn't,but I can see where you're coming from; I would do the same thing. But Maison," He moves to kneel in front of her, a hand caressing her cheek, "That's because I don't have a support system here – you do. If anything – or anyone – is bothering you, you just have to say and I will do everything in my power to help you. You're not alone."

His eyes were so sincere that she had to look away.

He sighs again, removes his hand and stands up.

Her cheek is cold.

"Think about it. I won't force you, but I will keep reminding you that until it's engraved in your mind."

"Oh, Maison~!" Chills run down her spine when she hears Peter. "There's someone here to see you~!"

The girl gets off the couch and goes to the front door. There, she sees Pacifica Northwest.

"I'll leave you two alone." Peter has a stupid grin on his face as he says this.

Suddenly feeling awkward, the blonde coughs, "So what can I help you with?"

"What happened to your shoulder?!" Pacifica demands, staring at the scarred flesh. Maison was wearing a tube top to allow easier access and because the tissue was still sensitive so everyone could see it.

"Hunting accident." Because shewashunted. "What did you say you wanted to talk about?"

Pacifica's lips purse. She clearly wants to know more about this 'accident' but lets it be. "I need your help."

"With what?"

"There's something haunting Northwest Manor." She takes off her sunglasses to stare at her with those blue eyes. "If you don't help me, the party could be ruined!"

"What party?"

"The Northwest family's annual high-society-shindig-ball-soiree is tonight." Peter calls out from the kitchen, outing himself for eavesdropping.

"Thank you, Peter." She says back in exasperation.

"Just name your price. I'll give you anything!" The party must mean quite a lot to her if she is willing to say such things.

"Anything?" Peter strides back to the door. "Then we want two tickets to the party, not including Maison's, of course."

"Wah–? Peter?"

"'Scuse us for a moment." He drags the blond away. "Come on, this is perfect for us!"

"How is it perfect? I have to exorcise a ghost while you make goo-goo eyes at Liam. That doesn't sound fair." She complains.

"It's perfect because we both get to spend a night with two hot – cute/pretty in your case – blondes!" He corrects. "It's killing two different birds in two different places with the same stone! Now go out there and agree!" He pushes her back to the door.

Maison sighs but does as she is told. "Fine. I'll take care of your stupid ghost for what Peter asked."

"As well as five thousand dollars." Peter adds. He bends at the waist, wrapping his arms around Maison's shoulders (keeping the weight off of the injured one), face close to her ear. A true devil on her shoulder. "As payment for the service."

Pacifica narrows her eyes. "The tickets are payment."

He laughs lightly, still close to Maison. "That is your way of getting Maison's attention. You can pay after the deed is done. Unless," he presses a finger against his lip. "There's no ghost and this is just your way of tricking her into coming because you're too afraid of asking her to be your date." His eyes sparkle, grin in place. "Is that correct?"

"As if!" The heiress grumbles and pulls out two tickets from her purse. "You're lucky I'm desperate."

"Don't worry!" Peter once again calls out as the girl is leaving. "I'll make sure that your girlfriend is beautiful enough to steal your breath!"

The man relishes in their flustered yells and blushes.

Abiel is once again called. They are no more happy to see Peter than the last time.

"Abiel!" Peter throws his arms wide in a grand gesture, "My good demon, how are you? How's the job? Are your nonexistent sex and romantic life the same as always?"

Abiel glares at the brunette before ignoring him and focusing on Maison. "Lady Yellow Wolf, what is it that you wish for?"

"Oi!"

"I need a dress, Abiel."

"Hey-"

"Understood. And what may the occasion be?"

"Don't-"

"The Northwest family ball is tonight."

"Seriously-"

"Are we going with a theme? Or possibly a matching outfit?"

"SHE NEEDS A DRESS TO IMPRESS PACIFICA!" Peter, who has had enough of being ignored, purposely steps between the two.

Abiel huffs and calmly says. "I wasn't speaking to you."

"Now listen here, you-"

"I really don't care what kind of dress it is." Maison speaks over the man, "I'll only be there for an exorcism. Nothing more."

"Just for that?" Abiel asks and she nods in confirmation. "Then I'll make sure that it is practical for that purpose while still being up to standard for such an event."

"Thank you, Abiel."

The two continue to ignore the seething brunette.

"When I told Abiel that I didn't care, I didn't expect them to create this."

This being a light blue corset dress with a skirt cage. Strips of tulle are draped and gathered over the front of the corset and sprinkled blossoms throughout the corset and cage, adjusted to cut a high curve up the hips to give a dramatic point at the centre front. It was light and airy, the fabric infused with magic so that it wouldn't tangle her legs. The matching kitten heels were cute too. The ruffle choker was just for aesthetic.

"The tiny blossoms are a nice touch." Complemented Peter, adding the finishing touches to her makeup.

Maison huffs but still agrees. While it may seem like a fairy dream gown, the dress hides secret compartments for a number of items – ranging from daggers to anointed water to her journal. The corset and cage even held several protection spells.

The brunette held out his hand, a charming smile in place. "Really for a woodland fairy dream night?"

She smiles back. "Lead the way."

Pacifica has a dusting of pink on her cheeks when she comes to pick them up and sees Maison.

Coincidentally, Maison also has pink dusting her cheeks when she sees the blonde.

Peter has a sh*t-eating grin.

After that, they had to pick up Liam before continuing their way to the mansion.

Liam, whose suit coincidentally complemented Peter's.

It is Maison's turn to be smug when she saw their reactions.

"Maison, stop being a smug brat. Nobody likes a smug brat. It's not cute." Peter, who is still staring at Liam, says.

"And nobody likes a hypocrite yet here you are being one."

"Oh, I'm not sure about that." Liam says, catching the brunette's eye and winking.

Maison didn't know humans could turn that red. Though the surprised yet smitten look Peter had sickened her.

She hopes she doesn't turn out like that.

"Ah, if it isn't the lady of the hour!" Preston Northwest says once the group is let in by the servants "Hopefully, you can help us with our little... situation, before the guests arrive in an hour."

"I'll do my best." Maison says.

"Splendid! Pacifica, take our guest to the 'problem room'." He examines her dress with a critical eye. "I must say, that quite the stunning dress you are wearing. If I may ask, where did you get it? I doubt that it was from the commoner shops."

"It is custom made, sir." She gives him a twirl to appreciate the craftsmanship.

"Could you give me the tailor's contact information?" Priscilla asks.

"Oh, I am afraid that would not be possible." Peter, like the devil he is, butts in the conversation. "You see, the tailor is quite private and only does work for one family only. A shame, but we have to respect their decision."

"One family you say." Preston has a hungry glint in his eyes. "Surely keeping such talent is expensive. I hadn't expected such a thing from the Pines family."

Maison does not this man at all.

"Oh, no." Peter quickly goes to correct. "It is not the Pines family that employs them, though I do see why you would make such a simple and common mistake." He laughs airily, as though he had not just insulted the man. Maison bites the inside of her cheeks to stop herself from laughing at the man's face.

"Then who does employ them?" The man asks, displeased at being made fun of.

Peter gives him an impish grin. "Hmm~." He pretends to think, enjoying the growing displeasure of the man. "I must ask the heiress first if it is alright with her to give away such valuable information." He turns to her, grin still in place and mischief in his eyes. "Lady Maison?"

Happy to play along, Maison also pretends to think before saying in a haughty manner. "I do not see a reason for us to share, not when our dear Abiel is more than happy to make outfits for us only. Such talent is quite hard to come by, you understand. It's only natural that we keep it for ourselves."

The Northwest couple is displeased but stay civil and polite. "Of course, we understand quite well." Their fake smiles sicken her.

"I do believe you asked the young lady for help with your ghostly problem." Liam joins the conversation, a flute of champagne already in hand, sliding next to Peter with practised ease and the brunette wraps an arm around his waist. "It would be a shame if the problem is still present when the guests arrive." He says with a pout. Peter looks like he wants to smother the dhampir with kisses.

Maison wants to see their reactions but Pacifica grabs her hand and drags her away before she can.

The 'problem room' is a trophy room with dead stuffed animal heads on the walls, paintings, a fireplace, and lots of dark wooden furniture, as well as a billiard table (Glaucia and Gnaus' is a lot nicer). The whole room is lit by the fireplace and gives it a dark reddish light.

"This is the main room where it's been happening," Pacifica says, closing the door.

"As clique as it may be, this does appear to be the kind of room that would be haunted." She walks around, spreading her magic as a precaution. "Do you have any information about this ghost? Any reason for them specifically to hate your family enough as to haunt you?"

The heiress looks away, pretending to examine one of the animal heads. "No. As far as I know, nobody hates usthat much."

Maison makes a sound in her throat, continuing to roam the room only to stop in front of a portrait of a lumberjack.

Broken Deal. Unfulfilled Deal.

"Who's this? He doesn't look like a relative of yours."

The girl barely speared the art a glance, "I don't know. Some worker or something."

"Must be quite the important worker for his portrait to be hung here."

"Look," Pacifica was starting to get agitated. Why? "You're supposed to be exorcising a ghost, not playing 21 questions with me."

"If I was playing that game with you, I would have asked you if you like girls." She looked back at the portrait, startled to see the lumberjack missing.

"What?" Pacifica blushes, then screams when she sees blood dripping out of the animals' mouths. The girl moves closer to Maison, and just in time as the fire roars out of the fireplace, too close for them to not suffer some burns if not for the protection spells.

ANCIENT SINS. ANCIENT SINS. ANCIENT SINS.

The heads chant as books, furniture, and antique weapons fly around the two, the chandelier above crackling dangerously.

"What is this?!" Pacifica cries out, pressing closer to the other blonde.

"A very pissed off ghost."

ANCIENT BLOOD AND BLACKENED SKIES. THE FOREST DARK SHALL ONCE MORE RISE.

"What do we do?!"

"We hide." Maison grabs Pacifica's hand, magic compressing and covering them, and hides under the billiard table. There she throws an arm over the other girl and tries to cover her body with her own.

Out of the fireplace emerges an enormous black skeleton with an axe in its skull.

Pacifica whimpers, but Maison quickly shushes her, pressing closer. They watch as the flesh reforms and blue flames ignite to approximate a beard.

"I smell... A NORTHWEST!" A second axe materializes in his hand and he drags it across the floor. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

"Dipper!" The heiress hisses, the ghost passing by too close for comfort. "Do something!"

Maison has the strange desire to nip the girl's ear as retribution for calling her the wrong name. "We need a silver mirror." She murmurs as quietly as she could into her ear. "Do you know where we can get one?" She feels her nod. "Okay, let's get out of here. On my mark..."

The billiard table is moved out of the way to reveal the two girls to the wrathful ghost. "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE!" He roars, swinging his axe.

Maison manages to roll them away and they make a break for the door.

"This way! Hurry!" Pacifica leads them down the hallway just as the guests are starting to arrive.

"Shouldn't we be helping Maison?" Liam asks as Preston welcomes the guests.

Peter, who is very much content to spend the night glued to the dhampir's side, answers lightly. "She can handle it."

The blonde pouts and his companion gives him a peck on the lips.

Slightly blushing, Liam says, "You're lucky I like you."

That, of course, earns him a smitten look.

The two blondes run, the ghost hot on their heels.

"Through the garden! Watch out for peaco*cks!"

Why the hell do they have peaco*cks? Wolves are much better pets.

"A silver mirror!" Maison cheers, prematurely. Just as she is about to step into the room for the mirror that is mounted on the rear wall, Pacifica grabs her by the bicep.

"Wait! Don't go in there! This room has my parents' favourite carpet pattern! They'll lose it if we track mud in there!"

"Are you f*cking serious?!" She turns back to the mirror, using force to move forward and managing to move an inch or two forward.

Pacifica, with her feet planted on the ground, tries to drag her back while also trying to persuade her. "We'll find another way!"

The two hear the lumberjack calling for them.

"Pacifica, we don't have time for this! Let me through!" She has half a mind to just use her powers and be done with everything.

"No, my parents will kill me!" She pulls harder, moving her feet back centimetre by centimetre.

"I will pay for the cleaning!" Maybe. Probably. Peter will. "Just let me through! Why are you so afraid of your parents?!"

"You wouldn't understand!" With strength Maison was not aware the girl possessed, Pacifica managed to pull them to the side and through a secret passage hidden behind a painting of a skeleton in a crown and robe. They ended up in a dark and dusty room covered in cobwebs.

Maison stood up and patted down her skirt, eyes roaming over the room and items. "What is this place?"

The heiress also inspected the room, "That's weird. I don't even know where this room is."

"Hopefully, neither does the ghost." She approaches the blonde, planning to keep as close to her as she could.

The girl agrees, relieved to be temporarily safe. That is short-lived, though, as the sheet behind her seems to come alive, reaching out to swallow her. Maison drags her away none too gently, in the process knocking down a box of silverware that also coincidentally contained a silver mirror. The blonde pulls the item to herself, plants herself in front of the heiress, and lifts the mirror just as the ghost swing down with his axe. There's a flash of light and the two are flung out the window, entangled in a drape as they roll down a short hill to the garden.

Once free from the heavy material, Pacifica asks, "Did you get him?"

Maison holds up the mirror to reveal the wrathful spirit pounding on the mirror's interior, "NO! FREE ME!"

The heiress cheers, enveloping the girl in a tight hug.

The Northwest couple meet up with Maison while she and Pacifica are still in the garden debating over which animal is a better pet – a wolf or a peaco*ck.

"Well, Pacifica, you really found the right lady for the job." Preston praises and snaps his fingers for a butler to shake Maison's hand.

"We can't thank you enough." Priscilla says, then adds, "That's enough." And the butler stops.

"I'm just holding up my end of the deal." The girl says.(Unlike you.)

"Wait, leaving already?" Pacifica comments when she sees her turn to leave, "You're at the world's best party, dummy."

The blonde smiles back, "Just need to dispose of this guy and I'll return. Think you can last that long without me keeping you company?"

The girl blushes and tries to laugh it off. "Please, you're not as great as you think."

"And yet you still want to spend time with me!" She grins cheekily, projecting as much of Peter as she could. It's only when she is out of sight that she lets herself blush and panic. "Oh God, was that too much? Did I come off too strong? What the hell was that?! I sounded like Peter whenever he's with Liam!"

The ghost laughs and she scowls.

"Don't laugh! It wasn't that bad of a train wreck!"

"Dear girl, you've been had."

"What?" Her blush intensifies. "It's not a crush, okay!? It's just normal talk between two girls."

"No. What I mean is that you have been tricked by the Northwests." He corrects.

Narrowing her eyes, she asks, "What do you mean?"

"One hundred and fifty years ago this day, the Northwests asked us lumber-folk to build them a mansion atop the hill. We were told t'would be a service to thetown, that once a year they would throw a grand party, and all would share in the bounty. It took years of backbreaking labour and sacrifice, but when it was time for the grand party they promised the common folk of the town, they refused to let us in." His tone was sad as he recounted his tale. "With the trees gone, the mudslides began. While they partied and laughed, I was swept away by the storm! And so I said with final breath, "One-fifty years I'll return from death, and if the gate's still closed to town, wealthy blood will stain the ground!" A curse passed down until this day."

Maison stopped in her tracks, "The Northwestsknew this haunting was coming, and they tricked me into helping them to avoid ghostly justice?"

Oh, that wouldn't do.

In the manor, Preston was conversing with Gravity Fall's 102-year-old mayor.

"Thank you so much for coming, Mayor. As a sign of our respect, please take this chimp servant." He held out said imp. "Keep him away from bright lights, he gets... grabby."

"NORTHWESTS!" The doors slam open to reveal a very pissed off Maison, "You've got some explaining to do!"

At the sound of her voice, Pacifica dashed in from another room, a smile on her lips, "You came back!"

If she weren't so mad, she would have teased the blonde heiress. "You lied to me!" She growled at the girl, stopping her in her tracks. "All of you did! All you had to do was let the townsfolk into the party and you could've broken the curse! But you made me do your dirty work instead!"

Preston leaned down threateningly, but Maison met his glare head-on. "Look at who you're talking to, girl. I'm hosting a party for the most powerful people in the world. You think they'd come here if they had to rub elbows with your kind?

"My kind?" She bares her teeth, her tightly controlled magic ready to burst at such an insult.

How dare he?! How dare he?! How dare he?!

She looks at the girl, who has become demure, "You really are just like your parents and ancestors. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, as they say."

"I'm sorry, they made me! I should've told you, but-" Pacifica is silenced by the ringing of a bell.

Preston tucks back the bell and says, "Enjoy the party! It's the last time you and your kind will ever come."

Maison wants to rip him apart, because who does he think he is talking to her like that?

Just like mother and father taught you.

She straightens, forces her anger down – from burning hot rage to cold biting frost – and looks down on the man who thinkshe is aboveher. "You better watch your tongue, Preston Northwest, for it is notIwho will never again come to such an event." She sneers(Just like mother and father and sister and brothers and aunt and uncle and cousin}. "One of these days, your broken deals will catch up to you and I will be there laughing at your demise."

He narrows his eyes and she meets him with disinterest.

"Get out of my house." He orders lowly.

Won't be his for long. croons her Magic.

"Won't be yours for long, luv." She throws back cheekily and walks away.

Maison is in the nearby woods, silver mirror with the entrapped ghost on a stump next to her. She watches the mansion, the music managing to reach her despite the distance.

"Maison, Maison," The ghost calls, "Please let me get my vengeance on the Northwests! You hate them as much as I."

"Oh, I will, don't worry." She assures. "I just want them to believe that they are safe."

She listens to the whistling wind, watching the night sky. There's no pollution here so the stars are easy to see. It's such a pleasant night – shame that it won't last long.

"Maison," The lumberjack calls out again and she turns.

Her hands grasp the mirror. "Before I release you, has the deal from 150 years ago expired? If a Northwest were to let in the townsfolk, would you stop haunting them?"

"Yes, I would." He answers truthfully. "Though I doubt that anyone from that family would do it if they haven't done it in the past."

The corners of her dark red lips turn up. "Good to know." Placing her thumbs on the centre, she presses down until cracks appear and the surface shatters. The ghost cackles madly and flies back to the mansion.

When Maison arrives, the panicked screams of guests greet her. A portion of them were turned into wood, the rest running around like headless chickens chased by the now alive taxidermy. She bypasses the chaos, eyes and magic wandering, searching for a head of blonde hair.

The lumberjack sees her but does nothing, letting her pass through without harm. He had no business with her.

She finds the girl in the dusty room.

"Can't say this room is fit for a lady of your stature but who am I to judge." She says, sitting down next to her. "Mind telling me why you are here? Is the party too much and you desired a break?"

"You were right, I really am just like my parents." Her companion admits. "You wanna know why this room was locked up? This is what I found in here." She points the light of her flashlight at some painting showcasing the sins of her ancestors. "A painted record of every horrible thing that my family's ever done. Lying, cheating, and then there's me. I lied to you just because I'm too scared to talk back to my stupid parents!" She took off her diamond earrings and threw them at a painting of Preston and Priscilla.

Maison listened and then spoke. "I may have been a bit too rash with my judgement. You aren't like your family."

"Yes, I am. I tricked you."

"Because you were afraid. Because you did not feel safe in being or in expressing yourself. I cannot fault you for that." She twists to face her and cups her cheek, thumb swiping the tears. "Pacifica, from what I have seen until now, you arenothing like your relatives. You are kind and sweet and fun. You also have a great singing voice."

The blonde laughs, "God, you remember that? I was such a bitch."

"Oh, you definitely were, but that's just how you are when you get competitive."

The two share a smile.

Pacifica looks away. "What now?"

"Well, you can either let the townsfolk in or you can just walk away." She says as though she were asking her whether she wanted pizza or salad. "Most of the guests should by now have been turned into the wood so I doubt anyone will stop you if you choose the latter."

Pacifica gasps. "What?!"

"The guests are turned into wood, the taxidermy has been brought back to life and I'm pretty sure I saw trees and flora growing inside."

"How can you be so nonchalant about this?!"

"Honestly, what happened the other night was far more traumatic than this." She shrugs her scarred shoulder, drawing blue eyes to it.

"Is that when...?"

"I got my shoulder f*cked up? Yeah. Pretty sure I'm in shock and still trying to process what happened."

Pacifica stares at her. "You're insane."

Maison cracks a grin. "Not yet, but getting there." She stands up, holding out her hand. "Now, what will it be, Miss Northwest? Will you fulfil the 150-year-old deal or will you walk away and let all of these rich people suffer?"

The heiress hesitates to take her hand.

In an act of compassion (and mercy, Maison adds), Pacifica chooses the former.

"A forest of death, a lesson learned. And now the Northwest Manor will BURN!" They hear the lumberjack say as the manor starts to burn. Maison is curious to know if the now wooden guest would feel the flames, but that felt voicing that thought would displease the blonde greatly. Instead, she accompanies the girl to the lever that will open the gate.

"Hey, ugly! Over here!" Pacifica yells, catching the ghost's attention. "You want me to let in the townsfolk? 'Cause I'll do it! Just change everyone back!"

"YOU WISH TO PROVE YOURSELF? PULL THAT LEVER AND OPEN THE GRAND GATE TO THE TOWN! FULFILL YOUR ANCESTORS' PROMISE!"

Just as she is about to grasp the lever, her parents along with the butler poke their heads out of an underground hatch. "Pacifica Elise Northwest, stop this instant! We can't let the town see us like this! We have a reputation to uphold! Now come into the panic room. There are enough mini-sandwiches and oxygen to last you, me, and a butler a full week." He then whispers. "We'll eat the butler."

She looks at Maison who smiles, "It's your choice, Paz. Not your father's."

Inhaling deeply, she grasps the lever, making Preston narrow his eyes. "You dare disobey us?" He pulls out the damned bell only for it to be taken by Maison.

"Nice bell, Northwest. It would be a shame if someone were to ruin it." She summons her flames, making them burn hot enough for the metal to liquefy and the wooden handle to burn.

The couple gasps, "What are you?"

She bares her teeth in a parody of a smile, eyes burning a molten gold. "Your worst nightmare."

Pacifica pulls. The gates open. Maison slams the hatch close.

"YES, YES, IT'S HAPPENING!" The ghost cheers as he watches. "MY HEART, ONCE HARD AS OAK, now grows soft like more of a... birch, or something."

"Like sap?" Maison suggests, standing on the opening.

"Sap is sticky." The heiress says, approaching to stand next to her, and coincidentally also on the hatch door.

"Pacifica," The ghost addresses. "You are not like the other Northwests. I feel... lumber justice." He faded to nothing, the axe in his head falling and sinking into the ground.

"...Would it be disrespectful if I took the axe?"

"I have no idea."

There was a rumbling noise and the doors of the manor burst open as the townsfolk enter the party. The two watch the chaos, ignoring the loud thumps coming from under their feet.

"What did we miss?" Peter asks, not bothering to straighten his dishevelled appearance. His coat was slung over his shoulder, his dress shirt was untucked, the tie and top three buttons were undone, his hair was a mess, and there were marks on his neck and something red smudged on his lips.

"Is that lipstick?"

He winks, "Liam likes making himself look extra pretty."

"And where is he now?"

He hums, eyes wandering until they find their target. "With his girlfriend."

They follow his eyes to see Lillia slapping the dhampir and turning to leave only to see them watching. Peter smirks, wiggling his fingers in greeting.

Maison may not have been close or even a fan of the teen, but she didn't think anyone deserved to be in her situation. She warily watches her approach, pulling Pacifica behind her in case things turned physical. There were tears in Lillia's eyes as she spoke to her brother with a trembling voice.

"I hope you're happy."

Peter smiled brightly, "I am! I didn't know Liam could move like that in bed!"

That makes her choke on her tears and run away.

"You're an asshole!" Pacifica tells him, eyes burning bright.

"Don't worry, I know." He taps his foot. "Want me to move one of the taxidermies here? I think it would look wonderful with the whole chaos."

Maison answers instead of the blonde. "We can, just to see if it would fit."

He laughs and heads off to bring the bear.

"Why are you friends with him?" Her companion asks her when he is out of earshot.

She thinks, and comes up with nothing concrete. "I don't know, but I wouldn't change it for the world. It's his assholish personality that makes our friendship that much more fun."

"Move out of the way, lovebirds." Speak of the devil and he shall appear. "I managed to get the orchestra to play some good jams and would like to ask Liam for a dancebeforethe party is over."

"I thought you guys already danced?" She asks innocently, making the man laugh.

"God, I'm such a bad influence." He pinches her cheek and walks away.

The orchestra changes notes and she turns to Pacifica.

"May I have this dance, miss Northwest?" She holds out her hand.

The blonde doesn't hesitate this time. "You may, miss Pines."

Maison pulls her close, eliciting a laugh as she twirls her around. "Please, call me Maison."

Chapter 32: Anomaly

Chapter Text

"–and then we danced till the early hours of the morning." Maison retold. "I had a lot of fun, and Pacifica looked really pretty with her dress, and I kind of wanted to kiss her, but that doesn't mean I have a crush on her! I'm just comfortable enough to admit that she has a nice smile and a laugh that makes me want to kiss her silly. That doesn't mean I have a crush on her, right?" Maison looked at her companion.

The older version of her, but not her, pursed her lips and rolled her eyes up. "Dude, that is literally what a crushis. Just admit it already. I can't believe I was this hopeless ten years ago."

Maison pouts. "It's not!"

"Yeah, it is!"

Maison scowled and looked away, cheeks pink.

The older girl sighs, "Look, kid, I know it may look hard and scary to confess to Pacifica, but I can assure you that she is also into girls. For God's sake, she dated Mable!Don't let this opportunity pass, pursue her!"

The blonde groaned, "Thanks, but I'm still not sure. I mean, it was only one night filled with running and yelling and dodging a murderous ghost because some old guys in the past didn't fulfil their end of a deal. It's just too soon for me to tell her that I like her like that." She slumps back against the chair.

The two were in the Mindscape, in the shack's kitchen. Maison had been trying to find the 'anomalies' – as she had taken to calling those silhouettes and versions of her – and possibly study them. After several unsuccessful days of exploring the Mindscape, she finally managed to find one.

The anomaly was older, in her 20s – possibly 22 or 23 given her earlier comment – her long hair, bleached and dyed a hot pink that turned peach at the end with the roots showing, was tied into a high ponytail, showing off her black undercut. Given her outfit, Maison assumed she was going through a punk phase – all black stockings, knee-high boots, black high-waisted shorts and a yellow long sleeve crop top. And make-up. Can't forget the make-up. Thick eyeliner and mascara and purple lipstick.

"Yeah," The anomaly chuckled, "Must be pretty weird seeing yourself like this, right?" She gestured to herself. Maison nodded and she continued, "It wasn't really my style when I first started dressing up like this, but Tambry helped."

"Tambry?" She must mean Timber. This confirmed that the anomaly was definitely not her. A different version of her from an alternative universe maybe?

"Yeah, Robbie's girlfriend. Or maybe they aren't dating yet? Oh, sh*t. Uh, spoilers?"

Robbie? Better test this out.

"But I thought Robbie liked..." She gestured vaguely, face schooled into a mask of confusion.

"Wendy? Oh boy, that's a long story and all you need to know is that it's Mabel's fault."

"Ah, of course."

They sat around in silence, and Maison took the time to examine the woman a bit more. What caught her eye were the bruises on her neck, almost entirely hidden by a wide choker.

Handprints.

Maison shivered. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm? Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Well," She gestured to her own neck.

The woman blushed, hand flying to her neck, then laughed awkwardly. "It's not what you think. These are consensual."

Eyes wide, the girl asked in astonishment. "You willingly let someone choke you?"

"Yup." The woman smiled, a touch playful. "Grunkle Stan has given you the sex talk, right?"

Peter and Mr. Murik's books did, actually. "..Yes?"

"Okay, so I'm going to broaden your knowledge on sex, if that is alright with you?" She waited for the pre-teen to nod. "Cool. So you know how some people like trying out different things in bed? Be it positions, places, and items. Well, my partner likes choking. We tried it out and found that I am also into it. As well as biting, whipping, bondage, knife play, edging–" She ticked off on her fingers.

"Okay, okay. You're a freak in bed, I got it! Stop talking, please." Maison said, cheeks aflame and hands covering equally red ears.

The anomaly laughed, head and chair tipped back. "Oh, please.Don't act as though you haven't read stories of that kind."

That's different.

"That's different!" She cried out. "Those are fictional characters! Their actions have no power over me. You are me!"

The woman rolled her eyes. "And? Just because I do something, doesn't mean you will also do it. Everyone is in charge of their own actions. You're from the past! You still have the ability to change the future. Let me have my fun."

Maison grumbled at the anomaly's words. She never thought she would end up arguing with herself, and found out that it is quite unpleasant – especially when she is in the wrong.

Displeased, Maison changes the subject, "What's the future like?"

The woman is silent for a moment. "It's sh*t. The whole system in America is a f*cking scam and it's screwing everyone over. People are dumber than the f*cking gnomes. People are also hom*ophobes and other similar terms. Also, we're going to die from global warming because the rich don't give a sh*t about us and those in power are f*cking eyeless idiots who do not believe in science!"

The blonde takes a moment to digest the rant before speaking, "Okay... And what about you? How have you been?"

The woman stares, then slumps. "Not good. I've been losing sleep as well as time. There are moments when I'm reading over my news article, then I blink and find myself standing in the woods, staring at a runner's path and holding a knife." She rubs her face, the exhaustion evident.

"...What about your partner? Do they know?"

"Him? Yeah, he knows. He's been helping me here and there but it doesn't work all the time and he can't always be near me. In fact, some of the things have started working less. Bill's getting worried."

"Wait, Bill? As in, Bill Cipher? What the hell?! You're dating him?!"

"Okay, first of all, Bill is a pretty common name and nickname. Not every guy you meet named Bill is Bill Cipher."

"Right, sorry."

"Second of all, we're f*ck buddies"

"What the–?! Are you f*cking serious?!"

"No, I'm f*cking Bill. But I'm not against having a threesome with the two of them."

"OhmyGod." Maison groans onto the table. The pinkette consolingly pats her shoulder. Once she has accepted the knowledge that another version of herself is in a very physical relationship with a dream demon, Maison lifts her head. "Aren't you worried that Bill may be the one that is causing all of that?"

"Bill swears it's not him."

"And you believe him?"

"Yes." Maison stares at her and she shrugs, "Look this has been happening for a long time, long before Bill was even aware of my existence. Sure, the whole point of us meeting again was so that he could study what the f*ck is wrong with me, but feelings grew and he got attached. You could say that I'm unintentionally emotionally blackmailing him."

"...And you? Do you care about him?"

The woman contemplates the answer. "Yeah, I think so. He's...fun to be around." There's a certain look in her eyes that Maison can't discern. "Once you get used to his humour, I mean. He's also very knowledgeable and we get into debates and hypothetical arguments. I like Bill. I like his presence."

The silence blankets them after that, each trapped in their own thoughts.

"You know," The pinkette starts, "I may say that it's been ten years since the Northwest dance, but I'm pretty sure it's been a lot longer."

"What makes you say that?" Maison questions, raising her guard.

The woman gives her a decrepit smile, "Because it makes no sense for me to still be in my twenties when Mabel is in her eighties."

When Maison wakes up, she knows that it won't be a good day for her – not with the way her stomach is aching.

As she makes her way to the main bathroom where the medicine cabinet is and where, hopefully, there will be painkillers, she sees Stan and Mabel peering into the closet with excited grins. Stan notices her first.

"Woah, don't you look awful. Didn't get enough sleep last night?"

"Not in the mood, grunkle Stan. I've got a killer stomach ache." She walks past them, not bothering to check what had gotten them in such high spirits.

"There's some medicine on the second shelf in a white box." He tells her, lifting a medium-sized box with fireworks. "Me and Mabel will be on the roof, setting off dangerous, illegal fireworks. Come join us when you feel better."

She waves at him half-heartedly.

Even if she did intake a pill, it would take a few minutes for it to kick in.

The blonde groans, "God, I hope nothing happens today."

That, of course, jinxed it.

The most natural reaction upon having someone literally kick down your door and point a gun at you is to scream.

Maison, on the other hand, points a gun right back.

"Drop your weapon!" Yells the stranger dressed in protective gear.

"f*ck you!" She yells back and fired thrice – twice in the thigh and once in the chest. As the man stumbled to the ground, she quickly grabs his weapon and runs out of the room to the shop where a lot more agents were who quickly detain her. "Let me go!" She yells, trashing in their hold. Handcuffs are placed and she is dragged out.

"–What did I do that warrants this much arresting?” Stan's voice draws her attention. The older man is handcuffed and pressed against the trunk of a police car, two agents near him.

"Grunkle Stan!" She calls out, aiming a kick at an agent's shin. "What's happening?"

"We have secured the kids. Evans has been wounded." The man holding Maison reports.

"He aimed a gun at me! It was in self-defence!" She retorts.

"Kid, calm down. You don't want to make things worse than they are." Stan tells her and she reluctantly complies, glaring fiercely.

An agent, barely familiar, holds up a digital tablet with footage already playing. "This is security footage of a government waste facility. At o'four hundred hours last night, two people robbed three hundred gallons of dangerous waste."

"What?" Exclaims Stan. "You think that's me?"

"Don't play dumb with us, Pines." The agent orders sternly.

"But I actually am dumb!" He says as he is led away. "Last night I was stocking the gift shop. I swear!"

"Wait! Grunkle Stan!" Cries out Mabel. "You've got the wrong guy! Our Grunkle Stan might shoplift, but he's not some evil supervillain!"

The agent bends down to be on eye level with the girls, which also means that it will be easier for Maison to spit in his face. "Listen, kids. We've been watching your family all summer and we've seen some disturbing things. But nothing as dangerous as what your uncle is hiding. Somewhere hidden in this shack is a doomsday device!"

Maison manages to hit his eye. She glares. "You really think you're hot sh*t, don't you? You spent countless resources over a simple con man because you think there's a 'doomsday device'? Don't make me laugh! Where's your proof?"

The agent wipes himself and tells his partner. "Trigger, you take the children. I'll talk to the old man." He looks back at her. "Sorry to break it to you kids, but you don't know your uncle at all."

Agent Trigger snaps his fingers and the girls are led into a police car.

Intent on having the final word, the blonde yells, "Hope your pillow is warm on both sides and your sock always slides down when you walk!"

At the Gravity Falls police station, after getting his mugshots and prints taken, Stan is then sat in front of a bulletin board with various pictures connected with strings that all meet up to a picture of him.

"Stanford Pines, you stand accused of theft of government waste, conspiracy, and possession of illegal weapons." Agent Powers says, looming over the man. "How do you plead to these charges?"

"Uh, guilti-cent! I mean, inno-guilty!" The man stumbles. "Um, can I have my phone call?

Noel is quite irritated when he hits accept on the call. He was just on the roll with a scene that had been giving him some trouble for the last few days when the damned ringtone (he likes his ringtone, it just annoyed him at that moment) broke his creative stride.

"What?" He snaps.

"Noel," Stan's urgent and low tone erases whatever irritation he had."We've got a problem."

"What's the situation?" The vampire is already out of his chair, hurrying down the stairs to put on his shoes and grab his wallet.

"The government has found out. Or at least, they have a clue." Noel swears at that. "I need to go to the shack and watch over things."

"What about the girls? Where are they?"

"They've been led away. Wouldn't worry too much about them. Maison's in a bad mood today and wounded a guy. She can take care of herself. Hopefully, Mabel as well."

"Want me to call in Hunters?"

"We both know he's a wild card. Whether or not he helps us depends on how lax his leash is." There is some shifting from the other side before the man speaks again. "I need to go. Agents seem to be getting agitated."

"Stay safe." Noel doubts that he has ever meant it more than at that moment.

"Right back at you, fangs."

Maison and Mabel are in the back of a cruiser with Agent Powers communicating through a video link with Agent Trigger in the front. "We've got Mr Pines in custody. Our men are searching the shack for the device. You take care of those kids."The call ends.

Maison rattles the handcuffs. They really are as annoying as Peter had said. "What are you going to do to us?"

"We'll be taking you to child services." Trigger says and the brunette boo's. "In the meantime, enjoy some mindless reality TV, designed to pacify you and make you stop asking questions." He presses a button and the screen on the back of his seat turns on.

"f*ck." The blonde thumps her head back, eyes closed tight. This was a mess. She needs a plan. Opening her eyes, she looks at Mabel. The girl is upset, that much is obvious, but she made no move to oppose what is happening.

Drumming her fingers against her thigh, Maison wondered what the risks of crashing the car are.

It worked for them.

She looks back, the car passing by the crashed silhouette of itself, two figures leaving.

Inhaling deeply, she mutters to herself, "Hope this works." and sets in motion her hastily made plan. First, she puts Mabel under a sleeping spell, spending an extra minute to put on her seatbelt, then raises herself up to Trigger's shoulders and moves to the front.

"What the–?! Get back!" A short scuffle follows, the car veering into the opposite lane before returning as he straightens the wheel, which proves to be useless as Maison shoves her hands in his face, blocking his view.

"Sleep." She hisses. The man slumps back, hands falling off the wheel.

Working quickly, she grabs the wheel, and, after putting up a small shield, sharply turns it to the side. Off the road they go and into a thick tree. After a moment, the shield goes down. The airbag had inflated, giving the agent a nice, if suffocating, pillow to rest on. Looking back, she checks Mabel's status – alive and sleeping; uninjured.

Patting the man's jacket and trousers, the blonde successfully fishes out a ring with multiple keys. "What are you, a janitor?" Snorting at her little joke, the girl starts the troublesome process of finding the correct key. "This looks so much easier on TV."

Once released, she cuffs the man's hand to the steering wheel and exits the car. Now what?

Maison winces as she feels a sharp pain in her gut. "f*ck." Crouching on the forest floor, the blonde thinks about what she could do. She could return to the shack, but she doesn't have a plan for what to do once there. Maybe go somewhere else? To an ally? But she couldn't leave the shack in the agents' hands during that time. Who knows what they would do if they found the portal.

The girl gasps as she is lifted – no, she floats.

"What the f*ck?" That has to be caused by the portal. There is no other explanation.

"Guess I'm going back." Straightening herself, she turns towards the road.

"What the f*ck was that?!" Liam asks, dusting himself off.

Peter looks around, pulls out his phone to fiddle with it for a moment, and says, rather intellectually, "Ah,"

"'Ah'? What does 'Ah' mean?"

"It means that today the Pines family will be having a reunion. And we'll be their uninvited guests."

"What."

"I'll explain on the way. Just grab the smoothies and let me call Chrisy. Your dad is probably already there."

"Again – what."

Stan checks his watch, "Only five more hours till it happens. I gottabe there! Come on, Stan, you gotta think of a way outta this." He bangs his head repeatedly against the table. "Think! Think!"

The device blinks and chirps, flashing an "ANOMALY IN PROGRESS". The coffee on the table floats out of its cup, along with the cup itself and various items, then crashes back down.

"They're getting stronger." An idea strikes him. "Of course, that's it!"

Travelling through the Mindscape, where time can be stopped, is great. Especially when she can call in on her wolves. Now if only she could stop feeling pain...

Rex whines pitifully at her hiss, slowing down to a stop.

"I'm fine, boy, don't stop." She tries to smile, but it comes off as more of a grimace. The canine whines again but continues to run until they reach their destination. Even frozen it looks like the shack is surrounded by ants.

The two cross the lawn and enter, carefully passing the frozen agents. "There are a lot more agents than I expected."

"I know," A voice says and they jump back. "Woah! Hey, I didn't mean to startle you." A figure steps forward, hands held up. She was another anomaly – hair dyed a minty green, wearing black pressed pants, a matching suit jacket held closed by a thin belt on the narrowest part of her waist, but without a shirt or bra underneath, allowing everyone to see her breasts, black heels, and a light amount of make-up.

"Who are you?" A rather idiotic question that Maison felt the need to voice.

"I think we both know you I am." There was something in the anomaly's smile that she did not like.

The blonde works her jaw. The womanshould by principle be stronger than her, so there is no point in being brash and attacking head-on. If she is lucky enough, then the one in front of her would be one of the non-violent anomalies.

"You need to get down to the control room, right?" A minty eyebrow is raised, the smile – more like a smirk – still on her lips. Do alternative versions of her enjoy dyeing their hair? She hasn't considered the idea of (willingly and by choice) changing her hair colour, but she just might give it a try.

"Yes."

"Then follow me. You know the code, right? Or should I punch it in?" She expertly moved between the stilled bodies.